The Ing's Bodyguard

[This Chapter is an experiment to test readers' reactions. There are several more chapters to follow.]

*****

Chapter One

Life as a Bodyguard

King Arthur VI of Gaylandia did not play a major political role in the government of his kingdom. He played a minor diplomatic role in representing his nation on the world scene and every afternoon of the week and many evenings performed some public function such as opening a new building or celebrating an anniversary. His palace was a large baroque building in the centre of a walled private park, some 3 km in width with parkland, gardens, and sporting facilities for the Royal Bodyguard. The king was in the lucky position of not being required to produce an heir to the throne. His brother had three sons, so the succession was assured. Thus the rest of the time he was free to occupy himself in his favourite hobby, which was enjoying the company (and the services) of the Royal Bodyguard. This consisted of 12 young men of different military-type ranks, whose composition changed slowly with time. They retired at 35 with a lifetime pension and were then free to marry or enter a gay partnership.

The main criterion for an appointment to the Guard was physical beauty. Any man over eighteen who was exceptionally goodlooking, could apply. The selection process involved a rigorous physical examination and fitness test, during which every inch of the man's body was carefully examined and any interesting features including the buttocks and the genitals carefully noted. The king was particularly interested in men with big cocks, but not exclusively. The Guards were mainly well brought up and well educated. They spent each morning in tutored study of economics, politics, music, art, languages, engineering, mathematics and science at university standard and the afternoon in physical fitness activities, including running, swimming, fencing, tennis, football, basketball, shooting, riding, gymnastics and weight-lifting. Discipline was rigorous and any men who misbehaved when off duty were instantly dismissed. In particular cruising and cottaging, fighting and violence among themselves were sackable offences. Their major duty was to serve the King's sexual needs. Each week the King would choose one man from a rota which he drew up himself each month and that man would be his partner for the week.

Additionally, each year for a period of six months one of the two senior members of the Guard served his term as the royal Groom of the Stool. This was an important role, because the Groom shared most of the king's intimate activities and the two spent much time alone together. He was expected to wake the king each morning with a cup of tea, shave him and eat breakfast with him. After breakfast he would accompany the king to the royal toilet, where there were two WCs. Each of them would occupy one and perform his morning bowel movement, after which the Groom, having first wiped his own arse-crack, would then wipe the king's and after flushing away the royal turds, he would escort the king to the royal bidet where he would thoroughly cleanse the royal anus. The king would usually then shower and would be washed and dried by the Groom and sprayed with an expensive male perfume widely used in gay circles called Storing Pour Homme, created by a world-renowned Belgian parfumier. Sometimes however, the king would defer defecating and showering and join his men in their latrines later. As the king's toilet involved handling his most intimate body parts, it required skill, discretion and tenderness. Thus only two relatively senior men of the Guard were allowed to perform the role of Groom. Moreover, unlike the other Guardsmen, the Grooms of the Stool could continue indefinitely beyond the Guards' retirement age of 35, as their counsel was too valuable to the king to be lost, and indeed they had become personal friends. The two Grooms were known as Atlas and Herky, short for Hercules. Herky was the Current Groom of the Stool at the time this story begins.

Both the partner of the week and the Groom of the Stool slept in the king's bedroom. They had separate beds, but often one or both of them would be invited to sleep with the king in a huge bed that comfortably held three. The king was also a voyeur and occasionally the Guard and Groom were expected to fuck one another while the king watched. He justified this behaviour to the Groom by saying that he hoped to learn new sex techniques. The royal bedroom was adorned with paintings of sex between males, varying from Zeus fucking Ganymede to Oscar Wilde buggering Lord Alfred Douglas. Along the corridor leading to the room were further pictures of a similar nature depicting every conceivable aspect of historical gay sexuality: King James sucking George Villiers's cock, Piers Gaveston fucking King Edward II, Philippe Duke of Orleans fucking the Chevalier de Lorraine, a Templars' gay orgy and various popes such as Benedict IX and Sixtus IV having it off with men or young boys. The fact that the events depicted may not have ever taken place never deters an artist!

Every morning the king would inspect his bodyguard at eight o'clock. The men were required to line up into two rows naked and the king would inspect them. The routine was the same each morning. First of all the king would do an arse inspection in which he inspected the rear of each of the men and occasionally would pause to caress, touch or even poke their behind with his finger. Occasionally one would be required to bend over and have his arse-crack inspected. Having done that, the king would then carry out a cock inspection in which again he might fondle, or get hold of a particular male organ and lift it to inspect the balls hanging behind it. Hygiene was rigorous, the men were expected to take a second shower after their afternoon exercise.

