Shadows of Desire

1. HONOR

The night air cracked with tension as the Knights encircled Greagor and his companions, the weight of imminent conflict pressing upon them. Caffrey bore a mix of shock and incredulity upon seeing the figure that now stood before him. Prince Rowan, alive and resolute, his very presence sparking disbelief and uncertainty among both groups.

"What is this?" Caffrey demanded. He narrowed his eyes, glaring at the man standing before him. "Is this black magic? You are dead. I attended your funeral and watched them lay you to rest!"

"Not black magic." Rowan said. "Just a simple ruse to fool a murderous Queen."

"A ruse to escape the Queen?" Caffrey furrowed his brow, his gaze fixed on Rowan, studying him. "And yet, here you are. What am I to make of this?"

Rowan nodded, sighing heavily. "I had planned never to return to Basmorte. I was content to live a simple life, raise a family, and die peacefully in my bed one day. Those plans changed though when I saw the crimes your Queen has committed against my people. I came back--allowing myself to be captured--not only to protect those I love but, also to free the Fae and re-claim the throne that Caroline stole when she murdered my father."

"And I suppose you think that you, one small omega, have the power to stop her?" Caffrey's lieutenants chuckled at his quip.

"Not just me." Rowan cocked an eyebrow and smirked. "I have an army of my own, ready to attack."

"Really? And what army would that be? An army of woodland creatures?" Liam, one of Caffrey's men asked. Another round of laughter erupted from the Knights, earning them a cross glance from their Commander.

"No." Rowan answered with a cocky grin. "The Elven army. Led by my mate and husband, Prince Thaden of Rosegate." Rowan, of course, knew that he had no such army backing him--yet. He still had to escape Basmorte and find Thaden but, the Commander and his men didn't need to know that one small, fact. If he could bluff his way out of the situation he would. Just seeing the smug expressions fall from the Knight's faces was worth it.

They were not laughing now. In fact, they looked quite alarmed. Rowan's boast had the desired effect. The laughter had died down and the overall mood of the lieutenants had shifted. They were no longer mocking the young, omega, Prince. They couldn't. If what he had said was true then they were all going to be in a world of trouble. The Elven army was far greater than their own and, vastly more powerful. The Vampire army could not withstand an attack by the Elves. If they dared to fight, Basmorte would fall.

Sir Caffrey now realized that there was far more at stake than just capturing an escaped prisoner. They could be on the brink of war.

"So, now you see." Rowan told the Commander. "Why your Queen wants my head. I've committed no crime against the crown, she has. And, now she fears the repercussions of her actions. She and her daughter will pay for what they have done." His lips twisted into a sneer as he mentioned Emilia. His distaste for her still lingering in the back of his mind. It wasn't her coldness or cruelty that angered him so. Rowan was used to that. It was the fact that she believed she had played him. Pretended to care so that she could lure him into a false confidence before striking. Rowan saw through her ruse but, it hurt none the less. He had never done her any wrong. She hated him simply because he was in her way.

Rowan's focus had shifted to Emilia so much that he hadn't noticed the stunned look on the Commander's face or the eerie silence that had fallen over the two groups. Rowan looked up, confused. "What?" He asked. "What's wrong?"

Caffrey rubbed the back of his neck as he thought about how to answer the Prince. He owed the man no explanation. By all accounts, they were enemies. Years of training and service to the crown however, demanded he show respect to any member of the royal family and Rowan was certainly that. "You mentioned Princess Emilia." The words crept from his mouth slowly, and carefully, like a well guarded secret. "You have not heard."

"Heard what?" Rowan demanded, growing agitated. He looked from Caffrey to Greagor but the Captain could give no explanation.

"Princess Emilia is dead." Caffrey told him. The regret was clear in his tone. He and his lieutenants actually grieved for her.

Rowan stiffened. "How?"

"Murdered by her husband, Lord Killian, right before he took his own life."

The news caught Rowan off guard. This was not something he had anticipated happening. He couldn't say the news upset him, really. Though it did give him pause, he couldn't help but think that they had both gotten what they deserved.

"I take no pleasure in anyone's death, no matter what they have done. Regardless, I shall not mourn their passing."

