When doing my weekly constitutional in the borough gym I could not help but notice this guy on the hand bar, gazing at me like he knew me or something. Perhaps he did but I had no recollection ever of meeting him.
His stare was daunting and magnetic, I felt myself responding and staring back at him and he just grinned and waved to me.
Then he came over to me as I struggled with the walking frame, the preservation pouring out of me.
I made up my mind at the beginning of the year that I would stick to my New Year's resolution to get back into the shape I was just five years back, when I was eighteen.
Not that my slight bulge seemed to worry the bachelor girls in the office who continue to flirt unashamedly with me. I heard on the quiet that they are having a bet as to who dates me first.
Once bitten twice shy is my motto after a very disastrous affair with a girl called Janice. Talk about passion out of control. It seemed like she could never keep her hands away from my dick and crashed my mind about the feminine sex wanting romance primarily. There was me thinking that a trip to the cinema, being my first date with her, would be nice and we would see how it went from there.
But was I old fashioned or what? This girl was besotted by sex and getting her fill, even in the back row of the cinema which I found most intrusive. Okay so I went with the French kissing which seemed to become more passionate when Jonny Depp appeared on the screen.
"I think he is so sexy and adorable" she whispered, her tongue messing with mine. "But you are too Pete. I am so glad you asked me out for a date.
(Which wasn't quite true, one of the office girls, I found out later, told her I was too shy to ask her for a date so she simply approached me and asked where we were going that night?)
But, I was in her clutches then in the cinema and no mistake. I decided just to let her have her pleasure and submit to her passion. She was obviously having a good time beneath my belt and I felt so embarrassed when she unfastened my trouser zip, pulled my appendage out and promptly put it into her mouth. Okay the feeling was good, it was sort of soothing I guess but nothing that really turned me on, like I wanted to go further with her later or anything like that.
I did feel sort of sorry for her when, after the cinema, she invited me home and said I could stay over if I liked. I sort of got out of it by saying I am not a one night slander and left it at that. But she did not let it go there;
"I didn't mean that, what you take me for. I am not that kind of girl!"
She was shouting and was very angry.
"Nothing personal" I offered calmly. It is just that I like to take time that's all and with that she jumped out of the passenger seat and slammed the car door behind her, yelling something about I was a dick-head and I had blown it and some other nasty amazing accusations that I was gay or something.
Truth is I never fancied her anyway. Truth is I didn't fancy any of the other girls in the call centre office either. The whole truth is I don't fancy girls that way period!
I guess Janice did do me a favour though. She made me aware of my sexuality. Secretly I knew I had a yearning for well-shaped guys I had seen working out in the gym. And I did imagine once or twice what it would be like working out sexually with a guy.
But that was as far as it went the idea of actually approaching a guy on that level seemed abhorrent to me. I don't know why. Just the way I was brought up I guess that being homosexual was unnatural.
I guess the only way I would get involved with another guy that was by invitation. But I knew I was particular and would not submit to just anyone, like this old guy who tapped me on the shoulder in a public lieu and murmured something about wanking me off.
That put me in a state of confusion for a while, thinking was I really gay or what? But of course, and reading about homosexuality, I learned that finding the right mate is as natural as any prospective relationship - that the crude 'toilet bashing' syndrome relates generally to those who cannot get it any other way, and are content to let a complete stranger wank them off, or suchlike. Just for the kicks.
I eventually worked it out and hoped somehow that special guy would appear in my life and take me by storm, and no more messing with anal vibrators which I had purchased online. They were fun and to be honest I did become possessive discovering different ways and positions in which I could get the best satisfaction. It seems crazy now that I spent many hours of sheer bliss with a bulbous dildo stuck up my anus, feeling the sensual movement inside me as I walked about. And also seeing myself fuck my hole in a specially positioned manner , as I laid sideways on the carpet and presented myself for a long and lovely gratifying sexual extravaganza.