*Note: Hello everyone. It has been a while since my last story in this series. Not sure if this will be the last part or not, but I hope you like this one.
John started the day lying in bed, thinking about all of the men he'd had over the last year. It was something he often did in the mornings when he was not looking forward to getting out of bed. There was Leo, the young, black military officer and the first guy he'd had sex with since leaving the home he'd shared with his ex-wife. Then there was Dylan, the six-foot-three ex-marine with reddish brown hair. Chet, 6 feet even, blonde, lean and fit. Dylan's new boyfriend Ray, another ex-marine who John thought looked like a Polish bodybuilder. And the others. Sarge was fun. And hot. His boyfriend (Robbie) was sketchy and at times unpleasant but they played separately and together, so John could still have fun when he got Sarge alone.
Dylan was the best in bed, the most sensual, the most oral, and the most aural. Leo was the most beautiful and at 25, the most energetic. Ray had the biggest dick. And then there was Chet, the successful lawyer. John had an MBA and a successful professional career. On paper, he and Chet made the most sense together. There was definitely a spark there, but Chet wanted more than John was willing to give. He wanted a relationship. He wanted exclusivity. John wanted nothing of the sort. And so, Chet's disappointment became one of the things that made John feel guilty.
The first time John met Ray - a large muscular cop - had been... interesting. Ray was naturally stoic and reserved but the two ex-Marines were a very sexual couple with no qualms about casual hookups. This dynamic lead to John acting as perhaps the most "accommodating" host anyone could ask for. The second time he met Ray, had been equally interesting but for different reasons. The three of them were sitting in John's living room when Dylan's unlikely friendship with Leo came up.
"Yeah, they're REAL good friends," Ray said.
John perked up. "What do you mean by that?" He asked, already having a good idea of what was meant.
"Apparently, they tag-teamed a bottom together," the man said, rubbing his bald head.
John feigned shock. "Who was it?"
"Dylan wouldn't say. Said he doesn't want anyone to be embarrassed."
John took a sip of his Scotch and smirked. He looked at Dylan who also shared a similar expression.
"I'm not embarrassed," John said offhandedly.
Ray was shocked but only for a moment and for the first time since they'd met, the man smiled. Briefly.
"Dylan and Leo at the same time, huh?" He said trying to sound nonchalant.
But later, while at a bar frequented by Dylan and his friends, Ray caught John alone outside. His hands were in his pockets and he seemed almost nervous.
"So, Dylan and Leo... what was that like?"
John looked up at Ray through narrowed eyes. "I was great. Really hot."
"Uh huh, but how did it go? I mean how did it happen?"
John went into more detail about the time and place but eventually it became clear that Ray wanted details of a different kind. After several increasingly more intimate questions, John finally gave away all of the graphic details, reliving the memory. Then he turned to Ray with a question of his own.
"Why do you want to know?" John asked, playfully suspicious.
Ray gave John a look that let John know that he'd been caught. He shrugged.
"I'm sure you already know this but, Leo doesn't have much time left before he leaves on his deployment and when he gets back there's only a month or two before he leaves for good," John said knowingly.
"I don't know what you're talking about," Ray said coolly. But there was a smile in his tone and he gave John a genial clap on the shoulder before heading back into the bar.
The last few months had also brought a couple of other friends. One was Charlie, a kind elderly man who co-owned the bar where Dylan liked to spend time and who, John realized, viewed Dylan almost as a surrogate son. The fact that John had let Dylan stay with him during a tough time was the only thing that he needed to know about John to welcome him with open arms. The other, unexpectedly, came courtesy of Ray. John was a bit hesitant when Ray asked him to talk to a guy who was having some issues navigating his sexuality and his current spousal situation. John had also been stuck trying to reconcile being married to a woman after realizing that he liked men and this man, Scott, was in a similar situation. But it was not quite the same. Scott was... different, reckless in a way that was a bit shocking. John liked Scott and decided to be a friend to him but realized that that friendship could only go so far. But, they were able to talk comfortably about their backgrounds, their marriages, and their sex lives almost right away. It was nice having friends to talk about these kinds of things with now. He had no one like this back in his old town.
As John pulled himself out of bed and prepared to drive back, he felt guilty that he was dreading it. Not just the possibility of running into gossipy old neighbors, but also his oldest son. John was taking him shopping for his college dorm room. It was supposed to be a bonding experience but the boy, now 18, had always been moody and a tiny bit arrogant. John's actions - getting caught on his knees and outed to the neighborhood - had brought about shame and more likely than not, ruined the last two years of high school for him. Thoughts of that affair often popped into his head when John went back to his home town. But all John could do was be there for him now. So, in spite of the reluctance and guilt, he got dressed on this August morning and made the drive back to his old life.
