I grabbed my ice cream cone and nearly collapsed on the bench from exhaustion. It was a hot day. Hotter than most summer days. It was 97 degrees and pure sun. Usually I can handle heat, but after walking from the gym, it was a lot to handle. Every day I walk past the skatepark on the way home from my workout. Thankfully there was some sort of vendor there most days selling cool drinks or sweets. Today was a hard day from the gym, so anything cold felt right. Some guy was making a competition out of squats and lifting. Usually, I don't do those sorts of things, but almost everyone in the gym participated so I felt inclined. It would feel weird if I was the only one who didn't at least try.
As I relaxed on the bench, someone caught my eye. There was a girl with shorter hair skating and being a bit of a show off. I'm not the most skater inclined guy in the world, so pretty much anything looks impressive to me. She was wearing black fishnet leggings and two different sized thigh highs. She had the iconic converse shoes many skaters wear. The black jean short shorts fit her legs in just the right way. With every twirl she did on her skateboard, the closer I paid attention. She did seem surprisingly toned for a girl. Not like in a weird sexist way, plenty of girls are buff. She also had shorter hair for a girl. She got closer to me and it confused me more. Was she really a girl? Then I heard "her" voice. It was definitely a guy. My face flushed red. 'Am I really checking out a guy?' I asked myself. I shook the thought out of my head. 'No, I'm watching everyone, not just him,' my mind was running with all of the justification I could find.
The more my mind ran, the more this guy was showing off. Each time he went up the ramp, he added another spin or fancy move. I swear he looked right over at me and smirked multiple times. My suspicion was confirmed when he went up the ramp, flipped and held himself with one hand, all the while staring directly at me. I looked behind me and saw I was the only one watching in this direction. 'He's actually kind of hot,' I thought and immediately turned ever more red. I'm not gay. I like girls. I felt my pants tighten, and I quickly started walking off. I did my best to cover my crotch without making it look like I was. The skater boy knew though. I glanced over a few times while walking away. He was smirking and watching me the whole time.
What the hell is wrong with me? Why was I checking a guy out? Well, I thought he was a girl at first, so it's not really my fault. Is it? I was still checking him out after that though. I started thinking about all of the times I've gone through these exact thoughts. But everyone has gay thoughts right? Most guys are curious, right? Maybe they don't think about how big a guy is under his towel. Or think about whether kissing a guy is different than a girl. Or getting random boners when around guy friends. I shook the thoughts from my head. It's a Friday, maybe I should go to the bar with Danny. I decided to text him.
Hey
whats up bro
You got any plans today?
not much
prolly just hang
hbu
Let's go to the bar tonight!
alr
how bout 7?
Sure. Need a break from work.
cool
be there around 7
Thanks bro.
np
The rest of the day I tried my best to distract myself. It's crazy that one gender ambiguous guy is making me lose it. I tried watching a movie, but it wasn't distracting enough. I tried playing games on my Xbox, but the thoughts of this guy popped into my head. Thoughts of what it'd be like to have him under my desk blowing me while I played games. I decided to lay down and try to nap for a couple hours. When I laid down, thoughts of him immediately followed. I felt myself getting hard thinking of him. The way those short shorts clung to him, showing off his legs. His fluffy brown hair and intoxicating smile. He looked so smug that I was checking him out. He's like the perfect combo of feminine and masculine. My hand slowly began rubbing my throbbing crotch. I thought about his cute ass. As I stroked, my thoughts turned more questionable. I thought about his cock. Wondered if he was big or small. Wondered if he shaved it. Wondered if he was cut or not. The hornier I got, the faster I rubbed. I pulled out my dick from my underwear and started stroking. My tip was already dripping and throbbing like crazy. His body was so hot. My heart pounded hard and I felt my face flush. I knew I was close.
Suddenly my phone rang. It was Danny. Shit. I quickly pulled my underwear back up and answered the phone. "Hey bro I'm outside," Danny said.
"Oh. It's a little early, right?" I asked.
"No bro it's like 6:45 man." I checked my phone: 6:48. Shit he's right.
"Alright man."
Maybe it's a good thing he called me. If he walked in while I was jerking off I don't know what I'd do. I slowly got softer as I got ready. I went into the bathroom and quickly washed my hands and splashed my face with water. God I can't believe I was jerking off to a guy I haven't even met. I'm not even gay. It's because I haven't had sex in a while. That's what it is. Hopefully going to the bar will set my mind right.
Danny took us to the regular bar we go to: The Drunk Tank. It was a relatively new bar, only opening 2 years ago, but Danny and I go there a lot. Friday night was busy as usual. The line goes across the entire length of the building and we both take a spot. Most girls were dressed in revealing outfits and many of the guys had half of their chests out. I felt almost overdressed with my shorts and t-shirt.
We sat at the bar and ordered drinks. Danny got his usual Coors Light, but I don't know how anyone actually likes beer. The hard liquor tastes way better. I got the Mojito I usually drink.
"Dude, do you ever try anything different?" Danny asked.
