Sweet Infatuation

When I was 19 or so I hung around with a wide variety of interesting individuals. Some were prior school friends and others were acquaintances, friends of friends so to speak, who would show up in various venues. One group of guys was a bit older and rougher than some of the others and included a few who were graduates of reform school, "juvey" I guess it would be called now. These fellows were not real troublemakers, nothing like some of the gang members of the late 20

th

and early 21

st

century but they had run afoul of the law at one point in their short lives and paid the price.

One of my friends had an older brother, Wally, that fit this category but who was really a nice guy, someone mixed up with the wrong people at the wrong time, and who was away in the reformatory for about six months. He had three friends from that period of his life that he kept in touch with when he was sent home and if you met them, they would come across as quiet and respectful. The one striking feature of all three was their muscular builds; they were weightlifters and had bodybuilder physiques. Quiet, respectful but clearly not to be messed with from the looks of them.

Sometimes, mainly weekday evenings in the summer, we would get together, buy a couple of six-packs of beer, and ride around in someone's car, checking the different hangouts and socializing. These were simple times and we were prone to simple pleasures. It was on one of these quiet socializing rides that things became a little different for me and the direction of my life was altered.

There were five of us in the car that evening, my friend's brother Wally and one other guy in the back, and I sat in the middle of the bench seat in the front between Gary, the driver, and Jimmy riding shotgun. I felt insignificant between these two big guys but definitely well protected. Jimmy had his left arm on the seatback and his right arm on door with the window rolled down.

As we drove around Jimmy's hand came down from the seatback onto my shoulder and remained there; I didn't mind or object. It was not long before I felt slight pressure pulling me closer to him and also felt the strong muscles in his hand and forearm. It was a strange feeling; an alpha male seemingly claiming his prize and holding it close. I didn't know if I should be flattered or frightened, but one thing was obvious, I wasn't about to push his arm away.

At one of our stops we decided to get out of the car and walk around a bit. As we walked Jimmy stayed close to me and we talked about general nonsensical things and had some laughs. He was a nice guy, sociable and knew a lot of people. It seemed that Jimmy was enjoying the evening and while I was not sure what to make of the attention, it was a pleasant feeling and good fun all the same.

As we headed back to the car Jimmy put his arm around my shoulders making it obvious to anyone looking that we were together. If I accepted this gesture without objection I would have to acknowledge that I was open to his intentions; I could not be seen walking with him like this in public and then try to push him away in private. News of something like that would get around, serve to embarrass him and would be unfair as well. If I accepted his advances what would that say about me? I had a decision to make and not much time to make it. I was certainly intimidated by him but would I allow this intimidation to dictate my action, or lack of action, in the future or perhaps this was what I wanted all along? He was a nice guy and I liked the attention and the feelings that came with it, and also enjoyed being one of the crowd, so I went along without protest.

We were about to take our usual positions in the car and Jimmy asked Gary if he and I could have the back seat on the ride back since we were in the front coming here and we would like a little more room for the return trip. No one objected so we climbed in the back, Jimmy by the door and me in the center position. As we left Jimmy put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me towards him. As I leaned in he took my head in his other hand and kissed me. His lips were soft but his kiss was deliberate. His tongue parted my lips, searching for my tongue in return, and I hesitatingly opened my mouth to give him entry. I felt like I was caught in a vise; I was unable to move, my lips separated to allow another man's tongue to lick mine. This was shear animal power and I was experiencing it for the first time. It was now undeniable that he wanted me and nothing was going to stop him from having me once he made up his mind. I could object, protest this invasion, but would it matter? Would it stop him? Was this what I unconsciously wanted from him? We kissed for most of the ride back home and I didn't resist, becoming more excited and aroused as the ride progressed. I felt myself becoming softer and more pliable, more submissive in my actions as I reacted to Jimmy's unspoken instructions.

