Britney was long gone by the time Rio and Jay woke up on Sunday morning. She'd found a stray piece of paper and a pencil, and she'd left a handwritten note for them on the kitchen counter: 'Hey guys. Thank you so much for looking after me last night. I don't know what I would've done last night if not for you. Jay, I really like you. I know I've only known you for a short while, and I hid it at work, but I wanted you so bad. There's no point hiding it anymore, now that I know you're taken. I'm so happy to know that you're in an awesome relationship. And Rio, if your enormous dick ever takes a wrong turn, just know that I'm gonna be waiting to pounce on Jay. Just kidding! I love that you two are together. Anyway, hope to see you both again next time I lose my keys! See you at work tomorrow, Jay... xxx Britney'
Jay slowly drifted out of sleep. Rio was still hugging him. He slowly extricated himself from Rio's warm, sleepy embrace to check on Britney. She wasn't in the spare room; he assumed she'd woken early and left. He found her note in the kitchen and knew she'd gone to meet a locksmith so she could get back inside her apartment. After reading it, he took a quick piss, then went back to bed. Rio was still sleeping. He lay down beside him, and within a minute or two, Rio's heavy arms had embraced him as before.
Jay sighed. Rio snored.
Jay felt Rio's safe embrace as he thought about Britney. It had been a long time since Jay and his previous girlfriend broke up, and apart from a couple of one-night stands he regretted, he hadn't hooked up with a woman since then. Sex with Rio was awesome, and he loved watching football with him, but was Rio giving him everything he needed in life? Jay had a deep love of books that Rio didn't share, and he'd always wondered what it'd be like to be in a relationship with someone who loved literature as much as himself. He imagined Britney and himself sitting at opposite ends of their shared couch, touching feet, each absorbed in their own book; he knew that'd probably never happen with Rio unless he was reading that fucking thesaurus! He thought sex with Britney would be fulfilling, but on the other hand, nothing could ever compare to the feeling of being filled up by Rio's gigantic penis. And while Britney was exactly the kind of chubby, feisty chick that Jay lusted after, Rio's body was godlike in just about every sense.
The last thought that pulsed through his mind before he closed his eyes and went back to sleep was 'I don't know what to do.'
*
They woke up late in the morning. Jay was relatively sombre, and not really interested in conversation. Rio made a light breakfast for them both, and they sat at the kitchen bench, silently munching food and sipping coffee. Rio could tell there was something weighing heavily on Jay's mind. He caught Jay staring aimlessly out the window once or twice. "You OK, dude?"
Jay snapped back to reality. "Huh? What? Umm... yeah, I'm fine." He looked down at his plate. "Breakfast is really good, thanks man." He sipped his coffee and went back to looking out the window.
Rio wasn't convinced. He suspected Jay's heart was affected by last night. He was true to what he'd said last night -- if Jay wanted to fuck Britney, he had absolutely no problem with that. But did Jay want something else? Was there something missing from Jay's life? Perhaps there was something that Rio wasn't giving him?
Rio thought back to his previous relationship which he'd described to Jay at length. His relationship with his former partner disintegrated because his work became all-consuming, his mental health deteriorated as a result, and his partner felt frozen out of his life. But as far as Rio understood, the current situation wasn't anything like that. Rio's wasn't overloaded with work right now, mentally he felt quite well-balanced, and he couldn't think of anything he'd done lately to push Jay away. And he knew they both loved football.
He didn't have the psychological tools for this. He didn't quite know what to do or say. He worried that Jay was falling for someone else, and that his big dick might not be enough to keep him. Would Rio's world fall apart if Jay walked away? He didn't know. All he could do right now was to be patient.
Jay was still staring out the window. Rio watched him. 'I don't know what to do,' Rio thought to himself.
*
Jay spent his Sunday afternoon sprawled out on the couch with his nose buried in a thick book. Rio went to the gym and pounded some heavy weights to distract himself. His tattooed, beautiful pecs heaved and glistened in the mirror. After burning off some stress and anxiety, he showered and changed. After leaving the gym, he purchased some takeout food home for Jay and himself on the way home.
Rio opened the front door and placed the takeout on the kitchen bench. He sat on the edge of the couch. Jay hadn't moved all afternoon; he was still reading. "Hey, man. Brought some food home for dinner," Rio said.
Jay found his bookmark and closed his book. He looked at Rio and smiled. "Thanks, dude. Food smells good." He leaned in towards Rio. "You smell good too."
"Uhh... thanks, Jay. Showered at the gym."
"Hot." Jay lifted his ass off the couch and kissed Rio. "Thanks for bringing dinner home."
Rio's tongue buried itself in Jay's mouth, but he felt subtle resistance. The gym always made Rio horny, and he felt himself getting hard. He was about to increase the tempo, but Jay broke the kiss to remind him about the dinner he'd brought home which was probably going cold.
Rio cooled his boots. He wasn't sure whether Jay broke the kiss because of the food, or whether the food was an excuse: perhaps he wanted some distance. He brought the food over to the TV table, along with some cutlery and napkins. They dived into spicy Thai takeout. Rio turned the television on, and they watched part of a documentary about bees while they ate. Rio's cock deflated.
