Three Stries

I hadn't expected him to show up last night. Hell, I wasn't aware he knew where I lived, so imagine my surprise when

he

was the

unexpected guest

blowing up my front door. I wished I could've said it was hard to watch him breakdown before my eyes, but I can't. If I was willing to admit it or not, my masculinity had desperately needed the encouragement that I wasn't a total failure, that I wasn't unwanted, and that my feelings weren't one sided.

In general, it had been weeks since I'd looked forward to the morning. Ever since shit hit the fan with Gordy, my sleep had been fitful (at best) and non-existent (at worst), but going to sleep while knowing he'd be there in the morning changed everything. For the first time in weeks, I didn't want to sleep in—I wanted to wake up. I wanted start my day with him.

There was one thing I should've known about Gordy—never make assumptions. Unfortunately for me, I didn't learn from my mistakes. Waking up alone shouldn't have come as a surprise, but it did. In fact, waking up alone after an amazing night with Gordy was quickly becoming a PTSD nightmare. The one time I'd managed to wake up with him there, I suffered a different kind of PTSD. I was zero for three and seriously doubted I'd ever get ahead. The reality that things would never work out between us was starting to become blindingly obvious.

Take the hint, Shane.

As I contemplated packing my shit and moving to another country to find a cute pool boy who wanted nothing more than a lurid affair, I heard my phone vibrate on the nightstand.

[Aaron] Am I picking you up? Let me know ASAP, loser

[Me] This number is no longer available. If you think you've reached this recording in error, please hang up and try again

I set the phone back down. We were supposed to go to breakfast, but I wasn't feeling up to it anymore. Instead, I was going to get some work done, maybe even get some shit done around my house. I heard my phone vibrate, again. Surely it was Aaron. Ignoring him, I rolled onto my back and stared at the ceiling. I'd long since given up on trying to

not

think about the unhinged teeter totter that had quickly become my love life. In past relationships, I hadn't ever stuck around for that shit.

As Aaron threw open my bedroom door, he shouted.

"

You need a new phone, mother fucker

!"

Aaron, Kurt, and then Drew took a running jump and landed on top of me. I struggled under the massive weight of three athletic men. Individually, I was bigger than all three of them, but there wasn't much I could do when it was three against one.

If I hadn't been tied down by the blankets, I probably could've got the upper hand, but my legs were trapped, which made it very difficult to use my lower body—the key to any good wrestling match is using your legs to immobilize your opponent.

"Did you think you could just cancel and we'd turn over and take it without a fight?"

Drew tried to pin my arm, but he was the smallest of the group and didn't stand a chance. I grabbed his arm and yanked him off of me and down onto the bed. Before I knew it, both Aaron and Kurt were straddling me. Aaron was sitting on my stomach, fighting my hands, while Kurt was sitting in the opposite direction, with his back against Aaron, as he tried to pin my legs.

There was only one way to get them off so I started thrusting my hips up and moaning.

"I've dreamed about this scenario for years. A three-way with my two hot,

straight

, best friends!"

Aaron looked confused—that is until I licked my lips and jerked my arm outs, which he was holding, forcing him to lose his balance and collapse on top of me. Before he had a chance to do anything, I leaned up and planted a big old fat kiss on his lips. He jumped off of me quicker than I'd ever seen him move before.

"

Oh, my god

!" Aaron wiped his lips as he laughed, hysterically.

I sat up as Kurt looked back to see what was going on, wrapped my arms around his chest, and pulled him against my chest as we slammed down onto the bed. I quickly rolled us over so Kurt was face down on the mattress and I was lying on top of him as I proceeded to dry hump him like a dog.

I tried to moan without laughing. "Fuck, Kurt, you feel so good! Your virgin ass is so tight!"

Kurt was thrashing around under me as he tried his hardest to get out from under my assault while Aaron and Drew were laughing in the background. Finally, I rolled off and slapped his ass for good measure. His foot caught on the blanket as he tried to jump off of the bed, which sent him face first onto the floor. I was laughing so hard, I could barely breathe as Kurt pulled himself up.

"

Gross

!

You sick fuck

!" he chided, although he wasn't trying hard to hide the amusement on his face.

"Sorry, but I can't resist being straddled by two muscular hotties. After all, I'm only a mere man," I cupped my dick and shook it for effect, which made them laugh.

