The Spot on the Bridge

Tom and Ben had now been dating for four months. They had settled into a routine of spending two or three nights together during the week and the entire weekend. Despite the age difference, they never had a difficult time finding things to discuss, movies to watch, or ways to pass the time—including a lot of fucking. Ben matched Tom's voracious sexual appetite and the two had an intense—almost spiritual—compatibility. Ben was working now and felt good about occasionally paying for things; Tom let him because he knew it was important for Ben, even though he didn't need him to financially. They spent time with friends and Tom had even introduced Ben to his sister Annie—his best friend—and nephew Phillip.

It was fall and the weather was starting to turn. Tom was having a lousy week. A case he was leading refused to settle and would likely go to trial. One of the women at the firm he had been grooming as a partner and who he had hoped would take some of his case load was appointed to an open state senate seat and needed to resign. He was having a hard time sleeping and was getting rather irritable, both at work and, for the first time with Ben.

It was Thursday night and Ben was coming over for dinner. Tom had ordered in from their favorite Thai place and was looking forward to a quiet night at home. He had walked Muffin and was setting the table when Ben called.

"Hey baby," he said on the phone.

There was a lot of static in the background. "Hi Tom," Ben replied. I'm on my way, but there has been a car accident up ahead. The traffic isn't moving. I'll be there as soon as I can, but we seem to be at a standstill."

Tom was irritated, but he knew it wasn't Ben's fault. Still, he was hungry and crabby. "Ok," he signed. "Drive safely and get her as soon as you can."

"Will do, Sir," Ben said, hoping the Sir would bring a smile to Tom's face.

But Tom didn't have it in him to smile. He was just... grumpy. After 45 minutes of cleaning his loft and answering a few work emails, his stomach was grumbling and he was annoyed. He called Ben's cell phone, but it immediately went to voicemail.

"Damn it," he said as he hung up without leaving a message. Instead of eating—which he knew he should do—he just stewed in his irritation and poured himself a whiskey.

Ben called a few minutes later, but Tom did not pick up because he was in the bathroom. "Sorry Tom, traffic is still bad, but it's started moving. I'll be there in about 10 minutes. I'm sorry I'm late. I'll make it up to you..." he said coyly at the end.

Tom decided maybe a shower would help his mood, so he got into the shower and turned on the hot water. After a few minutes, he got out, still irritable.

Ben was buzzing the door and Tom let him in. Ben bounded up the stairs to find Tom in his robe, looking sexy but irritated. Ben put down his briefcase, said hello to Muffin who was eager to see him and walked over to Tom, who was seated in his chair staring out the window at the rain.

"Hi honey," Ben said as he leaned down and moved in to kiss Tom. Tom was stiff and didn't respond to Ben's affection. "I'm sorry I was late," he said, rubbing his hand along the older man's chest.

Tom got up, almost pushing Ben away.

"The food is cold. I'll warm it up in the microwave," he said, not even looking at Ben.

Ben was startled... in their four months together, they hadn't had even an argument. He wasn't sure what was going on.

"Tom, is everything ok?" He asked quietly.

Tom looked at him and was pissed he was late. "You could have left work on time, Ben," he snapped.

Ben was confused and taken aback. "I left 10 minutes late because I was finishing a project for my boss, Tom. There was an accident. I'm sorry," he apologized. "But when my boss tells me I need to stay to finish something, I don't have much choice. I'm still new. I did it as fast as I could so I could come be with you," he tried to reason.

But Tom was just grouchy. "Fine," he responded and moved to start warming the food. Then he turned to Ben and stated rather abruptly, "You know, I don't think I'm in the mood for this tonight. I think I need to be alone. Maybe you should go spend the night at your place."

Ben felt hurt, but having little experience in a relationship—letting alone having an argument—conceded to Tom's wishes. "Ok," he choked out. He got his briefcase, put his shoes on, and came to kiss Tom goodbye. Tom folded his arms, reluctantly accepted the peck on his check, and didn't even respond when Ben said, "I'll call you tomorrow," before shutting the door.

Tom was in a foul mood and didn't bother eating the cold Thai food as he poured himself another glass of whiskey.

Ben got into his car and started to cry. What the fuck just happened? He wondered. The tears flowed. He didn't do anything wrong, he rationalized. Tom was just in a bad mood. That wasn't his fault. Damn it! He pounded his fist on the steering wheel. This was not how their first fight was going to go.

