Hi all, this is my first story ever, birthed out procrastinating on an essay I should've been writing last weekend. With that being said, apologies if there are any mistakes or somethings don't make sense, as I edit it myself. I hope you all enjoy, and be sure to leave any feedback you have, I'd love to improve :)
Thanks!
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"LUKEEE! OH. MY. GOD. You've changed
SO
much! How areee youuu!"
My eyes were wide open in panic as an old high school acquaintance attempted to go in for a drunken hug, her breath reeking of alcohol with pupils so large they nearly consumed her irises whole. In the state she's in I'm surprised she even recognized who I am considering I have not a clue regarding her identity. I elegantly sidestep her, mumbling a polite apology before hurrying past her down the dark twisting hallways of Kate Wilson's vast mansion, three ice cold seltzers in hand. Luckily, this was not my first time here, and I quickly found myself leaving through a French door attached to the rec room. I stepped out into the cool summer night, letting the crisp air saturate my lungs.
I remember when Kate had called me sometime last week yapping on about her 'little get-together,' before rapid-fire listing ten or so names that I wasn't necessarily opposed to seeing again. We were all just out of college, degrees still fresh off the press, and most of these guys I hadn't actually seen since high school, despite our last words being promises of keeping in touch. Well, at least now I could finally follow through on that...
Only now, Kate's little get-together was more like a full blown rager. I had yet to see any of the people listed, or even Kate herself.
As I carefully climbed up the stairs to the upper terrace, I looked down below at the insane party going down beneath me. I was starting to wonder if she lied to me and everyone else to get them here in order to throw the most massive graduation party imaginable. I'd have to ask her later but as I finally reached the top of the staircase, I turned back and watched the chaos unfolding below like a king surveying his kingdom. Kate's main living room (because her house had multiple, of course) had a large, unfolding wall composed of wood and glass panels, allowing it to open seamlessly onto the massive backyard deck. Everyone was outside, which wasn't really a surprise. This was the start of summer in California, so the crisp evening air was just the perfect amount of cool. The weather was definitely the thing I missed most about home.
"You gonna join us? I'm thirsty!" I turned around to look at my two closest friends and fellow Belleview High graduates, Hain and Jo.
"Yeah," I agreed as I walked towards them and handed them each their drinks, Pineapple for Jo and Strawberry for Hain. I myself cracked open my lime seltzer and took a massive gulp, feeling the bubbly liquid massage my throat and warm my belly. "Dudes its crazy down there" I tell them as I lower myself down into a chair next to them, spinning it around to face towards the action. The firepit we had gathered around was on a terrace near the top of the property, offering an incredible view of the wildest party I had seen since Freshman year.
"Yeah, I can tell. Great people watching though," Hain says as we watch the debaucherous party unfolding below us.
She wasn't kidding. Just with a quick glance around the yard, I manage to spot three separate couples making out, multiple limp bodies strewn across various patio furniture, and a painful amount of suggestive dancing. Suggestive of never having danced before, that is. Mostly rhythmless grinding and lazy swaying back and forth as far as I can see. My eyes slowly swept across the packed deck, scanning for any familiar faces. I saw a couple people, mostly of the fake friend variety, as I found out sophomore year when I came out. Which was honestly kind of funny in hindsight considering I was always quite the flaming homosexual.
Now a days, I definitely present way less gay and way more masc. After my horrible coming out, I just tried to blend in, which was really easy because I think I come off as pretty unassuming and inconspicuous. I was the epitome of average. Five foot nine, 150 pounds on a lean frame that I try to keep in shape by running and swimming and yes, occasionally hitting the gym. Dark brown eyes, even darker brown hair, I often find myself staring at myself in the mirror thinking:
Eh.
The only thing I have to be thankful for is my golden bronze complexion, product of my half Mexican genes and the yearlong California sun. Maybe I'm just insecure or lack body confidence, but I don't see the appeal in, well, me. I could understand why I had yet to lose my virginity, never mind my first real kiss. My entire love life is experienced vicariously through books and movies and literally through whatever scraps of affection I can get from guys I barely know. As I glance down across the yard below at my ex-classmates, I can't help but feel that sharp knife of jealousy twist in my gut. I feel my eyes glaze and become itchy, threatening to spill tears.
Pathetic.
"Oh. My. God. Is that Trevor
fucking
Walsh?" Jo breaks me out my train of thought by uttering a name I had thought I'd never hear again.
Trevor Walsh!?
My eyes are sweeping thoroughly through the crowd. "Oh my god it is," Hain mutters as her and Jo break into a fit of contagious laughter.
"Wait guys," I begin, a small chuckle escaping me too because Trevor
fucking
Walsh has shown up to Kate Wilson's college graduation house party, the notions ridiculous. "Where? I don't see him?"
Jo lifts her hand up and points vaguely towards to crowd. "There, on the left side of the sliding wall," she tells me as I follow her finger towards, low-and-behold, Trevor standing awkwardly with his hands shoved into his pockets behind my two friends and high-school sweethearts Allie and David. My eyes, however, are fixed solely on Trevor who to my great pleasure and also chagrin has grown up into an absolutely
gorgeous
young man. I mean, in high school I always did have a little bit of a crush on him, but his quite frankly horrible attitude and hateful personality just made me avoid him. However, time definitely makes the heart grow fonder as my crush had seemingly grown into a full-grown infatuation the moment my eyes made contact with him. His golden blonde hair, once kept long and unkept in a frizzled mess was now cut shorter and sat tousled with loose waves that accentuated the natural loose curl of his hair. He'd always had an attractive face, but framed in his new, relaxed hairstyle, he now looked down-right sexy. A characteristically bored and jaded look accentuated his sharp jaw and profound cheekbones, causing deep shadows to cross his face at oblique angles due his back facing the bright interior lights. Despite the immense distance and odd angle, the light of his bright blue eyes was still distinguishable as they darted skittishly across the crowd. And holy shit, his
body
. Strapped in a tight-fitting black tank-top, his brawny and toned arms not so subtly revealed a new muscular physique for Trevor to the general public. I notice many other glances and whisperings directed towards him. I feel that inevitable slight pain of sadness of once again seeing the unattainable in the flesh before I quickly swallow my pain and stop my wallowing.