The expression on Caffrey's face hardened after seeing Rowan's reaction. "You have changed, my Lord." He said to the other. "The Prince I knew would not speak so coldly of his sister and ex-fiance. One would think you would feel...something. Did you even mourn when you heard about the death of your own father? Or did you rejoice in the news?" He spat the words with an angry sneer and Rowan instantly felt his jaw tense at the mention of his father. Was Caffrey trying to bate him?

Rowan furrowed his brow as he turned his face away from the Knight Commander. Angry tears stung his eyes as he bit back the vial words that threatened to spew from his mouth at the insinuation that he did not care. He cared. Just not in the way that Caffrey assumed he should.

"I've never considered Emilia my sister." Rowan explained. His voice growing cold and with a sharp edge. Every memory he had of the woman was of her berating him or disrespecting him in some way. "As for, Lord Killian, he was nothing to me. I barely knew the man and what I did know of him was loathsome. But, to say that I did not care for my father, that I did not mourn him..." Rowan sucked in a deep breath then turned his gaze back to Caffrey. His jaw tensed as he stared at the man with such conviction that the Commander nearly flinched at the intensity of his stare. "To presume such a thing, Sir Caffrey, couldn't be farther from the truth."

Caffrey opened his mouth to speak only to be silenced by Rowan. "I'm not finished!" Rowan barked, surprising everyone present. The soft spoken young man that once roamed the Castle halls in shadows, praying not to be seen, was no longer there. He had been replaced by a man who no longer feared speaking his mind. A man who now wished to be seen and heard. Who would make himself heard by all. It was as though a fire had been ignited within him and he now glowed brighter than ever before. Rowan wiped the angry tears from his eyes and sighed. How could he even begin to explain to this man how he felt?

There was no way that Caffrey or his men, or even Greagor could truly understand. King Desmond was a terrible King. He abused his power and he abused his servants just as much. But, what he did to Rowan was worse. Rowan was his child. His flesh and blood. It was one thing to feel despised by your King but, something entirely different when it's your own father who despises you and, Rowan was quite certain that his father despised him. He'd hated Rowan from the moment he was born. He hated what he was and what he represented, Desmond's own failure to produce a suitable heir to his throne.

Desmond would never accept Rowan because he simply couldn't accept his own perceived failure. Seeing Rowan was a constant reminder of that. A constant reminder of Desmond's own inadequacies. For years Rowan had craved the one thing he could never get. He craved acceptance and maybe even validation. He wanted to know that he wasn't the mistake that his father seemed to think he was. Those things would never come though. For Rowan, it was devastating to feel unloved and unwanted. Nothing he did or said would ever be good enough. He wasn't good enough. He wasn't the son that Desmond had wanted and Desmond never let him forget that.

For years Rowan had carried around the guilt and shame of being born wrong. He had always thought it was some defect within himself that was to blame. He was the problem and he had to work to overcome whatever his weakness was in order to earn his father's affections. Overtime though, Rowan began to realize that he wasn't the problem. Desmond was the problem. Desmond couldn't accept him and, there was nothing that Rowan could do to change that. He supposed that the hardest thing for him was finally accepting that no matter how hard he tried, or how many times he'd prayed for his father to love him, it just wasn't possible. Desmond would never see Rowan as anything but a mistake.

Eventually, Rowan came to resent his father. He no longer craved his father's acceptance, and he knew that his father would never love him. The man simply was not capable of it. Rowan was angry. He felt his father's rejection in the very core of his soul and it soured any affection he'd once felt for the man. Whether or not Rowan actually hated his father though, he could not say. He hated the things he had done. That he knew without a doubt but, to hate the man himself? He supposed that there had been times when he thought he'd hated him. He'd even said as much. But it could have been that such words were spoken in anger.

Hate was such a strong word. It carried with it such strong feelings. It affected the way a person thought, the way they felt, and how they acted. Hate was an all consuming emotion that festered and poisoned the soul. As Rowan stood there in the darkness that surrounded him, the Knight commander waiting for him to speak, the answer came to Rowan in an epiphany of newfound awareness. No. He did not hate his father. To hate his father meant that he had to care about him, at least in some way, and he did not. Rowan did not care about his father at all.

