Recollections of My First

Author's note:

I didn't ever think that my first story would be received so well, so from the bottom of my heart, thank you all! Since I'm going off memory alone, and I've vowed to keep the story as true to actual events as possible, it may take longer than some would like for subsequent chapters to be published. I'm not a professional writer; I work two jobs and most of the first drafts are written on my phone in my downtime. Patience is a virtue, and I hope that the rest of the story (I saw Ryan for a few months) is a suitable reward. I currently have an outline for 10+ chapters, with more easily possible.

Now, some have asked for a little more context:

I was 19, Ryan was 25 or 26 at the time. I'm 6'0, he was only an inch or an inch and a half taller than me, but when we were together, he had a way of making me feel smaller. We had similar builds - broad shoulders, small waists, and both in good shape. I still had some baby fat but was working out regularly. He was much more toned, not a muscle-head but you could tell he took care of his body. He had chestnut brown hair that he kept short, a devilish smirk that I've mentioned enough times already, and penetrating light blue eyes. He was 100% gay, had never been with a woman, and told me he had no interest in it when my naïve curious self asked. If I had met him organically, I never would have guessed that he wasn't straight, and that's a big part of what attracted me to him. At the time, I still struggled with a slight homophobia, probably due to my own deep-seated shame and curiosity, and so I probably never would have pulled the trigger if he had been more flamboyant. Just being honest to my feelings at the time.

I'll continue to sprinkle in context as needed.

****

Hearing me step out of the washroom, Ryan poked his head out of the kitchen. "Hey, I forgot to ask what you wanted to drink - I've pretty much got anything to be honest."

"Uhh..." I thought out loud as I walked towards him. "Just a vodka water if you have it."

His face took on a look of disappointment. "Awe damn, I'm fresh out of water! Just straight vodka for you I'm sorry to say!" he laughed, his head disappearing back around the corner. "Although...maybe not so straight anymore, hey?" he added, chuckling at his own joke.

I blushed but couldn't help but smile a little as I leaned against the wide kitchen archway. "You just want me drunk I think."

"Nah man, I was just teasing. I just want you to relax a little, and a few stiff drinks will help take the edge off" he said, reaching into the freezer to grab some ice.

My eyes took him all in, inevitably landing on his naked backside where I could watch that heavy, cum-filled sack dangle between his legs as he generously free-poured the vodka.

I guess not quite so full of cum anymore though, I mused to myself, already replaying in my mind the epic facial I had just received.

Turning towards me with drinks in hand, his now-soft yet oh-so manly uncut cock swung into view, and I stood there mesmerized watching it sway and bounce towards me.

He cleared his throat, breaking the spell, and my eyes quickly lifted to meet his gaze.

"Sorry" I mumbled sheepishly, my face feeling hot.

"I don't mind if you stare, but you're kinda blocking the doorway!" he laughed warm heartedly. I turned to let him by and had to refrain myself from reaching out and taking him into my hand.

Damnit Ben, focus! You're acting like a starving dog with a new favourite bone!

Shaking my head, I followed Ryan back to the large sectional couch. I was amazed at how comfortable he was walking around naked in front of me. Even as fit as I was myself, I had never possessed the level of self-confidence that would allow me to stroll about in my birthday suit in front of anyone, and I told him so.

He set our glasses down onto a couple of coasters that were on the coffee table, then unceremoniously flopped back into the corner of the couch.

"Eh, I've always been sort of a nudist; as a kid I thought it was hilarious to go streaking and yelling through the house." He leaned forward for his drink, then took a long swig. "Suffice it to say, my folks didn't bring me to the neighbours' very often, ha! But yeah, my family was really open growing up, and there was never any shaming or judgement, so that's probably why I feel so comfortable like this" he said, gesturing with his glass at his nakedness.

Picking up my glass, I tipped it back and drank nearly half of it before sitting down conspicuously far away from him on the edge of the couch. He was making me feel as comfortable as possible, but I was still too shy to act normally.

He smiled knowingly; my awkwardness was far too obvious to escape notice. I could feel him staring at me, and I did my best to look everywhere but directly at him, painfully aware of his casually exposed manhood.

The silence stretched between us until he finally broke it with a laugh.

