This is a fantasy story, with no condom, bareback sex. Always protect yourself in real life! All characters are over 18...well over 18!
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My age? Suffice to say, I am on the other side of fifty. I bear the sorrow of one who has wasted the better part of his life. For reasons not germane to this story, I had my same-sex initiation very late in life, though the idea had been with me since childhood. When I finally got the courage to 'explore' my passions, I joined one of those gay dating sites:
"Help! Mature man in need of being rescued from women. Even tempered, kind, and considerate of others. Young thinking, acting, and looking. Please see all of my photos and judge for yourself. Looking for LTR. Good man here, looking for same. Thanks."
I bravely hit 'submit', sat back in my chair, and wondered what kind of person might respond, or if any would at all. Leaving the laptop on, while I did my housework, gave me some hope for a response. And it worked.
PING: "Hi, Patrick, my name is Taylor. I got a good feeling reading your post; and would like to chat with you to see if we might click. Please do not be put off by my age. I am NOT looking for a quick conquest for bragging rights...but for an LTR just like you are. Hope to hear from you." His sincerity seems genuine, but, my God, he is nearly half my age! At 37, he is the epitome of the kind of man I would have fallen for when I was in my own mid to late thirties. What should I do? My post suggested a need for an open mind, so how can I not extend the same to him. It took me all of five minutes to make my decision.
"Thank you so much for answering my ad, Taylor. Yes, I look forward to sharing a few emails with you...and possibly meeting face-to-face, sooner, rather than later. We both need to be realistic, and figure out if this is what will work for us." I feel good. Yes. I have a good feeling about this.
Part 2 -
One of my friends suggested that I not put a lot of effort and hope into a ton of back and forth emails. That is why I asked to meet after only a few online exchanges. Taylor agreed; and we will meet for the first time on Saturday, one day from today, at a quiet cafe, known to both of us. I have nervously spent the week getting ready. Had my hair cut, bought a new shirt and shoes; and I have even been using white strips on my teeth! The only things left to do are to shower, shave, primp and fuss, and cross my fingers that I can do this.
"Over here!" Taylor is waving me over to a table at the rear of the cafe. Even at this distance, my heart is starting to race, as my eyes behold the beautiful man beckoning me to join him. He is standing now. Smile, Patrick...be brave...
"Hello, Taylor, it's good to see you in the flesh." OMG. Stupid. I should have planned this better. Can't stop now. Let him talk. Let him take the lead. Calm down!
"Same here, Patrick, how has your week been?" I did not expect this hug. We are the same height. We are about the same weight. Taylor has the look of a gymnast - lean, tightly muscular, and totally together. I'm going to be polite, and chatty, but he can't possibly be interested in me.
"Good. Real good, Taylor. How about you?" My mind is racing and trying to plan ahead with some conversational tidbits so that we do not have 'dead space' to contend with. Do I feel awkward, do I feel emotionally drained, do I feel like he is ready to get up and go? No. I suddenly feel very calm and collected. My mind is totally occupied with the positive posture and presence of the man sitting across from me. He has the most wonderful grey eyes that I have ever looked into. He has the bearing of a wolf - sure of himself, focused, hypnotically tracking his prey...
"Great, now that I can see you sitting with me. Patrick, you are everything I hoped you would be." Believe me, it is not only when you die that your life flashes in front of your eyes. My life just flashed to me, but not with my past...with my future. I see Taylor and me going on a series of dates, getting cozy with each other, our first kiss, our first night together, the weekend by the lake, his proposal of marriage, our wedding day, our honeymoon, our anniversaries... "Patrick? You with me?"
"OMG. Totally! Sorry, I was just having a daydream about...possibilities, that's all."
"With me?" His gaze is piercing mine, controlling me completely. I have no resistance.
"Yes, with you. Is that silly?" Now I've done it. This is the equivalent of asking if he wants a second date with me. Oh, well, better to know now that he just...
