Rebound

---Authors note---

I had to split this story up into parts, and alarmingly I noticed this part is ALL PLOT and NO SEX which is very distressing to me and I understand if you want to skip it. I would.

Sex does return in Part 4 which is hopefully the end because boy, is this getting long or what?

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The next morning

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Saturday

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Nate

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Thank god we were at mine. I dabbed at my face in front of the bathroom mirror, trying to at least clean some of the blood off. If Russell saw this we'd have a homicide on our hands. I swallowed and winced as I applied arnica- which was probably total bullshit and did nothing but despite my notoriety for constantly being covered in scrapes and bruises, this was kind of a new one and I didn't know what to do. I glanced up as I heard the door creak open and Darius stumbled in.

"Fuck, my head." He moaned. He reached for me and blinked as we caught each other's eyes in the mirror. My heart rate sped up. He paused. His jaw fell open. "Fuck! Your face!" Time sped up and he reached out for me, wrapping his arms around me and gently tilting my face to look at him. "Nate- what the fuck happened last night?" He whispered. I swallowed as I looked at him. Did he... really.... Not...? But his eyes looked sincere. He looked worried. I avoided his eye.

"I got wasted and had a minor fight with a tree." I said cautiously. "Do you not remember? The tree won- but it was pretty close." Darius laughed and squeezed me.

"Are you ok?" He said, holding me close and pushing my hair off my face. "Should we go to A and E?" I pushed him off me gently.

"Na, it's super fine." I said. "Looks fucking awful though- do you think they'll let me in at the shelter?" Darius laughed.

"They must be used to you with bumps and bruises." He winced. "Although this one is particularly nasty." He shook his head. "Tell me where that tree is, I might have to have words with it." I laughed, and we showered, joking with each other like everything was normal.

He dropped me off and kissed me goodbye, catching my chin before he left.

"Are you sure I can't get you anything for that?" I raised my eyebrows. But nothing. Really, truly nothing on his face but concern. I wonder what it's like to get that blackout? I kind of wish I had been actually.

"Na." I smiled. "I'll see ya soon D."

God knows why I was lying for him.

----

Jude

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Levi handed me two pills and a glass of water as I crawled out of bed and into the kitchen.

"Thanks." I took them gratefully.

"Your drinking is out of control." He said stiffly, barely deigning to look at me. I glared at him. as if he wasn't the reason for that.

"I had two glasses of wine." I gestured to the mostly full bottle still on the kitchen counter. "I went dancing. I had a few more. Jesus Lee." He sat opposite me at the table and folded his arms.

"You went dancing?" He scoffed. "That's... there's no way." I sighed and sank in my seat. Yeah, dancing was very, very far from a good time in my opinion. I don't think I'd actually been dancing since I was 21. But when Levi wasn't home and wasn't answering calls I decided you know what, fuck it, this could still be a lovely night. I dressed down, because with him out of the picture I didn't have to pretend I cared. I went to Birdcage, where the drinks are cheap which is grand- but better than that they do dine in for the hole in the wall chicken wing joint next door. There is nothing better than an espresso martini and spicy hot wings for curing mild depression, and I'll stand by that. Once that itch was scratched I wandered around the city, bouncing from Shepard, to drink champagne and eat oysters- to Puffin, to sample the natural wine... And then it was late and something about the synth at San Fran was drawing me in, even though the hordes of young people in mesh and glitter were REALLY not my scene. I think it was something Nate once said. About crying and dancing. You know, I never understood that before... but I almost did when I was sitting outside and letting the music wash over me and finding that my foot was tapping and tears were spilling all over my face.

"Where were you last night, if you're so damn concerned?" I muttered. Levi caught my hand.

"Do you really want to know the answer to that?" He asked. I blinked. I looked up at him. Not really. I looked away, and stared at the table and felt my eyes fill with tears again. Why wasn't I enough for him?

"Why did you propose?" I whispered. He sighed.

"I love you more than life itself." He said.

"Then why are you STILL sleeping around?" Levi sighed. He didn't even pretend to deny it.

"I don't know." He said quietly.

-----

We didn't say anything else to each other all morning. I showered and got changed, and walked aimlessly out the front door without saying goodbye. I reached Newtown, and did a bit of window shopping and noticed I was heading up the hill. To the SPCA. Where Nate would be.

