Chapter Twenty - Keeping It Real
What would they talk about? Aidan was dragging his feet a little as he walked from the car to the door. He knocked and waited patiently. In the silence of the evening, he could almost hear his heart beating fast. Nervously, he wiped his palms and smoothed down his suit in the process. He had a mind to turn on his heels and run away, no matter how childish that would look.
Heathcliff opened the door, terminating his internal debate. Aidan had troubles looking up.
"Come in," Heathcliff said gently and made room for him to walk inside.
He still didn't look at his host as he passed by him. Heathcliff didn't make a move to grab him and kiss him the soonest the door was closed like on previous occasions. Instead, he was silent.
They were both silent, and Aidan could feel the quiet resting heavy on his shoulders. He needed to break it.
"I brought the, um, list. Feel free to look over it. This one comes straight from our research lab, as per protocol requirements. I think you will find there everything you need, but, of course, if you have any questions, or you need any assistance, I am available."
He walked to the nearby table and placed his briefcase on it, to take out the paper and put it carefully on the shiny surface. Heathcliff was still not saying anything, and it was unnerving to be the only one babbling.
"I will look over it. But we have more pressing matters to discuss, about you and me," Heathcliff eventually said.
Aidan didn't reply. Instead, he fiddled with the list of ingredients, trying to make it sit flat, and smoothing down a turned corner. What would Heathcliff say next? That he considered their deal a mistake? Would he tease him again and have fun at his expense? Heathcliff wasn't this cruel, at least not on purpose. Although he had known him for only a few weeks, Aidan was not so biased to hold anything against him that wasn't true.
"First of all, I apologize."
Aidan's ears twitched. Had he heard right? "What for?" he managed to say with some difficulty.
"For teasing you. I see how that isn't fair. Will you please forgive me?"
Heathcliff's voice was even, slightly calculated, but seemed profoundly sincere.
"There's nothing to apologize for. I ... well, I believe I exaggerated."
"All right. I have a mind to tell you that maybe your reaction was warranted given the situation, but I won't pretend that I know that better than you."
Aidan turned to look at Heathcliff. "Where is Heathcliff Stone? Are you perhaps a doppelganger?"
Heathcliff began laughing. "Now who's teasing who?"
Aidan smiled. He felt awkward enough without Heathcliff getting all serious. In a way, Heathcliff had never dealt with someone like Aidan, inexperienced, never having been in a relationship, and all that jazz. But the thought that he could be the one to make the famous influencer all serious and maybe a bit nervous seemed ludicrous. It was up to him to diffuse the situation.
"I'm sorry I walked out. Just that ... Can I just ask for one thing?"
"Sure," Heathcliff replied.
There was plenty of distance between them, but Aidan could sense Heathcliff's presence, filling the room, like it was all around. It didn't feel overpowering, but reassuring and comfortable in a way.
"Let's just keep it real. We have a deal, right? I mean, we're both getting what we want without any of these ... complications. I know you're a natural teaser, and it's not fair of me to tell you this, but could you please stop teasing me?"
"Done," was the curt reply.
"Um, okay," Aidan said.
Why did he feel disappointed? Wasn't it what he wanted, for Heathcliff to stop telling him he liked him without meaning it? Maybe he wanted Heathcliff to tell him he liked him while meaning it. But that was not possible. So he needed to settle for this.
"But I want something in return," Heathcliff said.
"Of course."
"I want you to tell me what you would like to get from this deal of ours. So far, it has been only about me and what I wanted. I want to hear you speak up."
Aidan blushed. "Um, I'm not sure -"
"Are you comfortable sleeping here most nights? Do you want your weekends to be free of me? Are there things we did that you're not comfortable with? Should I stop calling you bunny boy?"
"No!" Aidan almost slapped one hand over his mouth. "I mean, I have nothing against you calling me whatever you want."
"Even if it's Sparky?" Heathcliff wiggled his eyebrows playfully.
Aidan rolled his eyes. "Maybe we could do without Sparky. The other things, I guess they're fine, too."
"You guess?" Heathcliff looked him right in the eyes. "You should be sure."
