I have a huge problem. I'm 22, 6'1, 175 lbs., with light brown hair and grey eyes. I'm a college student at a prestigious university, and I'm studying psychology. I'm an honor student, and I'm an athlete. I work out, play baseball, lacrosse, and basketball, and I'm in very good shape. My parents are rich, so I've never really had to worry about money. I'm pretty much known as a "golden boy", and I always try to do the right thing. So what's the problem, you ask? The problem is that I'm gay, and I could lose everything if anyone ever found out.
The funny thing is, I've never had sex with a man. I've thought about it, fantasized about it, seen videos, read about it…but I've never done it before. My roommate has no idea how many times I've jacked off while thinking about having sex with him. He's hot, so hot that sometimes I can't look at him without getting a hard-on. It doesn't help that he has sex with his girlfriend when I'm in the room. They come in late, when he thinks I'm asleep, and they have sex for hours. He would be shocked if he knew that what turned me on were the sounds HE made, not her.
I've dated a lot of women, all through high school and most of college. I've brought some of them home for holiday or weekends just to keep up appearances. My mother scrutinizes them all, and my father is mostly concerned that they look good on my arm at company functions. Neither of them has ever looked past the surface to see that I'm really not interested in any of them. I mean, the girls are nice and all, and I've slept with them…but they're not what I want. I have sex with them mainly out of a sense of duty, and although they all seem to enjoy sex with me, they have no idea that while I'm fucking them, all I can think about is sucking a nice hard cock, or having a hard cock up my ass. Even when they suck my cock or jack me off, I close my eyes and imagine that it's a guy doing it to me. That makes me come harder and faster than any girl ever could.
Things at school slow down around the holidays, and for Thanksgiving this year I decided to stay on campus rather than going home. I wasn't dating anyone (a nice, sweet girl for my mom to give the third degree to), I had been working at a local bookstore, and I just couldn't face another company dinner. I was tired of being asked when I was going to find some nice girl and settle down, and tired of watching my dad get sloppily drunk and paw at his secretaries while my mom smiled tightly and pretended not to notice. They both protested my decision, but I held firm, telling them I had a lot of studying to do. It was true; I did have studying to do, but not for school. I had decided once and for all to find out what it was like to have sex with a man.
Since I was the only one at the bookstore not going home for the holidays, I offered to work on Thanksgiving Day and keep the store open. The owner didn't expect much business, but there were those few lonely souls who liked to come in and curl up in one of the soft chairs by the fireplace and lose themselves in a good book. It was one of the reasons I liked working at the bookstore – it was not part of a big chain, was in a very old building, and was extremely comfy and cozy. It was very reader-friendly. The owner didn't mind if people came in and sat to read for hours. He made enough to keep things going, and the warmth of his personality and the coziness of the place kept people coming back for more. It was a good place to work.
I left my dorm room that morning to go open, and it was snowing lightly. I stood out on the sidewalk and took deep breaths, loving the smell and taste of the cold air. I was so happy not to be home that I felt elated, excited about going to work and being able to sit in a warm room and read to my heart's content. I was also extremely horny, which I had been for some time in anticipation of what I planned to do over this holiday. My roommate, who had left for home the night before, had spent the previous few nights fucking his girlfriend for hours as I lay in my bed across the room, jacking off. I have a feeling he knew I was jacking off even though I tried to be quiet and not move too much. It excited me to think he knew I was in my bed, stroking my hard cock as I listened to both of them moan and groan as they fucked. I loved to listen to him as his girlfriend sucked his cock, to the things he whispered to her. I imagined that it was me in the bed with him, lovingly stroking and licking his erect cock as he fucked my mouth. It was enough to make me explode.
When I got to the bookstore, the streets were pretty empty. The snow was falling harder, and I didn't expect much business. I went in and started turning lights on, then went over to the big fireplace and started a fire. The lighting in the store was very subtle, with reading lamps next to all of the cozy chairs in order to avoid the need for harsh florescent lights. The overhead lights were bright enough to browse by, but not glaring. I turned the heat up a little bit to take the chill out of the air, then grabbed a few books and went to sit behind the counter and started reading.
I was in the middle of a great murder mystery, one I had wanted to read for a long time, when the front door gusted open and a figure in a long dark coat came in, snow swirling. I looked up, startled. I was so engrossed in the book that I'd completely lost track of time and hadn't seen that the snow was getting heavier. It was falling so heavily that it was hard to see down the street, even though all the streetlights had come on in spite of the early afternoon hour. The tall figure dusted snow off the coat and pulled off the hood, revealing a thick head of dark hair and a pair of startling blue eyes.
"Wow!" he said in a thick southern drawl, "It's really comin' down out there." He pulled the coat off and stood there in jeans, a sweater, and snow boots. As he reached over to hang his coat on the rack by the door, I noticed his broad shoulders and narrow hips, and how long his legs were. I felt my heartbeat speed up.
"It sure looks like it," I said. "What brings you out on a day like this?"
"Oh, I needed to get out of the house for a while," he said. "My wife and I are visitin' her in-laws, and I got tired of watchin' football. Most everybody was snorin', anyway, so I decided to go for a walk. I didn't expect the snow to start comin' down like it is, though. I happened to see your lights on, so I figured I'd sit it out for a while, if that's okay."
My heart sank when he said he was married, but I laughed and waved my arm toward the empty store. "Well, as you can see, it's pretty busy here today. You'll be lucky to find a place to sit."
He looked around and grinned. "This is a really nice place you've got here. Nice and warm."
"I can make you some coffee, if you like. It might warm you up a bit."
"Now that sounds real good, thank you. Is it okay if I look around?"
"Sure," I said, coming out from behind the counter and heading for the coffee machine. "Make yourself comfortable, I'll just be a minute."
I walked to the back to make the coffee, my heart pounding. The man was older than me, probably in his mid-thirties, and was very handsome. He seemed really nice, too. Too bad he was married. I sighed and stood there waiting for the coffee to brew. Just my luck – the one guy who comes in today happens to be married.
I got his coffee ready and went back to the main room, and found him sitting on a small sofa next to the fireplace, reading a book of poetry. Surprised, I handed him the cup and started to head back to the counter.
"Why don't you join me?" he asked. "It's not like you've got other customers waiting on you."
"True," I said, shrugging. I got my book and sat next to him. "My name is Matt, I said, holding out my hand.
"I'm Rick," he said, shaking my hand, and we looked at each other for a long moment. My heart skipped a beat, but he just smiled and sipped his coffee.
