Author's note: I don't usually write in this genre, so I'm not sure if this is a familiar storyline or not. In any case. I hope you enjoy.
"I guess here is good a place as any." Andy stood at the end of the short pier at the lake.
"You gonna say a few words when you pour out the ashes?"
"Let me think a minute for something appropriate." Andy continued after a pause. "Good-bye, Stan, you old fart. We're going to miss you some and the beer you usually brought a lot more." The ashes in the urn were flung into the water.
"Here. Here." Conrad chuckled.
"Well, there's just the two of us left now. I thought for sure that one of us would go before Stan."
"I think it was too much Viagra that did him in. He just couldn't keep up with that young woman he was fucking."
"Conrad, that young woman, as you put it, is a grandmother."
"Andy, we're both great-grandfathers. Grandmothers ARE young to us."
"As the kids say these days, 'Tru Dat.' You know, I admire Stan going out the way he did. He was getting ridden cowboy, right?"
"I heard it was 'reverse cowboy.'"
"What's that?"
"I think that's where the woman is on top but her back is to the man's face."
"Shit, I'm lucky to get off with my hand these days."
"I know what you mean."
"It's nice out here on the pier. What say we grab a couple of chairs, the beer cooler, and a good cigar and just sit and talk shit about the rotten old days?"
"Sounds good to me." It took about 15 minutes to return to the end of the pier. They were treated to a nice sunset.
Andy and Conrad went through a couple of drinks and a cigar apiece while they told several old stories from past fishing trips with the original group of men they fished with. They were not used to the strength of either the alcohol or the cigar. An old familiar buzz hit them both. That made it easier to talk about a familiar topic: Sex. They talked about how many times they got blue balls before their girlfriends that became wives gave in and had sex. Andy told of how he and his wife-to-be got caught by her parents out in the car in the driveway. They lied about being engaged and then had to make it the truth. Conrad told of being caught by the police at a favorite make out spot. Conrad got his dick caught in his zipper trying to get his pants on too quickly. It took two weeks to heal and hurt every time he started to get an erection. They talked about how the frequency of sex diminished as they got older. The more they drank, they became willing to talk about the naughtier side of their sex lives.
Andy asked, "What's the wildest sex you ever had, Conrad?"
There's not too many times that come to mind. "I'd have to say it was that hippie girl at UK. I thought I had told you that story before."
"I must have not listened well or it's my Alzheimer's kicking in. Go ahead and tell it again."
"Well, it was the summer of 1969. During the Spring there had been a student demonstration because four students got busted for some academic violation. They weren't well known students, and they really didn't try to make that much fuss about it. There were a group of students, however, that were ready to demonstrate about anything, probably because most of the other colleges had done so. Anyway, I didn't think it really mattered to them why they were demonstrating. They took over the Student Union Building after they painted the cannon in front of the Administration Building red. Then they turned the cannon around so that it pointed at the Admin Building. Someone put a M-80 firecracker in the barrel. I took a picture that makes it look like the cannon had been fired at the building. It was the cover for the next year's student phone directory.
"Although there was no violence, the Spring semester ended with many classes cancelling finals. It was the summer before the four students would go in front of the judicial board to vote on their appeal of their suspension. I was one of the students on the judicial board. I guess I was considered a conservative then, but I really didn't care about the politics of the matter. There were a few student demonstrators left on campus, however, that did care. One of them was a girl who never wore a bra, had real short hair, and was always in bell bottoms. She was cute in the face, but the main attraction was her big boobs and enormous ass. Evidently, she thought she could sway my vote by fucking me. She didn't sway my vote but she sure as hell rocked my boat. Damn, we tried every position that could be tried. In the day when oral sex was still rare, she sucked me and let me fuck her ass. When we 69'd, it was a perfect fit. She was the first girl to swallow my cum and hers was the first carpet I ever munched. Oh yeah, she was the first squirter I ever had. Thank goodness she didn't taste bad."
"What about you?"
"Well, I'm kind of afraid to tell you."
"What? Did you fuck my wife?"
"No. Hell, no. I'm surprised YOU even fucked that bitch." They both laughed.
"The wildest sex I ever had was with a man."
Conrad spewed his drink in front of him. "You telling me after all these years that you're really a homo?"
"I'm no homo. You know me better than that. Think about it. Have you ever not enjoyed blowing your load whether it was from your hand, a woman's mouth, a woman's pussy or a woman's ass?"
"Well, I could tell the difference between when it was my hand and when it was a woman."
