A buddy of mine lives in Bend. We meet once or twice a year to mountain bike around Bend. I live in Corvallis, Oregon. There are a few decent trails near my home, but the trails and weather in Central Oregon are much more conducive to riding.
My buddy, Dave, is in real estate there in Bend. He has a modest house, he's never been married, he's had a few girlfriends over the years, but he never got serious about any of them. I chalked it up to his being picky. I typically stay at Dave's house in his spare bedroom. We go on 2-3 rides, eat dinner out and then just hang out and shoot the shit at his place until we retire to recharge for the next day. We have been doing this for about 10-plus years now.
I typically meet Dave on a Friday, late afternoon at the Maston Trails parking lot. The Maston Rim trail is a local favorite and is a good, low-stress ride. On this one occasion, I meet Dave there. He is a little late, which is no big deal, since he has to drive from Bend right after work to meet me there. We exchange greetings, talk about rides we can do that weekend, where we could eat, etc. I follow Dave down the trail. Dave is very fit, about six-foot-two--I always have a hard time keeping up with him. The ride takes us about an hour and a half. Great workout. We plan to hit Red Robin in Bend--a burger and beer sounds good.
After a 20-minute wait, we are seated in the bar area. A trim, cute waitress takes our drinks order--her eyes linger a bit on Dave, who is, without a doubt, a nice-looking dude. As we wait for the beers, Dave looks intently at me. I actually don't know him very well, so I don't know what this look exactly means, but I assume something is wrong. "Everything okay?" I ask. The waitress brings our beers and asks if we're ready to order. Cheeseburger, medium rare for me. Dave orders the same.
As if the waitress had never arrived, Dave says, "Everything is fine. I have been just thinking about something the past few weeks."
"Yeah?" I prompt.
"It has a lot to do with you," he says, quickly looking down. I notice his cheeks flush red. My first thought is that I have done something to piss him off, but I can't think of one thing. I sometimes take a few days to return texts or phone calls, but that's about it.
"Really? What's up?" I ask, a little concerned about where this conversation was going.
"Okay, I'll tell you, but please don't judge me." He adjusts himself in his barstool; his eyes cut to me. "I'm into dudes." There's a bit of a pause; it takes me a second to register and understand what he said, as well as relate it where I fit in. Still looking straight at me, he continues, "I'm into you. I have been for years, but have been afraid and ashamed of possibly affecting our friendship."
So, there it is. Out in the open. To myself: First off, I don't know why something like that would affect our friendship. I'm not judgmental for the most part, especially about that, since those thoughts have occasionally crossed my mind, but I feel I would never act on them; I wouldn't know how to act on them. Second, I think you are a nice, great-looking, fit guy. I'm flattered that you are into me, and I guess in some, subconscious way, I am into you, but would never even consider it, since we are friends. But this piece of information has suddenly opened my eyes; a tingle begins spreading throughout my body.
To Dave: "So, tell me what you mean by into. Dave, this is affecting our friendship, but in a different way than you would probably expect." The tingles spread and are accompanied by warmth.
Obviously, Dave is taken aback by my sudden and frank response. His eyes soften and a smile spreads across his face. "I think of being with you--in intimate ways. Maybe I've said too much. Sorry."