I combined the two parts with some editing. Let me know if it makes the cut...
"Please stop texting me. We are over. Why can't you just move on like I did. You're such a fucking loser!"
Those words from her last message were burned cruelly into my memory. Closing my eyes, I could still see her face vividly, remembering every imperfection perfectly. But her last message to me were devoid of any warmth or feelings. Reading it, one would never have guessed that we had spent two years together as a couple. That I had loved her, and still continue to love her, even after the humiliation she put me through.
And, now in retrospect, it seems like it was all a fucking show on her part. Free board and room for her while she fucked around to her hearts content. Only now, after the objectivity had been stripped from the memories, does it makes sense that it always felt as if I was the only one who put my heart and soul into our happiness. Sending flowers. Messaging her to say I miss her. Only after the soul crushing humiliation did all the pieces of her twisted puzzle fit together.
How could she kiss me in the evenings after sucking off another guy? How callous did she have to be to climb into our bed at night while still leaking cum from her fuck session earlier at work.
The longing and crippling feeling of loss was slowly merging into an ice cold numbness. Almost as if I had injected Novocaine directly into my heart. Her last message managed to turn the love I felt for her into a black void filled with hatred. But even against my better judgment, there were still specks of hope which flared up every now and then, briefly illuminating the void.
The only inkling I ever had of what a coniving bitch she was, was when she sent a message two weeks ago, just before lunch, saying she will be moved out by the time I got home from work. Nothing more. And all her things were gone when I got home. Exacerbating the humiliation even further, she had left all the jewellery and other gifts I had ever given her in a small pile in the middle of the bed.
She didn't reply to my frantic texts or calls. When I went to her offices, I was told I am not allowed in, and if I persisted they would call the police. And she must have used the basement parking to avoid me waiting outside her offices. Only after a week did her BFF take pity on me and told me she had been dating her manager for the last six months.
"Fuck her and fuck this!" I screamed into the darkness filling my head. Reaching for my mobile on the nightstand, I flick through to one of the dating apps I had downloaded.
"Fuck her! Fuck her! Fuck her!" I continue screaming into the darkness. Swipe left. Swipe right. Most times I swipe left as the girls closest to me just want happiness and an upstanding guy. Someone from your typical romcom. And all I want to do is fuck. Fuck without regret. Blow my load, get dressed and go on with my life. To try and forget and move onto the next one.
Swipe left. Swipe left. I groan and fling the phone next to me on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. I was tormenting myself with thoughts of her having sex at the moment, when my phone pinged softly to notify me about a message received. Without moving my eyes from the ceiling, I reached for the phone again and brought the screen to life. A message from a dating app. Opening the app, I go to the messages.
Mark (56 M) sent you a message.
WTF! Mark? A guy? I roll onto my stomach and open it.
"Hey sweet cheeks. Came across your profile and am guessing from your terse description of yourself, you seem to have had a breakup recently. Nice picture though. Can I share a little secret? Get laid. Doesn't matter who or what. Just blow your load with someone, and it will get easier."
Furious I type my reply, angry about the fact that he had guessed my situation so easily and feeling even more like a loser in the process. Does he go around offering unsolicited advice to guys on dating sites.
"Listen Mark. If I wanted advice from an old fart like you, I would've gone to my dad. I'm 23 and a GUY, and you're 56, and a GUY. If you want, I can recommend a few gay dating apps."
Feeling pumped up with my witty reply, I rolled onto my back again, waiting for his pissed off response, if at all. And feeling even more shitty for being hit on by an older guy. Well, I think I was being hit upon. My phone pings again, notifying me of a reply
Picture Received
A picture? I open the message and feel the warm blood flooding my face. There, on my phone screen and in all its glory, was a picture of a hard cock. Foreskin rolled back. Cock head swollen to a dark, glossy purple with a moist looking slit. My face feels like it was a beacon in the dark room. Besides my cousin a couple of years back, I've never seen another guy's hard cock. Ok, porn doesn't count. You don't interact with those people. So, it doesn't feel personal. Or intimate. Or as wrong as looking at this picture does.
