This Can’t Be Happening

Thanks to everyone who continues to support me. This chapter deals with the feelings I had following the last time I was with Phillip followed by my reaction. Hopefully I've managed to do that.

I woke up late the following morning, just after 9am and my usual morning erection was beckoning attention. Then the panic set in when I remembered I was supposed to be meeting coach later, quickly followed by the raw memory of Phillip and the way he'd treated me.

It all flooded back like a tidal wave. The hatred I felt cut deep, but the surprise wasn't the way I felt about Phillip. No, it was the hatred I felt for myself. I tried to push the thoughts away. I needed to refocus and give myself time, so instead of masturbating, I got up and went about my usual morning routine.

Showered and sitting at the kitchen table with my mother over coffee and toast didn't make me feel any better.

"You came home in a bad mood last night David," she asked. "Anything I can help you with?"

She looked worried and that just added to the way I was feeling. I hated myself even more. I just told her it was because I wasn't looking forward to the meeting with coach, hoping that would be enough to put her mind at ease. It wasn't and we ended up having a discussion that I didn't really want to have. I ended it abruptly when I told her I'd made my mind up and it was more important to earn money than swim. Thankfully, she left it at that.

I really didn't want to see coach and as I made my way to the pool, I decided not to bother. Instead, I went into the woods nearby, found myself a secluded spot and sat on a fallen tree trunk, the same spot I'd been to with Lewis. It was quiet and I found it so peaceful to just sit and relax. For about an hour I closed my eyes and let the sounds of nature wash over me. My conscience got the better of me eventually and I made the decision to see if coach was still at the pool.

He was.

Devoid of any emotion, I listened to him waffle on about how it wouldn't be fair on the others if I had to miss training and midweek swim events or competitions. I nodded my head as he told me how sorry he was that he had to make the decision to ask me to leave. Always the professional, there was no mention of the fact that I'd fucked him just a few days previously. Then I shook his hand, thanked him and left.

As I pushed through the doors into to the car park I heard him calling after me, so I turned around and listened to him trying to say he was sorry how everything had turned out. "It doesn't mean we can't stay friends David," he finished.

That's exactly what it meant to me though. I should have been more grown up about it, but I wasn't. So I told him to fuck off.

Fuck him!

Fuck Phillip!

I made my way back the the spot with the fallen tree and lay down to think.

An hour or so later I'd reconciled what had happened. Yes I liked being a slut. I liked unexpected exhibitionism. I liked sucking cock and I enjoyed being fucked and fucking. I even liked being disciplined and loved the pain it brought. Submission too. Yes, I liked it all, but I didn't like what had happened with Phillip the previous night. He'd made me feel worthless. Like I meant nothing and that hurt me.

It needed fo be dealt with, so I left and walked straight to the shop. I was determined to confront him and tell him how he'd made me feel. If I was going to be a slut it would be on my terms. I deserved to be respected for it and not just used and cast aside like a dirty fucking rag.

Fuck him!

I was calm when I got there and knocked on the rear door. A minute went by without response, so I banged a little harder. Moments later the door opened and he stood there looking surprised.

"David, what are you doing here?" he asked nervously. It took a split second for me to notice, but he was definitely nervous.

"Sorry to just turn up unexpectedly Phillip," I said, trying to maintain some control. "But we need to talk. Can I come in please?"

He shifted on his feet "Erm, it"s not really a good time David. Can it wait until tomorrow?"

Fuck him!

"Not really Phillip."

So completely out of character, I pushed by and started walking up the stairs. He could fucking well forget about me stripping off too. Fuck his rules.

He shut the door and chased after me. "David," he called after me angrily. "I've told you, this isn't a good time."

He tried to grab my arm, but I pulled away and made my way into the living room. I shouldn't have been surprised, but I was. There he was, the lad whose arm he'd been touching in the shop. Stark naked and blindfolded with his arms tied behind his back and his ankles tied together. He tried to hop around but after nearly falling over, decided to stop. He had a tiny cock. Even hard it must have only been 3 inches long. Just like me, he was hairless. His balls matched his cock too. Tiny.