"Okay, okay fine! I'll stop torturing you and put some pants on" he grinned boyishly at me and made to stand up.

"No!" I blurted out far too quickly, my eyes snapping to his cock instinctively. "I mean...no, it's okay. I-I just don't know what to say or how to act. It's just a lot to take in, you know?" I downed the rest of my drink, then set it back on the table.

"But you took it ALL in like a champ," he winked, causing me to groan and bury my face in my palms at his relentless teasing.

I felt him stand up and move towards me then, stopping when his shin bumped mine. A strong hand found my wrist, gently yet firmly pulling it away from my face. I looked up, getting an eyeful of deliciously dangling dick.

"Remember what I said before? Relax, we don't have to do anything more tonight, and you definitely shouldn't feel embarrassed about earlier" he said calmly, still holding my wrist. "I'll understand if you're having second thoughts now; I don't want you to feel any pressure whatsoever here."

In truth, the quickly dwindling straight side of me did feel dirty and ashamed, but it was monumentally overshadowed by a growing desire for more, coupled with the simple fact that my nineteen-year-old body didn't have enough blood coursing through it to support contemplative thought while simultaneously maintaining my now constant erection.

I cleared my throat, glancing up at his crotch. "It's not that I don't want more, because honestly I do, and badly" I told him, my voice shaking. "But I just...I don't know" I finished lamely.

There was a moment of stillness before I felt him pull on my wrist, and I watched as he guided my hand to rest against his soft cock. An electric shock ran through me at the contact and my fingers tentatively opened to wrap themselves around him.

It felt so fucking good in my hand - warm, soft, and so much bigger than what I was used to working with. It wasn't that my own dick was inadequate by any means, it was just that his was so goddamned impressive, and at least twice as thick. He should have been in porn.

"Do you like holding it?" he asked, releasing my wrist.

I just nodded, squeezing lightly. I loved it.

"Then how about this: you go grab the vodka out of the freezer and a couple bottles of water out of the fridge, then come back out here and you can hold it some more. I'll pick out a movie and we can just sit and watch it, no need to talk. Sound good?"

It sounded perfect, so I swiftly agreed, and he stepped back to let me up. I wasted no time bounding to the kitchen and back, where I found him lounging in his original position, flipping through Netflix, one leg stretched out on the couch.

"Want to turn off the lights before you sit down?" he asked, reaching out to take the bottles from me and nodding his head towards the light switch behind me.

With the lights off, I felt my nervousness fade and my excitement rise, as if somehow my perverse lust had been on display for the whole world to see but was now properly hidden under the cover of darkness.

Feeling that brief surge of confidence, I pulled off my shirt and tossed it to the floor before sitting down next to him, my hand immediately finding its home in his lap.

Over the next few minutes, I occupied myself by quite literally playing with his dick. While the movie played in the background, multi-colored lights flickering softly in my peripherals, I leaned in closer to him and watched my hand explore his manhood. There was nothing overtly sexual in the way my fingers prodded and squeezed; in that moment it was pure innocent curiosity that drove me. To his credit, Ryan said nothing and at least pretended to be watching whatever was playing on the screen.

He shifted, lifting the arm that I had squished between us, then pulled me closer while I continued my ministrations. The intimacy of our position and the fact that we were essentially cuddling didn't bother me like I thought it would have; I sincerely enjoyed the newfound role-reversal, and the mental walls I had built around the idea of not doing anything "gay" were starting to crumble.

Because blowing a near-stranger and letting him cum on my face wasn't nearly as gay, I mused.

He clearly had a million times more control over his erections than I did, because after probably ten straight minutes of me snuggled into him and playfully bouncing and squeezing his cock, he was only at half-mast.

"Feel free to get a closer look if you want," his voice came gently from above. "It's fun watching you play with it."

I turned my head up and tried my best to mimic his trademark smirk. "I thought you were supposed to be watching the movie."

"Busted" he smiled, briefly looking like he would lean in and attempt a kiss, but instead said "let's get more comfortable, then I promise I'll keep pretending to stare at the TV."

I got up to allow him to readjust, and he scooted out of the corner of the sectional to sit where I had just been, then stretched his toned legs out onto the coffee table and leaned back casually.

