I had only been widowed for two months or so when this true story happened. Even though I am a writer, I don' read much fiction, except for some gay erotica. So I only have my real experiences to write about.
Even when my wife was alive I had a few male lovers for years but nothing like after she passed. I think she knew I was gay and I suspected the same of her. We had one year when we really got into porn and she always enjoyed the girl-girl movies. In fact,it seemed like that was the only way she could orgasm. More than once she mentioned being attracted to a girlfriend, that she thought about kissing them, and she even talked about eating pussy or rubbing her pussy on another woman's pussy. when we watched lesbian porn
However, what I didn't tell her is that when we were watching straight porn I wasn't watching the girls; they did not interest me. It was the men who made my mouth water. Especially when they had beautiful big cocks. I loved the moment when a man's pants were unzipped and the girl pulled out a luscious cock. I imagined being the girl and making that cock hard, tasting the precum, sucking the tip but then making love to the entire penis, including his balls. Of course when I mentioned I wanted to try a strap on and she was willing, well, that surely was a big hint. Or when I mentioned that a certain man on the screen had a nice cock. My eyes widened, and certainly she saw that, and my hard cock when men were on the screen alone.
When porn became more prevalent on the internet it was nothing but gay porn for me every time I had a chance and was alone. I could not get enough of looking at boys and men. I fantasized about having them, kissing them, making love to them, sucking them and getting fucked by them. Women no longer interested me.
After her passing, I was suddenly single and free to pursue a homosexual lifestyle. I started hitting the gay cruising spot in town where I'd make out with guys or suck them, sometimes two at a time, sometimes getting fucked. I am in my 60s but have been a physical fanatic my whole life. I have the butt of a boy, and it attracts many men, even the 30-somethings. One guy would just have me bend over and would ask me to wiggle my butt, and he came every time. I lost count at 20 men. Every now and then I would travel down to Phoenix to visit my son. There, I had at least 4 men I would visit after or before. One couple loved having me over, especially. They would do something called 4 hands, and they loved (and I loved it) putting their fingers deep in my butt, and working it.