The ride was over in what seemed like a short time and before I knew it, I was being dropped off. As Jimmy let me out of the car he told me that he would call in the next couple of days and perhaps we could get together one evening. I said that that sounded nice but as I walked to the house I wondered what I had gotten myself into. Kissing a guy was one thing; it was adventurous, a forbidden pleasure, an experience of adolescence, but what comes next? This evening made me feel differently about so many things and I wanted to immerse myself in these feelings, these pleasures to see where they would take me. There was a subtle change taking place and I wanted to embrace it, encourage it.

True to his word, Jimmy called me a few days later and he said that he would come by to pick me up about 7pm that evening. After the time in the back seat of the car I felt slightly anxious since it would be the first time that we would be alone together. Would Jimmy feel the same about me when he saw me? Would I feel the same about him? There were no friends around 'just in case' and there would be no way to leave even if I wanted to. The thought of opening myself up to someone and starting a new friendship, a relationship actually, and having some fun was exciting but I was savvy enough to understand that this could go wrong just as easily. It might not be tenderness, a few laughs and a couple of beers and this made me anxious. All these thoughts were going through my mind and now I wasn't sure if I wanted to go through with this date after all. But before I knew it, evening came and a car pulled into the driveway. I was ready to leave and shortly walked out of the house in a new outfit; white jeans, a loose-fitting light rose-colored shirt and sandals, and I watched for Jimmy's reaction as I approached the car. It was nice to see him again and clearly he liked what he saw as well; this brightened my spirits tremendously.

As we left the driveway I asked where we were headed and Jimmy said that since his roommate was out for the evening he decided it might be fun to hang out and have a glass of wine together and see where things go after that. Even though I acknowledged that this sounded good I was still a little unnerved by the thought of being totally alone with him but I did not want to spoil the evening by showing my true feelings. Never show your fear!

The ride was short and uneventful and it was not long before we were at his house, which was small, but pleasant and clean. I went into the living room and sat on the couch while Jimmy went to the kitchen and opened a bottle of wine. When he came back he took the position next to me on the couch, his leg touching mine. Immediately I could feel the heat and the sexual tension and my breathing became more nervous, shallow like quiet panting; Jimmy just looked at me with his sexy eyes and had this sly, knowing smile on his lips. Why did I feel like a fox staring into the eyes of a wolf? I wanted to run away but I knew that I was in too deep and could not leave now.

As we drank Jimmy reached up and lightly rubbed my neck. His hand was light and gentle but I remembered how this hand also held my head when he kissed me in the back seat of the car. He could be gentle but he could also be forceful and take charge whenever he wanted; he knew it and I knew it. He said that I looked really good and that the color of my shirt suited me. Then he leaned over and kissed my neck; I responded by inching closer to him and closing my eyes to savor the moment. He kissed my ear and then I turned my head so that he could kiss my mouth.

Jimmy asked if I would like to relax in the bedroom where we could stretch out on his bed and be more comfortable. The suggestion sounded really good and I told him as much when I stood up from the couch. This made him laugh and he said that he never had anyone react so quickly at the mention of going into the bedroom; I felt my cheeks flush as I smiled as well.

Jimmy brought me into his room and kissed me again, whispering how much he would like to see me without my clothes; silently, slowly, I began to give him what he wanted as he sat on the bed enjoying the show. I unbuttoned and removed my shirt and placed it on the chair and proceeded to undo my jeans. As I slid the jeans over my hips the rose-colored lace panties were exposed and Jimmy was visibly pleased. He said that the color and choice of underwear looked fantastic against my smooth light skin; he was mesmerized. After a few minutes I slipped off the panties and stood there naked, a warm smile on my lips as I stared into Jimmy's eyes. Jimmy got up, kissed me and then took off his shirt, exposing a beautifully muscled chest and arms, and stepped out of his jeans. He had a bodybuilder's physique and as he stood naked his erect penis became the prominent feature.

