For a few days after I had fucked Tom, my wonderful 50 something friend, I was caught up in a whole range of thoughts and emotions.
Should I go ahead and let him fuck me too, or should I draw the line? If I let him would it mean that I really was gay and had been pretending to myself through my 3 years of marriage and before?
I continued to feel guilty about Lisa, my wife, but I kept remembering that Tom had enjoyed a limited amount of sex with men all through his marriage until his wife had died. As far as he could tell she did not know about it and he did not think it had harmed their relationship. I had also seen on the internet that many men identified themselves as bisexual. So perhaps that was what I was.
The strange thing was that I still did not really have any interest in other men apart from Tom. Ok so I had had an encounter with an old guy in a public toilet but that was just anonymous sex. I did feel differently about Tom. He fulfilled my childhood and teen dreams about an older man (in those days it was mainly my school teachers) and when we kissed and held each other it was something really special.
Eventually I realised that I could not go on thinking in this way and I needed to concentrate on work and on my marriage which I was still determined was what I wanted. Then a rather odd thing happened. I think I have mentioned before that I had started tucking my shirt in my briefs, something that I had done in my school days but that I had stopped as I got older. For some reason it made me horny and once I found that Tom thought the same I decided I wanted to enjoy those feelings again.
I thought I had managed to conceal this from Lisa but one day she came into the bedroom just as I was putting my trousers on. She said that she had noticed my waistband showing a few times.She wondered why I had suddenly started tucking my shirt in like that but she hadn't said anything about it. I said something about keeping some of my shirts neater and to my amazement she said that I should carry on doing it as she thought it looked rather sexy.
I couldn't believe it and didn't know what to say but simply told her that I had got to like it too so would carry on doing it. That night instead of taking my shirt off first I took my trousers off and walked around the bedroom in my shirt and briefs as I was sorting clothes out for the next day. The problem was that I could feel myself getting hard and I was about to finish undressing when Lisa said:
"Come on over here, sexy, let me have a look at those bulging briefs!"
What could I do but go over to her as she laid down on the bed. I stood in front of her and she stroked me and ran her hands around inside the waistband. Then she suddenly pulled my cock out of the leg of the briefs, opened her nightdress and rubbed it against her breasts. We had had various types of foreplay in the past and had done something similar but somehow for me it was fantastic to do it with my shirt tucked in my briefs. We went on to fuck and, instead of getting naked as we usually did she stopped me taking my clothes off. She also said she would keep her panties on and that seemed to move the whole thing on to a new level for both of us. We had a great time.
The next day I was replaying all of this in the car going to work and knew more than ever that I loved Lisa and wanted to stay with her and start that family we had talked about. But then I began to think about Tom. We were due to meet in a couple of days and I nearly called him there and then to cancel. But something stopped me. The more I thought about it I knew that I still wanted to see him too and to my surprise I also knew that I wanted him to fuck me. I decided to do nothing to prepare myself but just to put myself in Tom's hands.
So on the due date I was ringing his door bell full of nervous excitement. I was taken aback when he opened the door to see him in a dressing gown half open revealing his shirt and boxer briefs underneath.
"Wow!" I said, "Somebody's keen."