That Empty Feeling

A young man is turned onto gay butt play and hopes to find his way back to the straight and narrow.

This is a tale of male-on-male sex with some non-consensual elements as a young man is coming to terms with his sexuality, so if that offends, please look elsewhere.

The setup for this is a bit long, but our hero is really struggling to come to terms with his inevitable submission. This is my first story posted online so please feel free to comment and any constructive suggestions are welcome. I hope you enjoy this tale of male submission.

"Oh, fuck! Not now!" I swore as I the remote slipped off the arm of the recliner and clattered across the floor. The RC vibrator up my ass continued to pulse and thrust at its maximum intensity, pushing me over the edge! I grabbed my painfully hard cock tighter as it blasted a second load of cum over my belly and up to my chin. Damn! I had wanted my jerk off session to last longer, but without the remote I wasn't able to keep the vibrator from assaulting my ass canal with all it's might and pushing me over the edge to a second earthshattering orgasm.

After I caught my breathe, I paused the gay porn I was watching, laid my laptop on the coffee table and wiped the cum off my belly with some tissues. Reluctantly pulling the recliner back to a sitting position, I got to my feet and waddled to the bathroom to clean up with my little friend happily buzzing and thrusting deep inside me every step of the way.

I easily extracted the robotic cock from my well used ass as it continued to thrust and buzz angrily in my hand like it needed another ass to fuck until I hit the off switch. WHEW! Even though I had wanted it to last longer, that was still an awesome jerk off session! I cleaned myself up and as I was washing off my vibrator the shame started. What the hell was I doing?

For the record, I am straight! OK, in my college days, I had some drunken mutual jerk off sessions and once received a BJ at a glory hole at an adult bookstore, but I simply have no interest in dudes...not that I have any issue with gay guys. Whatever floats your boat and any port in a storm, right?

I guess that's what got me into my predicament.

A few months ago, I heard about a new sports bar, so I took an Uber one night to check it out. It turns out the place was alright, but not really worth the trip. I had been to better places closer to home. Since I was already there, I decided to make the best of it.

A guy a little older than me struck up a conversation at the bar as we watched the game and we were enjoying each other's company, having some brews and knocking back a couple of shots. It started getting late and he suggested we go back to his place for a nightcap. I guess I was pretty buzzed so I easily agreed.

His place was only a short walk away and soon we were sitting on his couch watching the end of the game and tossing back some shots of tequila. The next thing I knew, he placed his hand on my crotch and started feeling me up!

"Whoa, dude! Sorry but I'm not gay."

"I don't care!" he smiled as he started to open my jeans. "Just sit back and enjoy the ride."

Before I could object, my hardening dick was engulfed in his warm mouth! Next thing you know, I WAS sitting back and enjoying the ride. Damn, he was good! I closed my eyes and enjoyed his tongue playing on my shaft. I gasped as he just dove in and swallowed all my seven inches to the root like a pro! He yanked my jeans and underwear to my ankles for better access as he dropped to his knees before me.

Unexpectedly, he pushed my knees up to my chest and started lapping and sucking on my balls. I moaned and spread my knees to give him better access, but then he dove lower!

"FUUUUUCKKK!" I moaned loudly as his tongue attacked my asshole. Some girls had stuck a finger up there during a blowjob, but this was the first time I had been rimmed. It was fucking amazing!

"Feeling good?" he chuckled.

"Fuck, yeah! Don't stop!" I moaned back. He eagerly dove back in lapping me like a Saint Bernard going after peanut butter. I moaned and squirmed my butt against his probing tongue, but then gasped in newfound pleasure when his tongue suddenly breached my ring and plunged INSIDE!!!!!

"OH MY GOD!!" I moaned wantonly at this latest unimagined pleasure. I mindlessly grabbed his head and pulled it tight to me, insanely trying to get more of his amazing tongue even deeper inside me. He grabbed my butt cheeks in a strong grip and pulled them apart, opening me up so he could easily fuck my ass with his tongue! I moaned and squirmed beneath him as I rode wave after wave of the forbidden pleasure that he was inflicting on me.

Suddenly he pulled away and easily flipped me over onto my hands and knees with my face pressed against the back of the couch. "Damn, I had to get me some of that hot bubble butt as soon as I saw it." he said hoarsely as he kneaded my buns. I was happily expecting to feel his lapping tongue again and I wagged my butt at him in invitation. But the next thing I felt was his cock going straight up my ass! He just rammed into me without any warning and started rabbit fucking me!!!

