Author's Note:
A story I've had in my mind for a while now. Shouldn't be more than 3 chapters. Also, this is a little darker in emotions than what I normally write...I think, lol. No sex this chapter. That's to come in chapter 2 which is already 95% complete.
Hope you enjoy! As always, comments and feedback appreciated.
*
January 15, 2011
Growing up, Justice Jameson had never much cared one way or the other about his birthday. Unlike the hordes of children throughout the country who anticipated the arrival of their special day, sometimes for weeks in advance, Justice had always viewed his birthday as just another day on the calendar. The only real importance he'd ever found in the day was that it signified he'd survived yet another year of the hell that was his life as the unwanted son of a cracked out prostitute and her abusive pimp and, later, as an abused foster child failed by the system put in place to save him.
Thirty years after the day of his birth and Justice's feelings of ambivalence had never faded. The circumstances of his adult life, however, were infinitely different, improved even, over those of his childhood. His mother was long dead, his father jailed for life for killing her, many of Justice's former foster parents personally paid back tenfold for the cruelty he'd suffered at their hands and Justice himself developed from a youth Child Protective Services had labeled as emotionally withdrawn into a man the Detroit Police Department identified as their number one most wanted...yet Justice had never managed to let go of the jadedness instilled in him so long ago.
From nineteen eighty-one to two thousand ten, the fifteenth of January had never been a day of celebration for Justice.
And the fifteenth of January of the year twenty-eleven was shaping up to be no different than the twenty-nine which had preceded it.
Except, for the first time ever, Justice had allowed someone to give him a gift.
Justice knew Axl's "gift" was not a gift at all. Not even if he was two Buds from having an intimate face-to-face encounter with the crapper could he fool himself into thinking it was. Actually, the more Justice thought on it, in his acute state of sobriety, the more convinced he became
anything
else would've been preferable. Even a fist to the gut.
There were a couple other, less painful, choice ideas for presents his all too active mind was quick to throw out for consideration. The chance to run his fingers through Axl's burnt copper, shaggy, brown-black-and-blond highlighted locks while staring intently into his emerald rimmed, light green orbs and letting his own eyes tell the full story of the wealth of adoration he felt for the slight man. The opportunity to tease Axl's luscious, pink lips with nips and kisses of unrestrained passion.
Axl standing before him. Ready. Willing. Thin, pale, freckled body nude except for the royal blue satin bow tied around a certain organ south of his waist, nestled between the juncture of his thighs. A royal blue satin bow that would be quickly discarded with one swift tug of Justice's teeth. And an organ Justice would then thoroughly enjoy enticing with his mouth to a state of aching stiffness.
Shit
, Justice thought harshly to himself. Scrubbing a hand over his face, he turned away from the window and the dying day he'd been blindly staring at. He moved towards the twin bed situated in the center of the Spartan room and plopped down hard on its edge.
What the
fuck
was he thinking
?
He wasn't gay
.
But if he was to be completely honest with himself, Justice had to admit he'd been aware for some time of the sexual craving he harbored for Axl. Over the last couple years of their long friendship, ever since
that
day, a myriad of stray thoughts betraying the truth of his desires had made themselves known to him. It was just that on this particular evening, stress had caused them all to hammer at the same time at the mental boundaries which normally held them safely in check, demanding freedom.
Whatever. Regardless of the current homosexual train of his thoughts, Justice was not a lover of men. Far from it.
And if anyone ever had their doubts, Justice had irrefutable proof to back up his state of heterosexuality: Lisa Walker...formerly Lisa Walker-Jameson up until approximately one year ago. Lisa was his ex-wife who managed a pretty fucking good impression of an Antarctic ice shard most of the time.
No man alive with even a hint of homosexual or bisexual tendencies would have dated Lisa, much less married the frigid bitch like he had. One glance at her and hidden
tendencies
no doubt blossomed into full blown
actualities
. Lisa had probably thus helped tons of men "in the closet" navigate their way to freedom around their mental embargoes of polo shirts, khaki pants and suit jackets.
Hell, even straight men made a point to cut a wide berth around her. Except Justice.
