Sandalwood

Chris was amazingly tight. His channel that I now hammered into in irregular intervals gripped so profoundly. When I caught him unawares by bucking hard, all the muscles on his lean back flexed in unison. I watch his back as it shuddered with tiny little waves that were mesmerizing. I could hear insatiable moans escape his mouth as he buried his face into the carpet.

I had gotten distracted by his moans... his back and had forgotten why I was here. With that quick sharp reminder, I thrust back hard against his posterior and he gasped loudly as if he had been winded. I wasn't here to enjoy it, so neither was he. I should concentrate on making this unbearable for him. And quick.

Chris had approached me after work. He had had a small parcel in his hand.

He was one of the more dubious men I had encountered at work. He would joke quietly of his exploits when we were in meetings. His pestering would always make me miss my cue during board discussions. He seemed to walk into work with such an easy grace, then he would let slip the most depraved act he had administered the night before to a stranger or two. At first I thought this had only been a meaningless tease. I had chewed him out about these provocations.

I hadn't always been guarded but I had never guessed nor had the vanity to presume it was my own downfall he sought.

'Jeremy, I have something you might be interested in'. He gave me a sideways glance.

I remember vaguely at the Christmas party, something happened incomprehensible to my sober self.I had woken up in a strange place the day afterwards. I wouldn't have agreed to follow him home but I was plagued by a forgotten drunken memory.

We had walked to his apartment and I shuddered violently inwardly. After passing the main entrance I smelt a faint trace of sandalwood that had floated on the fringes of my memory.

I watched him crouch in front of the entertainment unit as he pushed in the DVD and pressed play. My fingers were clammy.

When the screen flashed up, a dark, silent bedroom greeted me. It was a mirror image of the room behind me.

I said down on the couch glued to the TV, hoping against all the odds that I had gotten it wrong. That I was just coming over to check on some footage Chris had taken for the company's promo. Or hoping that he wanted to show me a home video of his family. Stupid thoughts like a recording of his first birthday. For Christ sake I was hoping for it to be anything, anything else.

I could see myself in the screen, clasping my hands in my lap, tense. My dark curly hair had nearly grown out of its last cut and my eyes stared doggedly out of the prominent brow that permanently shadowed them.

The pit of my stomach churned when I finally saw the two familiar figures clumsily enter the room. Chris and I had appeared, apparently completely inebriated from the Christmas party. I was heard to laugh but the tops of our bodies were cut off by the picture. I couldn't hear what we were saying but I saw my legs tense suddenly. Then I saw Chris's hand cup my crotch. I blushed hard when I heard an unmistakable grown from my screen counterpart. Oh God, I wanted to leave, but I knew I couldn't. This strange detached way of viewing my other self seemed hopelessly unreal.

I saw TV Chris get down on his knees and undo my trousers. He went quickly to retrieve my dick with his mouth. There was no time to think. Soon his blond hair was bobbing and I could see my hands grip restlessly on his head. It would have been fine so far. I would be able to get away with it because not once had you seen my face. You could hardly hear the voices, I reasoned with myself. I was still anonymous.

Not until a few seconds later. The screen hands clutched greedily at Chris's head and started to face fuck him. The need redoubled and soon the man on the screen had pushed Chris to the floor, his hips pumping into the other's mouth. It was then that my face showed.

I was appalled. My features had turned dark and twisted. There was nothing human left in my expression. I plunged wildly into Chris's mouth as he struggled to cope with my need. I could see his hands and arms struggle in vain to push my hips back. My onscreen arms flexed and tore at the carpet as I managed to plunge into Chris's choking mouth. His head was in my shadow as I arched my back and came hard into his mouth.

I collapsed on top of the screen Chris. My orgasm had been fatally quick. I was lying on top of him unconscious as I saw him trying to push me off. Finally he looked directly into the camera and it chilled me to the bone. He wiped the tears and cum that littered his clear white face. Hi grey TV eyes pierced through to my own reality, sitting there in the lounge, remembering what I had tried to forget.

'Your wife would not be terribly understanding' I heard Christ say behind me as the DVD stopped. I was so angry, and so frightened. Hilary and I had just gotten married. I loved her. I loved her so very much. Oh god! I thought in a dead panic.