It was insanely painful and I yelled "OW! Stop it!!" I managed to pull away, but only after he had enjoyed a half dozen strokes in my ass. I swore under my breath as I pulled up my jeans and underwear and bolted for the door. I called for an Uber as soon as I got outside his building and was never so happy to get back to my little one-bedroom apartment.

I stripped down and took a very long hot shower as soon as I got inside, trying to wash the whole experience away. I expected to pass out as soon as I got into bed, but my head was awhirl. Was I just raped? I hadn't consented to having my anal virginity taken, that bastard had stolen it from me. But I had also begged him not to stop when he was rimming me. I hadn't protested when he flipped me over into a doggy style position either. In fact, I had wordlessly egged him on in expectation of a probing rim job.

I wrestled with the question and finally had to concede that while I may have been violated without my express consent, I hadn't actually been willfully raped. But that left me with a much bigger problem that I had been mentally evading all night...I actually enjoyed it!!!

The hard truth was that had it not hurt so much, I probably would have let him take me. His cock punching rapidly deep in my ass had been incredibly pleasurable and the memory of the sensation was already haunting me. My confidence in my heterosexuality had never been so shaken. My head tried to just mark it up as just a drunken escapade, but it would turn out that my butt had other ideas.

A couple of days later I was feeling horny and while I was in the shower, instead of washing my butt with the washcloth, I had an evil thought and rubbed the whole bar up and down my butt crack. The sensation was awesome! It was almost as good as being rimmed. As you can imagine, it wasn't long before I breached my ring with a soapy finger. I was so tight I was surprised that anything larger had ever been able to gain entry.

It soon became part of my shower routine to slide the soap gloriously over my hole before sawing a couple of fingers in and out of my ass while jerking off to the memory of being rabbit fucked. But afterwards, these sessions only seemed to leave me feeling empty and unsatisfied. I needed more than a finger up there. It wasn't long before I graduated to a long thin dildo, then a vibrator until I finally graduated to fucking myself with a thrusting vibrator.

My taste in porn selections when I was playing with my ass also evolved along with my toys. I had started out with my usual straight porn, but then I started viewing pegging videos where a hot babe would ream out some straight guy's ass with a strap on! The trouble was that the gals all were either too gentle or bored when they were fucking the guys and the guys seemed like they were faking their enthusiasm at having a plastic cock up their butt. So of course, I eventually caved and started searching for gay butt porn. Wow! While there were still a lot of scenes with bored actors faking it, there were also a LOT of scenes of built guys enthusiastically ramming some poor moaning slim dude's ass HARD! I could truly identify with the bottoms who looked like they were loving and hating it at the same time.

Something that bothered me, but also helped me get into this kind of porn, was that a lot of the bottom guys kind of looked like me. Apparently, there was a term for guys like me in our twenties with guy next door looks, scruffy brown hair, a lightly hairy athletic body and a cute butt. I guess I was an OTTER. Although if I shaved my body smooth, I could almost be a TWINK...

OK, I was 27 and 5'-10", so I was a little too tall and long in the tooth to be called a twink, but I still had a trim 30-inch waist from my college soccer days and my shaggy hair gave me a boyish look. That I physically resembled the guys getting plowed made it easy to imagine myself as being in their place and that my toy thrusting tirelessly into my butt belonged to one of those big studs.

After a couple of months playing with toys that never seemed to be able to recreate the actual experience of being mounted by another man, I hesitantly decided to finally try the real thing. I know it sounds lame, but I thought that if I sampled the real thing just once that I could get this out of my system and move on with my straight life. The next thing I knew, I was searching hookup apps for someone to fuck me. There was no shortage of big guys with big dicks willing to take my virginity - for real this time! Concerned that the experience could put me on a slippery slope into a gay relationship, I decided to look for an older guy who was just looking for a good time. Eventually I found a 40-year-old married man who was willing to be gentle for my first time and was also willing to engage in just a one-night stand. Just a quick cum and go! Perfect!

At lunch time on Tuesday, I got a message from him that he could hook up after work. I eagerly agreed and hit send. It didn't take long for the import of what I had done to hit me. SHIT! Was I really ready for this? Since I had agreed to host, he had my address and would be eagerly knocking on my door in a few hours! Having been ghosted myself, I hated to wimp out on him at the last minute and decided to see this through. I was a nervous wreck the rest of the day.

