Pete and John and the Pendant
Parting ways with someone who has been an important part of one's life is never easy. For me, no matter how badly things have soured and regardless of reasons, there always seems to be a crushing sense of loss that, at times, is all consuming. But, occasionally, as has been said, when one door closes another opens.
It was the Monday after the Friday it had ended and I was emerging from a weekend wherein I had been drenched in depression, loneliness and self-doubt. At 24, this was not my first breakup but I had not yet learned how to simply roll with the punches and move on. After a mundane, marginally productive day at work I had arrived home feeling low and lonely. I looked myself in the mirror and told myself that the very last thing that I needed was another evening of feeling sorry for myself.
I showered, shaved and dressed in a fresh pair of jeans (commando), t-shirt and boat shoes, tucked the triskelion pendant inside the t-shirt and headed out. I wasn't looking for company and since it was Monday didn't expect any but i had gotten into the habit of going commando whenever I wore jeans. My usual watering hole offered too many memories so I thought I'd try a place I'd heard about that was in walking distance where I could have a beer or two without looking at the same 4 walls.
When I walked in the place seemed nice enough in a casual unpretentious sort of way. As I expected the place seemed quiet with a couple at a table off in the corner and only two other guys sitting at the far end of the bar and a third on a stool at the halfway point. There was well over a dozen unoccupied places and I grabbed one at the end of the bar as far away from everyone else as I could get, ordered a draft and started mindlessly watching a baseball game that held little interest for me.
It was at that point that I noticed that the pendant had slipped out from under my t-shit and was in plain sight. 'Shit' I thought, 'the last thing I want is to draw any attention to myself.' And I tucked it back inside my t-shirt and resumed watching the ball game.
The bar atmosphere wasn't doing much for me, so when I finished my beer I thought I'd just settle up and walk home. And then another draft appeared in front of me. When I looked at the bartender he nodded at the guy sitting at the halfway point. I looked his way, raised the fresh beer, nodded a thank you and took a sip. At first glance, he seemed rather ordinary looking but there was something about him. I went back to watching the ball game and then I heard a voice -- a soft but strong, masculine, confident voice -- 'Mind if I join you?'
Before I could respond he slipped into the seat to my left and said in a barely audible whisper 'Nice pendant.' I blushed and said softly 'I wasn't trying to flash that; I just needed to get out for a bit. It's been a rough weekend.'
'Yeah, I get that' he said. 'I wasn't sure but, yeah, you seemed a little down. I think we've all been to a place emotionally where the last thing we needed was those four walls.' He had a very easygoing manner but there was a confidence, a masculinity, a strong vibe. And I started to reply but when I turned to look at him he had turned on the stool so that he was facing me and all I could do was nod. Those eyes, that look, the vibe -- I didn't need that right then, I didn't want that right then. And then he said 'I'm Pete, by the way.' And he offered his hand. We shook hands. His grip was strong, not overpowering yet strong and his eyes -- his eyes.
And we talked and he was very easy to talk to -- a good listener who knew when to speak and when not to. And then, without meaning to, I started to unload, and I did not want to do this at all. I fought -- hard -- to stifle the emotion but it just began to overwhelm me and he listened and nodded and placed his hand softly on my shoulder. And, as a tear rolled down my cheek, I started to apologize and I looked up and those eyes, those strong, confident, powerful eyes looked at me. And then he said 'It's alright, I understand.' And the sound of his voice and his hand on my shoulder and those eyes, those amazing eyes. And I don't know why but I started rambling and told him things about myself, intimate things, private things. And I couldn't help myself. And he was so understanding.
And we talked some more and I told myself I had not intended to do this and didn't want to do this and I fought hard not to do this and then I admitted to myself that I wanted it but no you cannot do this. And I turned to face Him and I began to tremble. And He said 'I've got my truck outside. Let's go out there; this is not the place for you right now.' And I was grateful for his thoughtfulness and understanding.
Pete settled the bill and, as we walked out the door I saw that He was a couple of inches taller than me and solidly built. Oh God, and that voice and those eyes. As we reached the parking lot it began to rain and He placed His hand reassuringly in the small of my back. And His touch was at once comforting and electrifying.