What can I tell you about myself? I was born in a small town about 100 miles North of Los Angeles. I was very nerdy as a child and picked on by other kids. My Father would beat me, my mother would scold me. I wasn't happy.
"Don't turn out like some fag!" my father would shout at me before giving me a vicious backhand slap to the face. It hurt me in many ways. The only one who was somewhat sympathetic was my older sister Irene. Though she had her moments too.
In high school I developed a lisp which added to the field day of other kids taunting me. I was no good at Physical Education either, after all I threw a ball like a girl. Many times I broke out in tears in school.
Even the teachers were malicious to me. I had no friends at all. I was an awkward teen who wore loose t-shirts and baggy jeans, and went barefoot whenever he could. Yes, barefoot.
In the small redneck town I grew up in that was one thing that wasn't frowned upon so much.
I hated wearing shoes so I rarely did. At eighteen I managed to graduate high school. Around this time my mother and Father were fighting a lot so my dad finally moved out. My mother bugged me to find a job, so I looked but couldn't find anything. Eventually I just stayed in bed until late in the afternoon every day. This lasted for two years.
My sister Irene had moved to central Los Angeles to attend college. She had a vacant room in her apartment so I moved in there, on the condition I attend a local community college, which I did.
My attendance was good the first year, but that didn't stop me from having failing grades. A sympathetic guidance counselor at least made it okay for me to retake the same courses for another year.
"You must do better this time Joey!. And wear some shoes! L.A isn't a small town!" My sister scolded me.
The second year of college didn't go any better. Midway through the year failing all my classes, I just decided to start skipping all classes, and spent all day playing video games.
I wasn't very popular in college either. I was a loner and often depressed. What I did find interesting though was one day in which I saw two male students kissing each other, and holding hands. I'd never seen gay people before. I somehow got very aroused.
My sister was very angry when she found out I'd failed yet another year of college.
"Your gonna have to get a job or move out!" She threatened.
She fumbled around in her purse and pulled out a cigarette and nervously lit it with her lighter.
I was greatly surprised!
"What's this Irene? When did you start smoking?" I asked.
"Oh, A few months ago. I'm under such stress, and besides my new boyfriend smokes." she told me, exhaling smoke through puckered lips. Her golden, shoulder length locks looking somehow disheveled.
"They stink." I said disdainfully.