I was sure they were a little weirded out, but it was nothing out of the normal for us—as lifelong friends, we'd done plenty of things to make each other uncomfortable over the years. The guys joked back and forth and made their way to the kitchen while I took a quick shower and got dressed before loading into Aaron's truck and going to breakfast.

Aaron had been eyeing me suspiciously the whole morning and it was starting to get on my nerves. So, by the time we reached the restaurant, I was done with it. He'd done worse things to me than a little dry humping and I never threw a bitch-fit about it. Not even when they left me stranded in the desert.

After catching him looking at me on the sly for the thousandth time, I snapped. "

Dude, seriously? Stop freaking out. I was only joking

!"

He looked confused for a moment then started to laugh.

"I know you've wanted my ass for years. I'm surprised it took you so long to try and get my dick."

"Ha. You flatter yourself. You're not my type. If anything, I'd be into Kurt. Tall, dark, and quiet. So manly, yet, I bet he'd be a power bottom."

I looked to the back seat in time to see Kurt roll his eyes to himself as he shook his head, which made everyone in the truck laugh.

"Gross," he mumbled.

I adjusted the mirror so I could see Drew, who was sitting behind me.

"Besides, we all know it's Drew who wants to be tapped. For real though, since when have you been gay?"

"What the hell are you talking about? I'm not gay."

I dramatically rolled my eyes.

"Totally! Straight guys

always

get boners when they flirt with Donovan."

"I—"

Everyone snapped their head toward Drew and waited to hear what his excuse was. He looked uncomfortable, which was strange because no one would've cared. Out of everyone in my life, it was my best friends who were the most supportive when I came out.

"I'm not gay," he crossed his arms and looked out of the window as he pouted. "Who are you to judge, anyway?"

"I'm not judging, I'm only curious is all. It's painfully obvious that

something

is going on with you. You know we're all here for you, right?"

As he continued to stare out of the window, "I'm not gay."

Aaron chuckled. "Yeah, you keep saying that. It's not that we don't believe you, but maybe your

bi

? Or

curious

? At least admit you have the hots for our little Gordy."

"Objectively, he's an attractive man with a solid personality—"

"Who you

desperately

want to fuck or, at least, get a BJ from," Kurt interrupted.

Drew didn't deny it. Actually, he didn't say anything at all. I wanted to look back and find out why he hadn't answered, but I didn't. The awkward tension built up until Aaron finally broke.

"You really do have a crush on him."

"Fuck, I don't know! I'm not gay, but—" Drew groaned.

"But Gordy gets you too hot to trot. So, how long have you been attracted to guys?"

"Uh, I don't know. I'm not

always

attracted to guys. The first time I noticed a guy was Chris, from college."

"Why didn't you say something?"

My feelings were hurt because he didn't feel he could confide in me about his sexuality.

Especially regarding something I'm knowledgeable about

.

"Because I've seen your dick!"

"What the hell does that have to do with anything?"

"Because I didn't want you to try to fuck me!"

"For a group of uglies, you all think highly of yourselves. Except Kurt, who's always humble, which is why I'd fuck

him

in an instant," I looked back and winked at him.

In unison, everyone mocked Kurt's typical response to almost everything he didn't like.

"Gross!"

After settling into a weird silence, I said.

"You know you can't have him, right?"

Drew furrowed his brows with confusion, "Donovan?"

I nodded.

"Yeah, Yeah. Bros before hoes."

I glared into the mirror. "That's not—"

Drew interrupted and chastised me, "

I don't know what it is about Donovan, but you get so damn testy

!"

"Maybe the fact that he's my boyfriend and you don't need to be jealous."

Aaron looked at me, from the driver's seat, with disbelief and wonder.

"Wait! What? When did that happen? The last I knew; you guys were broke-up...

big time

broke up."

"I don't know, last night? Maybe. We're not together, but we're not

not

together, either."

Aaron tapped the steering wheel as if he'd won the lottery.

"Tell us everything!"

I looked at Aaron, who was overly excited about something relatively trivial, and smiled. We'd always had a weird relationship where we were men's men, but also overly invested in each other's lives. I had to admit though, it was always fun to over share my sexual exploits and try to see how far I could take it before one of them cried uncle. The joke was always on me since they took gay sex like champs.

We took our seat in the café and I told them every little detail—Donovan showing up unannounced, the crying, the talking, the sex, the sex confessional followed by more sex, falling asleep, and then waking up alone. Only silence remained when I was finished. Kurt sighed.