The men were prohibited from having tattoos or body piercings, but were allowed earrings, rings, bracelets, necklaces and cock rings. They were not allowed to have sex with women, but were free to fuck one another, and to form relationships with fellow guardsmen. Beards were prohibited as well as shaving any part of the body except the face. They could grow their hair long if they wished, and were expected to use male perfume and toiletries. During the inspections they had to stand up straight with their hands behind their backs, and talking was forbidden. They were allowed to have an erection or to fart if necessary.

After the inspection, still naked, they went to breakfast. After breakfast they were all expected to make a visit to the latrines for their morning bowel movement. The latrine was a large room without stalls or partitions, and each man had his own urinal and WC with his name on it. At one side of the room, facing the other WCs was the Royal Toilet. This had a soft upholstered seat, and an embroidered canopy. Next to it was a plain WC for the Groom. Usually once per week the king would change his routine and he and the Groom of the Stool would join the men in the latrines where the king would abandon royal modesty and do his business in front of the men, and the Groom of the Stool would wipe his shitty arse-crack. The daily communal defecation lasted twenty minutes and was of course a pretty smelly occasion, and two of the men, at the end of the session would go round with a deodorant spray.

All the men then moved to the showers and on the days when the king had joined them to shit, he would also join them in his own special shower, which like the others had no curtain or partition. The Groom of the Stool would wash the king and dry him. The men were supplied with perfume, shampoo, scented shower gel and deodorant. Their day uniform consisted of a loose-fitting jacket and loose baggy trousers, both made of silk. Beneath these outer garments was a brief/slip or jock-strap or thong or g-string. They were allowed to choose the type of undergarment they preferred, which were available in a range of colours, and they were expected to change it after their afternoon exercise, for which of course they wore the appropriate sporting clothes. In spite of the underlying rigorous discipline and lack of leisure, most of the men enjoyed their service in the Guard, and very few left early. Why should they? They had ample opportunity to fulfil the major male needs of plenty of exercise, sex and good food, even if their alcohol was rationed.

The Guards' diet was rigorously controlled with plenty of fresh fruit and vegetables and high quality cooking, rich but not unhealthy in its content. Restricted quantities of wine and beer were allowed, but distilled spirits were banned. Drunkenness was frowned on and any man who got drunk or was otherwise offensive was instantly dismissed without pension. Such cases generally occurred off-site when the men were off duty.

The king's mornings were occupied by affairs of state, the afternoons by public activities, and late in the afternoon the king would spend an hour swimming lengths in his private pool before dinner. His meals were taken solely with his two companions, unless there was a state dinner with guests. The State Banqueting Hall was a magnificent room with at one end a shocking mural called The Sins of Sodom in which every aspect of sex between men was illustrated in an explicit scene of an orgy.

The royal lunches in contrast were informal occasions which the king often interrupted by putting his arms round his companion of the week, kissing him and caressing his genitals. He had even been known to pull the man's cock out and put it in his mouth.

During day to day activities, the ten men who were not on duty were in the charge of a court official, the Sergeant-at-Arms, who exercised discipline over them. He did not officially assign sex roles to the men, but the selection meant that while all were expected to be versatile if the king required it, there were usually equal numbers of men who preferred to be top and of those preferring to be bottom. The king was versatile and his needs changed with his mood. It was not regarded as appropriate for the king to indulge in sexual horseplay with the men in the showers, so if he did require more than two partners for a bit of 'rumpy pumpy,' a selection was sent to him by the Sergeant-at-Arms after the king had stipulated the number and sex role of those required ('send me two bumfuckers'). It was regarded as a great honour if any of the men who had formed relationships with one another were allowed to fuck one another in the presence of the king.

There was a royal fetish: the king had an obsession with farting, and a sure way for the men to get favourable royal attention was by breaking wind at an appropriate moment. It was not regarded by the king as offensive if any of the men farted in his presence. The king's obsession meant of course that he also farted regularly in front of the men, but he avoided relieving himself on state occasions. The men were allowed to fart at any time, except during meals. Farting during meals was the exclusive prerogative of the king, unless he granted a request from one of the men to let one off. The Groom of the Stool always had a can of air-freshener handy in case the smell got offensive.

The Guard employed a number of women for domestic purposes: laundry, chefs, waitresses and cleaners, so it was not a 100% male establishment. Both the men and (later) the boys were served by waitresses at lunch and dinner. No women were allowed in the room during the men's nude breakfast.