Paul's Story

I remember the first day I met him. I had answered an ad for a drummer for this new singer that was supposed to be the next hot thing. I had heard his first hit on the radio, and had pictured him as some heartsick emo boy playing sensitive to get the girls swooning. But I was broke and a job's a job.

I was shown into a practise room and given a number. I recognised some of the other guys there including a past lover or two. I had known from the time I was around 12 that I was gay. I think it was just as obvious to my friends and family as years later when I did the dramatic coming out thing, the overall reaction was, yeah we know.

When it was my turn to show my stuff I sat down at a spare kit, there was a bass player, a keyboard player and I guessed the manager all waiting for our boy to arrive.

Then he came into the room. My first impression was how small he was, he looked like a little boy and so skinny like a stiff wind could blow him to Bermuda. Then he looked at me. I was not prepared for those eyes.

My heart skipped a beat as he smiled at me and his eyes seemed to look into my very soul like deep blue lasers cutting through me. I faked a coughing fit to get time to recover, which turned into a real coughing fit. Someone handed me a glass of water.

With a soft, heavily accented British voice he asked me if I was OK. I nodded and he strapped on his guitar and we played a few songs.

Then I was thanked for coming by the manager and asked to give contact information. Which I did expecting to not hear a damn thing back.

Right after I left the audition, I bought his CD. Normally I'm more of a heavy metal or hard rock type, but there was something in his songs that grabbed me where I was most vulnerable and before it was done I was in tears from the raw and honest emotions. No doubt about it, the boy is talented.

A week went by and I had been trying unsuccessfully to get him out of my mind. In my obsession I read up on him, disappointed to find he was by all accounts straight. Not that I imagined I had a shot at him.

Then I got the call, it was him. He told me I had the job if I wanted it. He went on to explain that there would be only two weeks of rehearsal, starting the very next day, before we would be out on tour, first of Europe, then the UK and then the US. I hadn't said anything past "hello" and I think he must have wondered if I had hung up on him.

He paused, 'Paul? Are you still with me?"

You don't know how much I want to be with you, is what I wanted to say. After all just hearing him say my name made me hard, but instead I said I would be at the rehearsal the following day.

I made extra effort the next morning to make sure nothing would "come up" during rehearsals. I jacked off twice, and took a cold shower as extra insurance. I arrived at the rehearsal hall just as the rest of the band came in. Introductions were made all around and they seemed like good blokes. My gaydar didn't pick up on any of them, so I decided to not go into that aspect of my life just yet.

Then he joined us. He stopped to talk to a leggy brunette who was sitting near the back of the room. She smiled at him and rose to give him a kiss. I tried not to imagine those full lips of his on mine; instead I fumbled with the drum kit a bit pretending to be tightening the already tight screws on the hi-hat.

You would think the intimacy of being out on the road with someone would give you the opportunity to get to know them, but our boy was pretty reserved. He had this funny way of coming off as really friendly and warm while keeping you at arm's length. Don't get me wrong, he'd talk to me, but he would shy away from talking about himself. He had a disarming habit of almost interviewing the people around him but he did it in such a natural way you didn't realise it until you had a quiet moment to yourself.

His girlfriend was with him the entire European leg of the tour; she was much taller than him and very beautiful. It was pretty obvious she adored him. One awkward trip, he was in the window seat she was next to him and I was on the aisle seat. She couldn't keep her hands off of him, and I had to pretend to not see her rubbing his crotch and nibbling his neck. I had to put my jacket in my lap to prevent anyone from seeing how this was raising my interest, at one point I glanced up and he looked at me, flashed an embarrassed grin and shrugged his shoulders.

We had a couple of weeks off between the tours; once we got back together I could see something had changed. First off his girlfriend was not around as much. I also caught him looking at me a lot more with those penetrating eyes, like he was trying to figure out something important and I was the key to solving it.

He also took to drinking a great deal. Not to say he was a tee-totaler before, but one or two beers was usually it, but after the first show in London, he managed to down four beers before I had my first one opened.

The band and I talked about it one night after he had taken off for the hotel. Some guessed lady troubles, others the burden of sudden fame, I couldn't put my finger on it but I knew there was more to it.

One night he came on to me, at first I thought he was joking, but I could see by the little-boy-lost look he had that he meant it. He further confounded me by freaking out when I tried to take him up on it later that evening, and then the next morning he wouldn't look me in the eye.

I told myself I didn't need a sexually confused nutcase in my personal life, and I considered calling it a day and letting this gig go, but a quick mental tallying of my finances made me resolve to just give him a wide berth and keep in on the purely professional.