I scoffed, "says you. You get Coors Light every time. For years."
"Well it used to be Bud Light until the fags ruined that."
I chuckled, "dude you can still drink it."
"It's not the same." I forgot that was the whole reason he started drinking different beers. All because they did an advertisement for a trans girl. Almost all the guys I knew stopped drinking Bud Light after that.
We had a few more drinks before Danny wanted to play pool. We were both pretty bad at it. Mostly because we only played at the bar when we were drunk. Danny walked over to me and pointed towards a group of guys that walked in.
"Oh fuck, here come all the cock lovers." They did look like they were probably gay. Many of them were wearing fishnets and more revealing and colorful clothing.
"Yeah, I think Friday night this bar is a gay bar. Forgot about that." Danny sighed and went back to playing pool. After about an hour of playing and drinking, we were both pretty drunk. Danny was slurring his words and I couldn't hit the ball straight. The bar filled up with more and more guys, some of them looking over and Danny and even me.
"Man this is getting weird. I've seen some of these guys here on the weekdays. I didn't know they were queer."
"They could just be curious." I should've kept my mouth shut. Why'd I say that? Danny turned towards me.
"It's still weird. I don't get how any guy would like cock. Getting it up the ass. That shit is nasty."
"I mean. It's gotta feel good right? Like, they do it constantly so."
"Fuck no man."
"You don't wonder if it makes them feel good?"
"Nah bro, it's fuckin gross. It's never made me curious about any of it. There's probably some guys we know that have thought about what one of us looks like naked. Look man, we should go. I'm getting weirded out." Danny was getting fed up. Maybe it was weird that I was curious about this stuff. It was definitely weird that I was getting a hardon from Kai. Shit, it's not my fault he looked like a girl.
As we made our way through the bar, I realized how drunk I really was. I could barely walk straight in front of me without stumbling. Danny was doing a little better than me but not much. It might've been the drinks, but some of the people around looked kind of hot. The shorts they were wearing. The guys with their abs sticking out of their shirts. A few of the guys gave me a smirk or a wink as I passed them by. I was weirdly getting turned on.
We emerged from the crowd and walked out the front doors.
"Goddamn it man. We should've left right when those fags got there."
"Bro, chill. We're out."
"That doesn't weird you out?"
"I mean, not really." Danny shook his head and we got in his car.
"Let's go to another bar."
"I dunno man, we're already kind of drunk." The next thing I knew we were at another bar.
I don't remember how I got home or when, but I woke up the next day with a pounding headache. The next few days I avoided the skatepark. There's a route that's almost 30 minutes longer and I decided to take it for the weekend. The thoughts of that skater boy hardly left my head though. I thought not seeing him or the skatepark would make me think about him less, but it felt like I was thinking about him even more. Maybe I was overreacting about him. Everyone gets weird gay thoughts sometimes. That doesn't make me gay. The lack of sex is what made me jerk off. Besides, he's probably not even into me.
On another hot day, I caved in and went to the skatepark. This time there were even more people at the park than there were on Friday. The vendor was selling popsicles with alcohol in them. I would get one, but I'm too low on money from going to the bar. As I found a bench to relax on, I saw him again. He still wore the two different sized thigh highs, but this time his outfit wasn't as black. He had white jean short shorts this time and a white crop top with a colorful painty design. He wasn't showing off as much this time with his moves, but damn his body looks even better. I can see his toned torso better and his smooth arms. As I continued staring him down, he finally glanced over towards me. Right as he did, his face lit up. He looked genuinely excited I was there. Instead of showing off like he did last time, he disappeared into the crowd by the vendor.
He emerged from the crowd holding two popsicles in one hand and his skateboard in the other. My eyes averted his body as he walked closer to me. I don't want to be that weirdo that just eye fucks random strangers at the park. Sometimes I can't help but to look at some people. He smirked as he got closer to me. He stopped a few feet in front of me and leaned into his hip more.
"Didn't think I'd see you here again," he said in a sweet but confident tone.
"Oh yeah haha," I laughed awkwardly. "Just needed a break from the heat." He reached his arm out with the popsicle in it.
"Want this?" I shook my head no and he sighed. "Well I bought it just for you so you probably should take it."
"Thanks." I grabbed the popsicle and he took this as an invitation and sat close. Close enough I could feel his leg against mine.
"So what's the hottie's name?" My face flushed red. He thought I was hot? I know I have a decent body, but hearing it from him made my heart skip.
"Uhm M-Marty." The nerves were really showing.
"Hi uhm Marty, I'm Kai," he giggled. "I've seen you walk past before, but recently I haven't seen you." Shit. Did he catch on? There's no way he knows, right?
"Oh yeah. Uh. I just--." He lightly elbowed me in my gut.
"I'm kidding! You don't need to explain yourself to me Marty-boy. I thought I might've scared you off."
I awkwardly laughed. "What do you mean scared? I'm not scared." I was more defensive than I wanted to be. He raised his hands like he was at gunpoint.
"Okay, not scared. Got it."