I smiled as I thought about him. He'd been there last night, and he was absolutely off his face, and he spotted me and wrapped his arms around me and even though he was high as a kite I still might have kissed him. Thank god his slightly less spacey boyfriend was there. As much as I disliked that guy, he absolutely saved my ass last night when he dragged Nate home. Stupid idea to go to the shelter. Although, actually, Nate probably wouldn't even be there. He had to be coming down hard.

But I turned the corner and there he was, kneeling and playing with a bundle of kittens.

"Hey Nate!" I greeted him. He stood up slowly and glanced at me over his shoulder. He winced as he turned towards me and my smile faltered. "Shit. Nate."

Oh shit. Nate. I had the weirdest feeling where I both wanted to hit something and to wrap him in my arms at the same time. I don't think I'd ever had the flare up of wanting to protect someone so badly before. My heart was thumping. That was one hell of a bruise. Shit. Maybe I should have been watching him more carefully last night. Shit. I mean Darius was probably fucking wasted- he gave me the filthiest look as he carried Nate out of the bar... ah shit, shit. Poor Nate.

"Yeah, not my best look." He said lightly. "Should have seen the tree though, I really gave him what for." I bit my lip. Oh. Poor Nate.

"Tree, huh?" I said quietly. Nate smiled widely.

"Yep, you know me. Apparently the clumsiness gets worse when I'm drunk." He grinned. Not your place, Jude. But you know, at the same time, fuck it.

"This tree wouldn't happen to be like 6'5 and have an eyebrow piercing would it?" Nate's face fell. He shook his head unconvincingly. I normally wouldn't, but.. this was Nate. I sighed. "I don't think it gets better by ignoring it, Nate." Real sage words from someone who ignored his problems for years but hey. Nate shook his head again.

"Look, it's really not like that." He said. "D is an ass sometimes but this one's all me." He sighed. "Promise." He said firmly. "You wanna hang out with the puppies? They're old enough for adoption now but no one else is in so just us again." I nodded silently and let him lead me through the shelter, the spring in his step no less pronounced than usual. Nice try, kid. Puppies weren't gonna distract me that much. He unlocked the door, humming to himself and scooped up two puppies, handing me one as he cooed over the other. I watched him silently. "They're so cute eh?" He said happily. "Do you want to feed them?" I nodded, and he talked me through the various dietary requirements for dogs, and told me all about the day he had planned for them and I listened silently. "You're very quiet today." He said as his chatter ran out. "Hungover?"

"I wasn't half as wasted as you last night." I smiled at him. He winced.

"Ooooh. Yeah." He coughed. "Uh, sorry. I was... a little much." I shook my head.

"Never happened." I said. "Although on that note. Things that never happened..." Nate turned away from me swiftly. "Don't cover for him." I said. Nate's shoulders slumped forward. "Look, I know being in love can be hard. I know you want to think he's amazing, and he'd never really hurt you, and I know you think you're just protecting something special between you two but..."

"Not love." Nate mumbled. "Barely like." He said. "And I said it wasn't him, and if you don't believe me I can't change that but it wasn't him."

"Ok." I said. "Well. I'm here if you ever want to talk." Nate shook his head and turned back to me with a smile.

"Want to walk them with me?" He asked brightly. I sighed. Well. I mean... maybe? Maybe he was telling the truth. Maybe I just wanted Darius to be a bad guy.

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Nate

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Fuck. The last voice in the world I wanted to hear. No, actually, third to last after my mother and Russell. I glanced over my shoulder as Jude approached me. Ugh. He knew I'd be here! Why did he show up?! He must know I needed, like, a solid week of avoiding him before I could be normal again. My palms started sweating as I remembered draping myself over him like a whore and muttering about how perfect he was. I turned around and his big smile dropped from his face immediately. Oh yeah. And I'd also been punched in the face. Well, at least that was a minor distraction from behaving like a dumb slut on MD.

"Shit. Nate." He said flatly. I winced. I mumbled the same excuse I'd given to Darius but I could see from his face he didn't believe me for a second. Well, everyone is always ready to believe the worst of Darius. Not that they're wrong, I guess. But he really is more than just a shitty drunk. I think. You should hear the things he tells me when he thinks I'm asleep. Projects he's thinking about, interesting birds he's seen, how pretty my eyes are... I'm just saying he's not the pitbull everyone thinks he is.