Ben got out of the car in pouring rain and went back to Tom's building, just as a neighbor was opening the door. She recognized Ben and let him in with her. Ben raced up the stairs, pissed, and knocked on Tom's door.

While it had only been 15 minutes since Ben had left, Tom was on his way to being drunk and couldn't figure out who would be at the door.

"I'll be there in a minute," he bellowed as he got up from his chair. He opened the door to find a soaking Ben standing there.

Ben grabbed Tom and pulled him into a forceful, passionate, hungry kiss. Tom was startled at first, partially drunk, still pissed off, and his head was spinning. What the fuck is this kid doing? He thought! But as Ben's tongue explored his mouth and his hands found their way to Tom's highly sensitive nipples, Tom's resistance faded and he melted into the kiss.

They moved their way back into Tom's loft, shedding Ben's wet jacket, then Tom's robe, and Ben's shirt as they continued to kiss and grope each other's bodies.

Ben was on fire—and pissed at Tom for sending him away! He wasn't going to let Tom push him away! But he had to show him in his body how he felt rather than with his words. They made their way to the bedroom, Ben twisting Tom's nipples hard, causing him to moan and gasp.

Ben wasn't playing gentle tonight. And Tom was incredibly turned on. Ben pushed Tom onto the bed face down and dove into his ass, probing it with his tongue. Tom relaxed into it and audibly moaned, "Fuck boy, that feels good."

Goaded on by Tom's encouragement, Ben reached underneath Tom's stomach and worked his nips as he continued to tongue fuck his hungry ass. The combination of both was sending Tom into euphoria when suddenly Ben was lying on Tom's back, gently biting his neck, his finger running circles around Tom's loosened ass.

Tom found himself lost in a wave of emotions as Ben's finger probed his ass and hit his prostate. Ben flipped Tom on his back and started to bite his nips as his finger moved in and out of Tom's ass. Tom was normally wound tightly—emotionally and physically—and it was rare he had anyone pay attention to his ass. The sensations were new, a little frightening for him, and causing him total pleasure.

Ben moved off Tom for a second and got the lube out of the nightstand. He put a healthy dollop on his cock and on his fingers as he then put two fingers into Tom's ass, causing Tom to cry out, "Oh God Damn it!" in surprised ecstasy.

Ben was like a man possessed. He wanted to please Tom, yes. But he also wanted to give him the gift of not being in charge for a few minutes; to let go and be taken care of.

He leaned down and kissed Tom gently as he worked three fingers in his ass. "Tom, I'm going to fuck you. You're going to love it. Don't fight me. Just let me in," Ben cooed.

Tom started to panic. A cock in my ass? He thought. But I'm the top. I'm in charge. I'm in control. Will Ben respect me after he fucks me? It's gonna hurt. What if...?

Ben took Tom's face in his hand. "Stop overthinking baby. Just let it feel good." And Tom relaxed into Ben's eyes. He wanted to tell him how he felt. But he was terrified. The last time he loved someone... it shattered his heart. He didn't know if he could do that again.

Ben slowly eased the head of his cock into Tom's ass. He was about seven inches but not terribly thick. It went it without much resistance. "Breathe," he instructed Tom. And Tom let out a breath. Ben grabbed Tom's legs and foisted them up as he moved more of his cock inside his lover.

"Fuck!!" Tom cried out as Ben continued to move inside him. Tom wasn't sure if he was in pain or if it felt good or what was going on; his mind went blank as Ben started picking up speed and he kept hitting Tom's prostate. Tom started to grab for his dick, but Ben swatted his hand away.

"You're not gonna cum yet," Ben said with a force that took Tom's breath away.

"Ok," he responded meekly.

Ben went all out as every thought faded from Tom's mind and he surrendered to Ben's thrusting, his intimacy, his passion. The feeling was overwhelming; Tom hadn't felt this in years—since long before Jeremy had died. It awakened a vulnerability inside him that made him ache. Tears started to fall from his eyes as Ben kept hitting his prostate over and over.

"Ben!" Tom cried as the pleasure overwhelmed his senses and his body. "Ben! I'm gonna cum," Tom shouted as he lost control and the cum started pouring out of his cock. "Ben, Ben, Ben!!" Tom came so hard his mind went blank; he'd never felt such pleasure in his life.

