The Babysitter

ASH

"So, what's his name?" Adrian leaned against the door frame of Ash's bedroom; his arms crossed across his chest.

Ash looked up from his text chain with Stefan. They'd been talking about a new employee at his firm who didn't realize the conversation she was having about pooping herself in public could be heard by the entire office.

Cocking an eyebrow at his brother, he asked, "Excuse me?"

"While you are usually glued to your phone, this past week you've been glued to your phone with a smile on your face. Correct me if I'm wrong, but that smile is the product of a boy-- excuse me--a man, yes?"

Rolling his eyes, he said, "Maybe." His lips twitched, unsuccessfully hiding his smile.

"So, what's his name?" Adrian skipped--yes,

skipped

--across the floor and threw himself down on the bed beside him. His fingers darted out to poke Ash in the ribs, but he squirmed away, putting as much distance between them as he could without falling on the floor.

Ash clicked the screen off. "You're annoying."

Adrian rolled onto his side, folding his hands underneath his head. His smile was wide and his eyes were bright with expectation and excitement.

"Oh, is this a secret boyfriend? Like when you were high school and you thought I didn't know that Damen and you were more than friends? Ashton, I know you. I know your tells, so are you gonna tell me? Or am I going to have to accidentally catch you and 'new Damen' and introduce myself then?"

Ash gave his brother a withering look, but his expression never changed. If anything, Adrian smiled wider and made himself more comfortable while he waited for an answer.

With a heavy sigh, he said, "You're insufferable, you know that?"

"Sure." Adrian shrugged.

"His name is Elijah, okay? Are you satisfied now?"

Gently kicking him with his toe, his brother asked, "Was that so hard? And when do I get to meet this Elijah? Or is it too soon? Are you two still talking, or whatever it is y'all do nowadays?"

Instead of answering of his questions, Ash inclined his head toward the door. "You can leave now."

"So rude," he said, but he rolled off the bed. "I raised you better than that!"

"Uh huh. Goodbye, Adrian," he said. His phone lit up with a new message.

His brother stomped out of the room with fake indignance, his nose turned upward.

Ash waited until he could no longer hear Adrian's footsteps before clicking his phone back on. Stefan had replied with a gif of someone laughing followed by

Wait. Are gifs still cool? Or am I being a dad right now?

His smile didn't quite reach his eyes.

The conversation with his brother was just a reminder that the situation between them was precarious. What he and Stefan were doing was fun and sexy; Ash wouldn't trade it for anything, but... what if fun and sexy was all it was? What if fun and sexy was all it would ever be?

He wasn't expecting Stefan to ask him to be his boyfriend, but he thought maybe they'd start hanging out a little bit more. They'd only seen each other once since last Saturday night. Stefan had had a late evening at the office; he'd asked Ash to pick Luca up from daycare. By the time he'd gotten home, Ash had just finished giving Luca a bath and was just about to put him down to sleep.

All Ash had wanted to do was welcome him with a hug and a kiss, but they hadn't talked about what Saturday had meant; so, he wasn't sure if that was okay. Even though Saturday night had been

amazing

, he wasn't sure if the same easiness and serenity existed for them outside of the bedroom.

So, he gave him his space, let Stefan get settled and put Luca to bed while he loaded the dishwasher before excusing himself. Stefan didn't try to get him to stay, but he walked him to the door and kissed him sweetly. He thanked Ash again for picking Luca up and for being patient, and that was it.

And Ash was trying to be. He was trying not to overthink things. He was trying to take things one day at a time.

Which was why he smiled (and released a breath he didn't want to admit he'd been holding) at the text that followed:

I just got off the phone with Renee's mom. She and Renee's dad are going to be in town for the weekend and they'd like to take Luca for the night.

Come over? Spend the night with me? We could...

🤔 What does... mean?

Open for interpretation, but I have some ideas 😏🍆💦.

Ash licked his lips. His fingers shook as he replied,

What time should I be there?

7

It's a date.

