This Can’t Be Happening

Thanks to everyone who has read, voted, followed, commented and added as favourite. This chapter is longer than usual and includes some heterosexual references, but is only a small part.

I woke up on Sunday morning and, as had become almost habitual, the first thing I thought about was sex. I remembered I still had my own dried cum on my face. God, what was happening to me? Was there something wrong with me? Did every person have the kind of thoughts I had?

I wondered how Lewis felt when he woke up. Did he think about sex the way I did? Probably not. Certainly not about men anyway. Definitely not about sucking men off I'm sure. The thought triggered me to masturbate as I remembered his cock and his scent. I'd barely had time to look at him in detail on Friday night. Not like I had Phillip or coach anyway.

I didn't ejaculate as heavily as I often did. More an act of necessity than pleasure, but fulfilling enough.

I showered, had breakfast with my mother and set off for swimming. I was nervous. It would be the first time I'd seen coach since his phone call and I had to face Lewis too. It felt like I had a lot to deal with.

I'd tried hard not to think about coach. The events with Phillip and Lewis had certainly kept my mind otherwise occupied, but I would have to face him today. I decided I'd act as if it meant nothing to me, to be as normal as I could be.

Fortunately, Lewis wasn't any different to me than usual. No signs of regret or of expectation. Just normal. I was pleased about that.

Coach was different though. Colder than usual. More professional. No warmth at all. He seemed to go out of his way not to talk to me unless he had to. I didn't like that. I thought we might have had something special, but it seemed he didn't feel the same way.

I didn't look at any of others when we changed or showered. I managed to get through the morning with no accidental displays. I actually felt good about the way I had dealt with, what I expected to be, a difficult training session.

As I made my way out to leave, Lewis caught me at the exit, so we left together.

"Listen Dave," he said seriously. "We should have a chat."

The pool was sited within a large public park. It was the town's municipal park, with childrens play areas, 9 hole golf course, a couple of tennis courts and public gardens. There were plenty of wooded areas that surrounded the whole thing. He suggested we find somewhere quiet to sit and talk, so we found a secluded spot in some of the woodland.

I thought I knew what was coming as we sat on the trunk of a fallen tree. I waited for the inevitable.

"So a lot happened on Friday," he began. He was never one for beating around the bush too much. He usually got on with what he wanted to say. It was one of the things I liked about him.

"I won't lie," he continued. "I was a bit disappointed to learn from Phillip what you'd been up to. I thought we were best mates. I thought we shared everything." He looked disappointed too and I began to speak, but he cut me short.

"Let me finish first," he said. "Like I was saying, I thought we shared everything, but I get it. I've thought about it a lot since Friday and I guess I understand why you wouldn't have told me."

I looked at him. I wanted to speak, but he'd asked me to wait.

"What I saw you doing with Phillip should have disgusted me Dave," he said. "But the truth is, it didn't. I don't know why it did, but it turned me on. It was kind of like, seeing you so turned on, turned me on."

I wasn't expecting that. Not at all.

"Then you told me about what you'd been doing with him and how it made you feel and I kind of get that too," he continued. "Did you mean it when you said you were sucking his prick like that just for me?"

I nodded my head and explained that initially it wasn't about that. I tried to tell him how I'd felt, the exposure and the humiliation. That I didn't even realise I was getting undressed at first. I told him it was like going into a trance when it happened. That the desire for exhibitionism and subsequent humiliation overtakes me completely and the thought of any consequences disappears.

Then, instead of seeing him disgusted, I saw him rubbing his crotch and it became a special moment for me. Like I was baring my soul to him and that he was sharing the moment with me.

I could see him thinking. Trying to get his head around what I was saying. I continued by explaining that with Phillip and the other men, it was purely sexual. They didn't know me like him, so for him to see that part of me was much more meaningful.

"We've shared everything so far Lewis," I told him. "It would mean so much if I could continue to share this with you."

I meant it too. My cock hardened as I spoke the words. I wasn't about to push him. If it happened then it had to be his decision.

