Intro
As if life wasn't hard enough being gay in a world where the majority will use anything to push you down and get ahead, it only got harder after September 12, 2012. My life before that day may have seemed like a perfectly normal life to people who didn't know me and didn't understand what I was going through. But they had no idea. I was doomed the day I was born into my family. Don't get me wrong, I loved both my parents to death. But, when your gay and you were born into a family where your mother belongs to a very wealthy and conservative white family and your father belongs to a very traditional Spanish family, life isn't that fair for you. Two families with very different traditions and beliefs; but, one thing the two families shared in common were their beliefs on homosexuals. Or another way to put it, their lack of tolerance for my "kind." Coming out to my family, the people who were supposed to be there for you no matter what when you need them the most, was out of the question. Not because of fear of their disapproval; I honestly don't think they would have kicked me out or disowned me. But because of the fact that I loved them too much to let their opinions of me change, even if it's the slightest bit. On top of that, the schools I attended while growing up weren't the best places for a gay person to be open about it. No matter how much progress there has been and all this talk about everyone having equal rights, people will still judge something they don't understand or agree with. I watched too many kids get picked on and get turned on because they were different and I was not going to be one of those kids. So at a young age I decided this would be my secret and that only a selected few who I could trust would ever find out about me.
Bottling up my emotions and keeping them to myself I have come to realize has only hurt me in the long run. I have so many feelings that I don't know how to get rid of. Choosing to keep my secret only made my life harder. If people didn't knew I was gay then how were other gay people supposed to know I was open for love? This made it really hard for me to explore my sexuality and become comfortable with myself. I've only had small experiences with two guys, nothing more than kissing and touching each other. The only reason I got these opportunities was because my best friend, Kaelynn, found these boys and set us up. Not having people there that thought I was attractive and trying to hook up with me only furthered my insecurities. But I only have myself and my cowardliness to blame for this.
None of that matters now. For all I know me and my friends are the last people on this earth. The last time we heard a transmission over the radio it said that no place was safe and that it had reached all parts of the world. And the last time I saw another survivor was over three weeks ago. Even if there were groups of people left what are the chances that we will run into them? And who says one of them will be a gay guy? All odds are against me and I've learned to just accept it. There's no point in wasting my emotions and time on something that is completely hopeless. The survival of my friends and myself is more important than a wild goose chase. My friends need me now more than ever and I won't let them down.
Chapter 1
I walked along a street scattered with abandoned cars and other objects. It was weird seeing the once busy college town of San Luis Obispo so dead and deserted. This city went from being one of the happiest places on earth to one of the deadest. Glass covered the sidewalks and streets from battered cars and windows. Some buildings were black and charred from when the city went into complete chaos. Every once in a while you would come across a mangled body or just a piece of a body. At first these images scarred me and I couldn't bear to walk the streets. But two months into this disaster and seeing it daily has allowed me to numb away any thoughts or feelings for who these people were and what happened to them. I've learned to only invest my feelings in people who are still alive and trying to survive along with me. As we got closer into the downtown area my nerves started to get uneasy. From past experience it seemed like the closer you got to downtown the more dangerous it got. The streets were getting denser with cars and visibility was dropping quickly.
"Be careful you guys this area looks really sketchy." Kaelynn said from a few feet behind me.
I looked back at her as she started putting her long wavy black hair up into a bun and then she folded up her sleeves as if she was expecting a fight. Then she reached into her jean pocket and pulled out a small handgun. Kaelynn had been my best friend since High School and we were always there for each other. Without her I wouldn't have made it this far. I would have died with the rest a long time ago. Her uneasiness was transferring to me causing me to reach back and pull out a long blade from my backpack. Gripping it tight in my right hand I kept walking. As I furthered down the street I was nearing a semi-truck that was flipped onto its side. The front end of the truck was smashed into the side of a store and the back end was lodged into a store on the other side of the street, completely blocking the street. There was no way we could go under or around the truck. The only way through was up and over. But, going up meant climbing up ten feet on a surface that had no grip. Kaelynn slowly walked up to the front of the car, trying to find a way through.
"Looks like we're going up." Bradford said as he took a running start and then leaped for the top of the truck, throwing his hands as far as he could.
"Not even close buddy." I said as he missed the top by a good distance and fell awkwardly to the floor.
"I don't like this it could be a death trap. Maybe we should just go back and find a different street." She said as she looked around nervously.
"Don't be so scared, it's not that big of a deal, "Bradford said trying to sound confident, but continued when he saw she wasn't convinced, "How about we send someone up to check things out and then we make a decision."
"Fine. But, I'm not going up. I'll keep watch." She said as she walked over to an empty car, climbed on top and clutched her gun as she watched the streets behind us.
"I'll go up. Can u give me a hand?" Bradford said looking back at me as he walked closer to the truck.
"Sure." I said.
I waited as Bradford started to take off his backpack and weapons. When he took off his jacket I couldn't help but stare at his muscular arms. I quickly looked away, not wanting him to catch me raping him with my eyes. Bradford was probably the same height as me, around 6'1, but he had more muscle than me. I'm slimmer than all the other guys but I wasn't weak, my body was well toned. Bradford was perfectly balanced, being right in between slim and muscular. He almost looked like a swimmer; slimmer torso and nice muscles in his arms and chest area. Not only was his body perfect, but he also had big blue eyes that were hard not to stare into. With the nod of his head towards the truck he walked towards it and waited for me. As I walked up to him he combed his fingers through his dark brown hair.
"Try not to drop me alright?" Brad said jokingly.
"I'll try my hardest but I can't promise you that." I said back as I intertwined my fingers and gave him a footstep on my palms.
Putting his shoe on my palms he tested it by putting slight pressure on my palms.
"Are you sure you can handle this I don't wanna hurt you?" Bradford said sarcastically with a big grin on his face.
"Shut up and hurry before I let go." I said giving him a fake smile.