It's a date 😘

He tried to push down the hope that burst in his chest. While this was a step in the right direction, it didn't mean anything. This--Stefan using him to explore a new facet of his sexuality--might be all he got. If that was all Stefan wanted, he would continue to happily indulge him because he couldn't stand the idea of him discovering this part of himself with someone else. He just hoped his heart didn't get broken in the process.

***

As soon as Ash let himself in the front door, his nose was graced with the scent of baked bread. There were undertones of garlic and something herbal. His stomach immediately began to rumble.

He kicked off his shoes and dropped his overnight bag by the foot of the stairs.

Padding through the house, he crossed through the living room and the dining room, where the table was set with unlit candles and a single rose as the centerpiece, and into the kitchen.

Stefan was rummaging around in the refrigerator, his back was turned to him, when Ash said, "Hey, lover."

Startled, Stefan turned around with wide eyes, but his expression quickly softened, eyes gentle and smile wide.

"Hi!" he said and crossed the room. Pulling Ash in by his waist, he and kissed him slow, like he was savoring the taste of his lips. "I'm glad you're here."

"Me, too." Glancing around the room, he could see something simmering on the stove top; the oven timer was counting down, and an assortment of half-full bottles and bowls lined the counter. "Can I help with anything?"

"No." He shook his head. "I was actually just"--he turned back to the fridge and opened it, pulling out a bottle of champagne--"about to pour our drinks."

Stefan crossed into the dining room, opening the bottle with a

pop

! He poured a little bit of the light gold liquid into a champagne flute and brought it back over to Ash. He pressed it into his hand with another kiss. "Make yourself comfortable. Dinner is almost ready."

Ash's heart swelled. The butterflies in his stomach were fluttering frantically.

Not wanting to let on how much this meant to him, he said, "You know you didn't have to feed me to fuck me, right?"

The look Stefan directed at him was wholly unexpected. Ash thought that would've caught him off guard, caused him to stutter and flush, but the raised eyebrow alone sent heat straight to his dick. His toes curled in his socks.

"I know," he said, lips turned up in a smirk. "I wanted to. Now, stop distracting me and let me finish. Go. Sit. Be pretty."

Ash chuckled but gave him space. Perching on one of the island stools, he sipped on the bubbly beverage and watched Stefan shuffle back and forth between the kitchen and the dining room. He moved so easily between the two, garnishing the meal with a handful of herbs and spices and carrying the dishes with confidence.

"I can feel your eyes on me," he said, throwing a look over his shoulder.

"I like what I see."

Flashes of a domesticity floated around his head--playing with Luca in on Sunday afternoons while Stefan prepared dinner; waking up on weekends to the smell of freshly brewed coffee and homemade waffles; or a naughty role play fantasy that included Stefan in nothing but his apron. Love would have been the more accurate word, but Ash didn't think it was the right time to go there.

With a sigh, Ash watched Stefan pull said apron over his head and hang it on the corner of the pantry door. He wiped his hands on a dish towel and, with a gentle smile, swept his hand in the direction of the dining room table. "Dinner is now served."

Ash hopped down from the stool and sauntered past Stefan. The lights had been dimmed and the candles lit giving the room a romantic ambiance. His eyes surveyed the spread on the table--a basket of bread rolls, something hearty and red, and a tomato-based salad. Everything looked as delicious as it smelled.

Stefan stepped around him to pull out a chair.

"Why, thank you."

"Of course. For dinner, we have a chopped a Caprese salad, chicken cacciatore, and freshly baked bread with garlic aioli. To drink you have your choice of more champagne or a slightly sweet and fruity Grenache--or, of course, water."

"I will take some more champagne, thank you."

Stefan topped off his flute and took his seat.

His heart sincerely warmed, Ash gently placed his hand on top of Stefan's and said, "Before we dive in, I wanna say thank you. I--No one has ever done anything like this for me before."

"You're welcome." Stefan laced their fingers together. He dropped a kiss on the back of Ash's hand and continued, "I wanted to do something special for our first real night together, but also, I wanted to do something special for you, Ash."

