Prom Night

For Evan, wherever you are...

It was twenty minutes after James's confession of age that I lay in his arms, my head on his chest. It was a new experience, and all of the new feelings were washing over me. I could not believe that not too long before I had had sexual intercourse with a man. I had always considered myself straight, never had once looked at another man or considered what it would feel like, but now I was in uncharted territory. What did this mean? Was I gay? No, I couldn't be.

But you enjoyed it!

And so I did, but why? What untapped desires existed below the horizon of my conscious that produced enjoyment in feeling the entanglement of his black chest hair forest against my face? I couldn't be certain. Sure, I had showered with other guys after basketball practice. I never watched them. While I was not the type to play slap-ass with a towel, I had laughed when others did. Did that mean I was comfortable being around them in that state of undress?

Stop trying to rationalize it; this is much different from the locker room.

No, this was much different. My teammates- at least, when I was with them in the shower- did not drink each other's cum. This was not the safety zone of the school locker room showers, which was built to handle the depersonalization of hygiene. This was a bed, something I could imagine only being personal. And the acts we had just shared were something entirely different.

I felt his lips brush my forehead as these thoughts swirled inside my mind. "What are you thinking about?" His whisper was like music that soothed my nerves. I shifted my arm around him to pull him closer to me, feeling his warmth.

"I've never done this before," I confessed for the second time that night. Normally, a question such as that would be met with a noncommittal answer from me, but something in the protective embrace with the firm body called on the truth from me. The words seemed to easily leave my lips. Except, they sounded so unfamiliar and far away when I spoke.

I felt him tense under them. "Neither have I... Do you, um... Want to talk about it?"

I nodded.

"I'm not really sure what to say... But I'm not going to lie to you, Dom." He paused for a moment. "I enjoyed that...whatever we can call it. Hell, I'm not sure what to call it myself..." The tone was strained, changing the entire atmosphere of the moment we had just shared. "But what do you think?"

"I enjoyed it, James... It felt really...good. Really good," I felt his deep blue eyes on me, and to seal it, I found myself giving his warm nipple a kiss underneath the mat of hair. "I want more...but I don't know what it means."

"I... Yes," he replied. "I'll admit, Dom, that I don't know what it means either. I guess what it comes down to is that we tried something new... It's a first, and I can't even begin to describe how I feel about it... I don't know, Dom. I've never even given another guy a once over..."

"Nor have I," while it was a short phrase, it seemed to cut the air like a knife.

He continued, "I'm not going to beat around the bush, though... What we did- while I can't say it was wrong in the sense of two men being together- it was... It was..." Our eyes locked, and I couldn't help but melt under his kiss. But as soon as briefly as the warmth spread between us, the chill of our roles set back in. "This was wrong of me... I was unprofessional, Dom. I shouldn't have. For that, I accept full responsibility for this, no matter what you decide that may be..."

I froze. "What

I

decide it may be?"

"If I decide, it's only me taking advantage of you...even more than I already have."

"

You

taking advantage of me?" I had to admit that the words stung, the armor which had been off for such a short time now being donned again. "Let me ask you... In all of your years of teaching, how many times has a student offered you coffee after midnight?"

The nervous look on his face offered no reply.

"None," I answered. "I'm as much at fault, James... I should have... You didn't have to..." I broke off, not knowing what to say.

James took my head in his hands and kissed me again, nuzzling the black scruff against me. Then his lips traveled north, until they found my eyes. I closed them, feeling his closeness as his lips kissed each lid. "You're right. I guess we took advantage of each other."

I nodded.

"Look at me, Dom...please."

I opened my green eyes to meet his gaze.

"You're eighteen, and in a matter of weeks, I won't be your instructor anymore... So, I guess we're just two guys then...that shared something we enjoyed...really enjoyed, if I'm honest. By law, we shouldn't have, for the purpose of being professional. But..." James paused, his voice uneven. "But, regardless of professionalism, now that I have, all I can say is that we're two men who shared in something that we enjoyed." James seemed to trail off.

"So you would never...?"

"I'm not sure... Things are a bit complicated in that aspect..." His expression was far away.

