Every year my company throws a large works party in a hotel downtown. It's a chance for everyone to get together and toast the success of the company.
It was getting late and I was striking out big time. I couldn't even manage a quick blowie in the bathroom as I'd often received in previous years.
I looked at my watch, it was 1AM and I was ready to call it - this party was officially dead.
Keen for the party not to end, I grabbed my coat, said good night to my work colleagues and left the hotel via the lobby. It was dark outside, but surely I could find a club or a bar somewhere.
I headed down the block, scanning both sides of the road for something to peak my interest. So far, nothing yet.
I felt a chill in the air, followed by a wet spot on my forehead, then another and another.
It started to rain, then it started to really rain, the kind of rain that just bounces of any surface it touched. I had to seek shelter some where.
I pulled my coat collar up, shrunk into my coat and started to run. I wasn't exactly sure where I was going. A bright neon light up ahead caught my eye. It must be a club, so I hurried down the street to the door repeating the words please be open, please be open in my head.
Standing in front of the door was this huge bear of a man, he looked me up and down and opened the large wooden door inside and tilted his head to go through.
I was glad to be out of the rain. I wiped the water from my face and took my first look around, I was in a small dimly lit room, with a large desk to one end. There was the faint murmur of music in the background.
"Good evening or good morning, I can never tell at this point. Can I take your coat? or perhaps a towel." the voice joked.
A man's voice spoke from behind the desk. I spun round to see this young man, sitting on a chair, dressed in what appeared to be a three piece suit.
"Sorry, I didn't see you there" I replied as I started to remove my coat.
He stood up from behind the desk and reached out his arm to take the coat from me.
"I'll get you a ticket for your coat"
From a drawer in his desk, he pulled out a small book of tickets and tore out two tickets. One he handed to me and the other he put in the coat pocket, before hanging it up.
"Oh and before I forget, this club is very discreet, so we can't allow any phones or recording devices of any kind"
Well this rule certainly peaked my curiosity. What was in this club I thought to myself.
"Ah, Ok" I said reluctantly handing over my phone.
"I'll also need to do a quick search. You understand"
"Sure" Now I was interested.
The man exited the area behind the desk and began to pad me down. He started with my chest, my back then each of my arms in turn.
"Someones in good shape" he remarked squeezing my biceps.
Then he went lower, he crouched down and began feeling up each of my legs, as he went up one, he took his hands up to my crotch, where I was convinced he was taking his time. He felt the bulge with his fingers before moving on to the other leg and then coming straight back up the other way and finishing on the bulge again.
"You're all good, you can go on through" and with that he pointed at the door behind me.
"Thanks" I replied.
"Enjoy"
I turned and opened the door. From the faint murmur of music, to the loud hustle and bustle of the club.
This was not what I was expecting at all, I was in an old fashioned club. To the right of me was a long stretching bar, commanded by a very fit, muscular man, wearing no top but only black braces. He was making a cocktail for a customer. As he shook the container you could see his muscles flex.
Opposite the bar on the far end was a stage, where a drag act was pelting out the Cher classic 'If I could turn back time'. The singer was about 6ft, wearing a long sequinned teal dress and a massive black wig.
Her audience, all men, were sitting around a series of round tables in front of the stage and enjoying every minute of it.
"What can I get you?" The man from bar asked.
"Oh, ah, I'll just have a beer" I said still surveilling the room.
I sat myself down on a stool by the bar and watched the singer, while I waited for my drink.
She had just finished the song to the applause of the audience and pulled the microphone from its stand.
"Thank you, thank you. You're too kind" She said blowing kisses to the audience.
"For all you newcomers, I am madam Jizzelle and this is my club, I hope you all enjoy" she said to more applause.
She sashayed to the end of the stage and down a series of short steps her hand poised in the air.
"Now my darlings, to meet my adoring fans"
She walked over to a young man, who was with a group of friends and sat on his lap.
"Tell me honey, did you enjoy the performance?" she asked him before tilting the microphone in his direction.
