"Ma'am, can you step out of the vehicle." My wife looked at him with what I'm sure was the most drunken look he had ever seen, but I might be wrong. We hadn't been going that fast and I was pretty sure that we had been staying between the lines, but being half drunk myself, I didn't help. She turned to me and even with the drunken stupor, anger was written all over her face, I would have laughed but I'm sure that it would have driven her into a rage.
I leaned back in my seat and let the warmth of the car's heater and the effects of the nights revelry lull me into an almost sleep like state. I enjoyed the thoughts of, "I told you so," that would follow tonight's run in with the law. I might have even smiled as I thought of the events that lead up to this moment in time and space where I could finally tell her that I was right and she was wrong.
I had told her that we shouldn't be driving, but she insisted that we make our way home to check on our darling child. I reminded her that we paid the babysitter for a whole night and one of us should at least sober up before going on a forty-five minute trek home. Sadly, at least for her, she didn't listen. Like usual her brilliant plans only lead to us finding ourselves in a mess that was almost insurmountable.
"Sir, can you exit the vehicle please?" The officer asked in what sounded like a rather annoyed tone of voice. I opened the door and compliance and tried to step out of the car. By try, I mean I failed (at least the first time) because I had forgotten to unbuckle to seatbelt. "Sir, have you and your wife been drinking tonight?" He asked the question that I was sure was nothing more than routine for him, but still a little nerve racking for me. I nodded slowly, almost thoughtfully.
"Yes, officer." I smiled, bashfully of course. The officer nodded and looked over at my wife who I had just now noticed was sitting in the back of the police cruiser. I felt my pulse quicken slightly, hoping that I wouldn't find myself spending the night in jail.
"Your wife tried to tell me that she only had one drink this evening." I must have giggled when he said this cause he gave me a queer look that only made me want to giggle even more. "When she failed the field sobriety test, I had to put her into car. I'm afraid she may be a danger to herself and anyone else on the road tonight."
"What's going to happen to her?" I asked rather loudly.
"She's going to spend the night in a cell. Probably filled with a bunch of other skanky drunks."
"What about me?" I asked, hoping that I wouldn't be checking into the county hotel anytime soon.
"Well that depends, sir." He sighed and rubbed his forehead thoughtfully. "I can tell that you are intoxicated, and I'm pretty sure that you shouldn't be driving a car in your state." I nodded. "I would probably have to take you in with her, unless you can do me a small favor."
"What kind favor?" I felt nervous and I'm sure my body showed it. I shivered against the cold wind as he smiled back at me.
"Well, sir, it's going to seem inappropriate." He looked more like a shy boy than a police officer at this moment. "So I'll just come out and say it, I want you to suck my cock." I must have gasped, but I'm not sure.
"What?" My voice was loud and possible slurred, but the shock and outrage where all there.
"My wife doesn't ever suck it, and a friend of mine told me that the best head he ever got was from a guy." He was so bashful when he talked now.