Jimmy took my hand and placed it on his chest, my finger resting on his hard nipple. Slowly I massaged it and then moved my hand over his chest and abdomen, down to his leg, feeling his penis rub on my forearm in the process. He pulled me close and held my head in both hands as he kissed me, not letting me move away. He was clearly demonstrating his control and had no intention of letting me go. Jimmy looked into my eyes and I felt like a prey animal being sized up by a predator. I wanted him but I was still uncertain as to what he was going to take from me in the process.

Instinctively I moved lower on his body kissing him as I went. I knelt down in front of him and looked up into his eyes before taking his penis into my mouth. I let it slide in until the head reached the back of my throat and then I began to move in and out along its length. Jimmy moaned slightly as I continued and he found particular enjoyment when I took the entire length down my throat. He was lost in the pleasure of the moment.

After a few minutes Jimmy put his hands on my shoulders and gently pulled me to my feet. He caressed my neck and shoulders and then he walked around to my back, holding me close while putting his arms around me, squeezing my nipples and rubbing my dick. I moaned and pretended to resist but he easily overcame my weak struggle, picked me up from under the arms and flung me face down onto the bed. Before I could roll over or away, Jimmy was on top of me, my wrists in his strong hands and his muscular body pinning me to the bed while his legs forced mine apart. As I tried to move under his weight I could feel the pressure of his erect penis pushing against my anus and I started asking him to stop; nevertheless, he slowly used his weight to begin entering me. Jimmy laughed a little and shifted his grip on my wrists so that he had both in one hand and then took his other hand and placed it over my mouth. Clearly, there would be no further noise from me.

He continued using the pelvic pressure until the full length of his cock was inside me. I was trembling and breathing heavily, feeling the pain of my anus being stretched wide open, tears were coming down from the corners of my eyes; I felt as though I was being ripped apart. Jimmy took long, deep strokes for a while and then pulled out, giving me a little respite from the pain. After a minute he entered me again, more gently this time, and shifted his hand from my mouth to my throat. The message was clear.

He started pumping slowly and deeply, and then increased the tempo as he was getting closer to a climax. When he came I yelled and tried to struggle free as his cum exploded into my ass but it was futile although the struggle gave me an unbelievable orgasm as well. Once he finished with me, he relaxed and tenderly kissed the back of my neck before rolling me over. I was aching and exhausted, completely drained but strangely satisfied. I had never experienced sex like this before; I felt used and taken, unable to object or stop what had happened to me. On the one hand, I wanted to leave this room, this house, this man but I also wanted to feel him dominate me again, feel his weight and strength, feel his body inside me. Contradictory emotions I knew but somehow I felt complete and wanted more.

Jimmy used a warm washcloth to wipe the perspiration from our bodies and then we lay in each other's arms in bed for a while without speaking. A little later, I could feel him becoming aroused again and I believed that I knew what he wanted. I went from kissing his lips to his neck, his chest and abdomen to taking his hard penis into my mouth, gently licking the head. I moved my head up and down in a rhythm that elicited soft moans and slow movements from his hips. Before long his moans became louder and the movements more pronounced and soon his body stiffened and his penis pulsed, sending a strong, heavy stream of semen into my warm, wet mouth. Jimmy exhaled and sighed loudly while his muscular hands held onto my head.

At the end of the evening Jimmy drove me home and when I was getting out of the car he said, "You will always belong to me you know." I did not respond; I didn't know how to react but I also knew that he was right. Those were the last words that I heard from him and it was with mixed emotions that I learned that Jimmy was killed in a car crash after a botched robbery a week later. While I never had another session with him, I don't know if that was a good thing or not. Was what happened a mutual attraction that led to rough sex, or something closer in part to rape? I willingly entered a man's home, had sex with him and left but when I asked him to stop before he entered me, he did not. Was it consensual? In the end, probably. Some memories are best left simply as memories without complication or analysis since the past cannot be changed. The evening rides were never quite the same without Jimmy and I have never felt the same about any man after him.