Heathcliff was only fair, but it was hard for Aidan to go ahead and admit what he wanted. For as long as Heathcliff had been the one to push the boundaries between them, he had been so busy trying to build fortifications made of sand that he had forgotten what his heart truly wanted.
His heart just had to suck it up, but that didn't make Aidan feel like less of a fraud. He was like a burglar sneaking inside a house, riding the fridge, stealing the valuables, and ready to bolt at the first sign of a key twisting in the door. An honest person would have admitted to his feelings. Aidan was afraid to do that. As much as nice a person Heathcliff seemed to be, being told by some inexperienced guy that he was his crush could not make him too happy. Or worse, it could make him feel entitled to Aidan's feelings without returning anything more than a bit of teasing.
He looked ahead with confidence he didn't actually have. "I am sure. I enjoy spending time with you, Stone. There are worse ways to spend my time, I guess."
Now he behaved like an entitled brat. Were he Heathcliff, he would send himself packing that very moment. Yet, nothing of the kind happened. He risked one straight look at his host, and his heart beat faster.
It wasn't only that Heathcliff was handsome. That was a given, and Aidan knew that. What he didn't realize was that Heathcliff could smile like that. It wasn't a smirk or a satisfied grin. It was ... He had no idea how to describe it. It made him feel like he was the only one for Heathcliff, that very moment. There wasn't one ounce of teasing in that smile. Only fondness, with a dash of melancholy. It suited him, and it was not the first time that Aidan thought Heathcliff deserved his very romantic monicker, given by his mom.
It was intense, too, even in its endearing undertones, and Aidan had to keep himself from walking over to him and wrap his arms around him.
Damn. The thing he feared most had happened anyway. He was falling, and maybe he hadn't yet hit rock bottom, but if things went like that, that would happen sooner rather than later.
But maybe it wasn't so bad, Aidan thought, as they continued to look at each other, without feeling for a moment that the silence between them was awkward or anything like that. He deserved a first love, after all, and, while maybe it wouldn't be heroic like in some tragic love story, it would definitely be hopeless.
"Would you like something to eat?" Heathcliff was the first to speak.
What could he complain about? They would just keep it real. And the fact that Aidan was secretly crushing on his bed partner of convenience would be well kept under wraps. In the meantime, he could just as well enjoy himself.
"What's cooking?" he said playfully.
"Come with me, and you will see." Heathcliff offered his hand, and Aidan hurried to take it. "Then we'll sleep. I believe I tortured you enough."
Aidan wanted to protest, but he felt a bit drained. Maybe playing around with your crush was meant to be exhausting.
***
Heathcliff had a mind to congratulate himself for keeping from shouting from the top of his lungs how cute Aidan was and tell him again how much he liked him. But the series of trials was just starting. Even if Michael had told him he could have fun with his bunny boy in the bedroom, he believed it a sign of good faith only to keep his hands and other wandering parts of his anatomy away from Aidan's delicious rump. At least, for the time being. Bunny boy had to come and tell him directly what he wanted. If that meant waiting for who knew how long, he felt brave enough to do so without complaining.
"Heath," Aidan called hesitantly, "are we just going to sleep?"
"Yes," he replied promptly.
"All right. Just checking."
Aidan could not hide the disappointment in his voice at all, and that was more than satisfying. Bunny boy needed to show that he wanted to be with him, too. That meant he needed to voice his desires, loud and clear.
With that decision in mind, Heathcliff leaned over and kissed Aidan quickly on the cheek. "Good night, Aidan," he said softly.
"Good night," Aidan replied and sighed right away.
Heathcliff pretended not to notice. Aidan had the ball in his court. Now he needed to learn how to play without a coach since that was his decision.
He was almost asleep when a timid hand came to rest on top of his. Good thing Aidan could not see him smiling. Maybe that was the rule to apply with shy pets. A good owner knew to let them get accustomed to the environment and their master in due course.
It would be painful to sleep in the same bed with that handsome young man. But Heathcliff had always been ambitious. If that were what had to be done, he would embrace it without protests or delays.
