Penetrating Realization

For over a decade I've had a curiosity about sucking the cock of a fellow married man and swallowing his cum. The thought of being on my knees in front of him, being submissive to an alpha male who is more well-endowed than me is a huge turn-on for some reason. It goes to support my belief that I am truly a submissive male deep down inside.

An event in early 2016 proved to me once and for all that I am indeed submissive.

In 2015 I was diagnosed with hypogonadism. Low testosterone. Reduced sex drive with my wife and a lack of energy prompted us to have me checked out for health issues. Blood tests revealed the deficiency, so a trip to the urologist was called for.

A prostate examination by the urologist was an expected procedure. I had never had one before, and dreaded it like most men. The entire office visit was somewhat stressful and not worth remembering at all.

The follow-up visit was totally different.

Obviously my testosterone injections had been effective in both my daily and sex lives. I felt better. I felt more horny. Just short of five inches in length, my cock would now get as hard as an oak tree. My mind was back to thinking about sexual fantasies. Sitting in the waiting room during my follow-up found me in one of those sexual fantasy sessions.

As I waited to see my urologist, I sat there and continuously thought, "I'm actually about to be penetrated by a man. I'm about to willingly submit to another man and let him insert his finger inside me." Normally medical examinations are not anything to be sexualized. But my horny mind and curiosities about submitting to an alpha male were producing some very erotic thoughts.

My urologist is an older gentleman. Probably in his late 50's or early 60's. Educated. Intelligent. Definitely the demographic for the type of male that I've considered being on my knees for. He's formal, professional, assertive, and when he's ready for the examination to begin he's succinct in his instructions about what position he wants you to assume.

Ah, the examination.

His words were precise and to the point. "Lower your pants and underwear, and lean over the table onto your forearms." My erotic mind returned to its previous thoughts. This was nothing to be sexually excited about, I told myself. Nevertheless I found myself extremely eager to proceed.

I obediently lowered my pants and underwear down to my knees and bent over the examination table onto my forearms as he instructed. I kept looking down onto the table as I heard him stretch the latex glove onto his hand. My heightened senses heard the cap to his lubricating gel snap back on after he had extracted some of it to use on me. My thought processes remained on the fact that I'm willingly submitting to this older man for the purpose of him penetrating my anus.

The sense of vulnerability was intoxicating.

The following events had a duration of perhaps 30 seconds. Perhaps less. But during that short period of time my sexual identity was profoundly changed by the realization that came to me.

As I stood there bending over the table, I felt one of his hands gently spread my buttocks apart. I knew it instantly because I felt the sensation of cool air on my anus. Next, a lubricated finger touched just above my anal sphincter. In a slow, methodical motion he slid his finger with slight pressure downward over the opening of my anus until he just slightly passed it. In the same uninterrupted motion, his finger reversed back until it was in direct contact with my anal opening. Then he firmly pressed against the sphincter and slipped effortlessly inside me.

With that single act of penetration my sexual desires exploded. My head reflexively raised up from previously looking down toward the table to looking straight ahead. I audibly gasped as I inhaled until my lungs were filled. I had just been forcefully penetrated by another man that I was voluntarily submitting to. The fact that it was a medical examination was irrelevant to me. He might do this to hundreds of other men each week. The fact in my mind is that this was me he was penetrating now, and it felt absolutely natural, like I was meant to perform this role.

Almost immediately he began palpating my prostate for abnormalities. He mentioned in a professional tone that it would be uncomfortable but would be over soon. The examination was uncomfortable the initial time I came to see him, yes. This time, all I could think about was the fact that he was forcefully manipulating the sexual organ responsible for my ejaculatory functions. He was feeling the originating source of my semen. He was in control.

With each press of his finger against my prostate I felt like I needed to ejaculate. My cock was as shriveled up as any man's during one of these examinations. There were no outward signs of arousal that would have otherwise embarrassed me. During his examination my anus instinctively gripped his finger while it was inside me. I could feel it tighten around his digit with each application of pressure to my prostate. The lubricating gel it was coated with made the effort futile to hold it firmly in place.

Then his finger was gone. Removed. For a split second my anus felt empty. Lonely. It craved something to be wrapped around, go hold and grip in place for its submissive owner. I pondered what a firm, spongy cockhead of a man's erection would feel like placed against my opening and pressed past my sphincter. If a single finger could invoke such sexual pleasure, I imagined gripping the thick firmness of an engorged cock sliding inside me must feel infinitely more so.

I was brought back to reality as the doctor informed me that everything felt normal and I could get dressed.

I meekly stood up and turned around so that I could bend over and raise my pants back up. We spoke as I zipped my pants and buckled my belt about the next steps and follow-up. Honestly, I felt like jelly on the inside. I looked this man in the eyes as we spoke and gave no indication of my inner thoughts, but they were far from the current discussion. I was thinking about what I would do if he told me to get down on my knees. Suck his cock. Lick his mature testicles and bathe them with my mouth. Swallow his cum. In my state of mind I would have performed these activities obediently, without question or hesitation, and with no reservations had he instructed me to do so.

As he spoke, I involuntarily contracted the pelvic muscle that normally interrupts one's urine stream and felt a surge of thick semen exit the tip of my penis - semen that had been "expressed" into my urethra as a result of the urologist's examination.

My prostate had been milked.

He left the room and I sat waiting on the nurse to return with my prescription. My thoughts went to those images portrayed by the ancient Greeks on their vases. Was this how the young men felt when a mature, battle-hardened warrior returned and penetrated them anally? Was it gratifying to feel the seed of the warrior ejaculated inside them just like they were inseminating their wives or lovers?

I also continued feel the presence of the lubricant that still remained in my anus and between my buttocks. It made me feel... receptive. In my current state, I could handle being penetrated by someone that I would readily submit myself to. It was a highly intoxicating prospect.

At that very moment I knew that I truly enjoyed the role of being a submissive male toward another more dominant man. I relished the thought of surrendering myself to the pleasure of a man with a much larger cock, testicles swollen with sperm, and a copious amount of seed ready to deliver inside me. Whether kneeling on my knees to service him with my mouth, or facing the floor and presenting my anus for insertion of his large cock. As far as my sexual role in relation to other men was concerned, by desires for a submissive role were solidified.

When I arrived back at my car I sat motionless for at least five minutes with my eyes closed, fantasizing and re-living the experience. My cock was now at full attention and I could feel the mixture of precum and expressed semen oozing into my underwear. There was no way that I would be able to make it home comfortably without achieving some form of sexual release. I drove off and shortly encountered a fast food restaurant. Entering the restaurant and walking directly to the restrooms I found one of the stalls empty.

Perfect.

I locked the stall door behind me, dropped my pants to my knees, and began slowly stroking my engorged cock. I swirled my thumb on the tip of my cockhead and coated it with precum, then sucked the sweet nectar off of it. I closed my eyes as my testicles drew toward my body, my cockhead swelled slightly more, and re-opend my eyes as the first rope of my cum erupted and flew in the air and behind the toiled onto the floor. A second and third rope erupted with similar distance, with the remaining emissions oozing out and down into the toilet itself. Each ejaculation accompanied a constriction of my anal sphincter, still slick with residual lubricant. This lubricated sensation heightened my yearning to have something - or someone - inside me during my orgasm.

My ecstasy subsided. I left the restaurant and resumed my journey home, fantasizing about how my first real-life experiences of sucking another man's cock, swallowing his cum, and submitting to him anally like a good submissive would transpire.

One day, perhaps. One day.