I raced home after work to get ready. I gave myself an enema so I was clean up there, took a shower and used the syringe from my vibrator to pre-lube my butthole. I closed the blinds, tidied up and laid out some condoms and lube in my bedroom. With one eye on the clock, I struggled with what to wear. I could just throw on some sweats and a tee shirt, but that seemed kind of tawdry. I wanted to make a good impression and also wanted to wear something that would accentuate my butt, but not make me look slutty. My khaki shorts! They were casual and fit my butt perfectly. The buzzer rang. SHIT! He was here. I buzzed him in and quickly slipped into my white CK briefs, khaki shorts and a red polo shirt that accentuated my pecs. The doorbell rang just as I stepped into my boat shoes. OMG! This is it!!!

I felt like I was playing a real-life version of mystery date as I turned the doorknob and swung it open. GULP! We both raked our eyes over each other appraisingly. Suddenly I felt like one of those little twinks. My "date" finished raking his eyes over me and smiled like a hungry bear. The term "bear" fit him perfectly! He was at least four inches taller than me and fifty pounds heavier. He had a full close-cropped salt and pepper beard that matched his crew cut.

"H-Hi," I stammered, offering my hand. "C-C'mon in..." Shit! Did my voice just crack?

"Thanks" his voice was deep like a bear too. My hand felt small and soft in his big paw. He looked like he had just come off a construction site. His jeans were well worn and his sweatshirt had a company logo on the left pec of his barrel chest.

"C-Can I get you a beer or water?"

His blue eyes twinkled as he smiled at my nervousness. "Water sounds great."

I went to get us a couple of bottles out of the frig. "Did you have any trouble finding the place?"

"Piece of cake." He replied as I bent to fish the waters out of the frig. "Speaking of cake, nice butt!"

I must have been redder than my shirt as I nervously handed him a bottle. He took a swig. "You really are new at this, huh?" he smiled.

I smiled back. "Is it that obvious?"

He chucked me under the chin. "Don't worry. I'll go easy." His thumb stroked my cheek as he started to lean in. Alarm bells went off in my head as we looked into each other's eyes. Is he going to kiss me? I didn't sign up for this! Instead of pulling away, my eyes closed in submission. Contact! I felt his lips press against mine and his beard scratched my smooth cheeks. He put his water down on the counter and I gasped as his tongue slid between my lips. His free hand wrapped around my lower back and pulled me into an embrace as his tongue dove deeper. I put my bottle down too and I had one hand against his chest as he pulled me into him until our bodies were pressed together.

I found myself melting into his embrace even though I was well aware that I was assuming the classic female pose for a first kiss. His tongue was fully exploring my mouth and I moaned submissively as I returned his kiss. Part of me was screaming to pull away but when his big strong hand slid down to cup and knead my ass, I completely surrendered myself to this powerful man.

He finally broke the kiss and reached down to peel my shirt off. He growled hungrily at my chest and bent down to suck on my left nipple. I groaned at the sensation while he grabbed my butt and roughly kneaded my cheeks like he owned them. He came up for air and pulled off his sweatshirt, revealing his hairy barrel chest. He pulled my head toward his right pec and I sucked and teased his nipple with my tongue and teeth like he had done to me. It felt so weird to worship a hair covered chest. A few minutes later he grabbed my butt and sat me on the counter so we were at eye level and breathing heavily in lust.

His hands and eyes explored my thighs, chest, arms until his hand grabbed the back of my head. He looked at me, smiled and simply said, "Beautiful boy..."

I smiled bashfully at the compliment as he kissed me again. I had never been called beautiful before, but he seemed to mean it sincerely and it made me quiver inside. His kiss was gentle and tender this time until he broke it off and asked me simply "You ready?"

I gulped and nodded dumbly. He smiled and helped me off the counter. With his strong hand gripping the back of my neck he guided me towards the bedroom like a sheep to slaughter.

I could feel the strength in his hand and meekly allowed him to steer me down the hall into my bedroom. The sun was setting so the only ambient light came from the stained-glass lamp on my dresser. I had expected him to guide me to the bed, but he turned me towards the dresser mirror instead. "Kick your shoes off," he instructed. As I complied, I watched in the mirror as his huge paws ran over my shoulders to cup and knead my lightly haired chest before following my treasure trail down to my shorts. We both studied our reflection as he unbuttoned my khaki shorts. I looked so small compared to the bear of a man standing behind me! I could feel the pleasant warmth emanating off his massive body behind me, his course forest of chest hair on my shoulders, his soft hairy belly against my smooth back and his hard cock pressing through his jeans against the top of my butt!