While he repositioned, I picked up his glass and drank deeply, not really needing any extra alcohol-awarded confidence but was feeling warm and genuinely thirsty. Once he was fully settled, I took my place further down the couch, this time laying half on my stomach and half on my side, my head resting on his hip and my left arm snaked behind him.

"Better?" he asked, his own arm now coming to rest on the bare skin of my back.

With my new favorite toy now pleasantly only inches from my face, I once again took it in hand and gently squeezed. "Much better" I nodded.

By the sporadically dancing light emanating from the TV, I held him in my palm, fascinated by how perfectly sexy his cock looked, not yet fully hard but still impressive in its manly bulk.

What truly held my attention though was his foreskin, something that I personally lacked. I loved watching as his skin stretched and molded around the fat mushroom head underneath until it was pulled back, emerging from its hiding place to wink at me like it was some sort of naughty-Groundhog Day.

Curiosity got the better of me, so I angled his slowly growing cock towards my lips and took just the tip into my mouth and tentatively pushed my tongue inside the protective fold, then wiggled it back and forth.

"Mmm, keep doing that" he sighed, his hand beginning to explore my back.

Without stopping, I turned over to be fully on my stomach, holding myself up at the elbows to get a better angle, then began to swirl my tongue in lazy circles around the head. It felt intimate yet dirty at the same time, and I loved it.

As his dick continued to harden under my inexperienced yet enthusiastic attention, my tongue had less and less room to work, being slowly squeezed out by his growing girth. With one last wiggle of my tongue between his glans and foreskin, Ryan's cock flexed to its full, stiff glory, pushing me out entirely.

"You sure this is your first time?" he asked, his hand roaming just above my ass in the small of my back.

I scooted forward slightly to put my head directly over his lap. "I'm pretty sure I'd remember something like this" I replied, waving his cock playfully back and forth at him.

"Why don't you take off your jeans and get a little more comfortable" he said, smiling and pulling on my waistband for emphasis.

I didn't need much convincing, since my own erection was pinned uncomfortably underneath me, and I was secretly excited for him to finally find the surprise that was waiting for him.

I pushed myself up and onto my feet, giving his cock a quick little lick as I did so. Without ceremony I unbuttoned my pants and slid them off, underwear and all, then hastily resumed my position before he could fully witness the state of arousal I was in. He might have been supremely comfortable in his own skin, but I sure as hell wasn't ready to flaunt my slightly average six inches in front of him.

His hand immediately found my ass and gave it a squeeze. "That's much better."

Feeling that strong hand gripping my ass, I couldn't wait any longer and lowered my head to take his engorged cock back into my hungry mouth. Propped up on my elbows again, I started to slowly bob up and down on his solid shaft in short, slow motions.

He groaned softly and began to knead my bare buns, alternating back and forth between each cheek. My heart skipped a beat each time the tips of his fingers dug in along my crack, and I couldn't help but whimper a little at the seemingly inevitable discovery he was soon to make.

Just as I was sure he would finally make contact with the soft silicone plug at last, I felt his hand leave my ass and move agonizingly slowly up my spine, tracing small circles with his fingers as he went that sent shivers throughout my body. In frustration at the pent-up anticipation, I opened my mouth wide and tried my best to take his entire length down my throat.

"Fuck, you're getting good at that" he said as my tongue stretched out to touch the base of his cock. "I swear I could let you do this all night".

I let his shining cock slide from my mouth and began to swirl my tongue along his thick shaft in mimic to his fingers on my spine. "Sounds good to me, I don't have anywhere to be" I replied boldly between licks, drunk more on lust for my new favorite hobby than from the alcohol coursing warmly through my veins.

"That's tempting, but I think it's my turn to give you a little attention" he said as he began to extricate himself from the couch.

I looked up at him questioningly as he stood, his hand reaching down and beckoning me to follow suit.

"Stand up" he told me in response to my look.

Unsure of what he was going to do, I pushed myself up off my stomach and got to my feet, nervously standing in front of him, vainly holding my hands in front of me to try and hide my erection. I could feel the heat building in my cheeks with my embarrassment.

