—— Boy meets Boy ——
It had been maybe an hour in the waiting room when this asshole sitting opposite me started to really drive me crazy. What is it with people who don't realise you can't just play games on high volume in public?! Especially in a fucking hospital emergency department where there were already crying children and gossipy mums and some drunk idiot who obviously went way too hard way too early.
I glared at the guy playing whatever it was. Despite Kiwi sensibilities of never actually saying anything directly to an asshole, I had been tutting and sighing for almost half an hour and he hadn't responded so I was on the verge of asking him to turn it the fuck down when the unmistakable sound of a Grindr message rang out through the room. He glanced up and the tips of his ears turned red, but naturally the sea of mothers and children and the guy puking his guts out didn't notice. I caught his eyes almost immediately though. I raised my eyebrows. He chuckled and cleared his throat. He quickly muted his phone.
I looked him over and slowly put my magazine to the side. It was too fucking funny to stay mad at him. I leant over.
"He hot?" The guy glanced up at me again and smiled.
"Fucking incredible." He replied, obviously as bored as I was if he was willing to talk to me. He leant forward awkwardly and showed me a picture. I scrutinised it.
"Well yeah." I said, taking in the chiseled abs and broad chest. "That's William Seed. Looking hot is his job."
"Oh." The guy's face fell. "Dammit. I'm guessing William Seed probably isn't in Newtown?"
"I'm guessing he doesn't need to trawl Grindr." The guy sighed and slumped back in his chair.
"Thanks anyway." He said. "Ash. Nice to meet you."
"Dusty." He laughed.
"Really?"
"Really. And shut up, I didn't name myself." He rolled his eyes.
"My parents named me Ashley dude." He winced. "Just a weird coincidence that you're Dusty and I'm Ash." I grinned.
"What are you in for?"
"Fucked my arm up."
"Me too." He glanced at my arm, which you had to admit, looked pretty awful. It was just bending slightly the wrong way and there was an awful lot of swelling. He winced and glanced at his own arm. I couldn't really tell because he had long sleeves on but his thumb was swollen to twice the size of mine and his hand was purple.
"Looks bad." I said.
"Really? Here I was thinking I'd just get a bandaid and a lollipop." I laughed. It kind of hurt to laugh. I think my ribs were fucked too. "Least you did your left arm in." He said. I frowned.
"Why is that better?"
"Well, you can still write and shit."
"Unless I'm left handed. Which I am."
"Oh." Ash grinned at me and jerked his head up as the nurse called for an Ashley Wang. "Looks like I beat you in." He said. "Nice to meet you Dusty." I nodded and winced as the pain returned.
——
About an hour later they'd moved me to Orthopaedics. I grinned as I heard his stupid phone going off from the front desk and sat next to him.
"You know, most people keep their phone on silent because it's less obnoxious." I said. Ash looked up and me and smiled.
"I'm not most people." He looked around and leant in conspiratorially. "The nurse is really cute." He said. "Give you ten bucks if you can work out if he's gay for me."
"You're on." I laughed.
I was called in a couple of minutes later and inspected and booked in for an X-ray and offered all manner of painkillers.
"I'm fine." I said. I wasn't fine. But I might have been playing it tough to impress the cute nurse just a little bit.
"I won't tell." He said seriously. I looked at him and checked that the other nurse wasn't around.
"Maybe some panadol." I said quietly. He smiled and turned away to retrieve me some relief. I took a deep breath. Right. Gay? Honestly, I have shitty gaydar. One of those dudes who needs a flashing sign saying -Yo, I'm into you- before I even have an inkling that the beers he's been buying me all night are a sign of anything other than friendship. That at least is why I prefer Grindr. Well, no. Grindr is a cesspit of despair and married assholes who think because I'm younger I'll go along with their stupid fucked up fantasies until they delete the app because the wife might find out... but hell, at least if you're able to take a good pic you know the guy messaging you wants it.
I blinked as Nurse Cavander cleared his throat. He was holding out the panadol and a plastic cup of water.
"Oh I'm good." I waved away the water. He sighed.
"Dusty, no one is judging how manly you are." His eyes crinkled. I shrugged and swallowed the pills. I'm sure there's a whole reason you're meant to swallow pills with water but it's never been a big deal for me. "You can take that with nuerofen." He offered. "Better to knock the pain head on."
"It's really fine." I said. It is. It's funny- when I was a kid I used to hurt myself all the time, and I would cause the biggest fuss.... but only because it made Mum all soft and cuddly, and Dad would buy me Fanta and KFC and we all looked after each other. These days I'm not such a... well. Let's call it like it is. Attention seeker. Turns out my tolerance for pain is pretty phenomenal, which is good luck for me because the last two years have been nothing but accidents.