A tiny cock and tiny tight sack dangling beneath a large round belly and moobs that some women would be proud to have. He was so smooth though and even in my anger I felt aroused. He looked sexy as fuck. I walked around him, wanting him to know I'd seen him, making sure he could feel my breath on his body. Jesus, his arse was beautiful. Better than I'd imagined. Huge round globes of flesh that in any other circumstances, I would have buried my face in.

Phillip came in quickly behind me muttering something that I didn't hear. All those words about how lucky he felt to be with me suddenly meant nothing. All the times he'd held me and comforted me or spurred me on to explore myself with him were shattered.

I wasn't special at all. Not to him anyway. I was just another notch. Just another slut he'd probably groomed. I wondered how many he'd conned with his cock.

I really couldn't talk to him then. Not after witnessing the bound and blindfolded lad.

When I turned to face him I almost felt sorry.

"This just about says it all," I almost spat the words. "Fuck you and fuck your job."

When I got outside I felt so damned good, like a bubble of pressure had burst and set me free. No way would I ever let someone make me feel the way he had ever again.

Fuck him!

By the time I got home I'd started to have regrets though. Not about Phillip, but about the job. We needed the money and I didn't want to let my mother down, so I decided not to say anything straight away. I needed to think. The rest of the afternoon and evening I spent at home helping her around the house and getting dinner ready, then eating and watching TV. It felt good to have a normal evening with her.

My life had been anything but normal for the last couple of months.

Then in my bedroom, I had a deliriously long edging session and made myself spunk hands free into my mouth. Not about Phillip, but about the lad he'd had in his living room. His tiny cock and balls, big tits and his oversized cheeks were to me, a thing of beauty.

The next morning I woke early, showered, shaved and douched myself and was at the pool 5 minutes after opening. I'd packed my smallest and tightest trunks. I'd bought them for competitions a year or so previously, but had only worn them once because they were too small. I'd been embarrassed because they rode up between my cheeks while I swam and my pubic bush at the top had become exposed. Not only that. They were white and virtually see through when wet. I had the piss taken out of me by quite a few people, including Lewis, so they went straight back into my kit drawer never to see the light of day again. I'd always considered buying them a huge mistake.

They weren't a mistake that Monday morning though. They were bait. Nobody was in the changing area while I got undressed unfortunately. I felt great in the trunks. No concerns with pubic hair, but I did have to keep readjusting them as I walked through to the pool. There were only 2 swimmers in and just as I'd hoped, one of them was Cecil. I made a big show of walking along the side of the pool to the deep end, letting the trunks ride up between my cheeks and bending over to put my towel down.

By the time I'd turned around he'd swum the short distance across to me and was resting his arms on the side looking up at me.

"Well look who it is," he smiled up at me. "Really good to see you again David."

"Morning Cecil," I greeted him cheerily as I slipped into the water next to him.

We swam a few lengths and just as we had before, we stopped for a brief chat at the shallow end. This time there was no mistaking my erection though and I made damned sure he could see. Even below the waterline it was clear to see. My trunks were so small my cock forced them forward, making a gap large enough to see at least half of my shaft. He looked, but not obviously and smiled.

"Have you managed to find a full time job yet?" he asked and I told him I hadn't. Then we chatted about how difficult it was for young people to find employment, the weather and how he was missing sunbathing now it wasn't so sunny amongst other things. I was sure that anyone looking at us would think we were just chatting, but as we did he would occasionally glance down at my erection. I loved it. Someone who actually respected me for what I enjoyed doing. I'd forgotten how much I liked him.

We swam a few more lengths and repeated our little routine until around 8.30am. He told me he was going to get changed and I stayed in the pool to do a couple more lengths so I could deflate.

"See you in the cafe?" he asked as he climbed out and I told him I'd be there shortly.

It was slightly busier now and as soon as my erection faded I decided to get out. I didn't try to hide the fact my trunks were almost see through or that they had ridden between my cheeks as I casually made my way to the changing area. Fuck I felt good about myself. With nobody else there I got myself dried and dressed and made my way through to the cafe.

Cecil already had a coffee waiting for me, so I sat down with him and we talked. It wasn't long before he broached the subject of my trunks.