"You have a good time last night?" Rio asked.
Jay swallowed a mouthful of stir-fried noodles. "Guess so."
Rio had hoped for a more expansive answer than that. "What do you mean?" he probed.
Jay took another mouthful of vegies. He chewed thoughtfully. "I don't really know."
Rio looked at Jay. He was clearly absorbed in an internal dialogue, and not yet ready or willing to talk about last night.
They ate side by side, in silence. Rio dropped a heavy hand onto Jay's knee. He wasn't sure what else to do. Jay forced himself to smile.
Rio couldn't understand Jay's behaviour or response. While Britney was in the shower last night, he told Jay that he loved him. Didn't that mean anything to him? Did it fall on deaf ears, or was it too late? Was it too long between last night, and the last time he'd said those few words, many months ago? Rio had drifted off to sleep last night confident that Jay knew where he stood with him, but on reflection, he wasn't sure whether he and Jay were on the same page right now.
Rio's thought processes stopped at the crucial question. 'Do I *really* love Jay?' he thought to himself, 'or am I just saying that I do?' It was a deep question, as deep as the deepest ocean, and he couldn't answer it.
"You can fuck her whenever you want, you know," Rio blurted. Jay stared at him, anger building up inside. The momentary silence that followed was like fingernails being dragged down a chalkboard. "I mean... you know that already, right? I said it last night."
Jay tensed up. To him, the words 'you can fuck her whenever you want' implied Rio had some kind of control over Jay's sex life, almost as if he needed Rio's imprimatur to hook up with Britney (or indeed anyone else), when Rio's intention was to convey the exact opposite meaning. Jay took a deep breath. "Why'd you say that again just now, Rio?"
Rio sighed. "Because I just get this sense that she's on your mind right now." They both knew who Rio was talking about.
"Yeah. She is," Jay said. "I hope she's OK. I assume she got her keys replaced and that she's back in her apartment."
"Yeah, me too," said Rio. "Have you heard from her today?"
"No," replied Jay.
"I don't mind if you fuck her," Rio reiterated. "You know that, right?"
"Dude, shut the fuck up. Just shut up, you asshole. Stop saying that," Jay spat. "You're seriously making me feel pissed right now. What's wrong with you? You've said that so many times I'm starting to wonder if you're insecure about something. I don't need your fucking permission."
Rio's words had come out terribly wrong. What he was trying to say was something like 'I don't care if you two swap bodily fluids, I don't even care if you sleep at her place, but please don't fall for her, because maybe I love you'. He knew his words were wrong, but in this moment, he couldn't find a way to make them right.
"Fuck you, asshole." Jay got up and left the room. He left half of his dinner on the TV table.
Something serious and important remained unspoken. Jay wrestled with his truth and his consciousness. All Rio could do was wait.
They showered -- individually -- and prepared for sleep. Jay was due at the library early tomorrow morning. Jay seriously considered sleeping in the spare room tonight, but he worried that this might inflame the situation in his head even further. They slept in the same bed, side by side, but Rio didn't hug Jay like he usually did. Jay lay on his side, facing the wall. Rio kept his distance, staring at the ceiling with his huge, flaccid cock drooping heavily on his thigh, waiting for sleep to come. He listened to the sirens wailing in the distance, and he wondered what a true and complete silence sounded like.
Jay heard Rio snoring well before he managed to find his own sleep. It's not easy to go to sleep when you're angry.
*
By the time Rio woke up the next morning, Jay had already left for work. Jay was already tired before the day had even started; he didn't sleep well last night.
Rio knew Jay would be spending the day with Britney. They'd both seen the note she left for Jay before she left on Sunday morning, where she wrote about how happy she was to see Jay with Rio. Had she changed her mind since she wrote that note? What would she say to Jay at work this morning? And just as importantly, what would Jay say to her in response?
Rio's phone pinged. The producer of the scene he recently shot wanted to inform him that it would be published very soon, and that cash would be landing in his account today. He also asked if he was interested in shooting more scenes. Of course he was -- fuck yes! He couldn't reply fast enough.
He was excited. This was the kind of news he'd love to share with Jay, and ordinarily, he knew Jay would share in his excitement. But given Jay's odd mood yesterday, he wasn't sure how enthusiastically he'd react to it.
Jay spent the day hard at work. Coffee was the only thing that got him through the day. He was up and down ladders in the stack retrieving dusty, long-forgotten books, while Britney worked on the counter. They didn't have much time to talk throughout the day and they couldn't meet up for lunch. Jay managed to catch her briefly around their afternoon break, but their conversation was strange and brief. Britney felt distant and reserved, which Jay didn't expect -- she was the complete opposite on Saturday night. Jay felt like Britney had put up an emotional wall to protect herself, but Jay didn't know what it was she was protecting. Jay thought it best to keep his distance from her, and to wait until Britney was ready. At the very least, he wanted to still be her friend. And yes, he still wanted to hook up with her, assuming she was still open to it. But she obviously wasn't open to it today, so there'd be no nookie in the biology section after work.
