The Chase

Chapter 1: Griffin and Chase realize that it's time for a change.

GRIFFIN

"Honestly Griffin, I don't know why you always do this to yourself!" He said as he took off his bag and threw it on the floor.

I looked over at him, questioning his comment, "What do you mean, it's not like I ask for this to happen all the time."

He rolled his eyes and explained, "Look, you can't go around fucking every guy on campus and not expect one of them to actually want a relationship."

I threw my hands in the air, "I made it very clear that this was purely sexual and that's it...he was the one who didn't tell me that it was his first time with a guy!"

His face blew up, "NO. You did not just pop this dude's cherry? No wonder why he's so hung up. Griff, you seriously just need to tell him that you're not in for a relationship."

I calmed down, "I know, I know. I'll do it tonight over coffee."

He replied, "Really? You have to do it tonight during my shift?"

I smirked, "Yes I do, that way if things go south I can call in the nice blonde server to help me out."

He quickly replied, "No. No. I am not going to swoop in and try to salvage this. You fucked up, you deal with it."

I pleaded, "Come on Chase, just flirt with him a little to get his mind off me. I swear."

He bounced back, "Griffin, I am not going to get any of your sloppy seconds, no thank you. Just cause you go out fucking every asshole out there doesn't mean you have to drag me into your mess."

Ouch, now that really stung. I relaxed, "Alright I get it, geez. I'll dump him tonight. Just promise you'll be there...for me?"

He paused for a few seconds them reassured, "Yeah I'll be there for you. But just you, not any of your one-night hook-ups."

I put my arm around him, "Thanks man. What would I do without you?"

He pat my leg, "Let's hope you don't have to find out. Now get up and let's get some lunch, I'm starving!"

God knows I have Chase to thank for a lot of things. And I guess our relationship as friends was a series of saving each other's ass. We met a few days into Freshmen year and here we are now: half-way through our Sophomore year in college and we're still as close as ever. Now when most people meet us they always assume that we're a couple; and considering that I get around, I get why people make the assumption. But no, Chase and I have never seen each other in that way; we'd never kissed or had any drunken nights of intimacy. Now we do play around a lot: tons of innuendos, touching...hell we've even seen each other naked on a few occasions. But beneath our unusual relationship was a fine line that neither of us dared to or even wanted to cross.

As I sipped my cup of black coffee, I started the conversation, "Eric, I called you over because I wanted to talk to you." Just as I finished that sentence, I felt like the entire coffee shop was peering over my shoulder; judging me and knowing that I'm about to dump this poor boy. "I just don't want anything serious right now and I don't know if we want the same thing."

Eric looked at me with a cold face, "Oh. So you basically called me over here to break up with me? Is that what this is?"

I explained, "We never established that we were dating! And a relationship is the last thing I want right now."

He shook his head, "You know what, Griffin. I feel so stupid for ever wanting to be with you. I was warned about you: how you'd do anything to get into a guy's pants then throw him out before the cum dries! Save your half-ass excuse for someone else!" And with that, he stood up and stormed out. I remained seated and couldn't help but think that once again, I screwed up. I never wanted to hurt that kid, it was never my intention.

Chase across me, taking a break from his shift. He moved his head around, trying to look at me as I stared at the ground, He spoke, "So I take it he didn't take the news well."

I looked up, "He basically called me a man whore then stormed off. God, what sucks is that he was right."

Chase put his hand on my shoulder, "Griffin, don't let that guy get in your head. Yeah, you make mistakes, but you're still a great dude. No one knows that better than I do."

I gave him a sincere smile, "Thanks Chase. I guess that's what I get for not wanting a relationship. So long as I'm not willing to commit, I'm going to have to get used this." And it was true. My conquests have only satisfied me to an extent and I don't know if I'm ready for everything that a relationship comes with.

He leaned in, "You know Griffin, you don't have to do this. You can find a nice guy, settle down and be done with everything."

I agreed, "I know. I just don't know what I want right now Chase. I have some thinking to do." Chase nodded as I continued, "...So enough about me, how was your shift?"

He smiled, "Great, actually. Some dude actually asked me out."

I raised an eyebrow, "Really? Well I'll be damned, Chase Carmichael has a date!"

He shook his head, "Slow down there, I didn't actually say yes yet. I don't even know if I want to go out with him."

I looked at him, "Why would you not want to go out with a guy who's interested in you?"

He replied, "I don't know Griff. I don't know if I want to hop back on a relationship with some dude I just met for like three seconds."

I met his eyes, "Chase. Don't let this be about Zane; you guys broke up months ago and you know that none of it was your fault. You've got to get back out there again!"

He nodded, "Yeah. I guess you're right. I'll call him up later...Damn Griffin, since when do you give me the good advice?"

I laughed, "You're rubbing off on me Carmichael, get used to it." He smiled, then got up to finish his shift. I sure was glad that Chase was getting back into groove of things; I was starting to worry he'd be hung up over that asshole forever.

It all started when Chase started seeing this guy Zane. Chase introduced me to him short after they started going out and truth be told, I just had a bad feeling about the guy. There was just something about him that seemed like he was hiding something and I couldn't shake it. I wanted to tell Chase, but I didn't have any proof. And considering how upset he'd be if I nit-pick at his new guy, I decided to keep it to myself. For a while, I started to doubt my suspicions...that was until the day Chase caught Evan fucking some guy. Needless to say he broke it off, and I guess he never fully recovered. Now, hearing that he has an opportunity to start something new, I was more than happy for my best friend. I just couldn't help but worry about what would happen this time...