"Are those new swimming trunks you were wearing in the pool?" he asked with a broad smile. I explained they were competition trunks but hadn't worn them after the first time.

"I'm not surprised," he laughed. "They don't leave much to the imagination do they?"

I laughed with him. "That's why I stopped wearing them," I said, then added rather bravely for me. "Don't you like them? I was hoping you would Cecil"

"David, I like them very much. Your arse looked amazing," he grinned.

This was how it was meant to be. Complimented. Appreciated. Made to feel good about myself. My erection was straining in my jeans.

"I hope you'll be wearing them the next time you come swimming," he suggested with a twinkle in his eyes.

So I nodded and told him it would be a pleasure and that it was nice to be appreciated. Our flirting continued until we finished our drinks and when he invited me back to his, I accepted. The short drive back was gone in a flash as I remembered the last time I'd gone home with him.

After inviting me in and offering me the armchair opposite the sofa, he trotted off to make coffee. The living room was just as spotlessly clean as I remembered and while I was nervous, I did feel quite relaxed. He arrived back with the drinks and placed my cup on a small side table next to me and then sat on the sofa.

"I'm so glad to see you again," he began. "I was rather concerned when you didn't turn up at the pool after we last met David. I began to think I might have upset you."

I told him that he hadn't upset me at all and I'd just got caught up with life and other things, but that I'd really enjoyed myself.

"Well that's put my mind at ease at least," he smiled. "I thought maybe you'd found yourself someone else to show your lovely body off to."

I laughed. "Chance would be a fine thing Cecil. No, I haven't met anyone or anywhere I can......well you know."

God my cock was streaming. I loved the way he was building this up and flirting with me, so I relaxed back into the armchair and opened my legs. The tenting in my crotch was quite visible, getting stronger as his eyes moved down to look.

He smiled then looked back up to me. "I must say, those trunks were a very pleasant surprise."

I thanked him and blushed explaining I wasn't sure I should have worn them, but that it seemed a waste to just leave them in my drawer at home. "I'm glad you liked them."

His eyes were fixed on my groin. "Did you realise they become quite see through when they're wet?"

Fuck yes! This was what I'd missed. "Really?" I feigned ignorance and smiled. "No, I can't say I was aware of that."

"Well I could clearly see your beautiful cock and scrotum through them, so I imagine everyone else who looked could too."

My face flushed a deeper shade of red and I had to slightly adjust my position to relieve the straining of my erection. This only acted to exaggerate the tenting in my jeans.

His smiled broadened. "And I doubt you were aware that they ride up between your arse cheeks quite considerably either" he said, the innuendo obvious in his tone.

"Well I knew they were tight," I responded.

"I tell you what," he said. "Why don't you pop into the bathroom and slip them on and I can point out my observations. You know, just so you're aware."

Without waiting for me to respond, he stood up. "I'll just show you where it is."

I followed him into the hallway and grabbed my bag, then he led me upstairs to the bathroom. "My bedroom is the one at the far end David, the door will be open," he told me and grabbed a couple of towels and left me to change.

Nervous excitement caused my hands to shake as I stripped off and the pulled my trunks on. My erection was so hard I had to force it down in order to get them on, but just as it did in the pool, the waistband stretched away from my groin. It was actually obscene really and the thought that I'd been like that whilst swimming made me shudder. They were still damp and felt even smaller as I made my way to his bedroom. I felt like a slut, but in the good way. Not the way Phillip had made me feel.

Fuck Phillip!

As I entered the bedroom my trunks had already ridden between my cheeks and I could feel the air on the exposed flesh. He was sitting on a big double bed, still dressed. The bedroom itself was like the rest of his house, clean and fresh. It was surprisingly large and flooded with light from the wide double window. For the briefest of moments I contemplated whether we could be seen from outside. There were photos on the walls and on the bedside tables of what I assumed were his family and his late wife. I admit it added an extra dimension to see them as I stood there erect in my trunks

On the floor in front of him was one of the towels. "I remember how much you precum," he smiled at me and suggested I stand on it.

