Stephen

As a kid, I was effeminate and people bullied me for being me, gay. I didn't have any concept of "gay" until I reached my teens and realized what being gay meant. I decided I wasn't like that, so I tried to act straight and toughen myself up. I also tried bulking up some muscle, but that was just not what I was made of. I remained slim, but I tried so hard to act masculine around everyone.

It was effective as the teasing and bullying reduced, and eventually stopped. People who knew me as that effeminate gay kid in the past, when they saw me in my late teens always commented they thought I was very different and that they always thought I was gay. I just smiled and pretend everything was okay. Also then, I started avoiding people I knew and who knew me as that kid because they would always remind me of me being effeminate and gay. It was most embarrassing when I was with a girl and suddenly someone blurted out they thought I was gay and was shocked to see me with a girl.

Secretly though, when I was exploring what being gay meant and stuff, I accidentally exposed myself to these unspeakable things on the internet. Gay porn. It was accidental at first, so I immediately closed the browser. But that little sight I saw on the internet was ingrained in my mind, the images never leaving my mind. So every once in a while then, I search for some gay porn and jerk off from them.

But I was hypocritical and told everyone and myself that I wasn't gay. I had girlfriends to prove it. I played basketball, even I was shorter than the regular guys you see in that sport. It wasn't professional basketball though, just me and some friends playing balls. I flirted with girls, had sex with girls, played guy sports, just did almost every stereotypical closeted gay did before coming out. But I had never had gay sex though, not even gay online dating. I was too afraid of being "found out". So masturbation and gay porn only satisfied my gay calling. And every time I spurt my gay cum all over, I would feel guilty and promise myself I would never fantasize gay sex again. I would last around a month, or two, of not fantasizing gay sex, but I could never deny the urge when it became so strong.

After college, I found work and had girlfriends. My latest one though, she started hinting me about marriage and having a family. I just couldn't do that still, because I had so many things to do. So I started being lame and lazy with her and eventually, we broke up. I made myself so disgusting, flirting with other girls, over-drinking, not responding to her texts or calls. She was okay at first, but then she got tired and eventually decided to break up with me.

At work, I was paired with a beautiful girl and we started hitting it off at first. She was so flirty and cute, but she was in a long distance relationship. So eventually, we became friends, and best friends even. We would go out after work sometimes and eat dinner in restaurants, usually fast food. Then we became drinking buddies. There was one thing I was good at, is to make friends with girls. We became best friends when we would talk about almost anything. She would spill out whatever was in her thoughts, and she was also a very nice lady because she always wanted to hear what I have in mind as well. She would pry on my thoughts, experiences in life, to the point I shared with her even some of the most intimate details about my relationships. One thing I have never shared with her though, it's my sexual attraction with some guys.

Our best friendship took to another level when she would tell me about her crushes, and her sexual thoughts on random guys we saw while eating or drinking beer. She would say in my face how she would want to fuck a guy sitting next table, or one of our co-workers made her tingle. She would whisper to me how horny it made her seeing this particular hot guy in another department.

I felt like I was her girl best friend, but I was okay with it. It made me horny hearing her thoughts about hot guys and the cocks. She said at one time the taste of cock was overrated because cocks tasted simply like nothing. She was talking about blowjob. I laughed it off, but it made me horny just hearing her talk about blowjob. At one time, she had sex with another co-worker and told me everything about him. The co-worker, as he said, had a small cock and was under-satisfying. She pointed to another guy and said that guy had an average cock.

She would talk about cocks and her fantasies about the cocks of random hot guys we see. And there was only one cock she had been wanting to taste, the cock of that particular guy. His name was Stephen, a tall guy of about 6 to 6'2". He wasn't that bulky, but you will see he did spend time at the gym. He stood so tall and handsome, and alpha, and made her wet, as she claimed. There were times when we would bump into each other and we would make casual talks. He was so handsome and I could see why almost all the girls swooned at him. Even me, my heart was swooning for him, just that I was kneeling before his glory in my dreams.

Everyone's heart was broken when news was spread that he had impregnated a girl, and I heard from the talks around that that girl was ugly and was so lucky, and maybe drugged him to sleep with her. She soon gave birth to the disappointed of all the jealous girls, including my best friend.

But him having a kid made his sexual appeal even stronger, as the girls' ovaries exploded at the thought of him babysitting his babies and them as the mothers. While me, I was only salivating in my dreams, and also having my faux ovaries exploding at the thought of him faux impregnating me and faux giving me babies.

That was the first time I did it, put a finger in my ass. I just couldn't resist the thought of him exploding his cum inside my ass that I started fingering it. It started with a finger, then two, then three. And at the height of me being horny for a real cock inside my ass, I bought a dildo online. It was the very first time I acted on it and I was so scared somebody would find out what I did.

When I first got the dildo, I kept it at the most secret part of my closet for a week and denied to myself that I ever bought one. But the thought of Stephen (and some other guys) sawing their big cocks in their girls' pussies and dumping their cum inside them weakened my defenses, and the fingers just weren't enough.

I was so horny one Sunday night when I took out my dildo, and started fucking myself. It was so painful at first and I could only get the head of it inside. I would move just the head in and out and made myself cum without touching my cock. I threw the dildo after feeling the guilt, but bought another one just a week after. Dildoing my ass became regular and at one time it got so intense I didn't realize the whole dildo was inside me, which immediately sent tingles on my cock sending love juices all around.

I thought having a dildo was enough, but it wasn't. It only made my urge for having a real cock inside me stronger than ever. I started creating profiles in these online dating sites, but nothing was ever successful because I was too scared to show a picture of myself. I was also scared of having an unknown stranger come over, or meeting over some hotel or his place because it wasn't safe. It could be a murderer or someone with HIV/AIDS and didn't know it.

Many lonely nights were spent with me watching these guys online spray their delicious spunk on the wall, the floor, their shirt, their abs, on somebody else's cock, asshole, vagina, mouth, etc. I wish I was one of them. I wish I was the one sucking them. I wish I would be dominated over, bent, spanked, fed with cum, creampied.

Porn was my only gay sex. Porn. Gay sex stories. Gay videos. Straight guys jerking for their girls. Etc etc. Until I watched this very interesting random gay porn. It featured a very juicy fat cock, with a chiseled body, and a very familiar face. Stephen.