Usual disclaimers, we're all fictional and all over eighteen. In particular I did a Google search for Acme East Talent agency and they don't appear to exist. If one does then I can assure you that the one featured in this story is, like all the characters, purely fictional and any resemblance is purely coincidental.
Secondly, this is a story about pony boys. Unless reading about pony boys rocks your boat then, well, you're not going to find too much here for you. Hey, don't let me stop you reading it, like Ben, you never know until you try, but you have been warned!
Enjoy.
*
"You have got to be joking!" I said in amazement as Andy told me about Jason's latest exploits.
"No, straight up. That's what he said and, you know Jason," Andy replied, "he'll exaggerate for the sake of a good story but he never actually makes things up."
I did indeed know Jason. He was the most flamboyant member of our little circle and, like the rest of us, in his second year at college. A drama student, he treated his life as one big drama and he felt sure that it was only a matter of time before he was 'spotted' and whisked away to a life of fame in the West End, of possibly Broadway. The rest of us were somewhat less convinced of his Thespian abilities but he was fun to have around and his skill as a mimic often had us in stitches.
Anyway, it appeared that Jason, in his eternal search for a way onto the stage, had applied to what he thought was a theatrical agency. However, when he had gone for an interview, it had turned out that what they were recruiting for was only theatrical in the very broadest sense of the term.
"So, let's get this straight," I said, seeking confirmation of what I had heard. "He goes to this place and it turns out it's a front for pony boy racing? What the fuck is pony boy racing?"
"I'm just telling you what Jason told me. I gather they wanted him to dress up like a pony and then they enter into races."
"And I assume we're not talking pantomime horse, here," I laughed.
"Well if we are then it's an 'X' rated pantomime. Jason said that the 'costume' was little more than a few bits of leather strapping and absolutely nothing was left to the imagination."
"Sounds a bit kinky to me," I commented.
"Well, duh! Of course it's kinky. That's what it's all about. It's nothing more than a way to give dirty old men an excuse to watch young men parading around naked. Whatever floats your boat, I suppose. However, there must be plenty of people who are prepared to pay for it. Jason was saying that he was offered a ton for a night's work."
"A ton! A hundred quid! For one night! Mind you, you'd have to pay me a lot more than that before I'd parade around buck naked in front of a load of pervs."
"Yeah, even Jason felt it wouldn't exactly enhance his CV."
And that, we thought, was the end of it. We had a good laugh and assured ourselves that we would never, ever, do anything like that, whatever the money.
Or so I thought.
You know the way it happens. It never rains but it pours. First it was the car which failed its MOT test. The garage said it needed a new exhaust and tyres before I could put it back on the road and the bill was horrendous. Then my laptop decided not to boot and needed its hard drive replacing. That didn't come cheap either. And then, with my finances reeling, Andy came to me with this plan to go to the Far East for the summer vac. He'd found this fantastic deal which would save us a fortune but he needed a deposit of two hundred quid and he needed it pretty pronto. Two hundred or two million, it didn't make any difference, I simply didn't have it. On the other hand, the thought of missing out on all that fun was unbearable. Maybe if I lived on beans on toast and stayed away from the Union Bar I might be able to find the money and survive until the end of term. Living off beans on toast was just about manageable but my social life revolved around the bar and if I couldn't afford the occasional pint.... No, it simply wasn't an option.
I tried phoning my folks but the old man had made it clear that paying my tuition had already pushed him to the limit and there was no way he would cough up for something as frivolous as a holiday. There was the usual guff about learning the value of money and all the other things dads say but what there wasn't was the cash. Was I really going to be the only one who couldn't afford it?
But, that raised the question of exactly where I was going to find the money. All the suitable jobs in the local area were taken by other students in a similar position and I didn't really have anything I could sell. And then I remembered my conversation with Andy and my own words came back to haunt me. I remembered the conviction with which I'd said 'You'd have to pay me a lot more than that before I'd parade around buck naked in front of a load of pervs'. Well, that was then and this was now. Suddenly a hundred quid seemed a lot more enticing. I mean, I wasn't going to rush into anything but it had to be worth checking out After all, a hundred quid is a hundred quid and, with two nights work, I could have my holiday.
The first difficulty was finding out the name and address of the agency but I had a good idea how I could do that. Jason was always fond of the sound of his own voice and it wouldn't take much prompting to get him to retell the story about the time when he found himself applying to be a pony boy by mistake. That very night I made sure I bumped into him in the bar and, as ever, he was full of himself. I guided the conversation around to the agency.
"So, didn't the fact that it was called 'Pony Boys International' give you a clue?" I joked.
"It wasn't called anything like that, dummo," Jason retorted. "How was I to know that Acme East Talent Agency was anything other than legit?"
And there I had it. Acme East Talent Agency. I stored it away in my memory and got on with the rest of the evening.
The very next day I was on the internet and it wasn't hard to track them down. They didn't have their own web page but they were listed in a directory which gave me an address and a phone number. I stared at the screen of my laptop. Suddenly this had all got very scary. Was I really going to do this? I took a moment to do some on line banking and the state of my accounts was all the persuasion I needed. After all, I was just enquiring, I wouldn't actually do anything unless... unless... unless.... Well that depended on the outcome of my enquiries.
I rang the number and, after a couple of rings, the phone was answered.
"Acme East," a female voice said curtly.
"Ah, good morning, my name is Ben. A friend told me that you might have work for... for... pony boys." There, I'd said it.
"Did he, indeed." The voice at the other end of the phone was full of suspicion. "Did he also tell you that we only deal with personal applications? Because if he didn't he should have done. Office hours are ten 'til four, Monday to Friday."