The day went better than expected. He got to spend some time with his younger son, now going into his senior year, before heading out with the older one. It was fine. The boy managed to not be moody or hostile, and John managed to blunt some of the damage that the divorce had done to their relationship. After a few hours of shopping, lunch, and actual bonding, they headed back to John's car. The backseat and trunk were filled with all of the things a college dorm might need. From the passenger seat, John noticed a shift in his son Ian's demeanor. He braced himself.
"Did you know?" his son asked as the car started and began to exit the parking lot.
"Know what?" John asked, focusing on the road.
"Did you know you were gay when you married mom?"
John was prepared for this. It was a question he had been expecting for some time now. He answered with the truth.
"No, I didn't know for sure."
"When did you know?" Ian's tone wasn't accusatory. It was genuinely inquisitive. John was grateful for that.
"It's hard to say for sure. It's very easy to lie to yourself sometimes. But I guess I could say I finally admitted it to myself about eight or nine years ago."
Ian went quiet for a while. "How did you know?" He asked.
There was something about his tone that made John wonder if there was something else going on. But he knew better than to pry. If there was something Ian wanted to tell him, it was best to let him come around on his own. John answered as plainly as he could.
"There isn't one specific moment that I can point too. It was just kind of a gradual build up feelings and realizations and...other things until it got to a point that I couldn't ignore it anymore."
"... okay."
Rest of the drive was lighter. They talked about Ian's plans for undergrad and whether or not he'd pledge a fraternity. After they unloaded loaded the vehicle, John got a big hug from his oldest son. John parted ways feeling better about his family than he had in a long time and started the drive back to his house feeling great.
As he came to edge of town he decided to stop at a nearby wine store. The one near his house was out of his favorite and he decided to see if he could get his hands on a bottle and have it chilled before dark. It should have been a quick stop on the way home.
Walking through the aisles, John found am employee re-stocking the shelves. His back was turned so John politely approached from behind.
"Excuse me," John said to back of a man wearing the store's uniform. "Could you tell me where the -"
The words disappeared as the store worker turned around. It was Pat. The neighbor John had been caught with. Who had somehow managed to keep his wife until a recent...event. He looked at John with a mixture of confusion, embarrassment, and anger. Suddenly the guilt was back.
Both men stood silent for a moment before Pat tersely uttered. "How can I help you, SIR?"
John gulped, visibly uncomfortable. "I... I'll find it myself," he said before bolting out of the store.
And now, John was plagued by memories of what he had done to his former affair partner. How he had totally exposed the man to his wife after she called him at work to scream at him for seemingly no reason. John had thought it was all over. That he was done with both of them. But John jetted home to find that Pat was indeed at his house for some reason. And that whatever that reason was, it had led to him in bed with Dylan. John had no romantic feelings for Dylan. He liked him enough to let him sleep in the guest room, and he LOVED having sex with him, but they were both seeing other guys at the time so John was not the least bit angry from that angle. It was the fact that Pat had showed up unannounced, unwittingly tracked on his phone by his wife that sent him over the edge. This man had invited chaos back into John's life and he felt a cold anger that was completely out of character for him.
Pat's wife Trisha had been convinced that everything that had happened between the two of them was John's fault and Pat was more than happy to let that lie run wild. So, when John got home, he called her back, on video this time. He slid his phone into his pocket with just the camera lens free. He showed her exactly what her husband was up to.
The way Pat must have looked: naked, moaning, on all fours as a big strong man fucked him from behind... John didn't like to think about it. In the moment it had felt vindicating but the more John thought about it, the more that a strange feeling of guilt started to creep in. Sure, Pat was jerk and his wife was vicious.... but the idea of being exposed in that way - even now - filled John with a dark and mortifying feeling.
And now, in this moment, the guilt was overwhelming, especially as John realized how his actions might have led to Pat's current situation. So, as John sat in his car empty-handed, he felt compelled to do something. He walked back into that store and had a conversation with his old neighbor. His shift was nearly over and he would have to hustle to catch the next bus. John did him a favor and offered him a ride home, but "home" was an unexpected location.
On the drive to Pat's motel, John got the rundown of his current circumstances. Seeing Pat take it up the ass in real time was the final straw for his wife. She filed for divorce and that had a rippling affect. Pat's job at the company his father-in-law owned went away. The house that his wife's parents paid for also went away. As did the cars leased using company accounts, access to the joint bank accounts, and Pat's credit cards. Pat had nothing and now he was living at a ratty motel until he could save up enough money for a deposit on an apartment. As he told this story, John took note of his demeanor. Gone was cocky, arrogant asshole who had degraded him in private and embarrassed him in front their friends. The man sitting beside John was contrite, dispirited, and greatly humbled.