"I don't know. Hector, my pool guy, is married with two grown kids, but I can ask him if he'd be down for a little "

man dish

" on the side. He might not be the pool boy you were dreaming about this morning, but you don't have a lot of room to be picky at the moment."

"

Gross

! Hector is in his

sixties

!" Drew cried.

"I'd agree with you if it wasn't for the fact I just found out Donovan's clingy friend, the chubby one, is boning Uncle Mickey."

I looked at Aaron, who wore the same, scrunched up, sour face as I had and, together, we all said.

"

Eww

!"

I vaguely recalled Donovan mentioning something about it, but honestly, I thought he was exaggerating—evidently not!

"Is anyone else trying

not

to picture it?" I asked.

If I was going to be mentally scarred for life, I was going to take everyone down with me. There was a wave of grunts and groans, then Aaron punched my arm.

"You know what, screw you. To think Nick and I went to Donovan's house last week and talked you up before sending him your way. I was the best wingman ever and what do I get in return? The visual of Uncle Mickey ramming a screaming Sammy. I'll be surprised if I

ever

get a boner

again

."

I laughed when Aaron shuddered at the imagery. Our conversation halted when the waitress came to take our order, but after she left, Aaron resumed.

"So, do you fucking love him?"

"Yeah, I do."

I was head over heels

crazy in love

with him. The effect he had on me was instant and it multiplied like crazy. It was all so new for me and more than anything—it was incredibly terrifying.

"That explains why you've been such a giant D-bag this whole time. I have only one question. Why the hell are you here with us?"

"He bailed this morning. I might be in love with the guy but that doesn't mean it's going to work between us. You know what they say, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Last night, I wanted so badly to believe things were different, but waking up this morning was a reminder they aren't. We did what we always do, and it hasn't worked before, why should it now? Nothing's changed."

"My guess is, he probably had to work and didn't want to wake you up. I doubt you would've woke him up if the roles were reversed."

He did work Sundays.

"Possibly, but what does it change? Nothing. Sometimes, wanting to be with someone, isn't enough."

"Maybe," he shrugged. "Shouldn't you at least have a real conversation with him before making any decisions? A conversation when sex isn't an option."

I mulled it over. He wasn't wrong. I just didn't want to get my hopes up.

"I'll talk to him today."

Everyone smiled, encouragingly. I'd never been big on relationships so they knew it was a big deal.

"Awesome. I'm excited for you. You're kinda dating Donny Allerton. How have we

not

talked more about this?

Donny-fucking-Allerton

. The guy you were obsessed with."

I'd never been a fan boi of anything, but I had to admit—I'd gone crazy over Donny. He was so good looking and watching him effortlessly play baseball was a turn on. He was talented and graceful in how he moved and oh, God...

his smile

.

I hadn't seen him for almost ten years so it wasn't exactly surprising I hadn't recognized him. I smiled, playfully, knowing the only person I'd ever been infatuated with ended up being someone I dated. I had sex with Donny Allerton. I wanted to shove it in Thad's face, but he'd gone home before we'd found out the truth.

Being always the humble one, Kurt added, "He's just Gordy to us. You should find out if he wants to join us today for the pool party then maybe you'll get your pool boi after all!"

"Yeah and then you guys can

do it

in Kurt's pool and leave jizz

everywhere

," Drew teased, trying to get a rise out of Kurt.

"

Gross

!" We all responded at the same time as Kurt, making everyone chuckle.

"I'll ask, but if he's working, he won't get off until six."

"That's fine. It's a heated pool so we can go all night. Make sure to let him know his friends are coming, too."

I nodded and looked around the table. Lunch with the guys was a painfully

slow

process. I wanted to go and see Donovan, but I didn't have a car—until I spied Aaron's car keys sitting on the table next to his wallet and sunglasses.

While everyone was busy talking, I carefully pocketed his keys and excused myself. After I'd gotten to the front door, I jogged to his truck and took off toward the hospital—I'd always wanted to pay them back for leaving me in

nowhere

Nevada during our post college road trip. Waking up in a hotel

alone

, only to find out they'd driven the rest of the way to California without me, was not the highlight of the trip.