I nodded, knowing what he meant.

"I don't mean to upset you, but even with that in mind...what would your family say?" His eyes searched my face for an answer, analyzing me again.

"They really don't know about

that

side of my life." I tried to keep the irritation from slipping into my voice, but I could not prevent the undertone was sounding.

The voice was careful. "Still, parents know..."

"I don't advertise, if that's what you mean."

The quietness was a wall of thick ice. Finally, his bearish hand gently went under my chin and lifted it to meet his eyes again. "You're right... I'm sorry. This is just all so new to me; I guess I don't know you as well as I thought I did."

I was getting lost in his gaze again, and without another word, I leaned up, kissing James on the mouth. "I'm sorry too; maybe I should get to know you a bit better, as well."

I could feel him melting, just as I was melting, under the power of the kiss. "I'm an open book to anything you could ever wish to know." James kissed me back, his arms holding me closer to him. Our mouths dueled, and my hand went to his hair, running my fingers through it.

We broke away; our smiles seemed to make the room brighter as we did. "Then are you an only child?" I teased, not knowing what other topic to jump to from the moment.

James laughed at my poor lead into a new conversation. "Oh, sometimes I wish," he joked, "I am the youngest of four children. I have two sisters and one brother."

"Ah, I see," I laughed, "Close French American family?"

He grinned down at me, briefly squeezing me closer to him. "You're right that Monaco is French, but actually the majority of my background is Italian."

This notion surprised me, and I couldn't help but imagine his siblings. James had never spoken of any family in class before, and I wondered what they were like. If they were anything like him, I was intrigued. I teased him some more, "So you keep your friends close but your enemies closer, eh?"

He brought his lips to mine, gently stroking the goose bumped skin of my chest, "All the time." A playful smirk spread across his lips.

I kissed the playful evil from his lips. "I see. But when we part in the morning, I'm not going to get whacked, am I?"

"Not this time," James laughing and stuck the tip of his tongue between his lips to show he was joking, "I would walk home instead of starting the car, though, if I were you."

I couldn't help but laugh, and I poked him in the side. James responded by rolling over under he was cradling me under him. His eyes looked down at me, and at once, I was reminded from the warmth of his flesh against mine all over that we were both naked together in the bed. I couldn't help but feel as though we were starting something, even if it was just further experimentation for both of us. It was an equal field without the constraints of societal roles or secrets. My bear had me, and I had my bear.

He leant down and kissed me full on the lips, with more passion than before. My arms circled round the back of his neck, pulling him into me. My thumbs stroked the bottom of his hair- where it met the back of the neck- as they did.

"What are they like?" I asked finally, still cradled underneath him.

"The best," James smiled. "My brother is the oldest; his name is Al. He's a store manager for a Weis Market. Then there's Sabina and Cheryl. Sabina decided to marry a guy from the West Coast and move out there with him; we get emails from time to time. Apparently, she's a blackjack dealer, or she was when I last heard from her."

I nodded, surprised with each new fact of his personal life. "And Cheryl?"

"We tease her that she's the overachiever of the family, but she works as a forensic pathologist at The Medical Examiner's Office down in Georgia." James kissed my forehead. The touch sent tingles along my backside. My fingers traced the lines of his skin on the back of the neck.

I had to laugh at the mashup. "That's quite a unique profession; I've actually found that kind of science a bit fascinating."

His laugh was soothing music to my ears. "You're the only person I've told about her that has had that kind of response." His grin was angelic; I could have stayed under him no matter what. "What is it that you find fascinating about dead people?"

"There are so many pieces of information that can be obtained from them; it's like they're telling you their story when they can't actually vocalize anything anymore. You mean to tell me that you don't find it interesting?"

He paused, considering this. "I guess I never thought of it that way. But I couldn't do what they do- not to anyone." After a moment, James teased, "This is getting a bit dark. What about your family?"

I playfully rolled my eyes and laughed at his attempt to get the subject back on course. For a man who went to college to master the art of manipulating conversations back on track, his personal methods still appeared nervous. "Well, I have an older brother," I finally answered. "He'll be graduating college next year."

"Ah, and what's his major?"

