It was the summer after high school. I had been accepted into college, had an ROTC scholarship and was excited about the things that lay ahead. High school had been a time for coming into my own, but at 18 I still hadn't come to understand my sexuality as a gay man. I was fit from having swam and played water polo the last 4 years and at 6'1" and 160lbs, had a lean and toned build. My job involved working outside at a state park and despite wearing copious amounts of sunscreen, I had a glowing golden tan. My time was spent working, thinking about the future, hanging with friends who would also soon be leaving and relaxing at home.
It was a small town, under 10,000 people up in the mountains near Salt Lake City. The health teacher, Mrs. M as we called her, lived down the street and was often in her yard tending to the grass or flowers. On a walk one day I noticed her in her yard and stopped when she waived and said hello. She asked me about my future plans and asked how I was spending my summer.
"Just hanging out and working, trying to save some extra cash for the coming year at college," I said.
She paused for a moment recalling something and said, "Oh hey, Mr. Schaffer was actually looking for some help moving stuff out of his house. He asked me if I knew anyone that would be able to and offered $100 for a day, I think he is looking for this coming Wednesday... do you want me to give him your number?"
Already having a job and not wanting to give up any free time I wasn't too thrilled at the prospect, but $100 was a lot of cash, and I really liked Mr. Schaffer, my former PE teacher.
"Sure," I replied and Mrs. M took down my number
Later that evening Mr. Schaffer called my house. We exchanged some small talk and locked down the details of the job. Being a small town pretty much everyone knew what was going on in each others lives. Mr. Schaffer had recently finalized a divorce and was moving out of his house as they just sold it as part of the agreement. He seemed like he had a lot of stressful things going on in his life and I was happy I would be able to help him out.
Wednesday rolled around and I showed up to his place about 8am and saw he had already moved quite a few boxes onto the front porch.
"Hey Alex!" he shouted deeply as he waived and walked out to shake my hand.
"I really appreciate you coming by to help me," he said while squeezing my hand the way you could imagine a gym rat gym teacher would. "The people who bought the place want to move in two weeks and I've got way too much to do still," he said.
"No problem," I said, "happy to help."
We spent the morning picking up a moving truck and loading already-packed boxes and some furniture into it. We were moving fast but it hardly felt like work. Mr. Schaffer was pretty funny and cut loose even more now that I wasn't his student. It had been about 2 years since I had a class with him, as the school allowed you to substitute playing on a sports team for gym credit your last couple of years.
He was the stereotype of a PE teacher and his style was a bit of a throwback. He had curly thick hair that was cut in what I can best describe as something akin to a mullet. He was about 6 feet tall with a solid build, lean but much more muscly than myself at the time. I thought he was cool because he looked athletic and had a confident presence. His eyes were almost always opened wide, excited and eager and at times he was too intense...which apparently carried over to his temper as he got in trouble for grabbing a smartass student by the collar once.
As I watched him move those heavy boxes I noticed the veins and moderate coat of hair on his arms. He had a torn up t-shirt made into what resembled a tank top on and you could clearly see he had quite a bit of chest hair that extended to his collar bones. I found it odd when I caught myself gawking at this but went back to hauling boxes without too much reflection, settling on the theory he had the muscles I wanted and I was just admiring them.
By noon Mr. Schaffer and I had finished loading the moving truck. We took a lunch break and hopped in his pickup to grab some sandwiches at the local shop. When we got back to the house he asked me how many days I was able to come by.
"Oh I thought you only needed me today. What are you thinking you'll need," I asked.
"Well, I have to unload the truck into a storage unit and have a few projects to take care of around the house I can use help with. Maybe the next 4 days, would you be free?" he asked.
"I work the next couple days in the morning, but could come by after noon," I replied.
"Great, Ill give you a hundred each time, 5-6 hrs max a day," he said.
I wasn't excited at the prospect of hard work after my other job, but something about being around Mr. Schaffer was exciting, and a 100 bucks for a half days job?! Awesome!
"Sound good to me Mr. Schaffer!" I said excitedly.
"Just call me John, I haven't been your teacher in years man," he countered, then motioned with his hand for me to follow him to another room with some boxes that needed to be moved.
Over the course of the next week I continued to go over to help John. Something was different about it though. There were parts of myself that I kept suppressed in the past (like staring too long at guys) that I didn't seem to be as concerned with now. Maybe having graduated and lined up some stuff for the future gave me a bit of confidence boost and I just didn't care as much with what other people thought I was doing? I couldn't put my finger on my motivations or my shift in perspective but I knew I was liking it.
As the week progressed we worked, laughed and joked. I think he was enjoying having some company and a distraction around after the bummer that was his divorce. I was enjoying going over more each day in a way I didn't understand. He was turning into a bit of a mentor but still felt young spirited enough I could joke and relate to him. I would feel almost giddy when I would get a smile out of him. Even stranger as we worked in the heat and got sweaty, my heart raced at the scent he put off. It wasn't nasty like B.O, but rather the smell of someone who recently showered and then sweat right after- just purely him. I didn't understand it but I knew I wanted to be around him.
By the end of the week we started to roughhouse a bit. I would say some stupid cocky line and he'd playfully pushed me. I'd respond with an 'aw hell no' and jump on him trying to take him down, that kind of thing. The very first time I leaped on him I felt the firmness of his back on my chest and froze in surprise at the sensation. He only saw in this an opportunity to grab and flip me, wrestling me to the ground. Now I was pinned underneath him, even more unable to process what things my brain was working out. I think he picked up on something being slightly off and paused for just a moment himself before playfully slapping me in the face in what seemed like an effort to circumvent the awkward moment.
"Remember who's the boss, bitch," he teased playfully as he flexed his muscles.
I laughed, feeling more comfortable he was either oblivious to what was going on in my mind or just not acknowledging it to spare me any embarrassment.
We eventually finished up the last of the projects he had with the house on the fourth day and we stood there in what seemed a bit of an empty moment, knowing there wouldn't be more to do together tomorrow. It was a feeling kind of like the melancholy of a Sunday before work, mixed with a sense of missing him even though he was standing right there. I was sad that John, 18 years my senior at 36, probably wouldn't think of hanging out with me outside of needing work done. Why would a guy that taught me PE want to spend free time with me?
Just then John said "Hey, Im not looking for a place to buy until next year, lost too much in the divorce. Im going to stay at a friends when school starts back up again, but in the meantime I'm planning to get out of town to travel and camp a bit, hike, bike etc. You were really athletic from what I remember in class and I think you like those sorts of things. I'll be heading up to this lake way back in the Uintas this weekend, You up for it?"
"Yeah that sounds chill," I replied.
My response may have been muted but inside I was feeling very excited which again, I didn't quite understand. I told myself it was because camping and hiking with my new found friend of sorts sounded like an awesome time, but that didn't feel like the whole story.
"Awesome. I have all the gear, if you have a sleeping bag thats all you'll need," he said.
"Yeah I got a bag," I responded.
"Im going to load my pickup Friday evening, be over around 9am and we will roll out then, sound good?" he asked as he furrowed his brow.