I have written extensively about the relationship with my first Dom. I had sought out a punisher on Craig's list years ago. Straight male seeking a punisher - male or female - to administer the whip. I got several interested parties - all men - and narrowed my choice to Robert.
He was an older gay male who understood what I needed and we met despite my misgivings of meeting a stranger under those circumstances. For nearly six months we met on Wednesday evenings at his house. Our sessions lasted an hour or more. I stripped naked and he'd mete out punishment with a belt or prison strap. This was as sexual as things got but one evening he asked for me to keep a journal. A journal he would read for his pleasure. And I agreed to the idea.
The following week he read a few pages prior to my punishment. I had confessed in writing my need for total submission - meaning I needed to be of sexual service although I was not attracted to him or any man. I just felt like the pain he delivered was him working for me. I wanted to turn over my body so he could satisfy himself sexually. It didn't make a lot of sense to me but I felt it would be the right thing to do. I also confessed I'd been using a plug and dildo on myself for the better part of a year.
Roberto set down my journal after finishing and helped me to my feet. We walked to his den where I would be punished. Unlike the previous sessions, he worked me over and led me to an ottoman where I was guided to all fours. That evening he penetrated me anally and would continue to do this after every session.Another few months had passed and I showed up at the usual Wednesday evening session. This time Roberto had stripped to his underwear prior to my punishment. He was always fully dressed but I could tell he was feeling extra horny for some reason. My punishment was maybe ten minutes of a belt lashing and then he led me to the bedroom and to my knees.
He positioned himself so that his cock was at eye level to me. He was fully erect and as he pulled his cock from his briefs, I closed my eyes and mouth. I did not want to service his cock. I had told him months before I had no interest in that. On that particular evening he wasn't having any of that. He bumped my nose and lips with the tip of his cock. I opened my eyes to see his big balls waiting for me to comply.
"No," I said. Roberto took a deep breath.
"You're being disobedient." he reminded me. I said nothing and closed my eyes again. "Disobedient boys get punished harshly. Is this what you want?" Still... I was silent. I did not know how to answer him but I did NOT want his cock in my mouth. My asshold is far enough removed from me but there is something very personal about taking his member in my mouth.