But Justice didn't really count. He was a special case: a nasty, obstinate bastard molded such from his adolescent experiences growing up on the east side of Detroit combined with his experiences founding and heading up Los Olvidados, one of Detroit's most feared and deadliest gangs. Justice made it a point to always obtain that which he viewed as unobtainable. No matter its desirableness, or, in the case of his beautiful, educated, glacial ex-wife, lack thereof.
His tenaciousness also underscored the urges he felt towards Axl. Time and again, Justice had fulfilled the role of Axl's protector. It was a role his psyche equated with that of a parent or a lover. The former was the role he'd served in Axl's early, formative years. The latter was a role he'd played, just once, on a grief fueled, explosive day two years ago.
That
day.
It was an incident Justice had immediately tried his best not to remember.
Since then, Justice had been treated quite often, as before, to all the trials and tribulations that came with protecting his friend. And on that first occasion after their intimacy he'd been forced into a confrontation with a disturbing realization: No matter how much Justice wanted to forget what had happened, it wasn't possible.
Because Justice's feelings towards Axl had undergone a radical, irrevocable change as a result of their actions together. And that was something Justice couldn't ignore. He couldn't overlook the fact that the very instant Axl's body had comforted his by welcoming his sex and his seed just happened to coincide with the very instant Justice had ceased to view Axl as his son, his little brother.
It was also the very instant Justice's mind had deduced Axl was no longer freely entitled to Justice's protective aid in that capacity.
That left only one other alternative in Justice's mind. Lover.
To which Justice's conscience protested.
In response to his confusion, Justice's mind had taken to the relentless, tenacious habit of stockpiling his suppressed, unsatisfied needs and the persistent expressing of them in the release of tantalizing, forbidden images throughout the years. Mostly at inopportune moments. Like now.
Made for an all-out crap situation. And for some very malapropos erections.
Justice absolutely, positively was not a lover of men.
He did, however, love
one man
.
By nature, Justice was protective and Axl was the only person who had a true need of him in such a capacity. Not that Los Olvidados wasn't full of members younger than Axl's tender twenty who had need of Justice in some way or another. But they were all cut from the same tough cloth as Justice and they looked to him for guidance, not the protection Axl relied so heavily on him to provide. Which meant Axl, thankfully, was the only person Justice had to deal with this tussling of the feelings over.
Even Lisa, his own wife, the very person he'd taken vows to keep safe from harm, had never needed him in such a manner. She'd made it clear often enough throughout their entire five years of marriage that
she
didn't need
him
to protect
her
and never would. And, of all the things he could fault Lisa for, her ability to defend herself had never been among them.
It was pretty much a given that every shrewish harpy was equipped from birth with the means to emasculate a man with the utterance of a single word.
Many months ago, there
had
been another person who'd truly needed his protection. Gage. His son with Lisa. But Justice had failed Gage. Much as he wanted, he hadn't been able to protect him.
But he couldn't think about Gage. Not right now. This wasn't the time or place. Nor was he ready.
Probably never would be.
Directing his thoughts in another direction, Justice contemplated the list of possible
nonsexual
birthday gifts he would be open to receiving from Axl in years to come. A simple thank you for the many times he'd extracted Axl's ass from this dilemma or that. Or, a warm, heartfelt, masculine hug in the safe form of slap on the back accompanied by a statement along the lines of, "J, have I ever told you how much I really appreciate all that you've done for me, man?"
A sudden change in the atmosphere jerked Justice clear out of his musings. The currents of charged energy which circulated invisibly through the air were almost imperceptible and, under normal circumstances, he never would have taken note of them. But given where he was, whose lair he was in, Justice did notice the difference because of his vigilance. A vigilance he knew from the moment of arrival it would behoove him to maintain at all times.
He was no longer in the room by himself. After hours of keeping him waiting, his host had apparently decided to come make the welcome wagon rounds.
Knowing if he showed any sort of negative reaction it would be perceived as a weakness to be fully exploited and used, Justice didn't move a muscle. Not even to relax those which had just tautened. By force of will, Justice remained exactly as he'd been, sitting on the side of the bed, feet planted firmly on the ground, ramrod straight back to the door and his host, gaze trained on the floor.