Part 17. I Guess You CAN Always Get What You Want (Or, Enduring A Character Assassination To Make Him Want You): Jason's Perspective
I was angry. I was hurt. But, most of all, I started to wonder if John had a point. From his perspective, I'd just boned some guy a short time ago and now I was ready to get in his pants, too. I'd been so blinded by lust that I looked past how hurt and confused John was. I wasn't all of the things he'd just said about me. But, I didn't handle him with the care that I should have. It was probably for the best that he'd left. We both obviously needed some time alone. And now, just when I thought John and I had reached a better place in our relationship, it was probably damaged beyond repair. In fact, I was pretty certain that, once we got back home, I'd need to start searching for a new job.
I'd think about that later, though. Right now, what I needed was a shower. I still had Pete, the hotel concierge, all over me. And, after what just happened with John, I felt even more gross.
Half an hour later, I was sitting in a chair in an alcove off to the side of the lobby, looking at the snow fall more lightly than it was before. I'd overheard a tourist family say that the weather reports were saying the storm was winding down. On my way to the lobby, I'd passed by John's hotel room and stopped. I came close to knocking, but thought better of it. I was still angry and I was pretty certain he was too. No. What we both needed was time alone.
I always used to scoff at people who said it was relaxing to just sit and stare out a window at nature. How could something that didn't involve watching a television, staring at a computer screen, or scrolling through a phone provide any sort of enjoyment or comfort. But now, sitting in the chair, watching the snow fall lightly, I completely understood. I felt a peacefulness come over me. I must've sat there for close to forty-five minutes when I felt a hand on my shoulder.
I turned to look up and saw the face of Pete, the hotel concierge, looking down at me. "Hey..."
"Hi." It wasn't exactly a friendly response. But, my upbringing steeped in politeness and manners would let "get lost" escape my lips. Pete wasn't exactly someone I wanted to see right now.
"Want some company?"
I knew saying no would be rude. Though, after what happened between us earlier, no wouldn't be completely out of line. "Since the hotel's full and we're all stranded here, don't you have to work?" I hoped that would get my message across.
"I'm on a break. We can't all work 24 hours straight, after all." He smiled at me and I couldn't return the favor. Silently, I gestured to the open chair across from me. I know I'm a glutton for punishment. But at least SOMEONE wanted to spend time with me. In the state of mind I was in, it made me feel better. He leaned toward me and spoke softly. "So, that was awkward earlier, when your boss ran into me leaving your room."
"How'd you know he's my boss?"
"You told me you're here with your boss. I figured that was him. So? What happened? Did he freak out? I mean, he didn't know you're gay, right?"
My instinct was to pour my heart out to Pete. I needed to talk to someone...anyone. But, as gross as I'd felt earlier when we were having sex, I wasn't sure I could bring myself to unburden myself of my problems to him. Then again, I wasn't exactly world renowned for always making the right decisions, so I started talking. "He didn't freak out. But he was kind of surprised. I think he sort of suspected I'm gay. But, he didn't know. At least, not until earlier today."
"Yeah," Pete grinned sheepishly. "Sorry about that bad timing." He paused for a second and looked into my eyes. "So then... If your boss didn't freak out on you, what has you down here, looking so forlorn? You look like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders, man."
And so the words poured forth out of my mouth like water pouring through a dam that's just broken. I found myself over the next forty-five minutes telling Pete everything. How I got a crush on John from day one. How I flirted with him at work. How he started to flirt back. How things became more tense between us. And then everything that had happened here in Denver right up until John stormed out of my hotel room almost two hours ago. About fifteen minutes into my story, I felt my phone buzz. When I pulled it out of my pocket, I saw that it was a text from John. "Need 2 c u. Come 2 my room?" After the way he'd acted earlier, I wasn't particularly interested in seeing him and putting myself up for more of his crap. So, I put my phone back in my pocket and continued spilling my guts to Pete.
"Wow!" Pete leaned back in the chair, wide-eyed, when I finished my story. "That's pretty amazing."
I had to chuckle at his choice of words. "Amazing isn't exactly the word I'd use to describe it. But, okay..."
For a reason I couldn't understand at the time, Pete grinned slightly. "So, you really have it bad for your boss then, huh?"
I hesitated for a minute. Sure, from my story, it must've been obvious to Pete how I felt about John. But, the idea of actually verbalizing it to a complete stranger made me anxious. But then I thought, "What the hell? I've already said too much about all of this anyway." I said aloud, "Yeah. In a way, I guess I do."
"What do you mean 'in a way'?"
"Well, it's not like I'm trying to take him away from his family, or anything like that. But, to me, he's about the most handsome man I've ever laid eyes on. There's just something about him that I find very attractive. And, when he's not being a total douche, he's just a cool, down-to-earth guy...the kind of guy you'd want to go have a beer with and spend all night talking about life. The funny thing is, I don't think he realizes how great of a guy he is. He sure doesn't act like it."
It was then that I felt a hand on my shoulder. It was John. "John! Uh, how long had you been standing there?"
Ignoring my question, he posed one of his own. "Did you get my text message?"