"I guess we'll have to work on how we do it then," he stated. "Just as long as you realise I'm not gay."

I promised I would never think that and thanked him for being such a good friend. Then I suggested he could always talk with Phillip if he needed to. He agreed that it might be a good idea. I told him I didn't want him to feel pressured into anything.

"Truth is," he smiled. "I can't stop thinking about how you sucked me off."

It was music to my ears. My erection began to throb. Inwardly jumping with excitement, I tried desperately to hide it, so I just smiled and told him to that nothing had changed that much. "We could just look at it like mates helping each other out," I said.

"Yeah," he replied. "I think I can do that if you can."

That's how we left it that day. We both headed off home.

I had lunch with my mother. Then went up to my room and masturbated. Thoughts and fantasies of my new evolving friendship with Lewis filled my head. I hoped he could see it as a good thing. He obviously had an issue thinking it might be gay. So I tried to think of ways to make sure he would be comfortable. To be honest I struggled. I decided to try and stick with what we'd agreed. Just mates helping each other out.

At least it took my mind off coach.

I masturbated 3 more times that evening. I began practicing on hands free cumming more but only managed it once. I was becoming obsessed with cock. Almost like I needed a fix of it daily. It wasn't enough to have fun whenever I saw Phillip. I knew swimming club was off limits too, so I planned to do what I'd told Lewis I'd done when I lied to him. I decided to go swimming early, when the pool opened to the public. Just to see if there were any possibilities.

I arrived on Monday morning bang on opening time. Only a couple of people were there. Both older men, probably retired at a guess. They seemed to know each other because they chatted while we all got changed.

I was very nervous. It should have been just swimming. A normal thing, but to me it wasn't. I tried to see if they looked at me as I got naked before putting my trunks on, but it didn't seem like either took any notice. So I made my way to the pool and began doing a few lengths.

The older men got in but took no notice of me, staying away on the other side. What was I thinking? How stupid I was. Is this what I'd become? I felt shame as I swam and wondered whether I was doing the right thing. What a slut! So desperate to show myself off I was willing to do this. After about 20 minutes a few more people had arrived. A couple of older ladies and another 3 or 4 men.

All seemed to be retired. I shouldn't have expected anything else really on a weekday morning. At some point I was broken from my swim by one of the other swimmers saying hello. He must have been in his 70's but still had a full head of silver hair. He was very tanned too and wrinkled heavily on his face.

We were at the shallow end of the pool so I stopped and said hello and he began to chat. Nothing unusual. I barely remember what about. He was interested in how I wasn't at work so I explained I was struggling to find a job. He understood saying how times were hard for youngsters.

We chatted for a little while longer, then I went back to swimming. When he got out of the pool, I noticed he was quite portly. My slang for having a large belly. He was very tall though, probably around 6'4" or so. In fact he was pretty broad too. He was wearing red trunks. I tried not to look, but I failed, using my swimming strokes to hide my face as I swam. It looked like he had a large bulge, but I couldn't be sure without staring.

He left the pool and for a few moments I toyed with the idea of doing the same. Perhaps I would see him in the changing area and let him see me. I bottled out though.

When I did leave there was nobody in the changing area. I was kind of glad, but also disappointed. The whole reason I'd done this was to feel exposed but perhaps I was just being silly. It was one thing to fantasise, but the reality was very different. I had to remind myself that not all men were like Phillip or me.

I decided to get a coffee from the cafe and the man who'd talked to me was in there too. He said hello again and told me his name was Cecil. I introduced myself and we talked again as we drank our drinks. It was all very normal.

I learned he went swimming most mornings to keep himself fit and to socialise. He was a pleasant man and I assumed he was only chatting because he was lonely or something. Like most older people do, he told me his age. He was 71. Anyway, we finished our drinks and I left.

When I got home I masturbated about him. Making up a fantasy of him looking at me in the changing area and sucking him off. I managed to cum hands free as I pinched my nipples trying to remember if the bulge was as big as I had thought.

Afterwards, I thought about what he'd said. Was he just being friendly when he told me he went everyday, or was it something else? Again, I had to remind myself that not all men were like that.

