I remember talking to a mate at work about how much I missed my old playing days in football and longed for that team camaraderie, getting together after for drinks. I really missed it. He told me that he recently joined a new club and that if I wanted to come check it out, I was welcome to come. I asked what it was called and he said it was the Greek Society.
"The Greek Society? What the hell is that, buggery, debauchery, "I said laughing?
"Funny, but there is some interesting and fun things to do there, that's for sure"
"So, what's it all about?"
"It's hard to describe and I'll need to ask you some questions before I decide to bring you along, but not to worry, I think you'll love it. We honor the Greek traditions of honor, athletic glory, intellectual debate, fine dining and respect, admiration and production of wine, and we also have some traditions of our own. It is a fabulous place to network and I have already increased my business by 15 % since joining six months ago."
"Sounds cool, when do you go?"
"Oh you can go by whenever you want, Thursday night is Olympia night and that is when most members tend to go. There is a subject chosen each week for debate based on a suggestion box, and each night there are several athletic competitions. Because the Greeks competed in so many events, we chose wrestling as most of the men enjoy the one to one combat and tremendous exercise benefits of it."
"One question, the Greeks competed in the nude and considered sex with young men, glorification of the male body. There isn't any of that crap going on is there?"
"No, we are not pedophiles; this is a classy club with good guys and successful businessmen from all walks of life. There are no female members however and some of the members do engage in the Greek custom of honoring and cherishing the male physique.
"Have you done that with any of the members?"
"Every week my friend let me explain all of it and you'll see why, I have become a lover of the male physique and man to man combat and sex. First of all you have to be accepted and the cost is high, but the perks are tremendous.
"There is a standard uniform that we all wear while we are in the club and you have to submit to grooming before you can enter."
"What is the costume and what kind of grooming are we talking about?"
"Ancient Greeks, considered body hair to be grotesque, especially around the genitalia and the legs, it was tolerated on the upper body, but not below. The outfit has two parts, if you are considering debate, then you don a toga, that is a sign of respect for the serious nature of the discussions, before entering the debate chamber. We all wear the same thing under the togas and if you are not debating that is all you wear in the club. It is essentially a slave tunic; we honor the humility of the slaves and the glory of the gladiator by wearing the slave tunic. It is a loin cloth with a short outer drape or skirt and a leather belt with a shoulder strap attached. We also wear lace-up sandals to mid-calf. There is no underwear worn underneath the tunic. The uniforms are beautiful, white with gold leaf trim and beautiful Italian leather belts and shoes."
"It sounds a little sparse and who does the grooming, that is the big question?"
"The grooming is done by a man hired by the club, he is an Italian guy, short, powerful build, and he used to wrestle and sometimes competes in the Olympia. He was a barber and does an incredible job. You have to allow him to groom or they will not let you in, as his standard is the club's standard. It is actually very nice; you are bathed, massaged and then covered in expensive oils and lotions for the waxing and shaving."
"Waxing, oh man, I think I just changed my mind"
"Relax, it only hurts for a second and the creams and lotions he has, ease the pain really quickly. It feels amazing, honestly?"
"Okay, I can live with that, but the outfit is a tad unusual isn't it."
"As I said it is a tribute to the gladiator spirit and when you wrestle, believe me, you don't want anything more than that, it gets hot very fast and more clothes would just impede your movements."
"Okay, so tell me about the wrestling, how does that work?"
"There is a challenge board, you can challenge anyone in the club and work you way up to the top, there are weight classes too, and you always fight within ten pounds of your weight, up or down. If you are challenged you have to accept the challenge, you cannot deny the challenge. You can only challenge one level up, you cannot go right to the top, unless they challenge down to you. Make sense?"
"Yeah, but what happens when you win?"
"Let me explain how the fight goes. The ring is large, circular shaped, each contestant stands facing each other, there are giant bowels of fire, on each corner, there is a large balcony facing the ring and on the other sides are the spectators standing around on a raised platform behind a railing. The two fighters face each other, toeing a line about 3o feet away from each other in the middle of the ring. There are drummers all along the edges of the ring, pounding on giant drums and also, guardians, incredibly strong and highly skilled men, hired by the club to referee the fight and keep the combatants from fleeing the ring. Once you agree to the challenge and enter the ring, you cannot leave or submit. You wrestle until your opposition taps out, passes out or is pinned 2 out of three times. If you tap out and the 4 Greek Society Elders, who sit in the balcony and oversee the fight, rule that it is too soon, you must continue to fight or be expelled from the club. Cheating during a match or excessive violence will also result in your expulsion and the guardians are not gentle about it either. Our code of honor means everything to us. Punching and kicking and any other form of cheating is not allowed. You must wrestle in the traditional style and be Greek, fight fair and hard."
"Wow, this sounds incredible, tell me more!"
"The fight itself follows an ancient gladiator ritual; both combatants enter the ring to the pounding of the ceremonial drums, escorted on either side by the guardians. The guardians are distinguished from us by their clothing; they wear nothing but a tight girdle and a neckpiece."
"A girdle? You're kidding me?"
"A girdle is a Greek thong, thicker in the back, but a thong. Both fighters face and bow to the elders. They then stand for inspection and upon receiving the nods from the Elders proceed to the lines drawn at opposite ends of the ring. They stand and face each other and then the crowd which must remain silent until this point, begins to chant and cheer for each opponent. Both opponents wait for the gong from the elders and then they charge at each other full steam and launch themselves in the air at each other, thus beginning the fight. After the collision they wrestle, full bore until there is a victor. Sometimes the initial collision is the whole fight. There is a Scotsman who is particularly deadly at the opening lunge; he is very strong and tough. No-one enjoys fighting him and he has remained at the top of our weight class since he joined. He knocks out or has a tap out in every fight. No-one has pinned him or taken a pin from him."
"Sounds like a challenge?"
"You would be advised to work your way up to that. The closing ritual will offer you more of a reason for that."
"What happens?"
"After a victor has been decided, the submission ball is rolled out into the middle of the ring. The ball is a large metal ball, with chains on the sides, top and bottom. The loser is chained to the ball by the victor who drags his conquest to the ball. The full submission after a loss is considered honorable, and most of the men are gentle. The loser is splayed on top of the ball and cuffed to the chains by their hands and finally their feet, spread wide apart on the ball, which is quite large. Then the guardians come forth and prepare the loser for final conquest."