"Put your hands down" he ordered. I did as I was told, feeling far too exposed and wishing the power would go out and plunge us into utter darkness.

He stepped closer and I felt his warm hand wrap itself around my previously neglected cock, eliciting a gasp from me as my body shivered at his touch.

"You're so hard" he exclaimed, giving me a squeeze, "I think someone really likes sucking cock."

I squeezed my eyes shut, unable to look him in the eyes. I was so turned on by the whole situation that it took every ounce of self-control I had not to blow my load in his hand right then and there.

Another guy is holding my cock, holy fuck, please God, don't make me cum. I wasn't religious, but I prayed with all my heart anyway, just in case.

"You have such a nice cock, it fits perfectly in my hand" he stated, gently beginning to tug on it.

I looked down to witness him slowly stroking my dick between us, and my eyes inevitably landed on his own untended member. He was at most only an inch and a half longer, but fuck was he thick. Compared to his manly girth, mine looked like the tiny dick of a young boy.

"It's...it's not very big" I said lamely, reaching out to grip his gloriously rigid cock. "Not like yours."

He squeezed harder. "It's perfect. Here, watch."

With that, he brought my dick next to his and held them side by side in his outstretched palm. "See how sexy that looks? I love that yours is smaller. It's a huge turn on for me knowing you fuck girls with this," he said, squeezing my cock, "but all the while you secretly crave this" he hefted his own mammoth rod.

The scene did look oddly sexy; the image of his solid steel bar of a cock next to my less well-endowed self made me feel small on an entirely other level of existence, and I liked it immensely.

"Now, how should I return the favor for the mind-blowing head you've been giving me?" he asked with a smirk as he started to stroke me again.

I bit my lip and mentally held myself back. "Honestly I'm already so fucking close, but I really don't want to cum yet" I told him, worried that if I came, I'd inevitably come to my senses and want to leave.

"Mmm, close already and I've barely touched you, I REALLY like that" he said, then released my cock to put both his hands on my ass and pull my body into his, mashing our dicks together. Our faces were only inches apart. "How about we go to my room, and I just give you a nice relaxing back rub instead, and after that I promise I'll let you suck me off all night" he said with a smirk, looking directly into my eyes as he gripped my ass from behind.

Once again, I felt as if he wanted to lean in and kiss me but was holding himself back. I wasn't ready to make that move myself, but with his hands on my ass and holding me close, in that moment I probably would have accepted it wholeheartedly. Instead, I just held his gaze and nodded, "A backrub sounds nice."

With a final squeeze, he let me go and stepped around the coffee table, then held his hand out to me. "Shall we?" he asked, mockingly gentlemanlike.

Embarrassed, I took his hand and let him lead me up the stairs and down a short hallway to his room, feeling like a lost puppy being led back to its owner. In the dark, I couldn't make out much of my surroundings other than the large shadow of a bed in the center of the opposite wall.

"Lay down on your stomach" he told me, letting go of my hand and stepping to the side of the bed to rummage in his nightstand.

I felt my way blindly to the middle of the plush mattress and laid down, my head turned away from him and my arms outstretched above me.

A dim, flickering light came to life that cast long shadows against the far wall, and the sound of his footsteps preceded him as he came into view to light another candle, bathing us in a cozy, seductive glow.

He turned towards me, and the warm light that played fitfully across his toned body was a scene that belonged on the cover of some sultry romance novel marketed towards middle aged women. My whole body felt loose and pleasantly fuzzy from all the booze, and I closed my eyes in contented relaxation.

I felt the mattress shift as he crawled onto the bed beside me before straddling my hips, where his heavy balls came to rest in the small of my back.

"Oil or no oil?" he asked quietly, settling his weight firmly on top of me.

"Oil, please" I mumbled my reply into the comforter.

I heard the click of a small bottlecap being popped open, then winced as the cold liquid touched my skin.

His hands quickly followed, spreading the oil across my shoulders then down my spine, and began to knead away the last vestiges of tension left in my previously nervous body. Time stood still as he expertly worked on knots I hadn't even known were there, and in those few immeasurable moments I was putty in his hands. And drooling.

"How does that feel?" a voice floated down from above as warm hands fanned across my lower back.