The rest of my day was pretty dull save for my now regular masturbating.

In bed I wondered if I should continue with the idea of early morning swimming. It was pretty risky really, but that also excited me. Plus I'd at least chatted to Cecil and he'd provided me the excuse to fantasise. I decided to go again but I had to be careful.

It was a similar story the next day. Older retired people who swam to keep themselves fit and meet friends. Nobody took much notice of me. Then I saw Cecil arrive and get in at the shallow end of the pool.

I actually started to feel very nervous. My mind questioning whether he would talk to me again. Would he realise why I was there? Probably not. I was being silly, but as I reached the shallow part if the pool he called my name and said hello.

i stopped swimming and stood talking to him again. He said it was nice to see me again and I responded with likewise. This time he swam with me for a while, occasionally stopping to take a rest and chat. Again, it was all above board and very normal. Well at least it was for him. Each time we stopped I would get an erection, fortunately hidden beneath the water.

After a while he told me he was leaving to get changed. I swear I blushed when he did. I came very close to doing the same, but stopped myself and told him I wanted to do a couple more lengths first. I needed to anyway because I had an erection.

I got changed alone and went to the cafe to get a coffee and he was there. We talked more that day. He was a widower having lost his wife 2 years previously. He'd been lonely for while but had recently started to get out again and meet new friends and get his life back together.

I felt sorry for him. He seemed to be a nice man and had obviously suffered when his wife had passed. It must have been a difficult time for him. So we chatted and he even bought me another coffee, pleased to have company I guess. God I was being stupid thinking he was anything other than a nice guy who just wanted to chat. I felt shame thinking about him sexually. The thing was, it didn't stop me getting an erection as we sat talking.

We said our goodbyes and when home, I went through the same thing again. Practicing my hands free cumming as I thought about him. Slightly darker thoughts this time. I ejaculated hard and managed to splash my face. I was starting to enjoy that sensation, deciding that I'd do it more often and trying out different positions on my bed in order to aim my cock at my face. Yes, the next time I masturbated I'd make sure I got it all on my face.

The next day I got to the pool at opening time and Cecil was already there waiting. We were the only people there. He seemed really pleased to see me too, telling me he always got there early on Wednesdays because it was usually pretty quiet. "It'll be nice to have some company David," he said with a smile.

I felt like I was visibly shaking when we got to the changing area. I was terrified and I fumbled around trying not to get undressed in front of him. I already had an erection and the implications of him seeing were too much for me. I couldn't even look at him, even though he chatted away like everything was normal.

I couldn't let him see me with an erection and I knew it would seem stupid if I didn't get undressed and into my trunks, so I stood facing my locker. That way he would only see my buttocks if he looked.

I barely understood his words as I quickly got my trunks on. Yes, this is why I'd started early morning swimming but now, faced with the reality, I was terrified. He was such a nice man and I felt guilty. Like I was using him for my own selfish needs. It wasn't right. My erection just wouldn't go away either. I had to turn around to face him at some point and I began to panic inside.

"Are you coming David?" I heard him say. I thought he was making his way to the pool so turned around, thinking if I followed him I could get into the water before he saw me. However, he was stood facing me in his red trunks. He noticed immediately and I blushed. In fact my whole body felt like it was blushing. I looked down, hoping my erection wasn't visible. How fucking stupid! Of course it was visible. The front of my trunks fully tented and the action of me looking just drew his attention even more.

It seemed like an eternity as he looked at me looking down at my trunks. I couldn't look up, my shame filled me so deeply and that did what it always did, made me even harder. So hard in fact, that the waistband of my trunks pulled away from my skin. I could actually see the base of my cock.

"Perhaps we should get to the pool David," he said as he recognised my embarrassment. His words broke the moment and reality set in, so I followed him out and quickly got into the water.

I swam a few lengths, the need to hide my embarrassment was very real. Mainly because I thought Cecil wasn't interested and also my guilt about using him. Thankfully he made no mention of my erection and we swam and talked like we had the previous 2 days, but it still didn't stop me getting hard when we rested to talk.

