It's my first year of grad school and I've signed up to be a Residence Advisor, an "RA." Basically, I get to stay in residence for free in return for resolving disputes, offering advice, and coordinating events. I can see how taking care of a bunch of freshmen would get hectic, but my floor's just for graduate students and it's mainly a bunch of single-person suites with people in their mid-twenties like me. Not too many disputes to resolve. Anyways, one of my duties at the start of the semester is to check in with all the new residents, make sure they're settling in okay, invite them to chat if anything's on their mind. It all goes well until I make a real idiot out of myself talking to Mark, the guy in the room across the hall.
He's one of those guys that practically seems to reach into your chest and squeeze your heart when they grin, with a powerful jawline, short black hair that won't lie flat, dark smiling eyes, and light brown skin. But it's impossible to keep my eyes from following the sloping lines of his broad neck down to his massively pumped up body—great slabs of pecs, biceps riddled with veins bulging out below the stretched arms of his T-shirt, which also clings tight enough to his abs to let me see every—
"My eyes are up here, you know."
"Huh?" Oh fuck, he totally caught that. My face instantly starts burning up. "Right, sorry. Sorry. I was staring, I admit it. That was totally rude of me. I've never seen—I mean, your body's—"
He chuckles, and I'm relieved to see he's not at all offended. "I'll take it as a compliment," he says. "When you spend as much time as I do in the gym, you expect some stares." And thankfully that's an opening to get back to the comfort of my spiel with the whole "Let me tell you about the hours for the exercise room" thing, feeling the blood thud through my ears and my heart pound. I manage to get out everything I need to say, stumbling when I reach the usual line about always being available if he needs to talk. That makes me feel like a real moron; as if he'd come to the guy who was ogling him for advice.
Over the next few weeks I can't help bumping into him occasionally, being across the hall. Having embarrassed myself so much, though, I quickly rush past with just a quick greeting. Maybe I'm coming across as cold, but I think it's necessary to overcorrect. I crossed a line the first time I talked with him, so I'd better step well back. If he'd gotten the impression I was trying to flirt with him and reported it, I would've lost my position. I'm just a student like him, but there are rules nonetheless.
About a month into the semester I'm returning pretty late in the evening. I've got my key in the lock when I hear Mark's door open behind me and the friendly rumble of his voice: "Hey, you're back!" He actually sounds HAPPY about it. I know he's just being friendly like usual, but it makes my heart start throbbing uncomfortably at once. To hear that man sound happy to see ME. And it only gets worse when he continues, "You said we could chat sometime, right? I was just sitting here and I thought..."
"O-Of course! I mean, uh, that's what I'm here for!" I manage to blurt out, before accidentally re-locking my door, unlocking it again, trying to pull it open even though I've been living here for HOW long, and then finally pushing my way inside. Soon I'm in a chair across from Mark where he's practically crushing my couch. I can't help noticing his dark blue T-shirt shows off the massive bulges of his muscular body to perfection, and his sweatpants stretch across his broad thighs.
"I just wanted to make sure everything was okay," he starts off, and my stomach gives a sickening drop. "I've noticed you kind of rush away when I see you—but maybe you're just busy? I wanted to make sure it wasn't me, anyways."
"No! No, you did nothing wrong!" I rush to tell him, utterly mortified that I've let my own issues make him feel bad.
"Great, that's a relief," he says, rubbing one hand self-consciously up the bristly hair on the back of his head. The underside of his herculean arm flares widely. "It's just, sometimes people are pretty intimidated by me, but they shouldn't be. If they just got a chance to talk with me, find out why I look the way I do..."
He seems kind of embarrassed, so I rush to assure him, "I'd love to talk with you about whatever you want. Anything that's bothering you. It's what I'm here for, but even beyond that, I'd be happy to get to know you. I mean," quickly rushing to cover up the fact that I almost said too much, "why don't you tell me? What you were talking about. Uh, why you look the way you do."
"You mean that?" He grins, making my stomach ache. But I can be professional and remember my role and the fact that it's impossible for anything to happen between us anyways. He continues, "So it started in high school. There were all these rumours, snide comments about me, saying I was gay. I mean, when I was too young to even know who I was into. It's just fucked up, you know? People making comments about you 'cause they think you're gay, when you don't even know if you are. I had this dumb thought, if I start working out, nobody'll think that. Nobody'd think a guy with muscle's queer. I was young at the time, okay. That's just how I saw it. And the thing is, it worked for the most part. The way people think is pretty shitty sometimes, hey? But anyways, it was addicting. I liked working out, I liked feeling strong and confident and not feeling intimidated anymore.