"Criminal justice. It drives my parents up the wall because they were hoping he'd pursue something in business." We both laughed. "So, my Dad still sends him some brochures for business schools sometimes; I guess he thinks it'll plant a seed in his mind."

"Yeah, I had a similar experience with my mother when I told her what I was going to college for." James rolled us back on our sides, his arm still around me. Carefully, his other reached for the covers and pulled them higher up on us as the air conditioner clicked on in the background, chilling the room. He removed the tie and tossed it off to the side before continuing, "We just sat down at the kitchen table and talked over a couple cups of tea one weekend. She wanted me to do something great with photography; she couldn't really understand how I would be happy with teaching."

"But you love photography?"

"I do. I guess part of me wanted to be a part of something special, too, in a way that's different from how photography is special. I wanted to give back, somehow. And besides, I always liked History; there are so many answers to the future that can be extracted from the past." What little fragments there were of the walls between us were grating into dust and blowing away in the wind. I felt as though I were touching a deeper part of him than what even a friend would.

"Did you tell her that?" I found myself seeing new emotions in the lines of his face.

James nodded. "I told her that I felt it was something that I could do to help others. She still didn't understand it, but I think she's accepted it. I guess I'd say that I'm not sure I understand exactly why it's so difficult for her to understand it...but I love her just the same."

Silence passed over us as he stared off at the ceiling. We were in an uncharted sea, and the last thing I wanted was for him to steer us out of it. So I continued, "Maybe she just doesn't want you to have any regrets... Maybe she just wants you to be happy...not sell yourself out for some plastic image of what others want. I think a lot of people sell themselves out..."

"How?"

"Well, they shape themselves into what they need to be to fit a role. They tell you how to dress, how to act, and they ask you to be happy with it. Didn't you feel like that going into teaching?" I knew I shouldn't have said the words as soon as they left my lips, but I couldn't help it. I had been through enough classrooms to see unhappy teachers.

"Not really, I enjoy it. I wear the tie every week day, but it's not all I am." James didn't look at me.

"Ah, maybe I just don't get it. But I'm sure she wants you to be you."

His gaze found me again. "I'm sure she does."

It was my turn to console him; I leaned up and kissed my bear on the lips, feeling the warmth of his presence wash over me. My hand felt the mat of fur on his chest as I did, experiencing the rise and fall of his chest for the first time- his heartbeat- under it as it did. It was a strong beat, regular and steady, as if it would protect me from the unknown crevices in the night.

I had never experienced such a feeling of safety before; I had always felt that I didn't need anyone. That I could take care of myself. But now it traced every vein of my body until it enveloped me entirely. I knew I needed him right then.

"Thank you," James breathed as our lips parted. I didn't ask what for; something within me seemed to know already, as if it were a secret he carried within himself for a while. Then he continued, softly, "Anyway, my grandmother had a field day with her once our little talk kind of exploded into an argument. Gram lived across the street at the time, and I wound up over there."

I smiled.

This part of the memory seemed to give him a snicker of laughter, "It's funny; picture this little Italian woman- she couldn't be taller than five, five- waving her hands saying, 'Ya' dumb baciagaloop; are you gonna' be the one takin' classes? Unless you are, I don't want you to say another word to Jimmy about it.'"

I burst out laughing. "She didn't say that!"

"Ha!" James shook his head, "You haven't met my grandmother. She says what she wants." His arms pulled me tighter to him. "Believe me, I got in trouble quite enough as a kid to hear all the Italian insults she could throw at me when I got disciplined."

My eyebrows arched in surprise, "Oh, so you were a trouble-maker, were you?" I enjoyed teasing him; his expressions were priceless when he'd realize I was joking. I was growing fond of the way he would try to look innocent.

"Me? Nah..." His smile was addictive.

"Liar."

"Okay, you got me, officer." James held up his hands with laughter, "Still am, to this day."

I kissed him with more passion than the last I had given him, tracing the line of his lower lip with my tongue. "You'll just have to prove that to me," I whispered in his ear once we parted.