"What if it had been a transvestite that fooled you? Are you telling me that you wouldn't have taken a blowjob from a man you thought was a woman?"
"I don't know. I never have. At least I don't think I have. I was with some girls that were certainly uglier than most guys I knew."
"If you had, would getting a blowjob from a transvestite have made you a faggot?"
"Well, no. Of course, not."
"Well, I had an incident that convinced me that getting a blowjob from a homosexual didn't make me a homosexual and it felt better than 90% of the blowjobs I've ever received from a woman."
"Tell me about it."
"Do you remember Steve Berringer from our high school class?"
"I remember he was always quiet. Pretty much a loner, but a nice guy. He didn't seem to be very enthusiastic about anything or take any leadership positions. Everybody liked him but he didn't date much. I don't remember where he went to college."
"Well, I met Stevie again at our high school class' Tenth Reunion."
"Yeah, that's the only one I've missed."
"Okay. Stevie came late and hadn't reserved a room. He asked if he could room with me."
"Stevie? You had sex with Stevie?"
"Don't interrupt. This is my story. Anyway, we mingled with other classmates and their spouses, danced with sexiest women we could, told lies and all the other stuff one does at a reunion. We finally staggered up to my room. It had a king- sized bed. There was plenty of room for two people to sleep without touching each other so I didn't think anything about it.
"We got ready for bed. Both of us were in boxer shorts and sat up with propped up pillows. I asked if he wanted to watch a movie. Pay-for-movies was a new thing for hotels at the time. He agreed and as I was surfing the choices, a porn channel came up. We both looked at each other and grinned. I turned on that channel. One film said it was a threesome. I automatically thought that meant two women and a man, but it was two men and a woman. I didn't think that was that big a deal until I saw the two men kissing. I looked over at Stevie and saw he had his penis out stroking it. I wasn't feeling no pain or shame so I said, 'What the hell' and joined him. Before long the men in the movie were in a 69 position sucking each other's cocks and I have to admit I was getting pretty turned on.
"Stevie looked over at me and said, 'Would you like me to do that for you? I don't mind."
"Between the liquor, the horniness, and the film; I said 'That's okay with me if that's what you want.' He moved over and took my penis in his hand. He spit on his hand and started moving it up and down my dick. I leaned my head back and moaned, 'That feels so good.' I wasn't lying. It felt great. I could feel my climax building.
"After stroking me a while, he asked, 'Do you want to feel even better?' Of course, I replied yes. 'Do you want me to suck you?' I yelled, "Hell, yes!" The next thing I knew he was licking the pre-cum off the top of my dick. He barely got his mouth on it before I started spurting. Some of the first spurt hit him in the face, but he quickly took me deeper until I finished. Then he sucked down every drop and licked me clean afterwards. Then he went to the bathroom and cleaned off what had hit his face.
"When he came back to bed, Stevie asked, 'How was it?' I said, 'Fantastic.' He offered, 'That was so fast you probably didn't have time to really enjoy it. Would you like me to do that again?' I was still riding the euphoria, so I said, 'For sure.' Stevie kissed, licked, and sucked me better than anyone had before or since. He had me hard again in minutes and sucked me off to another thunderous orgasm. We took a break."
Andy and Conrad noticed they both had boners they were massaging. Andy spoke, "Hell, we're a couple of old coots that don't need to waste a hard-on. I'm bringing mine out in the air." Andy proceeded to unleash his dick. Conrad was more reluctant.
"I guess it's dark enough and there's no one to see. I was afraid to get mine out earlier, because you might think I was queer and I was afraid you would be a lot bigger than me." Conrad unveiled his penis.
Both men stroked themselves for several minutes in silence.
Andy continued with his story. "After the break, I asked Stevie if he expected me to suck him off." He said, 'Only if I wanted to.' I told him I didn't think I could even though I really enjoyed him doing it to me. He surprised me by asking if he could stick his penis in my ass. He said he really needed the relief and if I wasn't going to suck him... I agreed. Stevie got some lube from his suitcase. I turned over on my stomach and stuck my ass out. The lube was cold but the feeling around my ass hole was exciting. I had no idea it would feel that good. He introduced a finger up to a knuckle and moved it back and forth. It began to feel so good, I asked him for more. After two fingers were inserted and stuck in and out, I was ready for his penis. It took a minute for me to adjust, but soon I was begging him not to stop. We both ejaculated about the same time. After that, we went to sleep. The next morning, he took care of my morning wood with his mouth. That's the story of my most exciting night of sex."