The atmosphere was very intimate, yet highly charged. Not knowing what to do with my hands, I clasped them behind my back watching his eyes wander over my body. Fuck, I was so hard and could feel my precum wetting the trunks as they stretched over my barely concealed helmet.

"You see how high they ride?" he said leaning forward to use his fingers to define the outline. "I suspect if you open your legs they cut in tightly underneath too."

I didn't wait for him to actually tell me to. I knew what he wanted, so I moved my feet apart. Fuck my nipples were like bullets as I looked down at him bending forwards to take a closer look. My erection was thobbing badly.

"Yes," he continued. "Just as I expected David, there's only about an inch or so of material between your balls and your arse. Can you feel how tightly they cut in underneath?"

The haze had already descended, but I instinctively knew he wanted to play this game of pretence and I liked it. "Well, now you mention it Cecil, yes I can." my voice quivered. "I hadn't noticed it until now."

"Of course," he continued his assessment. "Given they're competition trunks, they would need to be small and tight. Less material means less friction in the water?"

"Yes that's right," I responded, the trembling in my voice more pronounced. Even so, I worked to maintain the charade. "But these are smaller than I anticipated Cecil. Maybe I shouldn't have worn them this morning. It's not as if I was competing after all."

He reached up and gently cupped my balls and lifted. Like a bolt of lightning, his touch tore through me. "Well, they are very slim underneath and I can clearly see how they cut between your buttocks even from this angle," he advised me like some kind of professional outfitter. "Any smaller and I would suggest you were right, but I think you're ok to continue wearing them at the pool."

Gently lowering his hand away he took hold of my hips and turned me around. "Now David, let's see how they fit at the back."

God, this was turning into one of the most erotic experiences I'd had. I loved the overt yet subtle innuendo of the game we were playing. My precum was in full flow as I let my hands hang to the side.

"You have very well defined buttocks," he continued as he used his fingers to run along the edge of the trunks. Tracing the outline from my hips to the point where the material disappeared between my cheeks "Even though you've only walked a short distance, they are so small they've begun to ride up into the crevice. Can you feel what I mean?"

My head was swimming, but I stayed in the moment. "Yes Cecil, I think so. Do you think they've ridden up too much?"

"Hmmm," he continued, clearly loving my responses. "I'd say approximately a third of each cheek is exposed, so not too much. The size and definition of your buttocks doesn't help, but I guess all the training you have to go through is to blame for that."

I could feel his breath on my bottom so knew he must be close. Another shiver caressed my spine. "So you think they're ok for just casual swimming Cecil?"

"As it currently stands, I'd suggest they are perfectly fine David," he advised. "But if you were to bend over or squat down lets say, that might change."

I didn't need further encouragement, so I bent over from the waist and gripped my ankles, holding the position long enough to for the trunks to ride up. Then I stood up and squatted down with my knees as wide as I could spread them, before returning to stand upright. The movement had caused the trunks to ride up much higher.

"Is that what you mean Cecil?" I asked innocently. "They feel a lot different now."

His breathing was a little more erratic now and the knowledge that I was exciting him made me feel so powerful. I placed my hands on my hips and felt the soft touch of his fingers running along the newly positioned outline.

"I'd say over half of each cheek is now completely exposed David," he told me. "Possibly too much for a public pool, so would suggest you are careful when you next wear them."

Without waiting for me to reply, he used his fingers to draw the material up further until they were uncomfortable between my cheeks.

"And like this David," he said when he'd finished. "The whole of each buttock is exposed. Far too risky for a public environment, so if you ever feel then like this you should endeavour to adjust them."

His actions had caused the damp material to chafe across my anus, but I resisted the urge to move. The whole situation was utterly perfect for me. I felt special now. I felt wanted. I felt so sexy and very slutty as I played this game with Cecil and didn't flinch a muscle when his big hands gripped each cheek.

By the time he finished manipulating my arse I was teetering on the edge of cumming. He turned me back to face him and I saw him grin when he looked and my straining cock. There must have been a very large wet patch. He stood up and looked down and my groin.

"So if you look David," he suggested. "You'll notice that the strength of your erection has caused another issue you should aware of."