"I did mourn my father." Rowan told the Knight. "But not his recent death. I mourned him long before he was murdered in his bed. My father has been dead to me for years and, I suppose, he felt the same about me. He was ready to marry me off to the devil just to be rid of me. I've been a disappointment to him since the day I was born and he's done nothing in his life to be proud of. In my short time living in his Palace, through all his villainy, lies, and abuse, I cared. Every time he beat me, insulted me, or made me feel worthless, I cared. I often wondered what I had done wrong and how I could make it right." Rowan wiped away the final tear that had fallen and he swore it would be the last time that he cried over that man.

"I cared because I wanted him to love me. I had lost my mother. Desmond was all that I had left and I clung to the foolish belief that he could actually be a real father to me, that deep down, in some hidden part of his soul he actually cared. I cared so much that it wore me down, made me weak, and nearly broke me. I cared so much that I fabricated my own death just to escape him. So, do not think, for one second, that I did not mourn my father. I've mourned him for years.

Maybe I was unmoved by the news of his death. But, it doesn't mean that I don't care. All it means is that there is nothing left in me that feels for that man anything but shame and disgust. So, yes, I care. I care that he's no longer around to drag Basmorte down into the pit of despair that swallowed him centuries ago. I care that his wickedness and tyranny has come to an end. I care that no longer will the people of Basmorte suffer at his hands. And, I rejoice in the fact that Basmorte is now free of him, and, so am I."

Caffrey was at a loss for words. He had not expected to hear such things coming from Rowan's mouth of all people. He had been known, in the past, to be somewhat flippant when speaking to his father and more so with Caroline but, Caffrey had always thought it was his teenage angst and attitude that had driven his ill-mannered behavior. Never had he thought that Rowan held such animosity towards his own father. Had Rowan really been as poorly treated as he claimed? Desmond was certainly capable of it. He was a terrible person and an even worse King but, would he actually abuse his own child? Caffrey sighed, this situation was becoming more complicated by the moment.

He had been sent to apprehend an escaped prisoner. A task that, at any other time, he would have carried out without question but now, he was questioning everything, including his loyalties. As a Knight, Caffrey had taken an oath to uphold the law, protect Basmorte and all her people and, defend the crown. As it was, Caroline was the ruling monarch but, she was not the true heir to the throne, Rowan was. He was Desmond's only living male heir. Any of Desmond's daughter's could challenge Caroline for the throne if they so desired but, Rowan was the only one who had an actual, legitimate, claim. The problem was, only a hand full of people knew that he still lived. That could present an issue for the young Prince.

As long as Caroline was Queen, her word was law. Rowan's only chance was to reveal himself to the council and prove that he, not Caroline, had a legitimate claim to the throne. Unfortunately, Caroline had ordered him to be executed. By taking Rowan to the council and ignoring Caroline's orders, Caffrey would be committing treason. Of course those charges would be dropped once Rowan was King.

Caroline could attempt to dispute Rowan's claim but she would almost certainly lose. That is, unless she had been aided by the council all along. If that were the case, then Basmorte would be thrust into civil war and, with Rowan having mated the Eleven Prince, that left an opening for the Elves to take over. Caffrey had to smirk when he thought of old King Desmond. The bastard would be turning over in his grave if he knew what had become of his Kingdom.

All joking aside, Caffrey had an important decision to make. Take Rowan before the Queen as ordered, knowing all to well what she would do once Rowan was again in her custody or, allow the Prince to escape. Allow Rowan to go off in search of his Elven husband as was his plan. Either choice had dire consequences but only one served the people of Basmorte. If it were a matter of honor, it seemed, there was but one choice to make. Rowan was a Prince by blood. He was the true King of Basmorte, or would be after his coronation. Handing him over to Caroline now would go against everything that Caffrey stood for and, what he'd pledged to protect. It would be treason, and Caffrey was anything but a traitor.

Caffrey knew what he had to do. He ordered his men to stand down and back away from the Prince and his group. Confused but ever obedient, the Knights did as they were ordered. Caffrey, from atop his horse, bowed at the neck, showing his loyalty to Rowan. "Your majesty." He said in a voice full of respect but, also with a pang of guilt. He'd had no idea that Rowan still lived but, had he been more vigilant in his duties, perhaps the young Prince wouldn't have had to have taken such drastic measures to protect himself.

