ZACH
I sat at the table, my stomach growling at the fine display of food that Dominus had laid out in front of us. But as much as I wanted to grab a big scoop of mashed potatoes and dig in, I'd be damned if I was going to let that son of a bitch get to me with something as easy as a warm meal.
"Is there something wrong with dinner?" asked Dominus. He was sitting at the front of the table, a glass of wine in his hand. Colin sat in front of me, his plate similarly empty.
"Aside from the fact that you haven't given us any silverware?" I said.
Dominus shrugged. "I know that eating with your hands isn't exactly good table manners, but do you blame me? Thanks to you I have to have men standing watch in front of every door out of this place. It's not like I can trust you with a fork."
I rolled my eyes. How could anybody in Ecclesium put up with this guy? I'd only known him for a few days and I already felt like clawing my own eyes out.
"I'm not going to eat anything until you tell me why you've brought us up here."
"All right, fine. I invited you both to join me for dinner to celebrate."
Why did I get the feeling that this was nothing to celebrate?
"Your video satisfied our buyer. He's on his way and should be here by Thursday morning."
My heart dropped. It was Monday evening, which meant that Thursday was only two and a half days away. That gave us an incredibly short window of time to figure out a way out of here before some man took me halfway across the world to do God knows what with.
"Is it too much to ask who you're selling me to?" I asked. "You can at least do me the decency of knowing who my next kidnapper is going to be."
Dominus drained his wine glass. He set it down on the table, rubbing his finger around the rim and staring at me with a small smile on his face.
"I guess it doesn't matter either way," said Dominus. "There's not much you can do about it either way. Plus you'll know soon enough, won't you?"
He picked up a wine bottle from the table and refilled his glass, then leaned in, a gleam in his eye. "You're going to Russia! The KGB is VERY interested in getting their hands on such a great asset. They've got all sorts of plans for you, I'm sure. Not that I asked, I'm more interested in the financial side of things. But you are going to net me a pretty substantial sum, which should be more than enough to make up for the sponsors we lost because of Colin's fuck-up."
He turned to Colin and tilted his glass towards him. "See Colin? I knew there was a way you could make this up to me."
"Fuck you," said Colin. He stood up, curling his hand into a fist as he took a step towards Dominus. One of the guards standing nearby lifted his gun, pointing it directly at Colin.
Dominus laughed. "What are you gonna do? Beat me to death like you did poor Carl?"
Colin's eyes widened. "He's not... I didn't-"
"No, but it wasn't for lack of trying. You damn near put him in a coma. Luckily my friends are here to help you keep your rage in check."
The man with the gun stared at Colin, his index finger resting on the trigger.
"What are you gonna do to him?" I asked Dominus. They both turned to look at me. "What's going to happen to Colin once I... once I'm gone?"
Dominus looked over at Colin and raised an eyebrow. "That's up to Colin, really. There's always a path back to forgiveness for those who truly want it. If anybody's capable of earning their seat back at the table, it's you, Colin. What do you say?"
Colin was still standing a few feet away from Dominus, glaring at him. He spat in Dominus' face.
The man with the gun walked forward and turned his gun around, hitting Colin in the face with the butt of his rifle. Colin dropped to his knees.
Dominus wiped the spit off of his face with a dinner napkin. "Again? What is up with you people and spitting? Seriously, is this some sort of gay sex fetish or something?"
Colin got slowly to his feet, glaring at Dominus. "Fuck you," he growled. "If you think I'm going to let you sell my boyfriend and then become your little devoted cult follower again, you really are fucking crazy."
Dominus sighed, then turned to me. "You know, I'm starting to think you're a bad influence on him. Really. First you make him gay, then you make him buy into all this cult nonsense."
He leaned back in his chair and picked up his glass of wine, swirling it around before taking a sip. "This wasn't always the plan, you know. To sell you. We really were just trying to get you to join us. We had a whole plan to install someone at every level of government. But then you turned out to be so goddamn difficult. If you had just cooperated, we wouldn't have had to find another way for you to be useful."
"Wow, can't believe we're victim-blaming me for getting kidnapped," I said. "I'm sorry I didn't fit into your perfect little agenda."
"I am too. Because now I have to kill Colin because of you. Seriously, dude. It's pretty fucked up."
Colin's face turned white. I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out.
"Now, are you guys going to eat, or are we just going to let everything get cold?"