The turning point was when the guys in the band decided the travelling movie one day would be a soft-core porno. I had a raging hard-on and it gave me the courage to force my hand with him. I went to the room at the back of the bus and let myself in. He was sound asleep on his back, his lips slightly parted which made me get even more turned on. I knelt next to him and pulled his shirt open and started kissing him on the neck the same way his girlfriend did that one day.

After a few minutes his eyes opened and he sat up, pushing me away. I could see that he was both turned on and a bit scared, but I didn't relent even when he protested that this was not the time or place for this. Instead I pulled him to me and stuck my cock in his mouth. I half expected him to protest but he didn't.

I knew he hadn't done it before, his tentative attempts made me nuts. I unfortunately lost it, and wound up essentially mouth raping him. He flipped out once I let him go, his eyes were positively murderous, I really thought he was going to kill me right then and there. I slunk back to my seat and waiting for him to come after me.

I laid low for the rest of that day. I knew I had really fucked up and I figured at any time I was going to be told I was fired or worse he would find me and beat the living shit out of me. And I would have it coming. Strangely though he didn't. I was made bold by this and laid in wait for him after the show and made a move. I somehow charmed him into letting me into his room that night. I couldn't believe my luck although part of me wondered if I was going to get that beating I deserved instead.

I showered and headed to his room, the door was unlocked so I just jumped into the room and tore off my robe. The scene that greeted me wasn't quite what I expected. There he was all right, his small but chiselled bod wrapped only in a towel. But there was also the matter of his very naked girlfriend. He shot me a look of pure horror and then lost all colour in his face.

She may have been a pretty chick but she was no airhead, it took her less than a minute to size up the situation and she yanked him into the bathroom, slamming the door. I couldn't hear them talking but I was pretty sure I was the main topic. I took the cowardly way and started to sneak out but she yelled at me to stay where I was.

They came out a few minutes later, she now had on a towel as well and she said to me out of his ear shot that she was turned on by the idea of watching a man have sex with another man, that if I played my cards right both of us could get what we wanted. I was pretty shocked but willing to play along.

We took the tried and true method of letting him get very drunk. She had brought champagne and poured us all a glass, but we sipped ours while he finished off the first bottle and most of a second.

She caught my eye and we descended on him. First she gave him head while sat behind him, holding him tight to me and trying to get him further turned on. Then at her signal we switched places. She pulled him towards her so he was leaning way back on her and trapped him as I lubed up and lifted him up to enter his ass.

I think he was surprised because he bucked and twisted, trying to lift himself off the bed. He made a half screaming noise as I pushed into his tight ass that was muted by his girlfriend covering his mouth with hers. It was pretty obvious that he was not expecting it, and had his girlfriend not held him in place he would have unseated me.

Meanwhile I had an attack of conscience, on the one hand his ass felt so good to me as I slowly pushed in but the look in his eyes and the way every muscle in his body tensed I knew I was hurting him. I shifted slightly and pulled out slowly meaning to withdraw without going any further but his girlfriend gestured for me to continue.

Well, damned if I do, damned if I don't, I figured so I kept on. I lifted him up a bit more and bent him forward, after a few minutes he relaxed and I could tell I was getting to him. He tightened around me and he grew hard. His girlfriend smiled at me and then let go of him and just watched us for a few minutes before deciding to give him a blowjob.

I watched his face as I moved in him. His eyes were almost sightlessly staring up at the ceiling, his jaw was tightly clenched and he winced slightly each time I thrust home but he made no noise, I was getting pretty spooked by this, for all the reaction I was getting I could have been making love to a mannequin. I looked over at his girlfriend who was now also fingering herself.

I didn't want to see his eyes anymore so I pulled out of him and lifted him off the bed turning him around. I lifted his hips up and re-entered him from behind. She took this opportunity to get underneath him and we both fucked him at the same time.

I finally found my release and pulled out of him, his girlfriend rode him until she came sinking her teeth into his shoulder and her nails ripping his back, but I really don't think he did, he was just going through the motions. When she released him he rolled over onto his back, still totally silent, his eyes unfocused and far away.

Finally the silence got to me, I got up on one arm and looked at him, "Well boss?" I queried.

His turned to look at me, visibly making an effort to focus on my face and gave an eerie half smile, his pupils were so huge I could barely see the blue of his irises and said in a totally flat emotionless voice, that he would let me live, for now.

Then he started to laugh, it sent chills down my spine, I could tell by looking into his eyes that he had snapped, and I feared for his sanity, and to be honest my safety.

His girlfriend and I exchanged looks as the laughter went on then just as suddenly it stopped and he closed his eyes, and seemingly went to sleep. She and I were left wondering what the hell we had gotten ourselves into.