Ash smiled and leaned in for a kiss. He didn't have the words to articulate everything he was feeling in that moment, but he was feeling grateful for this dinner and the man he was sharing it with; appreciated because Stefan definitely didn't have to do this; loved; anxious and terrified that the love he was feeling was one-sided, but most of all, he was so damn hopeful.

God

, he wanted this so badly.

"Let's not let this delicious meal go to waste."

They ate and talked, trading smiles and stories. Stefan told Ash about his first girlfriend (who was convinced she and Stefan were going to get married) and how it felt like every single molecule in his body changed the first time he held Luca in his arms. He wasn't just Stefan Santoro; he was Stefan Santoro, father to the most beautiful little boy. (And if Ash was a bit touchier than usual--laying his fingers on Stefan's arm or linking their hands together any chance he could--it wasn't on purpose; he was simply

enthralled

.)

Ash explained how he felt like he should be doing more at this stage in his life. He was thankful for everything his brother had sacrificed for him that allowed him to live and love and explore at his own pace, but he felt like he needed to figure out what his next steps were.

"What do you want to do, generally speaking? Business? Education? Law? Etc.?"

He shook his head. "I think I wanna do something in design."

Stefan nodded. "I could see that. You're always so well dressed, and I've always been so impressed by the sketches you leave behind when you and Luc color.

"Maybe that's your next step? Take the time to narrow down your focus and go from there, and in the meantime, you can keep babysitting for me."

Ash's eyebrows drew together. "You know I'd watch Luca whether you paid me or not, but I think we might be crossing into some morally grey area with you paying me now that we've, um--you know, now that we're--"

"Yeah. I know what you mean."

Ash tried not to let it get to him that Stefan didn't fill in his blanks, define what it was they were doing, but he wasn't going to let that bring the mood of the evening down.

"You can pay me another way." Standing up, he held out his hand. "Dance with me."

"Oh. Okay."

Stefan stood and placed his left hand in Ash's right. He hesitated placing his free hand anywhere, and Ash understood. Making the decision for him, Ash placed Stefan's hands on his hips and wrapped his arms around his neck.

"Alexa, play "Perfect" by Ed Sheeran."

The opening chords of the song began, and they started slowly swaying side-to-side. Stefan slid his hands around to the small of Ash's back and pulled him in, eliminating any existing distance between them.

Ash laid his head on Stefan's chest and closed his eyes, continuing to move to the music and tried not to let his brain and his anxieties ruin the moment.

This was a proper date night. No kid. Dinner. Dancing with the likely probability of sex afterward, but an intrusive voice in the back of his head kept wiggling its way back to the front:

What if this is it? What if this is all I get?

It made the caring and consideration worse, knowing what he

could

have but unsure of he could keep it.

No

, he said to himself.

Just enjoy this moment

.

Inhaling deeply, he got a hearty whiff of Stefan's cedar scent, currently laced with undertones of sweat and bread. He raised his head and was met by the older man's warm gaze. In this light, Ash could see the gold rings around his irises.

"Hi"

"Hi."

Ash tilted his head up for a kiss. Stefan ducked down to meet his mouth, their lips brushing together over and over again, sweetly and agonizingly slow.

When they broke apart to breathe, Stefan rested his forehead against Ash's. "I don't know how, but I swear that gets better every time."

Shivers ran up his spine.

Ash curled his fingers around Stefan's neck and pulled him back in. Leading with his hips, he pushed him backward until his back hit the dining room wall. Though the impact was soft, Stefan gasped, making it the perfect moment for Ash to slide his tongue inside.

Ash deepened the kiss, sweeping into Stefan's mouth with hungry strokes. He ground his hips forward, feeling Stefan's impressive erection against his own. His lover's hands roamed lower, cupping Ash's ass, fingernails digging in, trying to pull them closer.

Breathless, he wrenched his mouth away.

"Do you wanna--take this--upstairs?" Stefan asked between each breath.

"

Yes

." Ash nodded. "Very much so."

Stefan pressed a quick kiss to his temple, laced their fingers together, and led them toward the stairs.