I was in college when I first had sex with another man. It was my first gay experience. It wasn't planned, at least not by me. I'm pretty sure he had planned it, or at least had set up the situation so that things might happen. It was enlightening for me feeling those new emotions and physical sensations. It was psychologically intense and redefined how I viewed myself and my sexuality.
It was at a trade conference. A group of us college students was helping with the trade show in a nearby city since the trade show related to our college major. Our professor had set it up so we could get some good experience and good professional exposure. We had spent a couple of days hauling boxes, setting up displays, and generally helping out some of the trade show participants. For most of that time, I had been helping one particular guy from a state agency who was exhibiting at the show. Our professor knew him but this was my first time meeting him. No one knew him that well to suspect he might be gay.
I worked closely with him for most of those two days. The agency had a lot of boxes to move, mostly brochures and literature that was to be handed out at the trade show. So the boxes were heavy and there were several. Near the end of the second day, he asked me to help him with a few boxes he had in his hotel room. I didn't think anything about it. He'd given me no reason to suspect anything other than there were more boxes to move. So we went up to his room.
When we got in there, he showed me the boxes but suggested I rest a few minutes on the couch in his hotel room and have a soda or glass of water. So, I did. We chatted some about out experience with the profession. It was small talk mostly, but as I look back it was probably to get me to relax.
He commented on how tired and sore he was from all of the work and moving boxes. I agreed that I was as well. He offered to loosen my tight shoulder muscles with a massage if I was interested. I declined politely saying that I was feeling ok. Our chatting continued for awhile. At one point in a lull I commented again about my back and shoulders being sore. I was just trying to find a way to break the silence and keep the conversation going. But, that opened the door for another offer of a massage, again that I declined politely. He was more persistent this time, though, and moved over to the couch beside me. He put his hand on my shoulder and turned me away from him so he could put both hands on my shoulders. He began to massage and knead my tired shoulders and back. That coaxed me to relax even more.
He suggested I lay down on the bed so he could have a better angle and so I'd be more comfortable. With a lot of encouragement and assurances it'd be fine, I took his lead. As I look back, this is the point where I first began to give in to his advances. I was young and naive and didn't realize what was happening or why I was going along with it. At some level I guess I wanted him to do this.
I laid on the bed face down and he began to massage my entire back. I remember feeling anxious and nervous because I felt my penis swelling but didn't want it to. After focusing on my back he started to massage my legs. This definitely began to illicit a reaction from my penis. This made me uncomfortable. I'd had these feelings before with a girl but never with a man. I think he sensed my growing nervousness and asked if it was helping. I agreed that it was but to myself was concerned about my sexual response to him.
He asked if he could put his hands under my shirt to better work my tight muscles. I simply said yes. I'm sure he knew then that his seductive advances were messing with my head. I was coming to that realization as well. It was exciting and scary at the same time.
By now, I had a good erection pressing against my jeans. That's when he suggested I turn over so he could work more of my tired muscles. I was panicking inside. I didn't want him to see my erection he'd elicited from me. But he persisted. I rolled over. I'm sure he saw but he didn't say anything. He just began to work my leg muscles starting low and working up. My erection was not subsiding and my heart rate and breathing were accelerating enough for him to notice.
He stopped for a minute, leaned towards my head leaving one hand resting on my thigh with his fingers close to my crotch. It was then he asked, "Have you ever been with a man before? "No," I said abruptly and with nervousness in my voice. He then pointed out that the bulge in my pants suggested that I might enjoy it. I responded that I wasn't sure about that. He again said that based in what he was seeing, the evidence was obvious.... I was aroused by his touching and would probably enjoy more of it. I replied, "Maybe," with uncertainty and hesitation. Then he suggested I just let things happen and go with the feelings. As he said that he slid his hands a little further up grazing my erection through my jeans. I didn't protest and didn't resist, which he took as a signal to go ahead with what he wanted to do. He correctly interpreted my signals.