The bubble shattered violently and I turned my head to look behind me as the music, lights and hazy air came crashing back to normal speed. Benji was clamoring off of Gus's lap, eyes darting between Logan and me and the crowd. A rush of fear bolted through me and I looked too, but since we'd ducked past the curtains, I couldn't see anyone and felt a little reassured no one could see me either. Just Benji and Gus, who looked a little perplexed to have stopped making out.
"Hey! Uhhhh..." I said, glancing stupidly down at Logan, who looked both surprised and amused. "I - uh - I..."
"Oh, hell yeah, guys!" Said Gus, seeing Logan and me, but unaware that anything more significant than noticing each other had just occurred.
Benji crossed the lounge alcove in two strides, leaving Gus with a confused outstretched arm.
"Gurl, what the
fuck
am I looking at?" He asked as he slid into the cushions beside me and Logan, wearing the giddiest smile I'd ever seen. "Holy shit, does Josh know?"
"Know what?" I responded, pulling an innocent face and looking back down at Logan. "Oh my god! How did
you
get down there?!" My cornered mind was grasping at straws and had evidently chosen humor.
Logan laughed loudly, breaking the tension in my chest.
"I don't know," he chortled. "Just gravity, I guess."
"Oh. Ha. Ha." Said Benji, as Gus pulled into the seat beside him.
"Look," I said, abandoning the jig, but feeling anxious about Benji's reaction, "it literally just happened. No, I haven't said anything to Josh, so could you please n..."
"Ooooooh," interrupted Benji, holding his hand dramatically over his mouth. "Gurl, this is
high-grade tea!
BITCH!! You have to tell him!"
"What!? Why?"
"Because he'll fucking
love it!
" Benji said matter-of-factly, emphasizing the last words with a flourish of his hand.
"Seriously?"
"Fuckin' YEAH! Absolutely, he would! And honestly," he raised a theatrical eyebrow and looked significantly at Logan and Gus, "between us, I've always kinda had my suspicions about you."
Logan chuckled again, but I was aghast at the idea that Josh's friends had already suspected I might've been kind of gay - though, reexamining my current position, I thought better of protesting. Instead, I chose to silently dismount from Logan's lap, settling down next to him on the couch.
"Suspicions?" Piped up Gus, incredulous at the word given the circumstances.
"Oh right," said Benji, taking pity on him. "Danny, over here, told us all he was straight." He playfully wiggled an accusatory finger at me. "You little bisexual slut, you!"
I opened my mouth but didn't know a thing to say back, so I closed it again and shrugged with open palms instead.
"
*tchyah*
," he scoffed with a satisfied smirk. "Bitch, you really had us going with that whole cargo shorts schtick."
"What?" I defended. "It wasn't a schtick! That's how I actu..."
The sound of the table scraping across the floor cut me off and we all turned to see Josh and Cornelius laughing hysterically on the floor, evidently having both just tripped and fallen on the step to the lounge. Allan and Ty were coming up behind them, clearly shepherding the other two drunken messes.
"Hey," Allan said with lighthearted exasperation. "These two definitely need to get back home, I think Ty and I are gonna take 'em."
I jumped up. "Oh, I'll come with you guys!"
"No, no," said Ty, waving me back down. "We totally got it, you guys should stay and enjoy the night!"
"No, I should come and help Josh," I protested reaching down to the still giggling heap that was my brother to hoist him up.
Allan actually grabbed my hand and pulled me a little away this time. "No, seriously, you should stay," he gave me a significant look. "We- uh... we kinda saw you making out with Logan."
A sudden tide of panic rushed up in my chest.
"Don't sweat it!" He said quickly, seeing the look in my eye. "You've got a couple things going for you - first, Josh was surprised but really excited about it," he giggled, "but also jealous that you bagged a pornstar for your first... well... for your second, anyway," a knowing twinkle passed between us before he cleared his throat to continue, "and second, he's so drunk right now that I honestly don't even think he'll remember anything about tonight. So actually, you can still tell him yourself when you're ready."
"Wow, uh... I don't even know what to say."
"Say you'll fucking close the deal, bitch!" He said conspiratorially and waved Benji over from the couches.
"What do you mean?"
"Boy, you know what I mean," he nudged my shoulder and leaned a little closer when Benji joined us. "How far do you think you're prepared to go with Logan?"
"Ooooh, yes, this. Let's talk about this!" Chimed in Benji immediately. "You, uh, you think you're gonna let him fuck you?"
"What?!"
"Dude, give it up!" Benji snapped in my face. "We all know you're into him! You're literally in a gay club filled with a thousand fags who all just saw you make out with him right behind the DJ. You're not shocking anyone and no one cares! So we're asking
you
, how far do YOU want to go with him?"
"And are you prepared?" Allan repeated.
"I... I dunno," I stammered then looked back at Logan who was chatting with Ty as they both helped Cornelius to a seated position, Josh was already upright, though leaning heavily on his knees for support. Then, with some effort, "I guess I'm just feeling... I dunno, comfortable?... enough with him... to see where this goes...?"
The two of them exchanged glowing looks of parental pride. I rolled my eyes and they laughed.
"Ok, ok," said Allan, resetting his face with some effort, "You're just so adorable. Um... so I guess just make sure you're clean," he touched thumb and forefinger in an emphasizing hand gesture, "foreplay is very important, and so is deep breathing to help you - y'know - relax."
"Oh and lube," Benji added with enthusiasm. "Use more lube than you think you need, especially if you're a first-timer." He added a wink to the last word.
"Uhm..." I tried to absorb this info at top speed. "Right, and all of this is for...?"
"Bottoming, dumb dumb!" Chided Benji. "Logan Brooks is a top-ah." He popped his lips on the last P.
"Oh, yeah..." I said, a little stunned to hear it out loud. "B-bottoming. Right, right..."
My face must have gone pale because Allan reassured me. "Remember, you can always say no."
"Consent is sexy!" They said in unison, looking at each other immediately, "JINX!"
The laughter was a euphoric and jovial tonic to my anxious state of mind.
"And gurl, I'll be around if you need anything, too," added Benji, eyeing Gus over his shoulder and biting his lip. "I'm gonna climb that strawberry blond tree tonight, for real. So, we can all just head back to wherever they're staying together."
"Buddy system," said Allan.