"Ash was begging for codeíne." Nurse Cavander offered. I laughed.
"Well ok then." He went to grab the neurofen and I brought up YouTube and turned my sound on. One surefire way to know right?
I played the notification sound that had got me talking to Ash.
—-
"Straight. Sorry dude." Ash grumbled and fumbled with his wallet. Both our arms were in slings now and we were waiting in Radiology. He handed me $10 and paused before I could take it.
"How'd you know?" I played the sound and shrugged at Ash.
"He gave me nothing." I heard a chuckle from the desk and the radiologist quickly looked away as we caught each other's eyes. "Ooh." I muttered, pointing him out to Ash. Ash leant in.
"Not my type." He muttered. "You should go for it buddy." I looked at the guy. A blush was creeping up his neck as we unsubtly checked him out. He had short hair and glasses- kind of nerdy. Kind of hunky. I bit my lip. My type was a bit more hipster. Long hair and tattoos and stuff. A bit more... Well. Like the guy sitting next to me, with his long dark hair spilling over his shoulders and his not quite designer scruffy moustache. I glanced at Ash.
"Fuck it, I will." I said. I reached for the $10 and Ash held it away.
"Hold up." He said. "Nurse Cavander might still be gay. Maybe he's just not a whore like us." I laughed.
"Alright fine. I'll keep working at it buddy." I looked up as my name was called and winked at Ash.
"Wish me luck."
"You don't need it." He smiled as I went into the room and got the whole spiel.
I cleared my throat as the radiologist arranged my arm.
"Hurts?" He asked. I shrugged.
"Maybe I'm being a big baby, but I think there's a chance it's broken." He laughed. Callum. That's what his name tag said.
"You know, this is gonna seriously impress you but even without the X-ray I think I can tell you it's cooked." He said. I laughed.
"Damn." I sat back. "I work in Construction. Could you use those crazy deductive skills to tell me if it'll be ok by Monday?" Callum raised his eyebrows.
"You're not gonna like the answer. Alright. Stay there." He left the room and I watched him as he took a photo. He winced as he looked at his monitor. I tried to ignore that. Maybe if I pretended I was fine I would be fine. Power of thought or prayer or whatever right?
"So what do you do?" I asked as he came back to rearrange me. I groaned and let my head hang. "Oh my God." I said. "We are both gonna pretend I didn't ask that." Callum carefully moved my arm and I could see him smiling.
"I'm an actor." He said seriously. "I do this on the side so the bills don't pile up."
"Ah-huh." I caught his eye and he grinned at me. "Should I know you from anything?" I asked. He laughed.
"Shortland Street." He said. He paused as he went to leave the room again. "I play a cute radiologist." I bit my lip as he left. I think the pain was doing dumb things to me. I don't normally flirt- but I guess I kinda wanted to show Ash I was great at this.
"Oh yeah." I said, looking at him carefully when he came back to lie me down and take a photo of my ribs. "Actually I think I do recognise you. You're that one who gave his number to that kid who broke his arm trying to do BMX tricks right?" Callum blushed.
"You saw that episode?" He asked. I grinned triumphantly as he rolled his eyes at me and walked away.
"Didn't it end with drinks and you going back to his?" I called out. He laughed as he looked at the photo.
"Hmmm." He said, coming back, and gently positioning me. He had a nice touch. "And nothing happened because BMX dude had cracked ribs and believe me sex was gonna hurt like a bitch." I winced.
"That's not what I remember...."
"Last photo." He said. "Your mate is back in Orthopaedics." He left the room and when he came back he pressed his number into my good hand.
"I can't believe that worked." I blinked. He smiled at me and shrugged.
"Me either. Do you need me to call an orderly?" I shook my head.
"I know my way around. Believe it or not I'm kind of a big deal here. They know me as 'that idiot again'." Callum smiled.
"So I'll see you again Dusty?"
"You will definitely see me again, Callum. Maybe I'll break my leg next time." He blushed and I left, taking the stairs by two and regretting it as I had shooting pains running through my torso.
——
"So?" Ash asked as I sat next to him. I grinned and showed him the number.
"Irresistible." I said.
"Nice." He automatically raised his right arm to hi-five and winced. "That's right." He said as the sling stopped him. "We were in here to get our arms fixed up, not just to get laid."
"Any luck with Nurse Cavander?"
"He's not married and doesn't have a girlfriend."
"Good start."
"You're up next. I just need, like, absolute confirmation he's into me." I rolled my eyes.
"Easy."
——
I swung my legs as the doctor talked me through what I'd done to myself. Basically smashed my elbow it sounded like. Which was gonna be so great when you work construction. God I was gonna get so fucking fat if I couldn't work. I glanced at Nurse Cavender as the doctor walked out.