I looked back at him with unhidden rage.

'What do you want?' I replied tonelessly.

Chris stood by the doorway, his arms behind him, calmly evaluating the situation. He was so tall and thin that it wouldn't be hard for me to break him, I thought. His shirt hung from his shoulders and I felt the need to rip it open and bite deep into his flesh, straight into his heart. I wanted to wound him deeply, mark him with my anger.

Later I would be shocked by these thoughts. I had never been so close to losing control. I always had been calm and unaggressive. But I couldn't handle this. It was too much for me. I had worked too hard for everything that I had.

Chris's lips smiled faintly. His hands came up to his shirt. Slowly, button by button it came undone. He looked at me with those cold grey eyes. It was dawning on me what he wanted for his silence. Oh god, I wouldn't do it. Not again. But he had a recording. I thought of Hilary. I remembered how only recently she had said 'I do' with such a breathless innocence. She was ten years younger than me. She was the boss's daughter. She was my precious wife. I could lose so much. It was this stupid mistake but it would ruin everything.

Chris continued to slip his shirt off and dropped it on the ground. He reached for his buckle and my stomach tightened. I was still trying to think about things. It was all moving too fast.

I stood up quickly but he came to stand in front of me. He pulled down his trousers and boxers and his shoes and socks. He was completely naked. He showed only the slightest disdain for me as he stood there, erect. I needed to leave but he blocked the way. He still remained smiling, his crooked eyebrow turned into a cynical expression. God, how much I hated him right now.

I could hear the clock ticking loudly, trying to bang my conscious thought back into working order with each 'tick'. Tick, tick, tick. I broke out into a sweat. All I could see was his naked skin. My eyes took in his neck, shoulders and chest. He was blocking me from the door. Something irreverent seemed to fill me. My mind started to switch off and a dark blinding rage was taking over.

His smile split into a grin as he saw my internal struggle. His hand reached out and he brought to my attention that I was aroused. Oh God, I thought as my control finally snapped.

Well he sure as hell wasn't going to have it his way! My mind reeled in attack. Violence erupted and I swung at him, knocking him to the floor. I saw his lean body clumsily climb to all fours. I quickly got down behind him. I pulled free my hard cock and gripped his hips before thrusting straight in. I must have done it with superhuman strength because he was so very tight. I was unable to move as he gripped and quivered beneath me. He held me immobile. I could hear him panting and trying to cope beneath me. I became so damn angry I hit him hard on the buttocks. His ass gripped harder then relaxed a little. I smacked him again and he shuddered, sending delicious waves through me. I could feel him loosening a little and I hit him until his cheeks were raw.

Finally I was able to move inside of him. All I wanted to do was hurt him. To take that smug smile and shove it were the sun doesn't shine. I fucked him with hard deep thrusts. I was deaf to his cries. He deserved this! Didn't he want this?

He was so tight but I could now slide a little more easily into him. The feeling in my chest was straining and I felt very close to release. I was shaking all over from my violence and exertion that I could feel my heart palpitate, trying to cope. I was mindless to my own grunts and guttural sounds erupting from my throat.

Instinctively I bent down and bit into his shoulder blade. I needed to hold back for a little longer.

My hands and nails gripped into his shoulders and hair. I leaned over, completely dominating him. He was being crushed under me as I pummelled into him faster and faster. I clenched my teeth thrusting hard and quick. I wanted a release and all my efforts centred on it. I felt the sweat drop off my brow and fall on his squirming back. I could hear my monumental efforts as my balls smacked loudly against him. A burning sensation ran under my stomach. I felt my teeth grind hard. I was so close. I few hard quick desperate thrusts more. My hand griped his hair back as I erupted. My chest burned. My breath caught and I stared blindly at the ceiling for a second as I continued to gush into him.

'Ah!' I cried on the third thrust as I found my voice again.

When my breath came back and my incessant thrusting slowed into a weak pump, I came to. Back to my normal self. My mind had cleared and I found myself, crushing another man on the floor, humping my dying, soggy erection into his anus. I froze.

Chris was deathly quiet. I used my arms to push myself up.

