The stars must be aligned perfectly tonight. I smile to myself as I fold up today's newspaper under my arm and walk out of my apartment whistling. It's the Museum's own fault, tempting me with a recently uncovered artifact as beautiful and valuable as that. The "Serpent's Eye", is what they called it. It's an ancient Chinese treasure with a solid gold setting in the shape of an eye, and this glorious emerald, which was a bit smaller than the Hope Diamond and almost as expensive. Of course, I, being the less-than-typical cat burglar, had to have it.
The unveiling was earlier in the afternoon, and by midnight tonight, it should be in a comfy little Plexiglas box with a thousand and one lasers protecting it. Oh, how I loved a challenge. The museum assumes the first 24 hours are the most crucial. There will be twice as many guards roaming the floors than usual tonight, which added to the thrill. I walk into my bedroom and check over my equipment yet again. As if something could have been sabotaged in the three minutes it took me to make a sandwich and come back.
Perhaps I was being overly paranoid about this job. Granted, it was going to be easy, but I couldn't fool myself. It had been a while since my last robbery. Or should I say…robbery attempt. In all my years as a thief, I have never been caught. Not even close. My last job was a farce at best. I had gotten too cocky and some young armed security guard caught me red-handed. I was lucky I escaped with my life. That was a little over a year ago. I was so distraught over that incident that it took me a while to muster the courage to pull off something new. I couldn't help but think I was getting myself in over my head with this one, but maybe that was the whole point. Shouldn't a thief of my caliber have a comeback this spectacular?
I walk over to the mirror and take a good look at myself, squinting my blue eyes at and messing up my own short, spiky dirty-blond hair. "You…" I point at myself with a stern look. "You had better get your act in gear, Stuart, or you might not come home tonight." I nervously glance over at my equipment and sigh. "No, shut up. Don't you remember having a good feeling about tonight? You can do this." My equipment stares back at me with contempt for ever doubting them or myself. What was I so afraid of? _
Twenty-three hundred hours, and time to head out. When I arrive outside the museum, I peel off my trenchcoat to reveal a skin-tight black full-body suit over my lithe form. From there, I tighten my boots, slip on my ski mask and goggles, belt, supplies, gloves and side satchel to put my beautiful new treasure in. Then, I feel this need to check over my equipment yet again. Why was I doing this? It's almost midnight and here I am worrying about my equipment failing like an amateur. "C'mon, Stuart, pull yourself together, old boy." I reassure myself. "This is a nothing job. You'd be more challenged by breaking into an airport locker."
I crouch down on a rooftop overlooking the floor my treasure is on. I look through my night-vision binoculars and I see some guards roaming around, but not as many as I expected. I can't see the treasure itself, but I know it's in there. I had memorized the floor plans and I knew every possible escape route. I even guesstimated how much damage I'd take if I leaped from the seven-story window. I went overboard with the planning on this, just to make sure I was safe.
I leap onto one of the landings and crawl through the hallway window. Right where I knew a blind spot would be. I wire into the camera and place a small chip inside. The camera's image skips quite nicely, masking my stealthy intrusion. I hug the walls and turn corners tightly. I hear the distant chuckling of the night guards, but my life-finder doesn't pick up any heat signatures for at least a hundred feet. Sound must really carry through these cavernous halls. I make the left turn into the ancient China exhibit and immediately under another camera. I wait a few moments while it turns away from me before inserting my special chip. I check the life-finder once more before proceeding. The signatures are moving closer, and it was too late to turn back now, so I had to get this over with on the double.
Moving to the edge of the exhibit, my precious treasure was in sight. A quick spray from one of my specially made aerosols reveals the criss-crossing of the thin red lasers. I move up against the wall to approximate the height of the lasers, slip the cat claws on and begin scaling the wall sideways. It would take a while, but once I was at the Plexiglas box, I could quickly hide while the guards pass and be out the door with my treasure long before the next patrol.
When I get inside the maze of lasers, I leap down from the wall and turn to face my precious jewel. It was more beautiful than anything I'd ever seen. I suddenly remember myself and quickly glance at the life-finder again and duck down behind the stone base of the Plexiglas box. The guard is _right_ there. I hear his footsteps pass by, and then suddenly slow down noticeably. I can't even breathe. His footsteps stop altogether. I can feel my heart pounding in my throat. After a short while, the footsteps start up again, and I wait until they sound far enough away before slowly glancing up. He's gone. Whew.
I take out my wire cutters and de-alarm the last-resort tripwire they had lined around the box lest the lasers prove to be ineffective. I then use my mini torch to melt the hinges in the box's trap door. Then, I reach in and grab my beauty, shoving it into its new velvet drawstring bag and into my side satchel. And off I went, back over the lasers and I was home free. I was right, the stars really were aligned perfectly tonight. I muse to myself with a smile as I make that right turn back into the hallway where I came in.
"Well, hello there." A male voice accompanied the berretta barrel that was aimed at my head the moment I turned the corner. I gasp aloud and almost drop my bag. "Smooth operation, I must say. You almost got away with it." I glance up at the man's grinning face, half obscured by shadow and a blanket of short brown stubble.
"How...did you…" I stammer, not understanding what I could have possibly done wrong.
"How did I know you were here?" He retorts playfully, and his facial features reflect how sure and cocky he is that he has me dead to rights. I nod and he gestures with his head toward the inside of the room. "That spray you used lingered. I'm not supposed to be able to see the lasers." The sharp realization in my eyes, which is pretty much all he could see of my face, must be utterly priceless, because he begins to laugh.
"Holy fucking shit…" I shut my eyes tight and lower my head. I can't believe I've been caught. My mind is on overdrive, trying to come up with a way to get out of this.
"Yeah, you aren't very bright for a thief, but you're pretty brave for trying it tonight of all nights. So I guess I'll give you brownie points for effort. Now take off the mask and get on your knees." He cocks the hammer back and I reluctantly follow his orders. "Good, now get those hands where I can see 'em. Above the head, that's it."
I could kick him in the balls, but he'll just shoot me. I could try to knock the gun out of his hands, but at this close range, it's a longshot, and I'm not exactly the ninja master of the apocalypse. I think that maybe I should try to appeal to his greed, maybe by offering him a cut of the profits, but if he's on the up and up, I didn't need attempted bribery on my rap sheet as well. Maybe I could appeal to his sensitivity, by pleading with him to let me go. It was about as good a shot as any.
"Look, man," I look up at him with the most pathetic look I could muster. I hadn't taken off my mask yet, so if this worked, I could still get out of this relatively unscathed. "You really don't want to do this. I wasn't here to hurt anybody, I swear. Here, I'll give you back the item and we'll call it a day, alright?"
His deep-set amber eyes halfway hidden behind a curtain of stringy dark sienna bangs narrow just that little bit. "Sure, I'll take the jewel back. But I'm not letting you go."
"Oh, c'mon, man. Please don't call the cops. I've never done anything like this in my life!" I lie, hoping to get some pity from him. "I can't get arrested for this, please!"