"Not at all. I've been thinking similar thoughts since we met online, hoping that today would prove to me that there really is someone I can connect with. Can I bore you with a little more of my history, Patrick?"
"I doubt that you could ever bore me, Taylor. Please, tell me." His hand is reaching for mine. I am frozen in place. Taylor and I are holding hands, I feel like a school kid! This is wonderful.
"I've had a few boyfriends in my time, Patrick, so I know what I need in my life. Younger men are exciting to be with, their bodies a joy to explore. Then they are off to make other conquests. Men my age are more desperate for quick commitment, or they cling to their ways leaving little room for real connection. I have been hoping to find a mature man, like yourself, who knows what he wants and needs, and is open to a truly co-beneficial relationship. Silver foxes have always intrigued and called to me, Patrick. I am intent on not wasting any more time. Tell me more about yourself." It is a command. Not the least bit unfriendly, but an authoritative command nonetheless.
"I am embarrassed to admit that it has only been very recently that I have allowed myself to act on my feelings for men...for a man; and I do not have...experience...to judge by, except by ones personality. Of course, physical attraction is a factor, as well." I do not have to say what I am thinking. Taylor is a physically beautifully man. He knows that. I think he knows that I think so too, but he is not the least bit superficial or haughty in that regard.
"I'm glad you brought that up." Here it comes. I am holding my breath. Hey, this has been nice. It's been fun exploring possibilities with a younger man.
"Oh, I see." My hand is being gently squeezed in his.
"Do you? Can you tell how attracted I am to you, Patrick? How much I want our connection to grow, to deepen, and to bloom? Most men would have a hard time believing that a younger guy like me could be attracted to their 'maturity', but I am. Do you believe me, Patrick?" I have never believed anything more strongly in all of my adult life.
"Yes." Taylor is placing cash on the table. It looks like way too much for the snack we have been eating. Well, he might not be after me for my money. I have enough, but probably not enough to be a 'sugar daddy'. Maybe I should let the age thing go. If it doesn't matter to him, why should it matter to me? We are two consenting adults, each of us mature enough to make our own decisions. Each of us is capable of extending and accepting connection. Each of us...totally turned on, by the look of the bulges that Taylor and I are sprouting as we get up to leave the cafe!
"Let's take this to my place?!" Hmm. More of a question this time. Maybe Taylor has his own doubts, or at least he needs to set them aside like I do.
"Okay." One thing is for certain. We both seem ready for what will come next.
Part 3 -
Taylor has an apartment on an upper floor of the newest residential building in the city. His view of the town is amazing! He either uses a decorator, or he has a talent for it. I love antiques, and collectibles, but shy away from clutter. Taylor has similar tastes. I am more than impressed. Can a younger man than me be a sugar daddy?
"What do you think?" I think I am in love!
"Nice. Really, really nice. Taylor, you and I have similar tastes in decor, that's for certain." His smile has a tinge of relief to it.
"I'm glad. I was concerned that maybe we might begin to find some discord."
"Not yet. Maybe none to find?" He is beaming. He is putting down the bottle of wine that he was opening; and moving toward me. His arms are at my shoulders. His face is close to mine. He is reaching for me...taking off my glasses...gently placing them with his own onto a nearby table.
"Can I kiss you?" I nod. Taylor is more than gentle. He reminds me of my first kiss, all those years ago. Lips barely touching, moving slightly left and right. A bit more pressure. His mouth is now engulfing just my lower lip, my own opening to him completely. The first breath of him inside of me is like a tidal wave of pleasure. His tongue is ever so softly seeking out mine. His flavor is that of the cafe snack we shared. His warmth is that of the hotness that this young Adonis contains. I wonder how he perceives me; and my answer comes in the feel of his hands at the back of my head, pulling me closer to him, not wanting to let me go. We come up for air at the same moment, gaze deeply into each others eyes, each of us searching for confirmation that we are accepted by the other.
"Taylor?"
