I was at my lake house wondering if I was going to have sex that weekend. Although I was a masculine guy who appeared to the world (including my wife) to be a normal married man, I had discovered that I liked to be subservient to men sexually and I had managed to hook up with my neighbor at the lake. I learned that my neighbor liked to have his dick sucked by a man through an incredible coincidence that defied any logical odds. I had posted an ad on Craigslist back when it ran personal ads. In my ad, I offered to suck the dick of a man at my lake house. The ad went out in an area containing 4 or 5 million people and incredibly the guy I ended up with was my neighbor across the cove from us. It was terrifying to have someone I knew learn that I was a cocksucker, but it had worked out great as far as I was concerned.
I managed to suck my neighbor's dick two more times after the initial meeting. My neighbor, John, became more and more assertive and comfortable calling me names while I sucked his dick. He was a big, burly, handsome guy and I was very attracted to him(and his dick). I absolutely loved it. He also had firmly established himself as the "guy" in our relationship who received the blowjobs. Obviously, that left me as the "girl" In our relationship. In this instance, being the "girl" meant I was the cocksucker on my knees. I still found it hard to believe that I had become such a submissive sissy. My neighbor liked to remind me of that fact though while his cock was in my mouth.
It was always hard to meet John for our sexual fun. Both of us were married. Neither of our wives knew anything about our gay or bi activities. Consequently, we had to plan our meetings carefully. At that point, we had met only when we both came to the lake to run errands or do chores without our wives in tow. I sometimes had to make up chores that I supposedly had to do at the lake, but it worked a few times.
The previous weekend I had completely humiliated myself. My neighbor and I were both at the lake with our wives. I tried to get John to slip off and meet me. We both had secret email accounts and we communicated all weekend about a possible meeting. I kept on throwing out ideas about ways to meet. However, nothing was working. On Saturday night, he told me that he would keep trying but he didn't think anything would work that weekend.
I woke up the next morning with an incredibly hard cock. I was dreaming about being on my knees with John's cock in my mouth. Normally, I was very careful about what I put in an email. Both John and I would be vague about our meetings on the off chance that someone might see the emails somehow. We never said anything sexual or lewd in the emails. That all changed that Sunday morning.
I was so horny and worked up that I composed an email that I hoped would convince John to pull out all of the stops to meet me. I also was infatuated with John's big body and the way he treated me. He treated me pretty much like a whore. That was okay by me. Someone had to be the whore.
I wrote the following email on my phone in our living room in the early morning hours before my wife woke up:
"I know it is hard to get away, but I would love to meet you today. I will do anything you want. You can kiss me if you would like that. I would love to be kissed by you! You can fuck me up the ass if you like. I have only let one man fuck me, but you can bend me over and fuck me if you want. I will even lick your ass and stick my tongue up your asshole if you are into that. As you know, I will get on my knees and suck your cock until you cum. You can cum in my mouth or on my face. As you know, I will wear my wife's panties and stockings as I do these things to you if I can get them out of the house. I just wanted to let you know that I will do whatever it takes to make your gorgeous cock cum. Let me know."
I admit I had some reservations about the email. I was a married man with a family and a career. I had always been discreet and careful. This email was making an electronic record that I had become a submissive, sissy faggot.
I had only let one man fuck me. It had been exciting, but I didn't really know how much I wanted to be fucked. I found letting another man fuck me to be totally humiliating. In some ways I liked to be humiliated, but I wasn't sure about it. However, at that moment, I wanted to completely give myself to John. I felt like a total sissy faggot and loved that feeling.
I knew that I was risking grossing John out by offering to stick my tongue up his ass, but I had licked the ass of a girl I dated in college and loved it. My girlfriend would sometimes orgasm as I licked her ass. It was really fun. As a result, I posted a Craigslist ad in which I offered to lick the ass of a man. That is another story, but it worked out well. Well actually, it worked out well if you take into account that I love to be embarrassed and humiliated sexually. My experience is that giving rim jobs certainly does the trick if you want to be embarrassed and humiliated. I was willing to do anything to please John.