He unzipped my fly and let my khaki shorts slip down my legs to puddle around my ankles, leaving me nude except for my white classic CK briefs. I kicked my shorts aside and he looked me in the eye as he purred in my ear, "Nice! You are really rocking those tighty whities, beautiful boy!" I watched in the mirror as one paw cupped my bulging basket and the other slid around back to cup and knead my left butt cheek.

I inhaled audibly at the sensation and the erotic sight of me being felt up by this bear of a man. "Papa Bear!" I blurted out without even thinking. Where the fuck did that come from?

He looked surprised and then chuckled, "Guess who's bed I'll be sleeping in, beautiful boy?" My new Papa Bear sat down on the edge of my bed, his bulk causing it sag to a new low. "Take my boots off," Papa Bear instructed.

I dropped to my knees and started to undo his laces. From this angle he looked even bigger. "Maybe he has more like 75 pounds on me?" I wondered as I pulled his boots off. I could tell by the smell that he had worked and sweated hard in these all day. It was like releasing a cloud of blue-collar masculinity and strength into my white-collar habitat. Papa Bear raised his foot and I got the message. I pulled his socks off his strong wide hairy feet and placed each sock in the corresponding boot and tucked them neatly under my bed. I immediately flashed on one of my old girlfriends saying, "He can park his boots under my bed anytime!"

Papa Bear must have liked how I treated his footwear with respect because he playfully tousled my shaggy hair with a big paw and smiled, "Good boy."

I beamed up at him like a happy puppy. I LIKED being a "Good boy".

Papa Bear leaned back and spread his legs. His meaning was clear. With shaking hands, I leaned forward and started to unbuckle his belt. OMG! This was really happening. I was releasing the cock that was here to FUCK me. It was like an out of body experience as I watched my hands unbutton his jeans and unzip his fly. Papa Bear lifted up and I pulled his jeans and underwear down his legs. His rock hard eight incher slapped against his hairy belly.

In one motion, he sat back down on the edge of the bed as he lifted me up like I weighed nothing and sat me facing him on his lap. He pulled me into a bear hug and a deep passionate kiss. We both pulled out all the stops, with our tongues dueling hungrily and our hands freely groping each other's sweaty bodies. He was kneading my cotton clad butt with his big paws when suddenly he poked a big finger against my hole, causing me to squeak in surprise. He broke the kiss and smiled, "Your butt looks so hot the way it fills out those briefs." Apparently, my Papa Bear had an underwear fetish! His finger kept teasing me, "Do you have more of these?" He pulled on the seat of my underwear. I nodded. "Good. Cause I'm gonna fuck you through these." I felt his fingers pull and easily tear an access hole for his cock in the seat of my briefs. Then I felt a thick finger slip through the hole and slide between my cheeks before breaching my ring. I gasped and wriggled on his lap as Papa Bear sawed his thick finger in and out of my pre-lubed chute. Before I could adjust to the intrusion a second finger was added, stretching my rectum open. I moaned loudly and held onto Papa Bear for support as I flopped around on his fingers like a puppet.

"Yeah, you're ready for a good fucking, pretty boy." Nobody ever called me "pretty" before either. Was he teasing me? It didn't matter. When this bear of a man called me pretty, I

felt

pretty! He stood up, easily lifting me and without effort dropped me in the middle of my bed on my hands and knees. He grabbed my pillows and stuffed them under my torso. I looked over my shoulder nervously as he climbed onto my bed behind me. The mattress gave to new depths and the bedsprings groaned under our weight as they were tested to new limits!

Papa Bear's knees spread my legs and I stiffened when his hands gripped my butt. "Easy, my beautiful boy..." he soothed as he ran a big paw up my back like I was a skittish colt. It worked and I relaxed into my pillows. He pressed his hand between my shoulder blades, I got the message and dropped to my elbows, presenting my ass to him for the taking. Then I felt it. His blunt cock slipped through the hole in my underwear, slid between my cheeks and kissed my asshole! I gasped as he pressed forward. I remembered the lessons I had learned from my toys and pushed out like I was taking a dump. My ass opened and half his cock slid in! Don't let the stories fool you, it was very uncomfortable, but I managed to push back again. His cock plunged all the way in and it hurt like hell! I groaned in pain and Papa Bear lay down on top of me on his hands and knees. His warm, hairy chest and belly pressed down on me gently and he whispered in my ear, "You got it all, pretty boy. Just relax. I'll go nice and slow for you, until you're ready for more." I nodded in consent.