As I tap the reply box to tell him that I'd be reporting him, I make a startling discovery. My own cock is rock hard inside my sweatpants. It's hard from looking at another guy's cock. A much older guy. As I lay there trying to figure out what the hell was wrong with me, another message arrived from him.
"It doesn't matter if you fuck or get fucked, just as long as you blow your load and have fun. That's the first step to getting over a breakup. So, here's the deal. I stay alone, and according to this app you're about 10 minutes away from me. Here's my location pin and mobile number. Pop in if you are curious about moving on or just want to have NSA fun without anyone knowing. Mark"
A location pin pops onto my screen followed by his mobile number. As I toss the phone onto the bed and hurry to the bathroom to look in the mirror, I try to make sense of this feeling of excitement. Albeit a sinful excitement. An extremely naughty excitement. Like I'm going to do something which I should never have even contemplated of doing. Committing a mortal sin.
My emotions are in such a turmoil, that I don't even notice my hand inside my sweatpants, stroking my swollen cock. Am I really that fucked up at the moment or did his picture open the door to another side of me which I didn't know existed, a door I had kept closed without even knowing. Was she right? Am I a loser? Either way, I was fucking horny at that moment in time, and as a plus, my mental state was of the opinion that my ex could go fuck herself. Turning away from the mirror, I remove my hand from my sweatpants and look down at the sticky tendrils of precum between my fingers.
Picking up my phone from the bed, I turn it to stare at his cock again. A tight feeling manifests in my chest, something I haven't experienced in a very long time. Anticipation. A yearning feeling for something. Loneliness. Lost in thought, I ask myself if I would be able to touch his cock or even suck it. A random stranger. A male stranger. Which were much older. As if flipping a mental switch in my head, I slip on a hoodie and sneakers without contemplating my future actions any further. Hurrying down the stairs to the apartment parking, I get in my car and open the pin location to get directions. I start the car and join the late traffic. Off on a hookup with a guy. A new low for me.
The disinterested robotic voice from my phone informed me that I had arrived at my destination. Realisation of what I'm about to do causes my nerves to start acting up. But my cock is hard inside my sweatpants again. Throbbing. Leaking precum. With a shaky hand I dial his number and listen to the ringing. His voice, when he answered, made me jump in my seat.
"Mark hello."
"Uhm, hi Mark" I suddenly realised I never told him my name and had used an alias for my profile. So, I act on instinct and just blubber away like a complete idiot.
"It's uhm, its sweet cheeks here. You, uhm, said I should come over if I needed to move on." I slowly exhale "or want to have fun?" Forgetting to breath altogether, my world is focused on his reply.
"Yeah, come on in. I'll open up." His deep voice somehow dispel almost all of my misgivings in coming here, and I slowly drive up to his house. Keeping the switch off in my head before my sanity could take over the lead from my horny state, I get out of the car and walk, trance like, up to his door. Light falls upon me as the front door opens and I slowly look up at Mark.
Tall. He is taller than my 5'7" by a head. He is lean for his age. No beer belly on his frame. He wears stylish glasses. Clean shaven. More grey hair visible than his natural black hair. Fuzzy chest. Not like a primate or something. Just enough. The corner of my mouth slowly lifts in a sardonic little smile as I realise I had a preference when it came to chest hair. Who knew?
He's wearing shorts and a loose fitting t-shirt. Planted apart, his legs were muscular. The legs of an athlete. My eyes travel up and briefly rests on the quite noticeable bulge in the front of his shorts. For the second time that night I feel my face light up with a heavy blush. WHAT THE FUCK is wrong with me?
Realizing that I've been staring without saying a word, I look up to meet his eyes. Unsurprisingly, he had also been ogling me. The look of approval on his face at what he was seeing causes my cock to start hardening in my sweatpants again.