"You wanna hang out with the puppies?" I asked Jude. He was almost as dopey as I was around dogs, I knew he'd say yes. I invited him into their little quarters and told him all about their mum, a sweet old Beagle, and his dad who we actually had no idea about although the vets said he must have been a Lab. I talked him through their food and their day and basically anything to keep talking because the whole time he was giving me this shrewd frowny face like he was biting back doing something awful like telling me how worried he was for me.

I can carry on pretty well talking to myself, but even I have my limits, and there's only so enthusiastic you can be in a one sided conversation. I had to slow down eventually.

"You're very quiet today." I said. He gave me sweet fuck all. Thanks Jude. "Hungover?" I teased. He raised his eyebrows at me and smirked. Yeah, shouldn't have invited that. That was a major apology I needed to give, but he waved it aside. He pressed me about D. For a second I almost gave in.

Maybe it's a pride thing. I know I'm a ditz but I'm not stupid. And only stupid boys stay with guys who beat them up. Maybe if I lied enough I would believe it.

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Monday

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Nate

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Alex was silently making breakfast when I got up, and he looked at me and nodded, his lips tight. I nodded back and started to boil the jug, but he stopped me and gestured at some coffee on the table. He sighed as I thanked him and tapped his fingers on the kitchen bench.

"So." He said. "You got in a fight?" Uggghhh. The bruise had faded. It just looked mildly noticeable, you know, like I'd been punched in the face a couple of nights ago. I'd brought some makeup and was pretty sure, after incognito watching some makeup videos, that I could hide it entirely. Which I wouldn't have bothered with except that I work with my older brother and there was absolutely no way he was falling for my bullshit. I shrugged at Alex.

"Yeah." I said. "I got... I took a little too much on Friday night. I'm actually not sure what happened. Uhhh... just woke up with a black eye." I laughed and smiled at him as warmly as I could muster. "I'm such a dumbass." Alex stared at me and nodded his head slowly. Yeah. He didn't buy that for a second. Man. Not even Alex was falling for it huh? I definitely couldn't convince Russell. Alex sat next to me and nibbled on his toast.

"I used to work for Youthline." He said. "You want the number? It's free to call and it's anonymous." I glanced at him. I almost said, you know- 'woah, woah, woah... why would I need that...' but the words died on my lips. I wonder if he'd been home. I wonder if he heard the whole thing. I swallowed.

"Ok." I said. He scribbled it down and pushed the bit of paper over to me.

"They're really good, you know, if you just want to talk, not even about anything, just to talk. You know, sometimes you can't talk to people you're close with because maybe you feel like you're stupid, or you did something- and even though that's not true, it's definitely easier with like, a voice on the phone..." I smiled at him and awkwardly touched his shoulder.

"Thanks Al." I said. "I'll give it a go."

----

I called the number on the walk to work, and waited on the line for about ten minutes before someone answered.

"I don't know why I'm calling." I said. "My flatmate thinks it would be good to talk."

"About anything in particular?" The voice on the other end said. A girl, youngish. She actually sounded a bit bored, which I kind of liked.

"Well I mean, it was prompted because I have a black eye, and he thinks my boyfriend did it."

"Sounds like you have a very caring flatmate." She said. "I once got a black eye because I reached for a book on the top shelf of my bookshelf and the shelf collapsed. It really hurt." I laughed. This wasn't what I'd expected from a help line.

"It really hurts!" I agreed. "I keep rubbing my face and then I remember. Not to mention I feel like an idiot, and it's so embarrassing when people look at you, like you've got a flashing sign on your head saying 'feel sorry for me'." She laughed.

"Gah." She said. "Pity, right? Like hey, I'm a strong independent person and I don't need your pity!"

"Exactly!" I grinned. "Did you tell people about the bookshelf?"

"Eh, I kept it vague." She said. "I'm a bit clumsy and I play a lot of sport so it wasn't totally out of character. I guess it would have been annoying if it was out of character. Like everyone wants to know why it happened but then the answer will never satisfy them. Especially if they've already made up their mind, like your flatmate."

"He's right." I swallowed. "It was my boyfriend."

"Ah." She sighed. "Keep the flatmate, ditch the boyfriend." I laughed.

"Are you meant to tell me what to do like that?"

"I'm meant to listen." She said. "And check that you're not a suicide risk and if you are I'll escalate. But you're not a suicide risk. Just a health and safety risk. And since my priority is your safety, anything that gives you black eyes is considered a risk. My advice is don't indulge in risky behaviour."

"So don't go reaching for books?"

"I brought a stepladder." She said. "Risk mitigated."