"Luke, I swear to god you better not be doing what you think I'm doing." I'm snapped out of my revere by Jo's stern admonishment as I realize that I have probably spent the past minute with my mouth slightly agape, eyes glazed as I unabashedly stared Trevor down. I felt my face heat up as I look at the pissed faces of my friends. Right, he was unattainable and a complete asshole, especially to my closest friends. Let's not get ahead of myself.
"I was just enjoying the eye-candy," I reply, breaking into a sheepish grin. Jo rolls her eyes while Hain nods disapprovingly.
"Nah, that is unredeemable behavior," Hain says jokingly as she takes a heavy sip from her can. "Although I don't blame you," she adds, looking at me with pity. I once again feel that deep lonely sadness wash over me. Hain and Jo were really the only people who've stuck around long enough to see that I've never been in a relationship, but I never bring it up because of the obvious sore spot. I just sigh wistfully as I once again turn my attention the party. By now Allie and David were making their way towards the stairs, waving off a group of people with Trevor still in tow.
"Oh shit, here they come," I say, making eye contact with my two friends before we simultaneously take a healthy gulp from our drinks. I'm able to finish the can as Allie and David begin to rise into view.
"I knew you'd guys be up here," Allie says with a slight slur and with a smug smile as the trio walk over to us. "How are y'all! I haven't seen any of you in so long," she continues as she leans down to give each of us a brief hug.
"Good. Glad schools finally done, forever," Hain says, earning mummers of agreement from around the circle. Of which I notice Trevor isn't part of, having decided to resign himself to standing behind Allie and David as he absentmindedly stares into the flickering flames of the fire. I quickly became mesmerized watching the incandescent flames dance in the reflection of Trevor's pupils, giving the illusion as if his eyes were shimmering in the dark.
"Yeah, but now it's time to join the workforce and get nine-to-fives," Allie says pessimistically, causing everyone to groan.
I begin to tune everyone out as my eyes slowly keep drifting towards Trevor. He's just standing there, hands still casually tucked deep into his pockets yet he has a powerful magnetic effect on my gaze. Now that he's up close, I'm able to study him more completely. Even underneath the snug fitting fabric, the contour of his lean yet muscular physique was impossible to miss. The tank stretched tightly over his broad chest. Though his abs were hidden beneath his clothes, the tank's form-fitting fabric allowed it to mold to the sharp lines of his body, highlighting his narrow waist and delicious V-taper of his torso. His arms, left bare by the tank's cut, stood out thick and bulbous, pronounced veins traveling the length of his arms, fading in and out of his pale skin. Thank God he was wearing a pair of pale shorts just as tight as his top, as it allowed me to soak in the absolute size of his massive legs, his powerful quads clearly defined through the thin fabric of his shorts. How the hell did he get so hot in four years? My eyes slowly swept back up his body making sure to take in every last detail of his athletic body. However, when my eyes finally reached his face, I saw myself staring into twin icy blue eyes with an unreadable look on Trevor's face.
Shit
. I quickly looked away and tuned back into the conversation, of which David was telling us about his upcoming internship in Seattle for Microsoft. I was honestly just trying not to freak out. I had so obviously been checking him out, and Trevor, well. He's the type to take offense to the mere thought of a gay guy being attracted to them. Violently straight I call them, and he certainly fit that description. Well, at least in high school. Granted it's been a little over four years since I've seen him, and it wouldn't be unreasonable to think he's changed as much internally as externally...
"Luke, do you have that joint?" I'm once again snapped out of my musings by Jo, whose hand is extended towards me palm up.
"Yeah, one sec," I reply as I take the joint out of my pocket and gingerly pluck it out of its container. I light it and take a nice, deep drag letting that comfortably unpleasant feeling of smoke spill into my lungs before blowing out, a huge puff of smoke releasing into the clear night sky. I quickly pass it to Jo and then tune out their impassioned conversation as my attention once again returns to Trevor. As I look towards him, I'm surprised to find his returned gaze unflinching as we lock eyes. His eyes really were incredible, like icy blue pools or diamonds, it felt kind of insane that someone so awful could have such beautiful eyes. Really, everything about him was beautiful; It was disarming.
I felt my mind racing as a thought crossed my mine. I sense a lull in the conversation, no doubt partially due to me going mute for the past couple minutes. Once the joint comes back to me, about half the size it was previously, I take a large hit before turning to back to Trevor. "Yo Trevor, what's up?"
I feel him physically snap back to reality, probably previously deep in his own head. "Hmm? Oh,
hiii Lukeee
," he said with a grating exaggerated drawl.
Any previous thoughts of good-will were erased. "Why you standing over there all alone?" I asked, a teasing smile playing across my lips. "Why don't you come over and join us?"
"If you give me a hit of the joint."
"You're crazy if you think I'm gonna do that," I say slightly venomously despite going for a more of a funny sarcastic vibe.