I was nervous during the drive. Any calmness I'd found earlier was gone and I was back to over thinking. I was definitely going to the hospital to see Donovan, but my fall back plan was to pick up some paperwork that'd been left for me last week. If I misread the situation, and Donovan

didn't

want to see me, I'd simply use work as the reason I'd stopped by.

After parking, I made my way to the front desk.

"I think Mr. Humphrey left some papers for me, Shane Kelly."

It took her less than a second to know exactly what I was talking about and rushed to another room before returning with a large manila envelope with my name on it. I thanked her, kindly, before continuing on with my journey.

Thwack, thwack, thwack.

I nervously hit the thick envelope against my thigh as I waited for the elevator.

*** *** *** ***

The fact Calvin and Donovan broke into uncontrollable laughter upon seeing me did nothing to calm my nerves so I tried to use the five minutes, while Donovan tied up a few loose ends, to pull myself together, but it didn't work. As time progressed, I became one hundred percent positive things were over between us. He finally finished up and we walk to the elevator.

As Donovan pressed the ground floor button on the elevator, he asked.

"So, what have you done, so far, today?"

Ever so articulately and not at all awkwardly, I said.

"You weren't there this morning. You left."

"Yeah? What gave it away?" He gently teased.

He was beautiful. His eyes were still slightly puffy and dark (nothing too noticeable), but I was sure Donovan had probably been late for work from trying to do something about it. It was the look in his eyes that slowed my nervous heart. They were genuinely

happy

and the smirk on his face was playful. There wasn't

any

sign of nervousness or regret when he looked at me.

He was fine, we were fine, and I rolled my eyes at how ridiculous I'd been.

"Damn, you're cute as fuck!" He grabbed the fabric of my shirt with both hands and pulled me close. "You were nervous, weren't you? Were you thinking I'd hightailed it, again?"

"Pfff. No," my response partially caught in my throat.

He looked at me with one brow arched, as if to call me on my bullshit.

"Maybe," I replied, honestly. "Mornings

aren't

exactly our thing."

I regretted my words when the playful light in his eyes had disappeared. It was clear he'd taken my comment personally, though it

wasn't

how I'd intended it.

"I didn't mean—"

He interrupted me by patting my chest.

"No, you're right, it really hasn't. But I promise, this morning was innocent. It'd been a long night and I didn't want to wake you. Hell, I didn't even want to go to work, but I had to. I should've left you a note or sent you a text. I wasn't thinking."

He looked at me with the cutest puppy dog face and big pouty lips. I wondered what all he'd gotten away with by using that face. Lord knew I would've let him do anything. I smiled.

"Fine, but next time, you stay in bed."

The elevator dinged, the door opened, and we almost had to fight our way out as people rushed to reserve their spot on the elevator.

He looked over and winked.

"Yes, of course I'll be there...

naked

of course

. You can even tie me down if you want—you know, to ensure I don't

flee

."

"You'd like that, wouldn't you?"

He smiled and shrugged as he stepped out onto the sidewalk and then asked.

"Where do you want to go?"

I wasn't hungry. I'd already had breakfast with the guys. I doubted I'd be able to take another bite without being sick.

"Honestly, I just came back from breakfast with the boys, but we can go wherever you want."

There were a few food trucks a block over so I followed Donovan. We were talking about nothing important when he grabbed my hand like it was the most natural things in the world. I'd never been big on PDA and, though I doubted hand holding was considered PDA, it was still something I didn't do with any of my previous boyfriends.

My first reaction was to pull away, but the truth was, I didn't hate it. I adjusted my hand so I had a better grip as he intertwined our fingers. He had the same dopey smile I had, and that made me happy. As we stood in front of the Thai truck, he asked.

"Are you sure you're not hungry?"

I nodded my head and he ordered his plate. When he went to pay, he realized the truck only accepted cash—no cards.

He looked at me.

"Seriously? Who the hell carries cash anymore?"

As I pulled out my wallet and handed the food truck guy a ten.

"Me. I almost exclusively pay in cash, especially when dealing with a small business because it's

expensive

for them to run cards."

Donovan stuck his tongue out and walked to a vacant picnic table. I smiled as I watched him slightly sway his hips—he was no doubt putting on a show for me. He had the perfect, little, tight butt. It was round, firm, and totally fuckable. On top of that, his incredibly sexy shoulders led down to a narrow waist. More than anything, I loved how balanced he was: he had a perfect athletic body; a touch of soft and feminine; and was tall, but not too much.