As the hour went by a few other people arrived. The usual mix of mainly older men and a couple of older ladies. I should have felt out of place being so much younger, but I didn't. Being in water always made me feel comfortable.

We were standing at the shallow end chatting. Cecil was easy to talk to and rarely seemed stuck for a subject. A man approached us and said good morning to Cecil, he responded with a smile and it quickly became apparent they knew each other.

"John, this is David," Cecil said as he introduced us. "David, this is John. We worked together for, oh, 30 years?"

John nodded his head adding they both retired on the same day. They made a few light hearted remarks about how long they'd known each other and entered into a brief conversation about what each had been doing recently.

I didn't really listen. I guessed they must be the same age if they had retired on the same day. John wasn't as tall as either Cecil or me, around 5'6" and he was pretty thin, skinny even. He was similarly tanned though. I assumed that they both had time to sunbathe now they no longer had to work. He was also silver haired but only around the sides and back, any hair on top had long since disappeared. He was wearing black trunks.

I tried to concentrate on making my erection fade, but failed, glad that the water hid it somewhat.

I was still taking in the newcomer when I heard Cecil saying that he'd met me a couple of days ago and we'd hit it off straight away. "David's a lovely young man," he was saying. "Not like most of the youngsters these days," he smiled at me. I reciprocated and said something stupid like I my mother had taught me to always be polite and I enjoyed the company of older people.

Shit! What a stupid thing to say. I excused myself and swam a few lengths to give them time to catch up and get rid of my hard on.

I watched them talking and then they swam for a while before Cecil told me they were leaving and said he hoped to see me for our "usual" coffee in the cafe.

I watched them leave but tried not to think of anything sexual. What has started as a ruse for my fetish had changed. I couldn't stop the thought that I was misleading him.

I did a couple of lengths, got dressed and went to the cafe. Cecil and John were seated at a table talking.

"Here he is," Cecil looked at me. "I've already got you a coffee David," he said as I walked to them.

So we sat and chatted for the next hour or so. It was easy to talk to them. They were clearly good friends and both seemed interested in my life and especially my competition swimming. I learned that John was married and he met up with Cecil on Wednesday and Friday mornings to swim and chat. That along with drinks in the evenings and they even shared holidays abroad in Spain.

By the time I left I had almost forgotten what Cecil had seen when we changed that morning.

Of course I masturbated as soon as I got home. My hands free climax was easy to achieve too. The fact he'd seen me erect and the addition of John inspired my fantasies as I imagined how Cecil felt about seeing my cock pushing against my trunks. Perhaps telling John what he'd witnessed and them both talking about me. Maybe even planning how they would get their cocks in my mouth. Oh fuck I was so turned on. I positioned myself with my bottom against the bedroom wall and my legs above my head. It meant I got the full force of my ejaculation on my face. I even opened my mouth so some squirted directly inside.

I liked it. I loved it, in fact. I made the decision not to do it every time I masturbated though. To keep it special.

I shaved that afternoon ready for swimming. I still had reservations after Sunday. The way coach had been with me and I'd had to concentrate really hard to avoid seeing Lewis naked. Instead of being something I enjoyed purely for swimming, it had now become something I almost feared.

When I arrived I was extremely nervous. I just couldn't get everything out of my mind. My body was out of control and I got an erection as soon as I was naked. I had my back to the others, so they didn't see, but it wouldn't go away. I pulled my trunks on and just stood facing my locker. Everyone left to get into the pool, but I couldn't move.

A couple of minutes later coach came back and asked me what was wrong. I couldn't speak. He came over and when he saw me he understood. I expected him to be angry. He'd been so cold towards me on Sunday. I started to cry, telling him I was so sorry.

Instead of anger, he surprised me by saying it was his fault and we should talk things over. He said he was the one who should be sorry, but obviously I couldn't join the others like that. He suggested I get dressed and get a coffee and we could talk after practice finished.

So that's what I did. The hour passed quickly as I sat there. I didn't know what I'd say or what he told the others.