After the embarrassment of the New Year's Party, I fled to a pre-army induction camp for a year, aka Army Cadets. I tried to clear my head but only finished with more questions about my role in life.
At the time when I left, I tried in vain to forget what had just happened. The drama of my actions at that infamous party was one thing I couldn't hide or live with, but then these photos started circulating of me caught in that act of having gay sex. I thought I was left with no option but to flee and not face the consequences. Like the coward I was.
So, after twelve months at the camp, I thought I had resolved my sub-conscience anxiety and guilt. For the most part of my stay, the only time I had to myself was to sneak off, when my barrack was asleep and jack off at the camp restrooms. This was my routine, until my last night there. When I left with a new recruit's cock in my mouth.
I was given an option, to notify them within six months adrift about my intentions and return to camp, or I will be barred.
So, since returning, I felt anxiety and confusion, so I locked myself in my loft for the first week. The only person I communicated with was my mother, and that was at mealtimes.
Then one day my mother wanted some things from the supermarket. I reluctantly agreed and caught the bus to the local shopping mall.
While walking to the bus stop and traveling on it, I hoped and prayed, that no one from my recent past would notice that I was back. The person I was when I left was a dazed and confused nineteen-year-old wimpish nerd, a year later I returned as a confident twenty-one-year-old with a toned body. I still was that confused little man, but I was now capable of owning my mistakes.
While at the mall, I accidentally bumped into an old school friend (Zayne). I hadn't seen Zayne since the 10th grade, and we exchanged numbers and promised each other to catch up soon. I then waited for the bus from the mall to home.
While walking home from the bus stop near the park that was two blocks from my place, I realized, my old life had moved on, or I thought so. I spotted a ghost of my past.
As I passed the park, I spotted Tiffany with her back against a large tree with a feral-looking girl with long purple and red dreadlocked hair. She didn't see me, as she was too busy with her new friend. She had Tiffany off the ground and against the tree, tiffany had her legs wrapped around her friend's back and her eyes were rolling back inside her skull. Her new friend had one hand inside Tiffany's opened leather pants and was jamming her fingers wildly into her cunt, Tiffany was moaning and oblivious to the world. Her girlfriend was running her tongue across her neck and biting. She reminded me of a cross between Venom from Spiderman comics and a vampire.
As I watched I wondered did they know or cared, that they were putting on a show to the public within the park. Kids were watching and looking confused. Mothers were pulling their children away. Tiffany was lost in her little world, moaning, acting like a banshee, and screaming.
I moved on before I pulled my pecker out and started to jack off. Also, before they spotted me. I still had feelings for sex with women, but the painful memories still linger in the back of my mind, from that party.
After I returned with my mother's shopping, I went back to my loft and tore open my jeans, and I quickly rubbed my cock thinking about Tiffany, her new friend, and flashbacks from a year ago.
A month had passed since I bumped into Zayne before I decided to visit him. He and I used to be good friends, that was before I hooked up with Tiffany, three years ago. I knew now I had to try to forget about the past few years and move on.
What I remembered of that day was it was a hot spring day, I wore a tank top, board shorts, and runners.
We went downstairs to his basement, which was his bedroom. We talked a bit of shit before watching some sports on his TV. He cranked up some music and put on the Xbox. One thing I noticed straight away was his taste in music had changed. Zayne was into grunge and rock music but now he listened to new-age pop garbage. After a few beers, I turned the volume down and tried to drown it out.
We were playing "Call of Duty" when his mom poked her head in, only to say she was leaving for work. That's when Zayne got up and walked her out, before then returning and locking the door, on his way back down to me.
After a few hours of playing video games, drinking beer, and chilling out, led me to need to pee.
When I returned, he was smoking a joint and there was porn on the TV. He passed me the joint as I sat back down. I smoked the joint and relaxed.
After closer observation, I noticed it was bisexual porn, everyone was sucking cocks or eating pussy. He passes me the joint again and I smoked it, but became more curious, as to why we are watching porn and the fact it was bisexual porn.
After several minutes of passing the joint around, and watching two dudes sucking each other off, while the chick finger fucked one of their assholes, I felt uncomfortably horny. I grew a hard-on and tried in vain to hide it from Zayne, but my cock was tenting my boardies. What shocked me was that Zayne was rubbing his crotch and looking at mine.
"I see you like the movie," he said smugly. It brought back memories of when we were back in the 9th grade when we used to do all sorts of stupid stuff together. We would venture into the woods and away from the public eyes. We'd get naked and go for a swim and jack off in the river. Nothing but silly juvenile stuff, we went everywhere together. Until I hooked up with Tiffany and then we drifted apart for a few years.
Then we have today, where I had over a year of discipline, and pent-up frustration, of doing what I was told, my life as he knew it was different now. We were both now twenty-one or almost twenty-one and not in no longer in the 9th grade, but I was still having flashbacks of my shame from that party.
I didn't know how to act when I noticed he was looking at my bulge. Did he or had he heard about what went on a year and a half ago? So, I tried the ignorant approach.
"Look, I'm not into this shit, I think I better go," was my response. Then he ripped his top off and dropped his shorts, and out popped his hard-on. I sat there mesmerized by his wobbling cock, then I looked up and saw that he was staring at me. We then glared at each other before we burst out in laughter.
He then strolled off to grab a beer and another video, as he did, I sat there watching two guys and a girl sucking cock.