"Right. Actually, that's where I went wrong. He's only like that when he drinks, and I fucked up and drank with him."

"You didn't fuck up." She said kindly. "Don't blame your actions. You can control you but you can't control everything."

"I can control not drinking with him."

"But you can't control him drinking." She said. "That's a bomb waiting to go off, isn't it?" I swallowed.

"He isn't really that guy." I said. "He's never done that before... well. Not to me."

"First time for everything." She said. "Are you ok? I mean, bruised, obviously, but are you feeling safe? You got anyone other than your flatmate looking out for you?"

"My brother looks out for me." I snorted. "Maybe too much. I'm a little scared he's gonna actually kill D if he finds out."

"Well, that's not really going to solve the problem." She said. "Tell him to be less reactive and more proactive." I laughed.

"Proactive how?"

"Tell him to help you move forward, in a healthy way." I sighed.

"I'm nearly at work." I said. "If I call again can I reach you?"

"Probably not." She said. "You can email if you like, tell them you were speaking to Clara. I don't know, I've never been requested before. I feel like a call girl." I grinned.

"Clara, my sweet gal." I sighed. "I'm Nate. I'll pay double." She laughed.

"Thanks for nothing then, Nate. Glad you called. Look after yourself. Take some space before you meet up with your boyfriend ok? And tell your brother."

"Thanks. I'll ignore all of that." I hung up.

I did feel better though.

----

Makeup had done the trick, Russell didn't say a word, which definitely meant he hadn't noticed. He was still depressed anyway, he might not have noticed even without the magic of Fenti foundation. We barely talked all morning.

Jude came in and looked at me. He raised his eyebrows and opened his mouth and I quickly shook my head.

"Russell." I said desperately under my breath. Jude looked between us and picked up what I was putting down and sighed and handed me his card.

"Heard back from the boss yet?" He asked instead. I shook my head. "Ah, don't worry, any day now." He said. "What's your notice period here?"

"Two weeks." I looked at him. "But I can keep coming in after work if that helps with anything?"

"Tonight would be excellent, but we're nearly caught up... If that's ok?"

"Yeah." I grinned. "Highlight of my day." Jude rolled his eyes. "I'll see you then." I waved to him as he walked away. As I watched him his phone rang. He glanced at it, and his shoulders slumped forward. I watched him hang up without answering. I bit my lip. Here I was with my own stupid problems, which were my own stupid fault... I'd almost forgotten about Jude.

Shit.

I had to say something, right?

----

Jude

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Nate was quiet when he arrived in the office, which was unheard off. He put his music in and started working, slower than usual. Aw, poor kid. He must be going through it. The way he desperately looked at me when I'd been about to tease him about the makeup he had on had convinced me, if I wasn't already convinced, that his whole bullshit -got wasted, walked into a tree- thing was a crock of shit. His phone pinged and he glanced at it and all the colour drained from his face.

"Oh no." He pulled his headphones off. "Jude." My chest tightened.

"You ok?"

"They want to interview me." I felt a smile play on my lips and I tried to hide it. Trust Nate to freak the fuck out about good news and cheerfully lie to me about anything bad. He looked down at himself. "Oh my god. I can't work in an office. Look at me!" I rolled my eyes.

"Adrian will be interviewing you." He looked at me blankly. "You know Adrian? Maori guy, white hair, moko?"

"Oh! Long black and two cheese scones." He blushed. "Oh no- that's your boss? Does he know it's me?" I sighed.

"Nate. He wanted you. The interview is a formality. He knows what you look like."

"But..." Nate held out his hands and showed me the tattoos I'd seen a thousand times before. I shrugged. I actually really liked his tattoos- where you mostly seem to see guys with unreadable pithy messages across their knuckles, Nate had phases of the moon, and little hearts and stars. Kind of... gay and witchy. I tried to hide my laughter from Nate and made a silent promise to NEVER say that out loud.

"Not the job killer they once were." I said. "Although- maybe refrain from getting your face done for a few months." Nate smiled at me.

"As if. Wreck this?" He joked. He swallowed as he glanced back at his phone. "10am. Tomorrow. I'll miss your coffee."

"I'll come in early." I said with a smile. "You'll be fine. Just be a lot better at not swearing than you are with me. Just say what we've been working on, how much you enjoy it. Say you've been thinking about the move for a long time and getting back into it with me has done wonders for your confidence and you really think you'd be an asset to the team. Say you have a lot to learn, but you're excited for the challenge."