I looked down at the body that I still invaded. There were bloody scratches on his back and bite marks. I didn't remember biting him. There was a bit of blood from his anus and he had dark bruises forming on his derriere. I withdrew my soaking member and saw his body shudder. My own cum dribbled out between the now vacant crack at the apex of his legs.

I got up and buckled myself back into my trousers. My mind drifted as I considered to wash off. Not here though.

I desperately needed to get out. He lay motionless on the floor and I thought perhaps I had killed him.

I stared down and saw tiny movements his torn back was making. Good, he was breathing. Relief flooded into my senses.

I left quickly not looking back. I couldn't even think of a snide comment. I felt wrecked. My insides felt like what I had done to that man's back, all torn and shredded.

Had I just raped a man? I felt such intense self loathing. Once outside the apartment I leaned against the door staring wildly at my shoes. What had I done? What had I done? And that god-damn sandalwood smell taunted me.

I was surprised to find that I was more shocked at my own violence than at my adultery with a man. Shame seared though me.

That evening the tall, blonde man with the grey eyes managed to lift himself painfully off the floor. Beneath him was a mess of cum, bathing his own chest and the carpet. He crawled to the corner of the room. Jeremy's seed was still drooling down his thighs from his rectum. He reached the computer with the webcam attached. He flicked on the play mode and collapsed again. His sideways glance stared at the scene as it played out before him. He watched the event again and again until dawn started to drift through the blinds and the blood and semen had dried hard on his body.

The next day I fluctuated between hot and cold sweats. Every noise, every creak kept me on edge. I had come into work early, to stop Chris if he tried to tell anyone. Would the police be there? Would he try to blackmail me? I spent a sleepless night thinking about damage control and had come to one conclusion. If I acted first, I could stop any blackmail, I could deny anything. I would do anything to stop Chris from wrecking my life.

But I needn't have worried. He strolled in late as usual. He was so calm and even smiled a bit.

I watched him through my peripheral vision. He never looked at me, which was one of the reminders that yesterday had actually happened. The other was the bruise on his forehead, which he half successfully covered with his longish blonde bangs. Maybe he wouldn't say anything? Maybe the violence I caused him would stop his blackmail? Maybe....but I had tried to stop there.

'Jeremy, can I have the plan for Mr Huston's apartment by Friday.' Came Alice's voice from far away. I only just caught it so I was slow to respond. She was standing in front of my desk with a low cut black office dress. Her hands were on my desk. I could see her fine fingers sprayed out in front of me. They were such lovely hands. I took her all in. I still loved women. The sudden relief Alice brought, helped.

'Sure Alice but please keep Bobby up to speed, I can't do anything until I get his drawings.'

Alice looked a little peevish at the thought of approaching our taciturn artist but she was the project leader and it was her responsibility. The last thing I needed now was a manipulative little girlie pout to have me do the dirty work. I looked at her, hard, before she could even try to persuade me otherwise.

'...oh alright then...'She grumbled childishly. Perhaps she should have worn a shorter skirt; I was picking that straight out of her head. She was a so easy to read. She tried to get her way with her male colleagues with a bit of flirting. On most days I would have been flattered. But today I was a nervous wreck. The last thing on my mind was to flirt. She leaned over and purposely sat her shapely behind on my desk. She looked in the direction of Chris and whispered.

'I think Chris got lucky last night. With that swagger and smile, I reckon he got fucked six shades of lipstick red. And hard too, he's been moving stiffly all morn-'

'Alice!' She looked down on me and smiled seductively. She thought she was getting me exciting talking like, that but she couldn't have been further from the truth. A cold shiver ran down my spine and my face took on a greyish hue.

'I'm not feeling very well. Excuse me.' I heard her little giggle behind me and it was beginning to get on my nerves. Everything was getting on my nerves today.

If only I had taken to her on the Christmas party night things wouldn't have been so bad. She was nice and not so bright. But a thought had occurred. I would have never cheated on Hilary, why did I at the party. I was so confused.

I found myself in the men's, trying to relax. I needed some space to think.