Caffrey had failed to protect Rowan. Hell, the entire Kingdom had failed Rowan yet, somehow, Rowan still found it in his heart to come back, facing death, to try and make things right. The blame was not to be placed on Rowan though. He only did what he had to in order to survive. Who could fault the boy for that? "I understand your pain." Caffrey told him. "And, I regret that I did not see it sooner. All that you had suffered I would have gladly bore myself had I known the truth."

"So, what will you do now?" Greagor asked. He narrowed his eyes suspiciously at the Knight, unsure if he could really trust the man or not. "You know Caroline will kill the Prince if you return him to her." Caffrey's unwavering adherence to the Queen's orders clashed with Greagor's devotion to Rowan. The entire confrontation had cast a looming shadow over the assembly. Everyone was on edge, even as Greagor braced himself to defend Rowan against the ominous fate that awaited him should Caffrey choose to turn him over to Caroline.

"I have no intention of returning Prince Rowan to the Queen. Though, I would urge him to go before the council and tell them what has transpired. The sooner the Queen's crimes are made public the better. Right now she still holds too much power."

Greagor then turned to Rowan. "The choice is yours, your majesty." He said. "Will you go to the council, or stay with your original plan and seek out your husband?"

Rowan considered his options carefully. He knew what Caffrey suggested made sense but, he wasn't sure yet if he could trust the council. He knew that the council were no friend to his father. They used and manipulated him to achieve their own goals. It's possible they could have been pulling Caroline's strings the entire time and using her to get Desmond off the throne. They may also have been behind the attempt on Rowan's life.

"It's still unclear if the council would side with me or Caroline and I can not afford to take chances. Until their involvement in all this is ascertained, I believe it would be best to first find Thaden. He would know better than I what steps to take next."

Amidst the standoff happening below, Greagor's vigilant guards kept watch on the wall, waiting for any sign from their Captain that they were to intervene. The tension below was high but the guards stood firm, wondering if a fight were about to break out. When the Knight commander bowed to Rowan, it seemed as though the danger had passed. Jared, a skilled and seasoned archer on the wall, sighed in relief as he began to lower his bow but, just as he'd relaxed back into his routine patrol along the wall he caught sight of something in the distance that made his blood run cold.

At first he thought he had been mistaken. He couldn't possibly be seeing what he was seeing. Just beyond the tree line of the vast forest that surrounded the Kingdom, he saw what appeared to be a large wolf. He'd almost missed it, even with his enhanced sight. The beast was huge and black as night, with red glowing eyes. As more wolves emerged, almost as large as the first, Jared knew that he was looking at no ordinary wolves. They were Lycans, and they were rushing towards the main gate.

Hundreds of wolves poured out of the forest, growling and snarling, as they trampled each other to get closer to their intended target. They were going to storm the gate and from the size of the approaching horde, it was unlikely that they could be stopped. Dread gripped Jared. He had never seen anything like this in all his years of service. The Lyman's behavior was so erratic and unheard of that Jared wondered if the beasts had all gone mad. There was no reason for them to be attacking now. Especially on a full moon when they were more beast than man. It was as though they were being driven by an unseen force.

In a panic, Jared raised his bow and aimed into the darkness. "Sound the alarm!" He yelled out as loudly as he could. "Look lively lads!" The others on the wall turned to see what Jared was aiming at and a chorus of gasps and fearful shouts erupted from the men. Every archer on the wall took aim. More guards joined from the guard house. The Knights below noticed the frenzied actions of the guards. Before they could inquire what was happening the alarm rang out, alerting the Kingdom of the impending danger.

"What is it?" Greagor yelled up to the guards on the wall. Even for a vampire, the distance was so great that he had to strain his ears to hear the reply but when he did, his face paled and his mouth went dry. With wide eyes and trembling hands he looked to Caffrey who already had his sword drawn and ready. "We're under attack." Greagor said, barely able to get the words out. "Lycans, hundreds of them, headed this way."