A devilish grin swept his face, his deep blue eyes seeming to smile as well as he tackled me again. My legs were on either side of his, and his cock- which had been soft but was now beginning to stiffen from my suggestion- stroked the inside of my thigh as his hips moved into me. We kissed again, this time allowing it to deepen until I was pulling him into me, our bodies mashing up with the heat of our recent tryst. I felt my legs weaken, needing him. My dick, however, began sprouting back to life.

Our bodies separated a little. His hands roamed my chest until they found my nipples, gently tweaking them. I couldn't stand the electrical sensations which poured from them, sweeping over my body until their charges reached every inch of me. I whimpered, my fingers beginning to trace the outlines of his back muscular tissue. Then his mouth came down, kissing over to my earlobe, where his tongue began to flick the flab of skin.

"Jamesss," I panted, getting lost in the feeling of him. I felt his dick twitch with hardening as it did, until I couldn't help but buck my hips into him. The bed covers rose and fell with us as we began rocking into each other, our erections probing. I could feel his prodding at my balls, gently nuzzling them until I couldn't form words anymore. I quivered, trying to keep control of myself.

The warm breath of James Monaco could be felt all over the left side of my neck as he tongued my earlobe, sending tingles all over my shoulders. When he inhaled, it sucked the heat away, until what was left was a cool tingle of sensitivity at his touch, which would melt under the heat of his exhalation again. It soothed me; I found his broad shoulder with my mouth and sucked hard on it, using my tongue to explore the firmness of it. I could taste the salt on his skin from the exertion of our previous acts of pleasure, and although any sort of taste would have normally disgusted me from anyone, I felt as though it added to his masculinity.

Masculinity?

Why did that thought turn me on? Was I that easy to flip from the alpha straight male role? The reality set in again as I found the tip of his dick my balls until our shafts slid together, rubbing. This was a man I had never considered sexually attractive in the slightest, but tonight I was in bed with him, sucking him, and mentally comparing him with a wild animal from the mountains. My bear. The pet name stuck with me once more. It was not that I considered bestiality something I would wish to try; it was just that something in the dark entanglement of his chest hairs seemed to make me feel like someone seeking comfort from a teddy bear. Except, this was no teddy bear, and here I was, with a man who would do things with me again that would make me question my sexuality.

But most of all, I wanted him to.

I continued to kiss his shoulder, feeling our cocks rub against each other. They crossed, shifted, broke away, and then crossed again, each time hardening more than before. It was like a shaft of concrete against me, trying to find the appropriate place to call home.

His lips traveled down, tongue tracing my collarbone until it found the light sprinkling of hair on my chest. James tenderly kissed each pectoral muscle, then took each set of fingers off of the nipples. Carefully, his tongue traced around the left nipple, his blue eyes finding mine. The touch was sensual yet borderline teasing. Then, the tongue traveled to the right, without him breaking eye contact, and circled the right. I felt myself tensing under the touch, wanting nothing more than for James to touch my dick in that moment. My cock strained, leaking pre-cum.

He took his time with this, listening to my deepening breath as my hands held the sides of his neck. My fingers caressed his earlobes as my index fingers traced the fine black hairs bordering his ears. Then, when he was ready, his eyes broke contact so his mouth could take the entirety of the right nipple into it. He sucked it harder than I had done to him, nibbling the tip- not enough to hurt but to send tingles all over my body. Without realizing it, I began bucking my hips into him, harder and faster with each new sensation that he produced once he introduced his tongue to my nipple. Then, before I knew it, James pulled off.

I hadn't even realized that I closed my eyes for a moment, but once the feeling stopped, I regained my sense of reality. Our eyes met, and under a head of tousled short black hair and twinkling blue eyes, I found his grin. It was a look that no one else had ever given me before, as if James somehow knew all of my darkest secrets at that particular moment.

At once, the moment was broken as he attacked the left nipple with the same amount of passion. My eyes closed again to savor the feeling of his teeth gently plucking the tip of it further into his mouth like they were trying to milk it. The tongue flickered over it to rub out the roughened tingle that the teeth brought. The result was a mixture of rough and smooth pleasure that made me whimper. My body writhed under his touch, wanting nothing but for James to continue providing such pleasure.