"I escaped the rumours and insults, but the really screwed up thing was that I was still just kind of running away. From the things they'd been saying about me, I mean. And to be honest, I was starting to wonder too. You probably won't believe this, but I didn't have the hots for anyone till I got into college. I mean, there were signs, but I saw my friends get obsessed over girls and I never felt that way about anyone—male or female. There were girls that approached me, but I always found some excuse, so they eventually stopped bothering. The old rumours were probably still there, but nobody had the guts to talk about it to my face."
"But since then, you've—I mean, you understand yourself better now, right? What you want."
"Oh, I know what I want now. At least, I dated a couple of girls after starting college and I thought I knew what I wanted. Until there was this... But you don't want to hear about that. It's pretty graphic. I shouldn't tell you that."
I'm no psychiatrist, but I think the operative word there is "shouldn't." Implying that he wouldn't mind talking about it, but he's afraid it's inappropriate. "Seriously, you can tell me anything."
He grins nervously, glancing away. "Look, I'm talking real fucking triple-X stuff here, okay? I can't just talk about it with anyone. ...I mean, I'd kind of like to 'cause it's been bothering me, but it's not appropriate. It'd probably gross you out."
I'm really curious now, but my main concern is that I can see the nervousness and the desire to talk in him. I rush to reassure him. "You aren't going to talk about anything I haven't heard before. You definitely won't gross me out. So come on, if it's really bothering you that much, you'd better just get it over with and tell me."
"Hmm, well..." he makes eye contact with me and he sees that I'm being serious, so he relents. "Alright. But feel free to stop me anytime. It's like this. I was at this club one day, and there was this guy..." My heart leaps into my throat and I almost choke, but luckily I think I manage to prevent him from noticing. "I don't know who he was, but there was this instant tug between us. I hadn't felt that with a guy before. I mean, I'd jerked off with a buddy but that was about it. It was a sort of take-it-or-leave-it thing. But this... fuck, I was shocked by how strong it was. I mean, I got hard just making eye contact with him. And he was clearly into me too. After less than a minute I've got him feeling my chest, my arms—I can tell he's one of those guys that're totally into my body. And I'm feeling him up too and—fuck, we both can't stand it anymore—"
He's starting to get into the story, almost like he isn't even aware of me. "So I take him into the bathroom, lock us in a stall and he unbuttons my shirt, gets down on his knees, undoes my zipper, takes out my cock. You know the drill. I'm hard and leaking all over the place and he's on his knees with his lips wrapped around my dick, sucking so his cheeks are goin' hollow, lookin' up at me to see how I react, feeling my abs and reaching around to grab my ass while I face-fuck him. It feels fucking amazing and—"
He pauses. "Sorry, this is going too far, right? I shouldn't be talking about this with you. I knew it'd gross you out."
I clear my throat awkwardly, barely able to breathe in the midst of a dilemma. It's true that it's inappropriate for him to talk about this sort of thing with me, but guys talk about this stuff all the time anyways with their friends, right? So I say, "It's nothing I haven't heard before. P-please, continue. Speak however you want. I'm totally comfortable with it." To be honest, though, I'm starting to sweat and I can't help picturing this gorgeous muscleman with his shirt open, cock out, thrusting his hips as he gets sucked off by another hot stud. This is getting bad. I can feel my dick getting warm in my boxers, thickening and rising between my legs. It's about to start bulging obscenely right in front of him if I can't get things under control.
"Okay, cool. So I'm well on the way to bustin' my nut when he reaches down and takes out the biggest fucking cock I've ever seen. Just yanks this fucking python out of his pants and starts jerking it off. And I don't know what came over me. I hadn't felt like this before, but I had this intense need to taste him in my mouth. And just thinking about it, the fact that I was so horny that I even wanted to suck this guy's cock, almost drove me over the edge. There was no way I wanted to cum yet, though, because I knew that feeling would go away. I wouldn't want to do it anymore. I'd miss my chance—and who knows when I'd see a cock like that again."
I'm getting a raging hard-on here so I have no choice but to cross my legs. My cock rises to the left, poking up above my thigh, pressed against the thin material of my nice new slacks. But at least my crossed leg's in front of it, blocking his view of my rising bulge. The move must've been a little too conspicuous, though, because his eyes drop straight down to my crotch. Then: "I'm making you hard, aren't I?"
"W-What?" Shit! "No. N-no, I—"