San Francisco, California 2010
Happy Birthday to me!
Joshua Barrett sang the celebratory tune to himself as put the finishing touches on the chocolate cake that he baked for himself. Today he turned seventy and he wanted to celebrate the evening by inviting a few friends and neighbors that lived in his complex for a birthday dinner. He dusted. He vacuumed. He even went as far as put up a few balloons and streamers around his apartment to get into that festive mood.
His mind had been so preoccupied that he almost forgot to change the tablecloth and put up a centerpiece. He went into the closet of his bedroom and dug out some old relics from his trunk. A knick-knack here. A brick-a-brack there. Tchotchkes everywhere. His fingers accidentally grazed something flat at the bottom of the drunk and he pulled it out. It was a photograph. Then he remembered....
*
Stonewall Inn, New York City 1969
Thirty year old Joshua needed liquid courage. Concealed in the shadows of the lamplight, he watched several patrons enter the establishment. He debated whether or not to follow and go in with them but hesitated. This place was rumored to cater to people like him. People who considered themselves different and enjoyed the company of others of a certain variety, it was at this point that his curiosity got the better of him and he made his way across the street to the Stonewall Inn.
He approached the door and knocked. The sliding peephole withdrew and a pair of menacing eyes looked him up and down in his sports coat and corduroys and answered.
"Password," said the deep voice.
"I don't know the password," Joshua replied.
"You're probably one of those Alice Blue Gowns!" the voice boomed. "No password. No entrance. Go away!"
"Relax Max he's with me," commented a voice behind Joshua.
Joshua turned around and saw a handsome looking stranger with a mustache wearing a leather jacket and pants smiling back at him. The stranger parked his motorcycle near the sidewalk and walked up to the door.
"Christian he needs to know the password to get in," interrupted the voice. "Them's the rules!"
"Fine," replied the biker named Christian and pulled Joshua aside and whispered some words in his ear. "Now tell Max the bouncer."
"Uhh Pink Pride?" Joshua blurted out. The pair of eyes disappeared behind the peep hole and the door opened allowing him and Christian inside the club.
Joshua's eyes scanned the room as he observed the people inside. Men danced with men. Women with women. Men dressed in female clothing while women wore men's suits and hats. For once he felt like he belonged. A tap on the shoulder woke him up from his trance.
"Okay buddy, I helped you out and you owe me a drink," announced the stranger named Christian. The biker took his arm and pulled him toward the bar where Joshua paid for the bartender for two beers. His eyes returned to the patrons inside. "First time, huh?"
"I'm sorry?" answered Joshua attempting to make conversation.
Christian lit up a cigarette and blew a ring of smoke around them. "You've never been to a gay bar before, have you?"
"No I haven't. I was just curious," he said.
"Yeah you're just my type. Fresh meat," Christian grinned. He chugged his beer and pulled Joshua by the hand. "Come, I want to show you something."
Christian led Joshua throughout the club and up three flights of stairs. They finally came to an emergency exit where he pushed open the door and dragged Joshua with him. Joshua realized they were on top of the roof of the building and he took in the evening scenery and the gorgeous view of the city.
"This is beautiful!" he commented.
"I know the owner so he lets me come up here," Christian informed him. "I sometimes come up here when I want to be alone."
"Are you alone a lot?" inquired Joshua. His face blushed. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to pry. You don't need to answer. It's none of my business."
"It doesn't really matter," said Christian. "I just don't care anymore. Once you reach being thirty, you just don't give a fuck any more. Yeah I'm alone a lot. It's hard not being able to yourself. To not have the world understand you. So do you have a name?"
"It's Joshua. Joshua Barrett." He introduced himself. "I know what you mean Christian. You have to hide being homosexual. It eats you up inside."
"Exactly Joshua," Christian went on. "It's like we can't be ourselves. We have to always pretend all the time."
"Yeah, I'm tired of pretending too," confessed Joshua. "I just want the chance to be with someone and not be judged for it."
"Does your family know?" asked Christian. Joshua turned his head toward the night sky in silence. "Oh. Sorry, didn't mean to dredge up anything personal."
"No it's okay," Joshua reassured him. "I haven't told anyone. I don't know how they would react. I've always been the apple of my family's eye so telling them I'm a homosexual would break their heart. How about your family? Do they know?"
"Yeah," Christian bluntly answered. "It didn't go over too well and we're no longer on speaking terms. It's fine. We were never a real family to being with. I'm better off alone."
Joshua gulped nervously. He was crossing some personal, painful territory of a complete stranger and regretted his question. He tried to change the subject but Christian beat him to the punch.
"Can I ask you something Joshua?" asked Christian.
"Yeah sure."