____________________
After the guards locked us back in our cell for the night, Colin pulled me into his arms and held me tight.
"I'm not gonna let him do this to you," he said. "We're going to find a way out of here."
"How?" I asked. "We already tried stealing the guard's keys and escaping. There's no way we're gonna be able to pull that off again."
"We need to find another way out of here," said Colin. "There has to be some blind spot in this place, some way that we can sneak out without them seeing us."
"It's not exactly as if we can just walk around the place and look, now can we? The only place in the house that I've even seen is the basement, the living room, and the bathroom. And I guess now the dining room, not that there's a way out of there."
Colin furrowed his brow. "If we could just make our way to the garage we could steal one of the cars and just drive out of here."
"That's a lot easier said than done. I don't even know what section of the house the garage is located in."
"It's on the left side," said Colin. "I saw it when they brought me in. Dominus has a few cars in there, along with Jeff's car."
"Yeah, well, he's not gonna be any help, now is he?" I asked. I sat down on the cot and put my head in my hands. Colin sat down beside me and put his hand on my back.
"We'll think of something. We've got until Thursday to find a way out of here. We can do it, I promise you."
I looked up at him and sadly. "And what if we don't?"
"Zach-"
"Colin, if we don't make it out of here, and I get sent off to fucking Moscow or wherever, he's gonna kill you."
Colin shrugged. "If we don't succeed, I'm not gonna want to live anyway. I wouldn't be able to live with myself for what I've done."
"Don't say that. You shouldn't have to pay for what you did with your life."
Colin stood up, staring at me angrily. "What would you have me do? Just go back to him, tell him that I'm back on board, that I'm a believer again?"
I gave him a half smile. "You wouldn't have to mean it."
Colin shook his head. "No. I won't do it."
"But Colin, if you don't-"
"What guarantee do I have that he's not gonna kill me anyway?"
"You don't know that. But you have to at least try!"
Colin stared at me, shaking his head slowly. "I can't believe that you're giving up on us. What happened to the man that told me to go fuck myself, that HE was going to be the one to get us out of here?"
"I'm just being realistic. Just in case."
Colin grabbed my arms, pulling me close to him. "Fuck that. I don't accept that. You are the bravest, smartest, most resilient motherfucker I've ever met. You've been through so much. SO much. I know that you're going to find a way out."
I leaned my head against Colin's chest, closing my eyes as he ran his hands across my back. I really did want to be brave, but the truth was I had never felt brave a day in my life. Everything I had done, from doing interviews on national television to asking Colin on our first date, I had done with my heart in my fucking throat.
I was tired of pretending to be brave.
"Okay," I said after a moment. "I'll do it. I'll find us a way out of here. But you have to do something for me."
He looked down at me, staring into my eyes. "Anything."
"Will you hold me? Just hold me tonight. I just need... I need to feel safe."
"Of course," he said. He leaned down and kissed me on the top of my head.
We got underneath the covers, pulling them over us as he laid behind me on the cot. I took his arm and held it against my chest, feeling his warm body behind me. I ran my fingers across the hair of his arm, feeling the coarseness of it on my fingertips. I could feel his face behind my neck, breathing me in softly.
As I closed my eyes, I remembered a game I used to play with myself whenever I would go to bed. I used to close my eyes and try to imagine that I was in a different bedroom throughout my life. Sometimes it would be my childhood bedroom back in Rhode Island, then my room at the beach house in Chesapeake or my apartment in college. I would picture everything in the room from my nightstand to where the closet was and try and imagine that I was actually there.
I laid on the cot, holding onto Colin's arm and trying as hard as I could to stifle the tears that I felt brimming underneath the surface. I took deep breaths one after the other, my mind trying to picture the first night that Colin and I slept together at my apartment back in DC. It was just us in my bedroom, my body nestled into Colin's as we drifted off to dreamland together.
As I felt myself falling deeper into sleep, just for a moment, the fantasy felt like the real thing. For a moment, I was able to escape.
I woke up the next morning to the sound of the door being unlocked. I sat up slowly, rubbing my eyes as Jeff opened the door and walked in.
"Come with me," he said.
"Where are you taking me this time?" I asked.
"I thought you might want to take a shower," said Jeff. "Unless you wanna sit in your own filth. I'm fine either way."
I turned back to look at Colin, who was still sound asleep. He was splayed out on the bed, the blanket just covering up his lower half. "Let him rest a little while longer," I thought.