I finished the last of my coffee and went up to the counter, "Hey Chase, I'm going to head off. Thanks for today man, call me later?"

He looked over, "No problem man. Yeah I'll come over after my shift...See you soon!"

I heard a key slide through the door and the doorknob turn. Chase then walks in with the biggest grin on his face. I set my laptop aside and remark, "What's up super star? Someone looks awfully happy."

He lies down beside me, "I just got off the phone with the guy from the coffee shop I was talking about earlier."

I nod my head, impressed, "Ah. So tell me about this coffee shop dude."

He continues, "Well his name's Caleb. He's a bio major, transferred here last semester from State, and we're going to go to dinner tomorrow night."

I clapped my hands, mocking him, "Congratulations. I hope you two have fun."

He smiles, "Thanks Griff."

I then continue, "So...Are you planning to just go to dinner? Or were you going to invite him back to your room after?"

Chase nudged me, "Geez, Griffin, way to ruin the moment!"

I put my hands up, "Chase. Don't tell me this hasn't crossed your mind. You're not 15 anymore, you know there's more to a first date nowadays than wondering if he's going to kiss you."

Chase shook his head, "Look. If it happens, it happens. I'm not going to push anything. I'll be smart about it.

I sighed, "Thank God. Here I thought I was going to have to give you the sex talk."

Chase laughed, "You're ridiculous. Besides, I don't even know if I want to jump back into sex."

I looked over at him, "What do you mean? Why wouldn't you?"

He lied back, "Because I'm not you Griff, I'm not experienced. I've only ever had sex with three guys, and each time things ended just when we got physical. I always drag my feet and hold out on sex until I know I want to be with the guy. But, never mind, you won't understand."

I leaned into him, "Whoa. Come on man, just because we're not in the same situations doesn't mean that I don't understand you and where you're coming from. All I'm saying is you can't let any of what happened before ruin all your relationships."

Chase argued back, "Griffin, it's more than that. I mean I didn't have sex until I turned 18 and it was with this guy that I only knew for like a week. I just wanted to cross it off my list and no longer be a virgin. And since then, I guess I just want make sure that if I'm going to go that far, the other guy is in it for the long run. Then Zane came along and just when we started to get on that level, I found him cheating on me. I can't just forget all of that and move on..."

I looked out the window and realized that he was right. I guess I'd only known the surface of what Chase was going through and I never bothered to ask him. But here we were, sitting down and he was opening up to me, telling me things that he'd probably never told anyone.

He shook his head, "I guess it's true that your past defines your future. I mean, here I am, walking at the slowest pace possible with every guy when maybe I should be running without regrets. I just can't shake it." I saw Chase turn away, like he was dwelling on everything he just told me. He looked so vulnerable; not like the guy happy guy that I was used to.

I turned over to him, catching his gaze and decided to open up to him like he opened up to me, "Look Chase. You're not the only one with baggage, alright." He look at me, knowing I wasn't going to stop there. "He was the first guy I ever dated. I'm not even going to tell you his name cause that doesn't matter. What does is that he was the first guy I actually had feelings for. We meet at the tail end of my Senior year, he was charming and handsome and just perfect...at the time. Needless to say that things got heavy; we were intimate and within a month of dating, I knew I wanted to be with this guy for however long I could...But I was scared: I had just come out, he'd been my first boyfriend and I thought that getting attached would just scare him away. So I kept it to myself; kept things intact, but casual. And when I finally worked up the courage to say those three little words, he told me that he never loved me. He never planned to fall for me; I was just his rebound, his distraction. And we broke up. I promised myself that I wouldn't get hurt like that again, so I became this...When I moved to college, I told myself that I would be a different person. So, here I am." Chase wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into a hug. I choked up a little, "I guess we're just two old dogs who can't learn new tricks."

He slowly let go, keeping one around my shoulders, "Hey, like you said. It's in the past now. I'm getting back out there, you're turning over a new leaf. We'll move past this. We'll help each other out, Griff, like always."

And just then I felt something. I looked over and saw Chase staring out the window, thinking of moving forward. I didn't see him as the Chase that I knew all this time, I saw him as this guy who just opened up to me and allowed me to open up to him. I felt a pounding in my heart and I shook my head at the possibility of developing feelings for him. There was something about the way he rested his arm around me in the most friendly and platonic way possible that made me want it to mean something more. I just sat there, shaking off the ideas that I wanted to me with him.

He put his arm down and got up, "Well it's getting late, I better get back to my own room."

I stood up, awkwardly standing next to him, "Yeah. I'd better get to bed. And you sir, have a big date tomorrow."

He smiled, "That I do." He then pulled me into a warm hug and I tried to play it cool. He let go, and just before walking out he looked at me, "Griffin. Thanks for everything tonight, man. I'm glad to have you as my best friend." I nodded, knowing it was enough. And as I heard that door close and I lied back onto my bed, I knew that the line we had drawn and vowed never to cross was slowly fading away, and I wanted to walk past it so badly.