"Yes maam"
"Ooh, yes maam, sounds practically military"
"Yes maam, US Navy" he replied.
"And what brings you to Jizzelles? Let me guess, you're looking for somewhere to dock your submarine."
The crowd erupted into laughter.
"Yes maam" he replied but his voice was drowned out by the crowd.
"Well, mama Jizzelle can help you out with that my dear"
She stood up from his lap.
"Nigel, oh Nigel where are you my love?" she called out. From the back, a man dressed in a designer suit came out to the stage.
"There you are my darling, could you take..."
She pointed the microphone back at the man.
"Sam"
"Could you take Sam and show him where he'll be docking tonight"
With that Nigel extended his arm and Sam stood up and grabbed it, both men waving at the audience.
"Thank you for your service Sam" she said giving a salute.
I watched as Nigel and Sam disappeared through a purple velvet clad door to the far end of the room.
"Here's your beer" the barman said breaking my concentration.
"Thanks... oh wait before you go. What's behind that fancy door over there?"
"Ooff, it's going to cost you to find out." he said.
"Cost? How much?"
I took a swig from the bottle.
"$100"
I nearly spat out the beer.
"One hundred bucks!"
"Yep, but I guarantee you, it's worth every penny"
I took another swig.
"Well... do you want find out?"
I looked at his chiselled physique and pondered.
"Do you accept credit cards?" I asked.
"That we do"
"Then what the fuck, let's do it" I said hoping this would liven up my night.
I handed the bartender my card and he swiped it on the reader behind the bar.
"Ok, that's done. I'll give you a shout in 15 minutes." he said handing me my card.
With that he disappeared to the opposite end of the bar to serve another customer.
I sat there, staring at that purple velvet door, wondering what could possibly worth $100. Whatever it was I was eager to find out.
Madam Jizzelle took to the stage once again and the music started up again, she ploughed through Chers back catalogue and was actually a pretty good singer - no lip syncing either.
Just as she was finishing her third song, Nigel the well dressed man approached the bar and spoke with bartender, he pointed me out to Nigel who then turned and began to approach me.
"Good evening" he said with a delectable English accent.
"I believe you've procured one of our services. If you'd like to follow me sir".
I downed the last of my beer and followed Nigel as we headed towards the purple velvet clad door.
He opened the door for me and gestured for me to go through. We were now standing in a corridor, the door immediately in front of me had a brass plate on it titled 'The Clean Room', then to the left of me was a series of eight doors, four on each side. Strangely the doors were all very close to each other, I couldn't imagine that they would all lead to different rooms.
Nigel gestured again to me.
"If you'd like to start here sir and then when you're ready, please pick any of the available doors on the left of each side so thats doors one, three, five or seven."
I nodded and with that Nigel exited the corridor through the purple door.
I took a deep breath and opened the 'The clean room' door. It revealed a brightly lit room covered in exotic white tiles, it looked like a fancy bathroom. I was greeted by two attractive young Puerto rican men wearing white bathrobes.
"Hello, my name is Diego"
"and mine is Luis, we'll be assisting you tonight."
'Assisting me' I thought, I like the sound of that.
"Could you remove your clothes please, you can place them in the lockers behind you.
I couldn't believe my luck, looks like its a threesome with a couple of Puerto rican twinks. I hurried to take my clothes off, kicking off my shoes, whilst unbuttoning my shirt.
They both watched as I got undressed. I got to the last piece of clothing, my underwear and paused and looked at them.
"And those" Diego gestured.
I pulled off my underwear and stood there awkwardly.
"So.... how does this work? Do I Fuck you and he watches, or do we take turns?" I asked enthusiastically.
They looked at each other and then back at me.
"Nothing so crude handsome, the clue is in the name - The Clean Room."
"Our job is to get you clean. Come."
Diego held out his slender hand and took me to the back of the room. There was a large open tiled shower, Luis headed towards it first and turned on the large taps, a jet of water blasted from the shower head.