He was called back by hearing Ben's moaning as he came and filled up his as with cum, "Tom!" Ben collapsed onto Tom, both of them breathing hard, shaking.

They were quiet for a few minutes as they held each other and their breathing returned to normal.

"Tom," Ben began as he kissed his neck as his cock slid out of his ass, "let's shower and get dressed. We need to go somewhere." Tom raised his eyebrow. Ben's eyes were full, "Please Tom," he asked. Tom nodded his consent. They showered, grabbed a bite to eat, dressed, and took umbrellas as they headed out.

Tom had been quiet as he tried to find words. "Ben, I'm sorry I was so crabby before. It was a lousy day. I shouldn't have snapped at you. Our first fight and I was a total dick. I'm sorry. Will you forgive me?" His voice was firm but tender and utterly sincere.

Ben looked Tom in the eye as they reached the bench, the spot on the bridge where they first spoke earlier in the spring. The fall rain had stopped and the last glimmers of day light reflected off the fall leaves and the water of the Mississippi below. He held Tom's hand as tears fell from his eyes.

"Of course I forgive you, Tom. I love you. Thank you for tonight," he whispered.

Tom was surprised, both by the professional of love and by the gratitude. "I love you, too, Ben. Thank me for what?" he asked.

Ben smiled. "You love me, too!" He proclaimed and he held Tom's hand. "Thank you for loving me. Thank you for letting me in, tonight. Thank you for being vulnerable with me. I want you to be dominant. I want to please you. And," he took a deep breath, "Every once in a while I want you to be able to let go, to not have to be in charge, to let me in and let me take care of you. You're older. You have so much to teach me. I want to learn and grow with you. And... occasionally, I can teach you a thing or two. Not all the time. I don't want it every night. But on occasion..." He took his finger and pressed it at the end of Tom's nose, who smiled.

Tom held Ben as tears fell freely. He was quiet for a few minutes before he spoke in measured breaths. "When Jeremy died," he choked out, "I never thought I would love anyone again. I cried all day for months. I lost weight. Muffin was one of the only reasons I got out of bed every day. I didn't get hard or even jerk off for the first year after he died. It was like I was alive, but just a body." He shook his head at the memory.

"I got back to work, I volunteered, I spent time with Annie and Phillip. I was doing better..." His voice trailed off.

"Then I met you, that night at the bar. And I felt that electricity when we first shook hands and then spent the night talking. You're smart and funny and sexy as fuck." Ben blushed.

"And you blush like that," Tom laughed, "and it makes me so fucking happy."

He got quiet again. "I realized why I was in such a foul mood earlier tonight." Ben lifted his head from Tom's chest and looked him in the eyes.

Tom continued. "This Saturday is the fifth anniversary of the day Jeremy died. For the last four years, I knew every day. I felt missing him with my whole body. I didn't think about him constantly these last couple years—but I knew. I fucking knew when this day was." His voice sounded angry, but Ben sensed that beneath it was pure heartache.

"And then I met you. And we're having fun together. You make me laugh. I can't imagine my life without you," he said tenderly. "But..."

Ben started to panic but caught his breath. "But tonight you got mad at me because we are spending time together and you're having fun and Jeremy died and you feel like you're being disloyal to him and you're angry because your body knew what was happening but you weren't thinking about it consciously." It wasn't a question; it was Ben's engineering mind understanding how all the pieces of Tom's heart fit together. It made perfect sense to him.

Tom's face reddened. He was... embarrassed? "I didn't think I'd ever love anyone again. Jeremy and I met when we were 18. We grew up together. You're the younger one," he smiled at Ben, "But in some ways," he gulped as he turned away, fearful he was admitting too much, "In some ways, I'm new to this, too."

Ben wiped a tear from Tom's cheek. "Listen to me, Sir," he said with a smile. "You loved Jeremy. You had a beautiful life together. It is totally unfair that he died so young. I don't ever want to take his place. I can't ever take his place. But if you let me, I'd like to spend the rest of my life trying to love you in our own way..."

Tom hugged him close, "I love you. And I'd love that, Boy," he said with a chuckle.

"And Tom," Ben said as they gazed up at the stars holding each other on their spot on the bridge, "You're a damn good bottom."

Tom feigned embarrassment. The both laughed and watched the sunset.