Of course, John knew I would wear panties and suck his cock. I was pretty sure that he loved both because he would talk about me being "a panty-wearing faggot" while I sucked his dick. He also reminded me to bring my panties when we were going to meet.
I was also nervous about telling John he could kiss me. He had never kissed me and I knew lots of guys didn't want to kiss another man even if they like having their cock sucked. It made me look needy, but I really wanted to be kissed by him. A big strong executive kissed me in my hotel room one morning when I was on a business trip and I melted into his arms.
Finally, John didn't think he could get away from his wife to meet me. I knew he had been trying, but he didn't think he could do it. I was going to expose my most perverted thoughts to a guy who probably couldn't meet me no matter what I offered to do to him.
Despite all of the good reasons to delete my email, I hit send.
I waited for a response. Normally, John is pretty responsive. I didn't hear from him right away. Then, I didn't hear from him for an hour. Then, two hours. Finally, I went down to the lake and stood on the dock hoping that John would come out to his dock so I could at least see him.
As time passed that morning, I started to regret the email. I had offered to do all sorts of kinky things to my neighbor. I realized that I really had no idea how he would react to my proposals. I knew he could be offended or put off by my nasty email. I sat there thinking that not only did John know I am a cocksucker, he knew I would let a man fuck me and I would lick the ass of another man. He knew I wanted him to kiss me like a little girl. I can remember thinking that I was a fucking idiot.
Finally, around noon I received a response from John. He told me that there was no way he could get away that day. He also said that he wanted to just stick with me sucking his dick. I felt totally embarrassed. However, I was relieved that he didn't tell me to go away. I figured that he thought I was a pervert, but at least he would still let me suck his cock. That was some comfort for a rejected fag.
Now, a week later, I was standing on my dock fishing. I could look down the cove and see John's dock and boat house. I could tell he was at the lake, but I had not seen him across the way yet. I remember thinking that I was a moron to come on so strong to John in the email. I was worried that he wouldn't want anything to do with a guy who was such a perverted faggot. I was shocked that I had shown him what a complete slut I could be. The straight guy I had been for decades was disgusted by the needy offers I had made to John.
Finally, I received an email from John. He said he would like to meet me, but he was afraid that he could not get away from his wife. I was disappointed and worried that I would have another weekend without sex. I was getting pretty frustrated.
Suddenly, it hit me. Night fishing. I suggested to John that we both tell our wives we wanted to go fishing after dark around bed time. I knew my wife would not want to go fishing and I assumed John's wife would feel the same way. Going at bed time would also take off any of the pressure to do things with the wives. I suggested it to John by our secret emails.
To my delight, John liked the idea and told me he would let me know if it worked with his wife.
After dinner, I started telling my wife that I thought I might go fishing. She was used to me going fishing late at night or early in the morning. The fishing was better at night. I slipped into the bathroom and checked with John. He said he could meet me, but he didn't want to meet on his dock. He suggested that we meet on the dock of one of our neighbors who had moved away and had not yet sold their lake house.
I went to our bedroom and looked in our dresser drawers. In my wife's lingerie drawer, I found some tiny little pink panties with little pink bows on the panties. I stuffed them into the pocket of my shorts and told my wife good night.
My cock was hard thinking about wearing the tiny pink panties for another man. I walked down to our dock and pulled some fishing rods and other gear out of the boat house. I turned on a small light over the boat slips and lowered my canoe into the water. I rapidly loaded my fishing gear and tied up the boat. I went back to the boat house where it was pitch black and took off my shorts. I slipped on the tiny pink panties. I wanted to paddle over to where John was waiting for me in just the panties, but I was afraid my wife my come down to the dock and catch me. So, I put the shorts over the little panties and went back to the canoe.