Unfortunately that wasn't going to happen as someone else had come in. I opened the cubical to leave but froze. There I was confronted with a distracted Chris washing his hands. What had actually stopped me was the sight of his back. A little blood had seeped into his shirt. One of his cuts must have opened without him realising. There I stood face to face with the horror I had inflicted on him and felt an intense self loathing. I didn't notice that he had now caught sight of me and was looking at my expression in the mirror. I looked up and saw him staring back.

My face went deep red, I was speechless. His eyes remained on mine as his lips spread into a taunting grin.

'You sure must give Hilary a run for her money.' He said finally. The ground slipped out from beneath me. Did he think I would hurt her like that? Did he think I was capable of hurting anyone like..., oh god! My mind flipped out and anger broke loose. I only saw red, and didn't notice the flash of fear in his eyes. My fist flew close past his ear and straight into the mirror which smashed up in front of him.

'Stay away from me and my family.' I growled. But I couldn't bring myself to look at him. I left and took half the day off on sick leave.

That night I lay in bed with Hilary but I couldn't bring myself to touch or talk to her. I could see her troubled expression. She knew something was wrong. I lay awake staring into the far side of the room. Whenever my eyes fell closed I was haunted with rippling and dancing muscles. The glowing white snake-like movements, jerking and flexing beneath me. I woke up sweating from a fever, hunted by nightmares.

'Jeremy...' I heard Hilary mumble in her sleep beside me. I got up to sleep on the couch.

For the past week I saw the world float by me. I had strangely lost contact with reality. Maybe it was the lack of sleep, or the fact that everything had returned to normal around me. I couldn't engage my thoughts with the daily work. Alice came into view with Bobby the artist. They said something to me about the project and I said a justifiable answer and they left me. People were going by like trains whilst I was stuck on a platform that was not in service.

I strangely found myself at the end of the day only to be facing that analogy. The trains back north had been cancelled due to someone under a train. Couldn't they choose another day to fulfil their blasted suicide attempts! I thought irrationally. I watched as five tardy trains slowly filtered through the platform in the last three hours, too full to cope with any more passengers. I was just about to give up when a set of carriage doors opened, revealing a pocket of space. I jumped in eagerly to avoid the alternative of taking three busses home. However there were at least four other people behind me with the same intention and instantly I was squashed, unable to move.

After a few minutes the doors closed and a heavy claustrophobia entered the cabin. The train moved slowly with jerks here and there. This trip was going to be torturously slow. I bent my head down slightly. I closed my eyes and felt very close to someone else. All these people, so close together, it was disgusting. I breathed in trying to relax and found a scent I thought was familiar.

My eyes flashed open and in front of my nose I saw a familiar shoulder. Then I noticed the blonde hair almost brushing against my face. I smelt sandalwood and my body gave an inward cringe.

Chris was tightly packed, right in front of me, with his back turned. I don't know if he knew I was there but he didn't show any recognition. I tried to shuffle to the side but only managed to gain a few angry words and looks.

The train came to a stop in the middle of nowhere. I started getting nervous. I needed to get out and to get far away from here but I was trapped.

Hang on a second, I thought, Chris might not even know it was me. I had to calm down so that I wouldn't alert his suspicion. I stood stock still, trying to breathe slowly and deeply. The train suddenly came to life jerking the passengers forward, and I found myself pushing heavily at the back of Chris. I had been now lodged carefully behind him somehow. It was torture. I could feel my groin pressing up against him. The train stopped suddenly again, inspiring some curses from the travellers.

I tried to think of other things, hoping the train would move smoothly and swiftly to the next stop where I could escape. But that was wishful thinking. The next jerky start had me bucking against Chris's backside again. It was becoming painful for me to not get aroused. Another jerk forward and I found myself almost moaning into his ear. I shut myself up quickly, praying he didn't hear.

I thought I had got away with it but then I saw him turn. He started with his head, and then he squeezed his shoulders round then the rest of his frame followed.

Oh god! Here he was facing me, in a tightly packed carriage. Here was the man I had raped earlier this week, stuck in the same train car as me and I had nowhere to run.

My heart started to beat uncontrollable. He was an inch or so taller than me but we still managed to see directly into each other's eyes. It was mortifying. What was even worse was that I realised I had started to get hard. He carried on staring at me, saying nothing. His eyes were blazing and I couldn't tell if it was from anger or something else.